The room was pitch dark and only the moonlight accompanied her lone self as she gazed into the letter once more…

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To: Kwon Yuri

How do I start this? Well, as far as I know, you are now preparing for the most awaited day of your life. Of our life. We’re getting married tomorrow! I can’t believe how days passed. It was just yesterday when I met you at the gym, training for your debut. It was just like months when I started to get close to you and call you noona. Those were the days when I finally got the courage to confess to you.

I was scared, afraid that you’ll reject me, but I never expected the thing we have now. This relationship. A relationship that I will always treasure. Then, after telling your girls that we’re together now, you visited my dorm and I introduced you to my members. Taemin was probably drooling as he opened the door for you. Jonghyun hyung couldn’t stop looking at you as we all ate together. Kibum kept on saying you have fashion taste. It’s very rare to hear him say those words since, well, I don’t really have any idea since when but he’s a diva after all. Onew hyung kept on splattering his jokes that you find funny. But, I, Choi Minho, was the luckiest guy that time. Wanna know why? Well, it’s all because, every time they kept doing their thing, you’ll be only looking at me, and not them.

 At that time, I was really glad that I chose a girl like you. And in the end, after you left, I had to slap their heads hard for flirting with my girl. Eventually, they found their pairs: Onew with Fany noona, Jonghyun with Sica noona, Kibum with his diva-girl, Yoona, and maknae player Taemin found his Seohyun. And you were still here at my side.

Kwon Yuri, you are the definition of my everything. In my eyes, you are perfect. The love that we shared was so invincible and powerful that we couldn’t wait to tell it in public.

A few days later, a mob stood out of the building we work in, chanting our names and how they wanted our love to fade away from each other. I asked you out on a date that time and swore to pick you up early, but the mob just didn’t want me to pass by. You were the only one inside the building so I went to our secret entrance and knocked on your practice room. You were there, standing while your whole self was concealed in sweat. I didn’t care, actually I was proud to see you in that crazy state. It just showed how hardworking you are that you didn’t even bother to wipe it off.

I approached you with small steps and you ran to me. I stood there with a gentle beam hanging on my mouth, and with open arms, I looped them around your lean waist and puckered up, waiting for you soft lips to give in against mine. You giggled softly and walked passed by me. I paused for a while to stop you but there you were, facing the glass window, observing the people outside. Your tears started to roll down on both of your soft cheeks which I found pinchable. I took hold of your hand and told you to stop crying coz I will never let go of this relationship even if I had to sacrifice my work.

I told you to smile a little for me and you did. We went out of the building with our fingers intertwined. There were camera flashes everywhere and we were running wildly. At last, we found a small wall and we hid there until it was dark. In that exact spot, we shared our very first kiss. I guess I was going insane that time coz I deepened the kiss. After a few moments, we heard murmurs and we looked for those people in charge of it. Then we saw two familiar faces. The four of us froze as we eyed each other. You recognized them and it turned out to be Big Bang’s TOP and 2ne1’s Bom. Her arm was linked on his so we guessed that they’re dating too. All of us walked around the neighborhood and shared some stories.

It was a surprise when they told us that they were dating for three years. One year before their debut and the two years up to the present, they still had their special secret unrevealed. It was kind of disappointing for me that all of the world has heard our relationship even though we’ve just been seeing each other for about two months or so that time. But, I didn’t say I was shameful of it. My heart was proud that the world knows how much I love you. Since they were older than us, they gave us advices. Seunghyun hyung told me that if the dating rumors have been publicized, there will be no more escape to it so we just had to go with the flow. Bom noona told you to be careful and recommended you to not look at anti-fan cafés coz that will only hurt you more. It seems like they have experienced those things already so we just nodded our heads and carried on with our business.

A few years later, we were still in this crazy game called love. Everyone had finally accepted the fact that we both had the same feelings for each other and as our bond grew stronger and deeper, I gathered up my courage once again and proposed to you. I couldn’t stop smiling when you said yes. It felt so right to slip that diamond-studded, golden ring which you still wear right at this very moment. The feeling was so right and the world that we’re both facing seemed to glow brighter and brighter as we pulled each other in a tight embrace. My heart jumped for joy and I couldn’t contain my happiness so I kissed you.

That night, we made love to each other and vowed to never leave each one’s side. We made our decision public once again and for the last three months, we’ve been preparing for our marriage. We planned to have two children when we get married and if one is a boy, we’ll name him Hyun Ki, and if the other one is a girl, we’ll name her Hyun Mi. We talked on where we’ll get our house and you said it was better living in the country where it’s quiet. I agreed with you and we did a lot more conversations on different matters. Then, there was that day. I asked you out on another date. It was our last date before we got married.

I just got out of the hospital and they said I was diagnosed with an unknown disease. They couldn’t figure out what was it but they know that my time in this world is limited now that this occurred to me. I couldn’t tell you this. I was scared, once again, so I decided to keep shut. I wrapped my arms around you, leaving my silent tears to fall and causing wet stains on your shoulder. I breathed the scent from your hair. It smelt like apples. You must be using the imported shampoo I gave you during SHINee’s last trip to Europe. You pulled back once you heard my sniffles and asked what’s the matter with me. I told you that I was just happy that we’re finally getting married. After our meeting, it was just weeks until our special day. And as time passed by, my condition was getting worse and worse and yet no one still haven’t had a clue about it.

By the time you’re reading this letter, I went away already. It must be three days from now since it happened. But Yuri-ah, don’t follow me yet. Not now. Not tomorrow. Let fate decide when we’ll meet again. I’m too far from you Yuri and I miss you. I will always miss you. I’m sorry that I broke our promise. I’m sorry that I had to die like this. But please, don’t cry. You know I hate it when you cry. I guess I wasn’t just the person for you. I’m sorry if I couldn’t hold my heart back then which now caused you much painfulness. Do me a favor: Move on and find the right guy for you. The guy that will not die before your wedding, mkay? Don’t worry, I’ll still be by your side, protecting you, observing you, and being with you but only in the form of a spirit. You won’t see me, but you’ll feel me. I will make sure you eat every day and have fun. I love you. I always have, and I always will. I love you, Kwon Yuri.

--Choi Minho.

PS: My hand hurts after I wrote this too you. It’s pretty long, huh? I love you! I love you! And this will be my last words, I love you.

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As she eyed the wedding dress rested on the bed, she drowned herself in tears and thought of him ‘til morning.

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--AJ.