'' MOM!''

 

 . . .

 

'' MOM !?''

 

. . .

 

'' Mommmmmmmmmmy~! ''

 

'' Yes, dear? ''

 

Finally! '' Mom, do you remember where I kept those scented fake flowers? I can't find them anywhere in my room. ''

 

'' It's somewhere in one of the cupboards drawers, Debbie. '' Mom was sitting in the dining table reading the newspaper just like every morning.

 

Well ,that helped a lot...hmm... Where could they be? Why do things tend to disappear when you need them the most..?

 

'' Why do you need them all of the sudden? ''

 

'' I'm going to pay Cam a visit later. She likes flowers a lot. '' Two weeks has pass ever since ... I missed her. Period.

 

'' I see. tell her i said hi, okay? I think it's in the white cupboard, bottom left drawer. ''

 

'' Now you're talking. I will~ '' Opened that drawer and poked with my hand far inside the drawer...... A box!

 

'' Thanks mom~ I've found it! '' They still look like how they have looked like when I got them on the first day. Of course they do ,Debbie ,they are fake. What the hell are you thinking about!?

 

I wrapped them up in some decorative paper that I've found in one of the other drawers. That's what I like about my room having more than four cupboards.It's like a treasure chest in here. You will find things that you don't even know you own.  

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                       *      *      *

 

 

I pulled my car into a parking lot and killed the engine dead.

 

I stood in front of the big entrance and stare at the big sign that hung just above the entrance door. 'The Light House' was written across it in cursive. I wondered about my death ,wondering if I would be kept here as well if I didn't manage to earn enough money to shoot my body into the Sun. Back to where everything came from ,fulfilling the cycle of life.

 

Not paying any attention ,I realized that I'm already standing in front of grave stone when I finally ended my train of thoughts.

 

" You've have been greatly missed. But I know you're feeling better now. I know you will be worry about everything ,please don't. '' I let out a short hoarse laugh. '' But God is doing what he know best. We are in greater hands now cause you are watching over us too~ ''

 

My nose turn sour my vision slowly blurred. A defeated laugh escaped my throat. I looked up to the sky. Sigh.

 

'' I'm stuck , Cam. I'm so used to your company. I've relied too much on you. I sensed something big coming in my way and I'm terrified. I've no one I can really talk to about. And only you know what I can almost see. Hah! Guess I can finally call myself a lone wolf now huh? . . . Tao? Nah ,he is busy enough I don't want to trouble him further with my own stupid problems. ''

 

The wind blew. Warmly , it ruffled my hair. Cam...? Is that you?

 

It stopped... I let the silent fill up the atmosphere. Staring into spaces just like how we used to when we had tea together in the late afternoon.

 

The air was dry ,birds chirping are heard but this tiny creatures are nowhere to be seen. My mind went blank and when I came back to reality it had already pass two hours.

 

'' Think I need to get going before anyone do a police report. '' I laughed ,it felt genuine ,great like I suddenly just breathe in cold air.

 

'' I will come again another day. '' I lay down the flowers that I prepared. '' There you go ,something you can keep forever. Oh and my mom said hi. ''

 

I stood up dusting off the dust stuck on my jean shorts. Smiling ,I say ,'' Smell ya later~ '' My habit of saying goodbye.

 

My heart sank again as I walk away from my now comfort zone. Grave yards are not scary ,they are probably the most peaceful place. Maybe you don't think so now ,but when if those time comes you will understand what I'm saying.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                              *     *     *

 

 

 

 

" Hope..." I flinched. Regaining full conscious of reality once again. I realized I was in a Starbuck cafe ,in my hand I was holding my all time favorite -Iced green Tea Latte. His voice was husky in lowered tones. He got a slightly higher pitch than the average ,like those of a white rapper's voice. 

 

I turn to look into his eyes searching for comfort ,my palm was sweaty for no reason but the cold cup slightly numb it.

 

" Thinking about Cam..? " He reached over and took hold of my right hand giving it a secure squeeze. I squeeze my hand in answer.

 

'' I'm okay , but I wondered how Jongdae is doing lately. " He became so quiet after Cam was gone. He still do hang out with us but he doesn't talk to anyone else other than his band mates ,family and every now and then me. He seems to distance himself from every girls he knew. The recoil-stage ,I guess. I hope it doesn't last long or he might go into depression.

 

" He is doing better lately. He started cracking lame jokes again just like he use to. " He rub circles on the back of my hands to soothe me. To my surprise it works. Normally ,my mom would do that too but in recent years it started to lose it's effects. My heart pick up it's speed.

 

" Really!? That is great news! Guess I'm worrying for nothing huh? " I laughed ,relieved. I looked away from his eyes to take a sip of my drink. The sudden coldness send a fierce shiver down my spine. 

 

He starting laughing ,I smiled in embarrassment. His laugh was pure ,innocent. Naive even but it was honest as chiming bells. This is crazy but I would do anything in order to keep him from getting corrupted by this hateful world. It is funny too when he is 6 ft tall and I'm only 5 ft 5'. Try imagining me jumping in front of a gun shot for him. Even I, myself would think that I must be kidding. I must really like him...

 

My phone started ringing. 

 

" Hello~? Mom? Yes?" 

 

" Debbie , just letting you know that you will need to get dinner on your own. I'm going to your Aunt Joan's place for the night. OH and don't forget to pick up Fang from the groomer, okay? "

 

"Okay , I will~ Wait! that means I'm all alone at home tonight? ''

 

" Not really you have Fang. I have to go ,honey. Bye~ Love you. "

 

The line click dead before I can even react. Ahhh mom~ I think I'm going to have a headache...

 

I frowned animatedly at my phone , sometimes you love someone so much but yet there are times you just feel like strangling them. How ironic. Moms...

 

" Your mom is not going to be at home again? " See , even Tao knows my mom. That's how bad she is. And by bad , I meant her very un-adult-like habits.

 

" Yea... Can we have dinner together today? She is going to overnight at my aunt's house. I need to pick up Fang too. "

 

" Sure , I will pick you up at your house at 7~ " He flashed his eyeless smile. The innocence level in it is unbelievable. I gasped a little. Everytime, it's like the first time. I wished time would slow down...

 

" Deal~ " I rosed and he followed too. Walking beside me in smaller strides in order to match my pace. Damn those long legs , this world is not fair.

 

" Deal~ " He replied and wrapped his left arm around my waist. He doesn't drag or lead or pull me towards him. He just put his arm there ,guiding. It sends electric currents throughout my body to my fingertips. Simple action , not a reflex. I never thought it could effect me so much ,as I used to think hugging was only natural when you are a couple but I was wrong. There's a lot more to that. We are not hugging but we are embracing each other. Realizing the flaws ,accepting it and in order to make two piece whole ,two will need to embrace each other. Hold on to each other ,in case if either one decides to fall then there's always the other to embrace us in our falls.  

 

" Smell ya later~ " I stopped in front of my car, smiling.

 

" I will need to bathe before I meet you up then. So maybe then you can rate on a scale of one to ten! " We laughed as we part ways to our cars.

 

" Then I expect good results! " I unlock the door to my car and turned to look at him as he also getting into his car.

 

" Please have mercy! " He pouted as he stop at entering the car midway. 

 

I laughed and proceed getting into the car and started the engine. Looking at him through the car window as his car was parked on my right side. Tao scrunched up his nose for a second in protest then breaking out into a laugh again. I was still amazed that even after being officially together, we could still flirt like we did in the begining. Again I wished time could slow the heck down, why the rush? Geezus...

 

 

Off to the Groomer's saloon to pick up Fang. My Shepard Malamute mix wolfie in other words my silent soulmate.