I'm sorry, Please come back to me. ~ONESHOT~
Mianhe
A/N: EVRYTHING WILL BE ON SUNGMIN/TEDDY's POV~!!
Mianhe..
"Stop!! Would you please stop it??" Noona shouted at me.. She looked at me, irritated.. She pushed me away.. I stood frozen.. Not knowing what to do.. What have I done? Is she tired of our relationship? Is she tired of me??
'Mianhe..
For always calling you..
For always asking what are you doing..
For always being sensitive..
For letting you know that without you I can't live..
For always showing my love to you..
For always clinging unto you..
Noona.. Mian.. Mianhe.. For loving you so much..'
~<3~
It hurts.. So much.. It hurts.. What did I do? What did I do for her to get tired of me? Is it because I always try to be by her side? Is because I always do my best just to have some time with her? Is it because I'm trying to hard? Was it too much? Was my love too much for her that she always felt like drowning? Has she always felt like suffocating when she's with me? But what can I do?? I love her.. I really do..
~<3~
I looked up to the dark sky.. Not knowing what to do.. Not knowing what to think.. Mind's too clouded to think.. Heart's too broken to beat..
'Why?'
The same question kept on repeating on my mind.. Trying to find an answer in the depts of my soul but the holder of the answer can't be found anywhere anymore.. She's gone.. She left me.. Risa left me..
The only girl I've ever loved.. The only one I've ever cared for.. The reason of my life.. The reason why I keep on living this ed up life of mine..
My cellphone's been ringing for while now.. Her favorite love song kept on replaying as the caller doesn't seem to have any intention of leaving me alone.. I reached for it on my pocket and answered without looking at who it was.. With my eyes focused on the lights of the city, I listened as the caller started talking..
"YAH! Where the hell are you~!?? Listen, I've heard what happened between you and Risa.. Don't do anything foolish. I know how much you love her but please.. Tell me where you are right now.. We're really worried.." Changmin hyung ranted.
"Han River.."
~<3~
Changmin hyung arrived a few minutes after he called with a case of beers and a few snacks.. He told me that he'll let me drink just this one time because I'm Heart-Broken..
As Hyung handed me an opened bottle of soju, I realized I don't even have the strength to drink.. I just kept on staring at it.. Feeling it's coldness on my hands.. Tracing the droplets of water outside its container.. I heard Hyung drew a heavy sigh, forcing me to look up..
"Do you want to talk?" Hyung asked me..
My throat clogged up as I tried to talk.. A pitiful sob and strangled gasp escaped my lips.. My vision slowly blurring.. Lips trembling, quievering... My breathing became uneven.. Eyes starting to swell.. And even before I realized it.. I was already crying.. Sobbing like a child.. Who got abandoned.. A child who got abandoned by his own mother.. After telling him that he wasn't needed anymore.. After telling him how much of a burden he is to her.. After cutting all the ties of her from him..
From the corners of my tearing eyes, I saw Changmin Hyung stand up for a minute then came back.. Handing me my favorite pillow.. A Mickey Mouse Pillow..
It was the same pillow I cried on every time I missed her.. Every time I cried after hearing her say that she's busy and can't meet up with me.. The same pillow I cried on whenever I felt and realize that I'm not worthy of her.. The same pillow that gave me comfort and support every time everything around me simply .. The same pillow Risa gave to me last Christmas..
I stared at it for a few seconds, not knowing whether to grab it and cry on it like always.. Or to grab and throw it away with my whole heart..
"It's okay.. Old Habits are difficult to break.. Cry on it like you always do.. When you're done, we'll talk about what you're going to do to get Risa back.." I looked up to Hyung and accepted the pillow.. Hugging it against my chest as I listened to him..
"I know how much you love her.. So I am not going to suggest that you forget her.. I also know how much she loves you... So we're going to help both of you get over this okay?" Changmin hyung said, tapping my shoulder..
"We?"
