I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

-Thousand Years, Christina Perri

remember me

Sehun couldn't understand why Chanyeol changed.

Sure, he understood that Baekhyun was special to the guy, but why did the boy's disappearance affect him so? Gone was the dorky tall idiot he had grown to adore, replaced by a shell of a person who only showed the slightest emotion when it was 11:27PM in the human world. He'd watch as Chanyeol took flight, disappearing into the huge cloud up above and only returning at what Sehun assumed to be sunrise, just after he and the others have woken up.

Sehun would watch wordlessly as Kyungsoo conversed in hushed whispers with a very sad looking Chanyeol. Over time, Chanyeol went over to Baekhyun less frequently. Curious, Sehun approached him one day, and the look on Chanyeol's face as he answered him plucked something in him, which he realized later on was pity and heartache for a dear friend.

"Why aren't you going over to the human world as much as before?"

"It hurts seeing him, Sehun."

"Baekhyun? You always see him. What happened?"

"He's...he's with someone now. He's happy."

Sehun knew it was painful for Chanyeol, but he couldn't understand why.

*

"Yifan, Zitao's here. Will you just please listen to the guy? He's always out there messing up the deck. Have mercy on me and Minseok. We get tired of cleaning, too."

Lu Han started kicking on Yifan's door, and after a few loud kicks (which almost threw the door off its hinge), a frazzled Yifan came out, glared at Lu Han, then proceeded out to the deck. Lu Han stuck a tongue out at him before proceeding to Yifan's cabin, rag and broom in hand. He looked around with disdain before hurling the rag at the floor, huffing. Really, would it kill Yifan to clean?

Some people on Neverland thought that their pirate crew was a scary group of people who ate children for breakfast, but the truth was, they didn't really do anything. They might go after a few treasures here and there when boredom hit, but really, all they did was man the sea and save any lost people. So far, during Lu Han's stay, he hasn't had the pleasure of saving someone yet.

Setting to work, he started rubbing the floors clean, faintly hearing Minseok as he let out a curse from the kitchen below. Lu Han laughed, knowing full well that Minseok must have dropped a pan on his foot. Too caught up in making fun of his friend's demise, he didn't notice himself backing away too much towards Yifan's table. It was all too late when he knocked a little treasure chest with his elbow, the contents spilling.

"Ah, . Would it kill you to lock your , Yifan?!" Lu Han screeched, and he heard his captain reply, but he was too busy staring at something on the floor to understand him.

A small, round locket, already rusty and worn out, was on the floor amidst the mess from the treasure chest. It was open, and two faces smiled up at him. Picking it up, his eyes remained wide akin to a deer caught in headlights. He brushed his finger on the glass covering the pictures. The glass was cracked and distorted the pictures a little, but Lu Han would know if he saw himself somewhere.

"This is me...?" He breathed out to no one in particular, touching his own hair consciously.

The Lu Han in the picture didn't have pink hair like him. The Lu Han in the picture had curly auburn hair, and he was dressed in a pretty black dress suit. He had a shy smile on his face. Lu Han's gaze then travelled to the other picture, where another picture of a boy was placed. This boy, Lu Han noted, was handsome. He had chocolate brown hair swept to the side, and a mischievous but kind smirk twisted his lips. This boy looked younger than him, and Lu Han felt his body move on its own. His fingers ran along the boy's picture, and he suddenly felt empty.

"Lu Han? Are you alright?"

Lu Han whipped around to see Minseok standing by the doorway, bowls of food in his hands. He gestured to them, and shrugged.

"I thought you were done so I brought our food up, but I guess Yifan was extra messy this...time..." Minseok trailed off, and Lu Han looked at him curiously.

"What's wrong, Baozi?"

"Lu...why are you crying?"

Lu Han's hands flew up to his face, and indeed they were damp. The locket dropped to the ground with a thud. He looked down at the two faces smiling at him, and he couldn't help but imagine how happy those two boys must have been to be able to give off such perfect smiles.

