Loving you like yesterdays (chapter one)
Loving you like yesterdays
9th June 2005 (5 years backwards)
The sun setting outside the window was turning the whole cafe orange. It's two hours before Hoya was due to show up, Sulli thought as she struggled to put her feelings onto paper. Some things just don't quite translate verbally when you haven't spoken to each other in three weeks. He's only two years older than her, but of late Hoya seemed to talk about was his soon-to-be transition from university student to a working professional, and only very briefly did he focus on her. Was he drifting further and further away from her? A glance at her watch told her that it was eight minutes to seven. Time to abandon her pathetic attempt at a letter. She would simply lay the truth right on Hoya tonight. Absolutely, Sulli promised herself. After all, didn't the horoscopes in this morning's paper predict that red and pink would bring her luck today? The hour hand of her watch finally ticked to seven. Sulli lifted her head, and found herself looking right into that dimpled grin that she loved so much.
"Sorry for taking lots of your precious times to wait for me, traffic jammed anyways," Hoya, looking so much adorable like he'd been used to, wearing mint green effortless tee with casual brown chino pants, his sturdy appearance at this early morning verbally and physically showing up his manly side, broke off the silence. "Well, its okay." I could not even being so warm to him, I replied coldly as I continued myself to look at the stupid Starbucks's window. Finally and at last, he came by advance. It was so happy to see as he stared at me by his stunning eyes, I could not even picture my happiness. But, ego has been dominating my thoughts. I replied to every of his queries coldly and he just keep on smiling and the worst thing is, that was the last day I met him. If only I could turn back the time, I would like to be with him and stay by his shoulders for eternally forever.
But...
"My last wish, before I spend my adult days at States, mind if you send me off at the airport?" asked Hoya nicely while observing my actual feelings inside of me. Truth to be told, I feel like I want to and I really wanted to send him off but you know, I couldn't let my ego down. Without saying any words or even saying any apologize speeches, I ran off to the washroom and cried alone. Those intense feelings, I just could not let him to know about my true feelings. 'Don't let him know that you're now in sober' as those petty thought popped to my mind. 'Leave him and get a new guy' negative thoughts came by. I just could not fathom what is going on with me. It just not that we've been avoiding to each other for three weeks, he's a loyal and a good boyfriend to every's girl, frankly. I just don't know why that I have the guts to hate him so much?
Or, its just because he'll be leaving me for I don't think so when we'll be re-unite? Maybe for years or so. I wiped my tears and went back to the table where me and Hoya spent the icily cold conversation.
"Are you alright?" yes, Hoya cared for me. I told ya, he's a caring and tough guy that I would like to hug tightly and eternally, if only God allows me again. "Yes...I'm alright. Sorry, this Saturdays I have lots of assignments to do, we'll meet again for somehow. Goodbye," I replied without looking at his face. I left him and hoped that God blesses him for no matter what it takes.
'I love you so much that I can't express by words and I won't be leaving you, that's my promise' his last text message been around my mind that I just could not avoid it from getting into my mind.
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