I'm just a monster...that's right I'm rap monster. I scare everyone away, I'll never be loved. Hated by everyone...what am I supposed to do. I screamed the loudest I could. It's just so empty here. Of course no one would care for me. I'm all alone in this crazy world.

Banging my fists against the wooden floors, my cries getting louder and louder. I feel my anger finally releasing, everything somehow felt a bit softer. The room echoing back my screams, somehow felt soothing.   

I just let my self collapse and laid down, words flowing out in perfect rythm. The words just magically came out of me, something that always happens when I'm able to just let go.

Eojjeomyeon igeon hakgyoran sagaui ring uieseoui namanui ssaum
Nugunganeun geujeo banggwane daehan jeongdanghwail bbunira haketjiman
Oh I don’t care, keugeon eoreundeulinnikka swibge hal su itneun yaegi
Kahaeja anim pihaeja anim da banggwanjaga dwineun yeogi

Just remembering about school hurts. So glad I'm done with that , just hated everything.

Nal bigeobhada songaragjilhaedo joha
Geunde jeon eolmana jeonguirowosseotnya

When I'm just able to let myself be....myself. It's rare I get to get time out for myself, to let the cry baby out...it's relieving yet still. Yet I still feel sad and empty after my rap. 

Suddenly the lights came on, my dark sanctuary...my safe place suddenly intruded? Who dare..? 

"Oh you're here Namjoon? Why were the lights closed?" Jhope? He came in walking with his bright grin and asked me curiously. That smile...how do you manage to always smile so beautifully? Do you really have nothing to worry about? Nothing to be sad about? How do you do that Hoseok? But of course I don't want to ask him that, he's just so pure...I'm sure he really doesn't have any worries. 

So why should I bother him with my worries? I just answer him half heartedly, "I was just taking a nap here. Was practicing my rap just a while ago." still squinting from the brightness of the lights, but Hoseoks smile...was also too blinding. 

He continued smiling and said simply, "I'm going to dance." That's Hoseok alright...he'll constantly dance no matter what. Without any music at all, he can still just create the music himself, his body moving in ways I wish I could. So easily...twisting here twisting there. 

I was lost as my thoughts suddenly vanished as I continued to watch him move. Move in such magical ways. It felt healed to just blanken my mind and watch the show in front of me.

The room was in complete silence, the room suddenly blurring. Our surroundings seeming to just dissapear, like it was only me and him. What is this feeling? God damn...the way he moves. I just want to get up and touch him, to feel his bare skin under me, to watch him move and squirm under me. I want to reach out. To have his smiling face under me, his bright smile bringing hope to everyone.

He started to burst out laughing all of a sudden. His heavenly high pitched laugh woke me from my dream, making me want him even more. Why is his voice so beautiful...by the way he needs more lines. 

"Why are you looking at me like that? You're so strange...you want to dance Nam?" He said while laughing. He reached out for my hand suddenly. What is this? Are you for real? You want me to dance with an angel like you? You know I can't... but I couldn't refuse and just took his hand. He pulled me up and held onto both my hands.

What is this? I suddenly feel all light and fluttery. He's holding me...Hoseok's holding me. A guy is holding me. Shouldn't I be disgusted, shouldn't I just vomit and run away from him? Yet I'm here feeling like...feeling...happy. 

"What's this? Why are you suddenly smiling Nam?" Hoseok asked while he kept laughing. I just couldn't help smile even wider. Is this what true happiness feels like? Why have I been suffering so long when my hope has been here so long. 

I can't stop myself...I just wanted to hug him and never let go. And that's what I did. I squeezed his back, smiling like an idiot. Both of us idiots. Suddenly tears started falling, but this time happy tears. "Thank you Hope-y...you really are my hope." I whispered into his ear, "Thank you so much." I couldn't stop my tears as I clung onto him, even tighter. 

I could just feel his genuine smile on my shoulder, as he patted me and said, "That's just my job."

Will Jhope ever be able to not stand on his two feet, will he ever be the one needing hope. The one to receive not give. Isn't it tiring for Hope-y? 

Yess I have FINALLY updated 

I really am sorry...can't believe it's been two WHOLE MONTHS T.T I can't believe it...I am so rude to my fics..no? I just get distracted and just...didn't have the mood and feel to write...but it's finally HERE~~ 

Ugh I just love Hoseok too much <3 ^^ Love them both so much. I just couldn't stop smiling when watching Bangtan so here it finally is~