*

Sehun wandered aimlessly along the beach, muttering under his breath and cursing Jongin's whole being. He had gone out with the tanned boy to get supplies under Kyungsoo's orders when the other boy bailed on him, going to the mermaids instead. Not wanting to get his head cut off by Kyungsoo's cleaver, he decided to continue on until he realized he had no idea where he was.

"Jongin, I will kill you with my own hands!" Sehun huffed, and the sound of twigs cracking behind him caught his attention, making him whip around.

"Calm down, no need to get so violent. Are you lost?"

Sehun was stunned. A boy with cotton candy pink hair made his way to him, a cheeky grin on his face as he eyed Sehun with amusement. Sehun could only open and close his mouth like a fish, much to the other boy's amusement.

"I'm Lu Han. I'll lead you out. It's not safe to wander around here." Lu Han started, and Sehun nodded.

"I'm Sehun..."

"Aww, what a cute lisp! Nice to meet you, Sehun. Have we met before?"

"I...I'm not sure."

"You just look familiar is all. Come on, take my hand. This is the enchanted forest, you might get lost."

Lu Han grabbed Sehun's hand gently and lead him out of the forest safely. Sehun never let go of Lu Han's hand, not understanding the weird feeling in his chest. He felt like throwing up in a good way. Lu Han finally let go of him and pointed at a dirt path up ahead.

"Take that path, Sehun, and you'll be back where you started with your friend. Keep safe!" Lu Han skipped back only to be stopped by Sehun grabbing onto his wrist.

"W-wait, what about you?"

"Huh?"

"Won't you get lost in there?"

"Ah. Don't worry, I know my way around here. I need to find my friend. He's probably freaking out right now. See you!"

Lu Han shook his hand free and ran back, disappearing into the thick foliage. Sehun didn't understand, but something was wrong with him. His heart was beating like crazy, and he couldn't understand why.

Later that night, he dreams of Lu Han, but it's not Lu Han. This Lu Han has curly auburn hair, and he's not smiling. He's crying, reaching out to Sehun as the latter fell back from the deck of a large ship. The last thing he saw was the not-Lu Han crying, his broken scream of 'Sehun, no!' slicing through the air and jolting him awake.

*

"You met Lu Han?"

Sehun nodded, stealing Jongin's chicken and focusing his attention on the most sane member of his little group. Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen again, and Junmyeon was quietly eating. Jongin glared at Sehun, and Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before turning back to Sehun.

"He's nice. Lu Han." Sehun commented, and Kyungsoo nodded a little too solemnly.

"He is, isn't he?" Kyungsoo muttered quietly.

"Yeah. He helped me so I wouldn't get lost. Unlike somebody here who's too busy flirting with fishes."

"Mermaids. Not fishes."

"And you're human, but you're also an ape." Sehun chided in, earning a chicken leg slap from Jongin.

"Rude!"

"Disgusting!"

"Calm the down, you two! One more chicken leg slapping and I will hurl this table at your faces." Kyungsoo cut in, shutting the two up.

"Sorry. By the way, do you know where I can find Lu Han?"

Junmyeon accidentally dropped his fork, and he looked up at Sehun in alarm. He exchanged looks with Kyungsoo, and the latter shrugged.

"Why do you want to know?" Junmyeon asked carefully, and Sehun grinned.

"I just want to talk to him. I feel like we've met already, and I want to be friends with him."

"...Sehun, no." Junmyeon muttered, and Sehun frowned.

"Why not? He just wants to make friends." Jongin was the one who interjected, and Sehun nodded.

"No. You'll just hurt yourself." The eldest of the group said, and Kyungsoo remained quiet.

"Making friends won't hurt me. What are you talking about, hyung?"

"Sehun, just stop. Please."

Jumyeon cut the conversation there as he pushed himself off his seat, ignoring Sehun's protests. He headed out of the tree house, leaving the three looking dumbfounded. Sehun turned to Kyungsoo.

"You know something, don't you, hyung?" Sehun asked, and Kyungsoo refused to meet his eyes.

"Kyungsoo, what happened with Jummyeon?" Jongin asked, and Kyungsoo sighed.

"He means good, Sehun. Please understand him."

"But I don't get it. What does that have anything to do with Lu Han?"