"All the girls already know what happened.. So as a good boyfriend and the only guy with the girls at that time, I volunteered to go to you and sort of comfort you.. But I'm not really good to this.. Actually, putting myself in your shoes, I don't really have any idea on what to do if ever Jenby would want to break up with me.."
"Neither have I.." Jaejoong hyung suddenly popped out of no where and sat beside Changmin hyung..
"Jae Hyung.. I thought you have a photoshoot?" Changmin hyung asked, handing Jae hyung another bottle of Soju..
"Already finished it.. Jamie asked me to check up on the two of you. Jenby's a bit worried since you're not answering your phone, Changmin.." Jae hyung said as he started drinking..
"AHh!! I forgot it inside the car! Jenby's gonna kill me!" I smiled a bit as Changmin hyung got up and ran to get his phone, leaving me with Jaejoong Hyung..
"You're not drinking?" Jaejoong hyung asked which I answered with a little nod..
"The first lover's quarrel is always the most painful neh??" Jae Hyung asked me.. Flashbacks of the unwanted event started to replay themselves on my mind again.. I bowed my head, trying to hide my tears..
"It's okay to cry.. I cried and wasted myself on alcohol for a week when Jamie and I had our first quarrel.. It was really hard back then.. I thought we were really going to break up.. Thank God, she loves me so much.." Jae hyung said, looking at the river.. His eyes spoke of happiness and gratefulness.. Unable to find my voice, I kept my lips shut and listened to Jae hyung..
"I don't know what's gotten into me that time.. Being a model, I've always been surrounded by females.. I've never thought so much about it but that night when I came home and saw her crying.. Telling me, no.. Asking and begging me to stop modelling.. I.. I just snapped.. I got angry then shouted at her and broke up with her without thinking.." Hyung heaved a heavy sigh, he obviously don't want the same thing happen again..
"When I thought everything was gonna be alright, that was the time I felt the consequences of my sudden decision.. When I came home to an empty house.. When I called her phone and got sent to voicemail always.. When I woke up with nobody beside me.. When I ate breakfast alone.. When I walked out of the house and heard no one say 'Take care, I Love you!' or 'Don't be late! JenMin's gonna come over tonight~!'.. That was the time I realized, My Life will never be the same.. My life will never ever be complete without Jamie.. That was the time I realized just how much I really love her.. She pretty much became my life.." Jaejoong hyung finished his story just in time as Changmin hyung came back..
"Have you ever had a quarrel with Jenby, Changmin?" Jaejoong hyung asked..
"Of course!! That girl's crazy! We're always quarreling~! Whether it's about what food should we eat or what clothes should we both wear.. Or whose house are we gonna crash in.. Or which arcade to go to and play.. Which game to play.. Who gets to eat the last piece of the pizza.. Jenby and I always fight.. We always quarrel even at the smallest things.. Even at the most trivial things.. But I never felt her take her eyes off me.. I never felt her put her attention to other people when I'm around.. I always felt how much she really does love me.. She's crazy.. But I love her.. Just as much as she loves me.." Changmin hyung narrated with a happy smile on his face..
I envied that look.. I envied them.. I envied my hyungs for having the love of their life and being able to keep them as theirs.. Tears started to fall again..
"M-mianhe.. Hyungs.. I'm just.." I tried to apologize to them but they just shook their head as Changmin hyung handed me the tissue box and Jaejoong hyung tapped my shoulder..
"It's okay.. What you're facing right now is really a difficult phase.. It's okay to feel sad.. But there's something I wanna know, Sungmin/Teddy.." Jaejoong hyung asked me..
"Can you do anything for Risa?" Jaejoong hyung asked..
"Will you do anything just to get her back?" Changmin hyung asked..
"A-anything, hyungs.. I-I'll do anything.. Just to have her back.. I'll change myself! I won't call her always! I won't ask for dates every week! I won't send texts anymore! I'll do anything... If.. If it means staying by her side.. Then I'm willing to change.. I'm willing to change.." I told them, determination evident on my eyes..
"Well then.. Let's start with you not contacting her for a whole week.. Can you do that?" Jaejoong hyung asked as he stood up with Changmin hyung..
