They were 5 shining boys who had proven time and time again that they can hold one of the best live performances with powerful vocals and equally strong choreography. They started with two main vocals that had proven their worth as singers, a bridge and two younger ones developing their talents. They were not the usual b-boy group, not the usual bubbly boys; they broke the mold and explored genres others would just back away from. They did the hellish choreography and sang about the devil himself, dyed their hair and wore ridiculously weird outfits. They were unafraid to try anything and everything. They shone like diamonds because they are one; minor cash cows the company promoted but still, they made the cash flow nonetheless. They were known as Noona killers; telling them that they are Juliet and made the girls press replay again and again. They are SHINee, shining like precious gemstones amidst the congested Kpop scene.

To the world, he was known as SHINee’s leader with a weird but loveable sangtae. But to SHINee, he was their most fragile gem. Onew was, perhaps, the most vulnerable member despite being the leader. He was insecure and he lacked the confidence that Kibum had. He was anti social and would only approach only a couple of his fellow SMTOWN artists. He was never the popular one despite the growing number of MVP’s that followed him.

The world sees the precious smile of the leader but behind the sweet smile was the bitter scars he was enduring; little did everyone knew, Onew was dying a painful death called rejection. He wasn’t sure of what to feel after hearing from people how he lacked in some ways, how clumsy he was, how he was a burden to the group. People said that SHINee can do well without him, and that the group didn’t need a weirdo who slips and falls on every performance they have. They don’t need a person who thinks about chickens and tells weird and lame jokes. All this time Onew knew he was unwanted.

He cuddled himself tightly and covered himself in darkness as the words resounded in his brain, the scars multiplying by the minute. He still can’t get used to all the pain that words had caused him; despite being a veteran in the industry. The words still haunted him, he had no sleep, he had no motivation, and he had lost his hope.

He shunned himself away from his brothers and closed the doors on everybody. He separated himself from reality and dwelled on the delusional world that consumed him piece by piece. In his solitude, he found peace and comfort in the darkness: No one wanted him anyway.

But he did not notice the hurt he caused his four brothers, especially to a young man whose heart was beating for him. He did not notice the tears the younger shed for him. He did not feel the arms that tried to comfort him. He did not notice that one person who truly loved him.

The days he had spent on his own was the only time he had thought of committing the gravest sin on earth; suicide. He tried to cut his wrist but decided that it’ll hurt way too much, and then he decided that perhaps sleeping pills would do, but then again, it’ll be too obvious. He wasn’t sure of what to do with his life and the darkness that enveloped him was surely mocking him right now for being useless; damn right he was.

But a sudden voice had awoken his soul; it was faint and short but he heard it loud and clear. He walked towards the door and placed his back flush on the wood, before sliding down and finally found himself sitting on the floor with head backed on the door. I love you Onew hyung, please let me help you. He heard the voice again and it stabbed him in the heart.

“Don’t. Please don’t love me” came his reply, tears starting to form in his tired eyes. He closed them and flashback of the dreaded night came into view. He was utterly mad and had beaten the hell out of the vocalist who was only trying to help him. He ruffled his hair out of frustration and shook his head to remove the painful memory. I can’t hyung. I love you. The younger’s voice was soft but stern, Onew can feel the sincerity in those simple words.

“Why?” Onew asked, but no response came. He shouted a bit louder and he felt the other hit his head on the door. Because you are beautiful.He heard it loud and clear. He shook his head even more and tried to forget the words he heard. “I’m not beautiful. I’m ugly.. I’m scarred.” Onew replied but the younger spoke lovingly. But despite your scars, you are beautiful.

That’s it, Onew decided to open the door, the younger came tumbling on the floor as the sudden support disappeared. He gathered himself and faced the older, looking straight into those tired eyes.

“Hyung.” Jonghyun said softly, afraid to cause another hysteria attack of the older. But his eyes went wide as the older closed the distance and locked their lips in a not so perfect kiss. “Don’t love me Jonghyun. I’ll only hurt you.” Onew said after the kiss but Jonghyun shook his head, completely dazed at the beautiful man in front of him. “I can’t do it hyung. I Love you. I’m willing to do everything, accept everything and forget everything for you.” Jonghyun replied and the man in front of him shed tears.

Onew placed his hand on the bruised cheek of the younger as he melted under the stare of those dark brown eyes. He traced the features of the handsome man in front of him and finally nodded; he let himself take in the sweetest kiss the vocalist can offer. “I love you Jinki hyung. Just let me love you.” Jonghyun purred into his ear and the older nodded before embracing the younger and falling asleep; the warm embrace comforting him.

“Just let me love you hyung.” Jonghyun whispered as he gave the older a soft peck on the forehead and closed his eyes as well; It was the most peaceful night Onew had in years.

…

“Jjong.” The voice woke up the vocalist and he smiled at the source of the voice. “You don’t have to love me back hyung. Just let me love you.” Jonghyun replied and Onew sighed and kissed him. “I’m afraid of rejection” Onew confessed and Jonghyun nodded. “You’re beautiful hyung, and no one can reject your charm.” Jonghyun honestly said and it made Onew smile a genuine and placid smile. “Thank you.” Onew said and he let out fresh tears spill from his eyes as he buried his face on the younger’s chest. “Thank you.” He repeated as Jonghyun enveloped him in warmth.

a/n: I don’t know where the storyline went.. argggghhhhh my writing skills are super rusty… help….