"There are things in this world, Sehunnie, that are best left unknown. They're kept from you for a good reason."

*

Sehun was still annoyed at how Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were hiding things from him. He had run out of the tree house and onto the nearest beach. He dug his toes on the sand, a pout on his face when a familiar voice rang out from behind him. He turned around, and he found himself smiling.

There he was, adorable pink hair and cheeky grin still glued on his face. In his arms was a box full of fruits, and walking alongside him was a slightly muscular boy with chubby cheeks. Sehun waved his hands as they got nearer, and smiled wider when Lu Han looked at him.

"Hi, Lu Han! I've been looking for you!" Sehun chirped excitedly.

However, Lu Han only looked at him strangely, before shrugging. Shifting the weight of the box on one hand, he covered his eyes from the sun and looked at Sehun.

"Sorry. Do I know you?"

Sehun just looked blankly at him, his chest feeling heavy at Lu Han's words.

*

"I mean, I don't get it. Why doesn't he remember me? Jongin, talk to meee."

Sehun nudged Jongin's face with his foot which earned him a pillow to the face. Grumbling, he shoved the pillow away and glared at his useless friend. Jongin sighed in defeat, running his hand through his hair before turning to Sehun.

"Look, man, no matter how much you ing shove your stinky foot on my face, that Lu Han dude won't remember you. I honestly don't understand how he'd forget an ugly face like yours, especially with that gay hair of yours." Jongin admitted, blinking innocently at Sehun before proceeding to run for his life.

"Yeah, screw you, too." Sehun grumbled before standing up and leaving the tree house.

Walking around, he found himself by the river near their tree house. He crouched down on the edge and sulked, throwing pebbles into the water and mumbling to himself.

"Hey, stop that, rainbow boy."

Sehun looked up from the water to see Zitao glaring at him, silently challenging him to throw another rock. Sehun huffed before letting go of the pebble.

"Sorry." He muttered, and Zitao cocked an eyebrow at him.

"And what's got rainbow boy sad?"

Sehun looked at him dejectedly before settling down on the ground, folding his legs underneath him and pouting. Zitao found this behaviour unusual and curiously, he approached Sehun, sitting closer to him and listening. Before Sehun could talk, though, Lu Han barged out of the thick foliage on the other side of the river looking frazzled and panicky. Sehun jolted up, and Zitao followed looking at Lu Han curiously.

"Zitao! Help me! Yifan's after me!" Lu Han expertly hopped over the stone steps in the river and promptly hid behind Zitao.

"Yifan? What the hell did you do?"

"I, well, uh, doodled on his sketchbook. He flipped." Lu Han mumbled, cowering as Yifan soon followed with Xiumin trying to calm him down.

"Zitao, give me back that kid. I am going to doodle on his face." Yifan threatened, and Zitao rolled his eyes as Lu Han grabbed onto him tighter.

"Sure. Only if you talk to me in peace. And you better listen now." Zitao offered, making the captain groan in frustration.

"Fiiiine-- oh, Sehun?" Yifan turned his gaze to the said boy, who only nodded in response.

"Ooh, it's that guy from the other day." Xiumin commented, and Yifan looked at him.

"The other day? Why, what happened? I remember you and Lu Han going to get supplies."

"Well, yeah, we saw him-- Sehun, was it?-- and he seemed like he knew Lu Han, but Lu didn't."

Lu Han finally peeked out from behind Zitao, eyes darting back and forth between Sehun, Yifan and Xiumin. He cleared his throat before pointing at Xiumin.

"Liar." He muttered, and Xiumin had the decency to look offended.

"Well, I am offended. I'm just telling Duizhang what happened the other day!"

"I know, and you're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"We didn't meet this guy. I don't even know him!"

"Yeah, we did! We met him!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

As Lu Han and Xiumin continued bickering over whether they actually met Sehun or not, Yifan and Zitao, just like Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, exchanged knowing looks between them. Sehun didn't fail on noticing, so as soon as Lu Han detached himself from Zitao, he grabbed the taller boy's wrist and pulled him a few feet away. Soon enough, Yifan was standing next to Zitao, looking at Sehun.