"W-w-w-w-what???!! A w-w-w-w-eeekk???? Hyung!! T-that's too long!! I can't!" Standing up also..
"Where's your cellphone?" Changmin hyung asked me..
~<3~
It's been 3 days after Changmin Hyung and Jaejoong hyung told me not to contact Risa and had my phone confiscated too.. Worse, they told my Mom about the break-up and she was a bit more upset about it than I am.. I received a lot of 'What have you been doing ha?', 'Risa's a really good girl, why are you letting her slip off of your hands?!', 'If you don't get her back, no allowance for a month!'. As much as I would have loved that my Mom loves Risa more than she ever loved me, it was taking a toll on me. I couldn't use the family phone, No internet connection for me either.. The hyungs made sure that I won't have any means to contact Risa. And they made absolutely sure that I won't be able to go to her with my Mom guarding the house.
I slumped back on my bed and muffled my face on my pillow. The same thoughts running through my head as I heaved a heavy sigh.
'What is she doing right now?'
'Does she miss me?'
'I wonder, how's she.'
'Is she thinking about me too?'
I was abruptly shoved away from my thinking when Changmin hyung suddenly barged in my room.
"GET UP. Shower. Put this on. And get downstairs in 10 Minutes. NOW." He commanded me as he shoved some kind of suit to my awaiting hands..
"H-huh? Hyung.. I.. What?" And before I realzed what happened, he already left me..
"10 MINUTES~!!" I heard a howl and started working on myself.
When I got down, I was surprised to see Heechul hyung, my Mom, Changmin hyung and a lot of Salon paraphernalia around the living room. I turned to run back to my room realizing what is bound to happen but my Mom painfully caught my ear.
~<3~
It took me a good five minutes in the car to calm down before Changmin hyung practically kicked me out of his car. He explained what will happen and what was the plan. The party was held by a famous perfume product that Jaejoong hyung recently advertised. Risa and Jamie had advertised the same perfume not so long ago for the female mob. The plan is for me to act normal, not clingy, not fidgetty, not talkative but cool, collected and supportive while I Risa all through out the evening.
'NEVER leave her side. It's not you being clingy.. It's YOU being protective and YOU being a gentleman. Help her anyway you can. We're not going to be with the two of you all night, we're bound to disperse and get along with the crowd. When you feel like she doesn't like who she's talking to, take the stand and pull her away from the conversation gently without provoking the other party.'
I remember Jaejoong hyung tell me while I tried to fidget with the hem of my suit.
'It's okay not to talk.. As long as you are by her side.. She'll talk when she wants.. You don't have to force yourself talking about useless and pointeless topics when she's not clearly interested. The point, Don't Talk until she DOES.'
Changmin hyung reminded me, I tried to swallow the lump on my throat as I watched people entering the lobby..
'When assisting her, DO NOT.. I repeat DO NOT touch her by her waist.. If you get to close to the and act innocent, she'll roll her eyes at you and leave you that instant. Not too high also, since the strap of the bra for women are sensitive too. Either way, it's safer to hold her hand or her elbows when assisting her.. That way, you won't get yourself in trouble and you'll get a few points for acting a little bit prince-like..'
I inhaled deep as I saw some familiar girls walked in. They waved at me when they recognized me but did not attempt to get close. I knew the hyungs might have told them about the plan..
'SMILE at her, every time she turns to look at you. Even though she's flirting with some guy, you can glare at the guy as much as you want but when she makes a move to look at you, smile.. Smile like you're unaffected.. Smile like you didn't care.. Smile even if she's flirting with other men.. Do Not show her that possessive side of yours.. And don't deny it, I've seen how you got possessive around Risa. It's cute and all but I don't think Risa would like you stomping your foot like a little kid here in the party..'
I cringed at the thought of what Jaejoong hyung told me.. It must be one of the reasons why Risa decided to leave me. Because I'm childish.. I'm unreasonable.. I'm.. I'm not worthy of her..
