I wonder how it is to fall in love, is it truly beautiful, an unexplainable feeling? Is it truly like the songs I sing about falling and being in love? Is it true that butterflies appear in the person’s stomach when they are falling in love? If all these things are true then I wanted to fall in love with someone, but I am not allowed to because my life as an idol forbids me to love someone. It would be wonderful to fall in love with someone, but the fans will feel betrayed and will hurt the person I most love. I completely love my fans and they are my everything, but I wish they will let me date, let me fall in love. If I even check out a girl then the fans will feel heartbroken. I don’t understand I write countless love songs, countless time I have sang them on stage; songs about the feeling of falling in love, songs about kissing the person I love, songs about break ups, I just want to experience all of the things that songs say. I want to fall in love with someone, but I am not allowed to because the fans will feel betrayed and heartbroken.

I want to fall in love and take the love of my life on many dates, dates like the ones seen in dramas and music videos. I will take her to different places, showing the world that she is mine, while holding her soft creamy like hand with  her fingers that interlock with my long and lanky fingers and never let her go, but I can’t because the fans would be betrayed. During those dates, I will always buy her favorite type of ice cream then take her to the park, where we can eat it like in the dramas do. If there is some ice cream on her soft pink lips then I will kiss it off like the character does in Secret Garden. I will take her on the most romantic yet simple dates and I will make sure that I will always make her smile. I will give her a necklace to always remember me. We will have couple rings with each ring has our initials inscribed. When we head home and getting ready to go asleep, I will make sure that I will always kiss her goodnight, but I can’t because the fans will feel betrayed and heartbroken.

I want to wake up next to her with her hair falling gently over her beautiful face, her shoulders peeking out of the blanket that hugs her body. The pads of my fingers tracing all over her face down to her soft kissable lips, while she is sleeping. I will pull her close to me close enough for me to smell her hair shampoo while her face is buried into my chest and she unknowingly wraps her arm around my body returning the hug then I can feel her smile as I hug her. I want see her gorgeous eyes slowly open from their slumber; however, I can’t because if I wake up next to the love of my life then the fans will feel betrayed and heartbroken.

When I walk to the kitchen I want to see her in my shirt that covers her lovely body while she is cooking us breakfast. I will walk up to her and hug her ever so tightly and start kissing her on the nape of her neck.  Then I will watch her as she flinches and starts complaining that can’t keep my hands to myself; I don’t know how to keep my hands to myself. My hands can’t get enough of her, I can’t get enough of her, she is so addicting. I don’t know why got me attracted to her. There is something that she had that makes me so addicted to her. She is some kind of drug to me. An Intoxicating drug that has me doing the impossible in order to keep her close to me.  Like a drug I wouldn’t share with anyone and if it were up to me I will never let her go, but then again her sassy and stubborn attitude won’t let me.  Then again her sassy and stubborn attitude is just a flaw that I don’t care about, her kindness and strong hearted personality is what made me fall in love in the first place. Many guys say that their girlfriends are perfect and flawless, but to me I know about my lady flaw and again I don’t care about them. It is not like her flaws are going to change anything and her flaws only make her more human to me. I just love her. I will love to wake up to this every day, but I can’t because the fans will feel betrayed and heartbroken.

I will love to sing to her the songs about love that I write and always show my affection to her. I will let my lips dance with her delicate lips when I have her under me and when I look at her I will jealous of the clothes that she wears because those clothes hug her lovely body, I am the one that should be hugging that beautiful body of hers. I want to rip her clothes off and have her under me giving her the pleasure of a lifetime, a pleasure that happens when a couple is in love. I want us to scream each other’s name when it hits and leave her with marks to remind her of the damage we did that night or that day and let the world that she is all mine. I will love to have her in my arms after all this, but I can’t because the fans will feel betrayed and heartbroken.

            After date for a while and I know she is the one; I will want to ask her the question and hear her answer.  After the long planning, I want to feel that nervous feeling that a groom feels before his wedding. I want to feel the anticipation of wanting to see her in her pretty white dress When I am waiting for her at the altar, I will hear the wedding bells ring as she walks up to the altar with her pretty white dress and hear the piano playing the classical wedding song. I want to see her beautiful smile that will make time stop as I pull over her white veil. I love to hear her say her vows and I want to say mine then hear the priest telling us to say our “I do’s”. I will hear her soft and happy voice saying, “I do” then I will reply with and “I do”. Then when the priest pronounces us as a new married couple, I will kiss her so much that it will have her trying to find a way to breath because I want her to be the only one that I will love.  After time passes by, I want to come from work to only hear her telling me about a new guest that will come in nine months. I will want to spin her in circle and kiss her stomach, where the new family member is going to be formed. I will call everyone telling them the news and everyday come with a baby item to put in the room where he or she will sleep. I want to wake up in the middle of the night to attend to her weird cravings, even though I will hate it at first and will be extremely tried, but in the end I will always love her. I will love to marry the person that I love and form a family with her, but I can’t because the fans will feel betrayed and destroyed.

  I think it is kind of stupid that I write songs about love, but I can’t experience it because I am a love toy to fans.  I see that my other members want to date their heart’s conqueror, but they are too afraid that the fans will hurt her. They have seen though other Korean male idols that get into a relationship get bashed by their fans. I know that not all fans are like this; they are very supportive to us and give us as much space. Maybe they are realistic and not they don’t have a chance with us or they are just simple nice and good people. I knew that when I became an idol that I will have to do a lot of sacrifices, but I don’t want to sacrifice my love life. I want to love, but I can’t because the fans will feel betrayed. I don’t know what else to give them. I give them a lot of love and attention, but I don’t understand why they won’t let me date. I love them, but let me be selfish and let me date the person I love. Please?

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Author's Note: I wrote this because I get so mad when an male idol is dating and fans start giving him or the girlfriend hate. COME ON! They are human! They have a heart too! Besides, it is not like we ,the fans, have chance with them. They will love us no matter what they just have to slipt their heart with the lucky young woman. ^^ Come most the idols we like are WAY out of our league. I know that as a fan, it be a little heartbroken because we dream about being with them, but at Least I know they are happy. A fan will only want the their idol to be happy. so pretty please with a cherry on T.O.P can you let them date their love of their life. Q.Q  Do you really want you idol to be forever alone in the lonely world? Comment what your thoughts about this.

I chose L.Joe because hence my username  I AM BIASED TOWARDS L.JOE!^^ but this really meant for all the male idols because I know that male idols will feel this way.

 I did made one before this one, but I thought it be nice to add more to this since I been getting great comments about it. If you have any ideas what to do with this fanfic then comment below. I read and reply to them^^

Love always.

 Ljoethedork

p.S I will (hopefully) be up dating more not that I have a vacation.