"You guys know something. What's going on? Even Kyungsoo and Junmyeon-hyung are acting weird." Sehun frowned at the two, folding his arms over his chest.

"...if they didn't tell you, then we're not in the place to do that." Yifan answered, and Sehun scoffed.

"Xiumin's telling the truth. We met the other day, and I met Lu Han even before that."

"I know."

At that, Sehun cocked an eyebrow at Zitao who finally spoke up.

"Then..."

"Just let them argue over this. Forget about Lu Han, Sehun." Yifan adviced before turning away, only to be held back by Sehun's tight grip on his arm.

"Why?"

"...there are things best left unknown."

"Don't go Kyungsoo on me now."

"He said that, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did."

"We said it for a reason. Now stop digging around, Sehun."

*

That night, Sehun dreamt.

This time, though, Sehun could see himself, too. He had an aerial view of the things happening around his physical body. There was the not-Lu Han from his previous dream drenched from head to toe, crying and kneeling beside his pale and not-so-alive looking body. Sehun's hair was dark brown, and his clothes were wet, too, and they were on the beachside that was littered with garbage brought only by a shipwreck. Sehun pieced two and two together to realize that him and this not-Lu Han had been aboard the said ship.

"Sehun, wake up. Wake up, please..."

Sehun's view in his dream zoomed in a little, enough to hear Lu Han's words clearly.

"Sehunnie, wake up. You can't die. Please, I need you. W-who's going to take c-care of me now...? Sehunnie...open your eyes..." Lu Han lightly slapped Sehun's cheeks, but he remained unmoving.

Dream-Sehun looked around, and realized they were on Neverland. Far in the distance, he saw five figures running over to the couple. Wordlessly, dream-Sehun watched as Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Junmyeon, Yifan and Zitao appeared, looking breathless and tired.

"W-we're too late..." Kyungsoo muttered, catching Lu Han's attention.

"W-who are you people?! Are you going to eat us?! D-don't touch my S-Sehunnie!"

It was Chanyeol who shook his head and boldly stepped forward. Lu Han flinched in panic, but Chanyeol was quick. He patted Lu Han's head and knelt down next to Sehun's body.

"...hey, man, wake up." He said, tapping Sehun on the cheek.

"D-don't touch him...!" Lu Han squeaked, and Chanyeol shook his head.

"He's dead."

Lu Han was stunned into silence as the words, after having been said out loud, sank into his brain. Gripping the cold and clammy hands of Sehun, Lu Han cried silently.

"But...Neverland can do something about that."

Lu Han's head snapped up, staring at Chanyeol disbelievingly.

"You can help Sehun?" He whispered, and Chanyeol shrugged. Behind Lu Han, Kyungsoo shook his head sadly.

"Not me. Neverland will. This place hates death."

"Neverland...?"

"This place. Do you want to help Sehun?"

"I do! Of course, I do!" Lu Han piped up, wiping the tears with one of his sleeves (his other hand never letting go of Sehun's).

"Then forget about Sehun."

Lu Han frowned, his shoulders slumping and his lower lip trembling. He couldn't understand what Chanyeol was saying. Even dream-Sehun was confused.

"Excuse me...?"

"In exchange for Sehun's life, you have to give up your memories about him, and the memories that you would possibly make with him in the future."

"But then...what about us...?" Lu Han looked down at Sehun sadly, and this time, it was Kyungsoo who stepped forward, patting him on the head and pulling him for a hug.

"You're going to have to give that up if you want Sehun to live again."

And then suddenly, dream-Sehun's vision fast forwarded, the colours and voices mixing. It made him dizzy, but the next scene jolted him awake, fresh tears running down his face. It was him, alive and breathing and alone on the beach shore with Chanyeol, Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. Far off in the distance, he could see three figures walking off, one of them carried by the tallest. Sehun's hair had changed colour, and so did the boy who was being carried.

*

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon watched as Sehun walked around the house like a zombie. It was unusual, and the mood was depressing (since adding Sehun's depression to Chanyeol's was overwhelming). Jongin had been the first one to leave, grumbling about sad s. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo couldn't bring themselves to leave, knowing the reason behind Sehun's behaviour.

