title: Never Know,  Never  Predict  Love
 author: princessamy
 themes: slight angst,  slice of life
 description: A girl is walking along a  full of  thorn pathway, in the  middle of  it,  she meets  a shining light.  She wants  to keep the  shining  light to  herself  but  she's dirty, so she  thinks  the light  won't  stay with  her and will  leave  her  alone in the  darkness, suffers to  death.  The story of a girl  with a bitter  past. Will she  continue to drown in her  past or awake just in  time?
 note: reviewed only the first 8 chapters (since  chapter 6 is a chapter only with quotes)

TITLE: (3/5)

The title seems acceptable to the fanfic. Of course no one could predict what love would do to you. It doesn't seem like a common title to find, either. It is not just giving off much of attention for me.

DESCRIPTION&FOREWORD: (3/5)

The song lyrics you used do have a relevance to the point of your fic. The lyrics were nice itself that apparently I'm starting to get curious of the song itself. You could edit the grammar and structure of the lyrics, though. From this point I have to say that I am actually particular in details. In "I want to turn back time, wanna go back...." and "I struggle restlessly....", you placed 4 periods here, wherein the standard is 3 periods. In "But you know you and I", you could've done "But you know, you and I.", "But you  know...  you and I.", or "But you and I.".

The short description made me think that this fic would be cliché, since it is about a person taking a look back into her past and evaluate if she has to move on. But then the way you stated it here in the description is interesting and unique  compared to the other fics with a similar plot. In "A lonely girl is walking along a full of thorn pathway", I'm confused if you meant thorn or torn, judging from the way you used "thorn" here. You probably meant "walking along a pathway full of thorns" or "walking along a torn pathway". In "alone in the darkness, suffers to death.", it should be "alone in the darkness, suffering to death.".

The quote provided here really fits the idea of this fic.

The way you stated your foreword got me interested as it apparently is based on a true story, and you explained more of this well.

POSTER: (4/5)

The placement and editing of the pictures were done nicely. The colors and textures used do give off the feel of your fic. For the font of your title, though, I think it'd be better if it were cursive.

PLOT: (15/15)

It was good to give off a background that explains her past and much of what you placed in your description and foreword. Since I only read until the part where she was just getting used to her new life, I had no problems with the plot so far.

ORIGINALITY: (13/15)

What made this unique from the other fics that have the same idea as this is that in her present life, there were the roles of L.joe and Myungsoo. At first, I could pinpoint L.joe as that friend that comforts the main character. But in the end there happened to be two friends, not to mention, guy friends, that comforts her and is of much importance to her.

Well, there's still the whole idea of getting into such past and it's effects.

FLOW: (7/10)

It's nice that you provided a note to see whose point of view to follow, to avoid confusion.

You could make your chapters longer, though. Since those were short, it made the events per chapter seemed rushed.

WRITING STYLE: (7/10)

Um... you place too much oppas. Seeing too much of that tends to make me cringe and not focus well. Avoid overusing  it.

I also think it's really unnecessary to place those italicized thoughts since the way you put this fic is in terms of their point of views, wherein we place ourselves in the shoes of the characters. Basically everything in the point of views is the character's thoughts and what he or she senses.

In Chapter 2, Daehyun mentioned about his "bap friends". Daehyun should've introduced his bap friends to the readers thoroughly, even if I know what those bap are. You could introduce  them as just their ordinary out-of-the-band friends. The same goes with Myungsoo with his "Infinite" friends.

Apparently your sentences are straight to the point, and that's good.

CHARACTERIZATION: (8/10)

Hae Ri and Daehyun's roles  were already identified well in the story, and that's great. Zelo, L.joe and Myungsoo got the factor of being important side characters, as well. I don't see how much of importance Himchan is in this fic, yet, since in Hae Ri's past life, you seem to emphasize him a bit. I bet he'll be important later on anyways.

Chapter 4 is a good chapter to give off how Hae Ri feels about her past, and this will be my favorite chapter among those I had reviewed.

However, you seem to have about 6 girl friends for Hae Ri. Usually it's hard to identify a distinct role or characteristic of them in that number. Among them, Ji Eun seems to stand out.

GRAMMAR&SPELLING: (9/15)

I have no problems about the spelling.

And now yet  again I am very particular in the details.

There are some cases wherein you forgot to capitalize the first letter of the words where it is supposed to be capitalized, such as being the first word of the sentence, and names.

You missed a few prepositions (such as a, with, and for):

• "a boy with handsome face" - "a boy with a handsome face"
• "Just the time taken a bit longer than it supposed to be" - "Just the time taken a bit longer than it's supposed to be"

​Then, in some cases, you have to remove them:

• "There’s won’t be any distractor"

​Be mindful of the noun whether it'd be singular or not.

• "Of course, he’s my best friends."
• "I think Zelo spends more times with her than you"
• "With lightly step" - "With lightly steps"

​You have to be mindful of the verb tense, too, whether past, present, or future:

• "You almost give me a heart attack" - "You almost gave me a heart attack"
• "I never thought that the storm of my life just approaching from afar - "I never thought that the storm of my life would be just approaching me from afar"
• “Oh, Hae Ri. You came,”
• "It’s been a while since I meet him" - "It’s been a while since I met him"
• "I’m a bit relief" - "I'm a bit relieved"
• "I  don't think she get hurt from falling" - "I don't think she got hurt from falling"

Others:

• "his turquoise matching t-shirt and pant" - "his turquoise matching t-shirt and pants"
• "I lied to Hae Ri because Zelo didn’t know that I’m meeting with Hae Ri right now and I didn’t have any intentions to bring him with me." - I think it'd be better if you put "I lied to Hae Ri because I wouldn't want Zelo to know that I'm meeting her and bringing him here."
•"You’re my one and only the sweetest oppa to me"  - "You're the one and only sweetest oppa to me
• "Zelo stills a kid" - "Zelo still's a kid"
• "I will go to my new school with confident" - "I will go to my  new school with confidence"​

ENJOYMENT: (7/10)

To be honest, this is the first fic I've read that has L.joe as one of the characters. He's a member I look out for in TeenTop lol, so this is quite exciting for me. Daehyun apparently is my bias in B.A.P, too //bricked//. And come to think of it, since this was based on a true story...did this really happen to your friend's best friend?

TOTAL: (76/100)

(c) wild。
Thanks  for requesting!! I'm sorry this took long to put up. I really took note of every detail ^^;;