And just as my thoughts were filled by her, I looked up as the girl that held my heart since the time I met her entered the lobby. I was again astonished.. The way her curvy long hair framed her beautiful face. That long black shining dress that reached up to her toes made sure that she looked elegant and y at the same time, sliding all the right curves.. Her somewhat tired eyes that crinkled every time a camera flashes.. Her smile that seemed a little bit forced..
'And most of all, NEVER LEAVE YOUR EYES OFF HER.. It doesn't matter if you don't care what's happening around you.. Your whole attention must be focused on her.. ONLY on her.. Remember all the things she says and say something smart once in a while.. She's your TOP priority.'
I huffed a few more breathes before barging in the bunch of photographers and media to get to my Princess.. My queen..
~Risa's POV~
I stood motionless as flickers of camera flashed continued to be heard in front of me. A fake smile plastered on my face as I tried to please the media.I don't even remember how Jamie and Jenby got me to attend this party when I should be at my house, mopping around with my cute little adorable boy's absence.. Jenby and Jamie were right about the regretting part. I couldn't have regretted anything I've ever done in my entire life than breaking up with my little cute clingy Sungminnie/Teddy..
It's only been 3 days since the break up but it was clear with the circles under my eyes that the break-up's really taking a toll on me. Jenby wasn't even a bit surprised when she came to my apartment this morning and saw my ref with nothing but water. Jaejoong had told me that it was the same for him when he first tried to break up with Jamie. It was horrible he said.. Just like how I felt. To realize the need of a certain person in your life.. No matter how insignificant they seemed the last time you saw them.. He said the time that passed while he longed for Jamie to come back home was the most difficult time because he kept remembering everything that Jamie had done for him.. Just like how I remember everything Sungmin/Teddy had done for me..
I remembered how often he'd call me just to check up on me..
I remember how he'll come by just to put some stock inside my refrigerator.
I remember how he'd beg me for dates.
I remember how he sniffed to stiffle his cry through the phone whenever I rejected him.
I remember how he whispered 'I love you' every night.
I remembered how I was barely there for him when he's always been there for me.
I guess it was a bit too late for me to realize that He really wasn't the one at fault why everything seems not to be working.. It my point of view at least. It was me.. He was trying so hard.. And I'm just there. Taking advantage of him.. Of his sweetness.. Of his Love.. I felt guilty for abusing him like that and wondered if ever he'll fogive me.. He hasn't called me for awhile to my disappointment. No SMS. No Emails. No letters.. No nothing.. Not a single word. After I left him that night.
I released another sigh when I heard somebody chuckle softly in front of me. With me daydreaming, I didn't notice the strange guy who stood in front of me right now. It took me awhile before my heart fazed and my eyes blinked in recognition. It was my Sungmin/Teddy.. My Prince.. My Love..
But somehow, he felt different.. I didn't receive the childish smile, not the cute giggle but a gorgeous smile and the elbow he offered for me to take. I felt enchanted as I hooked my arm around his biscep. The feel.. The aura of this Sungmin/Teddy seemed more.. Mature.. But lovely at the same time.
I watched at how the media gave a way for us when he maneuvered us out of the entrance of the lobby and towards our friends..
"Well.. Well.. Well.. What do we have here?? Isn't it the most beautiful girl in town, Miss Risa Ogawa?? I've heard that you are now very much available.. Though I'm wondering what's a boytoy like him doing with a goddess like you.." I tried not to slap Rain hard when he eyed Sungmin/Teddy up and down like that. I was pretty sure that Sungmin/Teddy might be scowling now at the moment but I was surprised to see him composed and smiling..
"My name is Lee Sungmin/Teddy Mallari Jr. I'm not pretty sure if I'm 'BoyToy' material but I am more pleasured to my lovely goddess, Miss Risa Ogawa, around the party. It's nice meeting you, Mr. Rain. But if you'll excuse us.." I jaw literally dropped on the floor with what he just said.. I was expecting a bit.
'YAH! My RISA's Not available anymore!! SHE's MINE!' with all the stomp of the foot and the glare and the pout..