"Kyungsoo, Junmyeon-hyung."

The two boys sat up straight, looking at Sehun with surprise.

"No need to hide things from me. I know what happened."

"...who told you?"

"...I found out through a dream, hyung."

Kyungsoo wordlessly pulled Sehun into a hug, and Sehun melted into the touch, needing the physical reassurance.

"So...it was his decision? Just so I'd live...?" Sehun mumbled sadly.

"He loved you. He couldn't bear to see you die, Hunnie." Kyungsoo explained, and Sehun nodded.

"We talked, you know? He...he helped me not get lost and...we talked. He smiled at me. He knew me. But then...it's like his memories go back to square one once another day begins."

Kyungsoo pulled Sehun down onto a seat, and Junmyeon remained silent.

"...he saved me from dying once, but this...this is like dying every day. He forgets about my existence with each sunrise...hyung, it hurts."

"Love does, apparently. Look at what happened to Chanyeol." Junmyeon started, and Sehun frowned at him.

"Thanks, hyung. Really."

"But don't hold it against Lu Han, Hunnie. Sometimes, loving someone also means letting go, even if it hurts."

And somehow, Sehun finally understood Chanyeol's pain over losing Baekhyun. Because he didn't really lose Baekhyun. Just like Lu Han, Baekhyun was physically there, but the problem was he couldn't remember. And that's what hurt the most.

*

Lu Han struggled with a box of fruits one cold morning. Xiumin was busy cleaning the ship (again) and Chen was busy making fun of Yifan. Yixing, was, well, being himself, sleeping. He mentally cursed his useless crew and was about to heave the box up again when somebody else lifted it up. Lu Han looked up to see a handsome boy, probably younger than him, grinning at him and holding the box easily.

"Uhm, thanks?" Lu Han started, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"No problem. Where to? You looked like you were having trouble with the box."

"Oh, I was, actually. Just to that ship."

"I'm Sehun, by the way."

"Lu Han." He smiled, and the other chuckled before replying.

"I know." Sehun smiled, and walked on ahead.

Lu Han, surprisingly, didn't feel weird at the very stalker-ish reply. He just ran after the taller boy, amazed at how light he made the box look. Arriving at the deck, Sehun placed the box down before waving at Yifan and Chen.

"What's up, man. You're here again?" Chen started, smiling at Sehun with a hint of pity and awe.

"Yeah. Never going to give up, you know? He might remember me next time." Sehun shrugged, and Lu Han just watched the exchange with curiosity.

"You know that's not going to happen, right?" Yifan interjected, and Chen smacked him on the head. So much for respect to their captain.

"Hey! Don't be so rude, you heartless captain."

"I know it won't, but it's free to hope." Sehun shrugged, and looked back at Lu Han.

He headed back to the plank that served as the connection of the ship to the beach shore. He jumped onto the sand and looked back at Lu Han, grinning. Lu Han waved back at him, smiling.

"See you tomorrow, Lu Han?"

"Sure thing, Sehun."

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Will you remember me tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that, too?" Sehun's own words hurt him, but he hoped, even just a little, that maybe his love would break the spell of Neverland.

Lu Han giggled, and the sound was amazing to Sehun. It made him smile and remove all the worries he felt.

"Of course! I don't think I'll forget someone with hair as colourful as yours." Lu Han giggled, and Yifan called out that they were going to set sail soon.

Lu Han promptly pulled the plank of wood back, and as the ship moved back into the sea, he couldn't help but feel a little longing inside of him as he watched Sehun's figure grow smaller and smaller by the second.

I'll remember you, Sehun. I promise.

You broke your promise again, Lu Han.

A/N: And here's the HunHan I promised to my Neverland readers! It's not much, but I just wanted to write the HunHan idea I've had since the begining of Neverland. :) I'm not sure if I'll be making a TaoRis spinoff. I'll have to think about it...

If you have questions, feel free to ask me on twitter, tumblr, ask.fm or here. :)

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