I've never really been an outgoing person. In fact, I'm generally shy. Extremely shy. I hardly have any friends. Online, however is a very different matter. Hiding behind an alias, I can be as outgoing, as truthful, or as forward as I liked. I could fulfill my every fantasy and desire and let it out for the world to see without any worry of being bothered in real life by those who would use it against me. I could even reveal my entire life story, with just enough changes to keep my identity a secret. I enjoyed the kind of secrecy that it allowed. All of my online friends accept me for who I am and if anyone has a problem, it's as easy as a few clicks, and I don't have to worry about them ever again.

One thing I could never let anyone know about, especially the people I knew, was a fact that would have been looked down on by my religious parents and my bully peers. It was a fact that would get me beat up, shunned and even kicked out of my own home.

I am gay.

It's not like I ever wanted to be. I tried liking girls. I even found my brother's hidden stash one time and flipped through it. Nothing. It seems I can't change what I am. I can only pretend, be untrue to myself.

But even then it slips through. 

See, there's this boy I like at school, Minho. He doesn't even know I exist. He's fairly popular with the girls and has lots of friends and is good in sports.

That's probably why he's never even looked my way. He's perfect, and I'm invisible to most. In a way, it's a good thing. I don't get bullied much. It's also a burden. How am I to make friends if no one can see me? I may be shy, but that doesn't mean I don't want friends. 

A person like me would never be able to be with a person like him. There was too many obstacles.

I was in love with the unattainable.