But what I got to witness was.. something.. Something.. really cool.. I let him assist my way, gracefully while waving and saying hellos around the room until we were able to reach where our friends were..
"Good to see you together again.."
~<3~
It was a wonderful night. Sungmin/Teddy had surprised me more than one time all night. Although he didn't act like the adorable childish him, I pretty much like a mature him that didn't get jealous or acted like some kid. He was protective of me, Yes. But that was the kind where you feel loved and secured actually.. Not annoyed or embarrassed..
Though...
I really missed how he would pout at me.. How he would stomp his feet around me.. How he would claim at everybody that I was his in a very childish way..
Before I knew it, my tears were flowing already..
I like the Mature Sungmin/Teddy..
But it's not the Sungmin/Teddy that I fell in love with..
Seeing my tears, he quickly asked me what's wrong.. The mature tone and the gentle hush scared me a little, might I be a little to late to get my cute adorable childish annoying little Sungmin/Teddy?
~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~
Boy: Seeing her tears, I can't take it..
Girl: He's worried, I know.
Boy: Was I too much? Doesn't she like it? I changed myself for her.. Doesn't she like it? The new me?
Girl: I want him back.. I need him back.. Not some sort of imaginative guy, he created.. I needed the REAL him.. I Love him..
Boy: What have I done? Someone, please tell me what's in her mind! I'm not Edward Cullen and I can't read her mind! I'm panicking here!
Girl: I want to ask him to change back.. To return to the way he was before..
Boy: Is she mad at me? Is she breaking up with me all over again? Was all my hard work gone to waste?
~SILENCE~
Boy: 'Please, say something.. I'm going insane here.. Why are you crying?' Oh Please God, let her give me another chance..
Girl: 'I love you.. Please don't change.. I love who you really are...'
~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~ ~<3~
Everybody's going to come over tonight. Mom helped me cook dinner and told me that she'll stay at her friend's house so that we can enjoy ourselves. JenMin were the first one to arrive. Always.. Not really a surprise anymore. And the huge bags of junk foods they bought wasn't really much of a surprise anymore for the sleepover. It's somehow, JenMin's way of saying 'Thank you for letting us crash in every night'.
"RISA POT~!! Changmin and I are gonna cuddle on the couch, okay??!!!" I heard Jenby shout and chuckled a little still preparing for the meals in the kitchen..
"YAH!! Don't you even think about you!! You!! YOU! PDA LOVER! The Couch will be mine and Sungmin/Teddy's!!" I heard Risa stomp her foot and get down from the stairs..
"Fine! Fine! The couch is yours after Sungmin/Teddy finishes his cooking.. But while he's not done yet, the couch is Mine's~!" After that, I practically counted the seconds before Risa opened the door to the kitchen and slammed it close.
"No need to be so agitated with JenMin.. You know they're only trying to get on your nerves.." I reminded her while I took a taste of one of the meals on the stove.
"I know.. But.. *pout Gosh.. Why am I the one really childish now? You should be the one stomping his foot and whining all around about that freaking couch, Sungmin/Teddy.. You love that couch.." Risa whined, I smiled a little as I felt her wrap her arms around my torso.. I turned around gently and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, my arms wrapping automatically around her..
"Guess the break-up knocked some logic in me.." I murmured to her which got answered with a whine..
"I shouldn't have broken up with you if I knew you're going to mature so much.." Risa said as she pouted..
"Hey.. I'm still your cute, little, loving, adorable, childish Sungmin/Teddy, Okay?? With some limitations on, yes.. But I'm still pretty much the same.." I assured her, swiping that strand of hair that seemed to have lost its way on her forehead..
"I still liked it when you acted whiny and bratty and cutely around me.." She continued to complain..
"I can do that.." I smiled to her and her eyes lit immediately..
"When they're gone.." She agreed..
"When they're gone.." I agreed too..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```
A/N: JUST LIke what I said.. Don't Kill Me.. Please.. Changmin needs me.. Really..
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