The bad thing about a PR company is, as far as I see it, that the owner turns out to be a very cynical miser who hates to pay off some money on personal needs. For an instance; anyone would be dying to run for a bargain sale to buy anything that comes free with something else, or for half of its normal price. And you don’t have to use it until you really need to, things just comes in handy. When you need it, you have it. No need to waste time to run around looking out for it when you’re in requirement. That’s exactly what I thought when I bought an oversized dress for my girl; Miyeon, from a summer sale of D&G. But her dad didn’t appreciate it. PR people, they have no idea of bargain shopping.

                Sung Gyu held up the glittery pink dress in front of him, definitely not impressed, but wearing a weird look on his face, and glanced at two and a half years old Miyeon sitting lousily on our bed.  I was so sure the dress matched her dark hair and beautiful tiny eyes that she inherited from her father. I was so willing to dress her up in that dress-

                “-on her third birthday?” Sung Gyu asked peeking from behind the dress. “Jiyeon-ah, she’s only two and a half years old. Look at this dress; she can’t wear it not even in two more years!”

                I dropped my hands, disappointed, PR people are extremely disappointing. “Come on Sung Gyu, it was on sail, only four 3000 won, the smaller ones cost 4000 but when she gets older, we’ll have to put it away. So I bought it in the next size so she could wear it in years to come.”

                “Years to come?” He echoed, staring at me with his eyes wide in disbelief. “Years to come? Jagi I’m sure we are wealthy enough to buy dresses for her when she needs one, there’s no need of spending over useless dresses that she can’t even wear.”

                “I know, but isn’t it better to be prepared?” I asked, uncertain of what I really meant. Sung Gyu didn’t seem to give up.

                “Prepared for what?”

                I hesitated, unable to find answers. That’s what I’ve been telling him; he always leaves me speechless. Demonstrating with hand gestures I said; “Well…what if…I…I die in some severe accident, or…or I leave the country for some business matters-.”

                “I know you wouldn’t die in some accident or leave the country because you have no businesses!  So at least, think thoroughly before you buy something. Spending is easier than earning; I know…but please don’t take the maximum use of it.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and took Miyeon into his hands, watching her face as she laughed with delight. It was only a dress I bought for her. Okay, an oversized dress but, I mean, in two more years or so, we wouldn’t have to buy one. Like the coffee table I got from a bargain sale few years ago, before Miyeon came around, and she used it to stand up on her feet one fine day, when she found it huddled in a corner of the dining hall. I pointed that out to Sung Gyu as things coming in handy. He just smiled. I didn’t use it after then, it wasn’t me who used it on the first place, but I was sure we will use it someday, maybe if someone accidently broke the leg of the coffee table in the living room. I hated it from the beginning, but Sung Gyu insisted on putting that away. It was too old for the twenty first century. 

                And one day, when I was off shopping, I found a ‘Buy two and get one free’ sale and bought two ceramic mugs which were blue and white stripped and very cute, and got one free. Well of course the mugs cost good 7000 won, but they were useful. I kept them nicely on our newly furnished glass paneled pantries and attracted a lady who claimed herself as a wife of some client of Sung Gyu’s. I was concerned about Sung Gyu’s work and his respectable clients, but if a wife of a client shows up at my place for no one’s avail and think I’ve spent on useless things and say that we could easily decorate the pantry with spaghetti holders and tins, I’d have to talk on my defense. I mean, this is a democratic country, and I have a right to decorate my kitchen in any way I want, plus one day, I will be having a nice coffee with Miyeon and Sung Gyu with the mugs and there is a future use, though it meant losing another useless client for Kim Dynasty. And major chaos and a few hours of silent treatment.  Sung Gyu, in his case, had no idea of spending for the real matters, like on Samsung 3D Televisions so that I could impress my mum, who thinks microwave ovens are the coolest things on earth, or on L’Oreal makeup, so that Sung Gyu could go around showing me off to his clients proudly that he has a good-looking wife. What he normally sees is that I should be on a ‘100000 wons a week’ budget.  It turned out to be pretty useless, given that I already had two credit cards dancing in my purse, always ready to pay off for anything I buy. And Sung Gyu, with no offence, pays off the bills that show up at the end of each month. He was obviously being a good husband for an unemployed wife as much as I served him as a house-wife. Maybe that’s why we were going on so well.

I went upstairs with the coffee that Sung Gyu required while working, he was in the study room with his all time working partner, Woo Hyun.  The two men were on a serious talk that I didn’t disturb but landed the mugs on the petit round mats and turned away. I didn’t get to haul myself out before Sung Gyu called my name. I turned back to him with an unmistakable smile. He didn’t smile back but frowned. He held out another HSBC letter up in the air, I gulped, remembering the cute bedspread set I bought for Miyeon on e-bay which cost a happy 6500 wons.

“You made any purchase recently with this one?” he asked waving the envelope in the air. I nodded, wondering whether the package has arrived. I was too busy with Miyeon that I forgot to check. “Yes,” I said and leaned onto the wall for support. “A few this and that” I said to be on the safe side. Sung Gyu’s temper could sometimes be really harmful. He stood up from his chair, not once looking at Woo Hyun; he had the bill still hanging down his fingertips. I pressed myself more against the wall. “You and I need to talk” His glare was inevitable. He firmly took my wrist and ushered me out of the room.

As soon as we were in the living room, he closed the door behind him and came towards me. “Who am I of yours?” He asked, and I was shocked by the question. His tiny eyes had fire in them, which produced sweat around my neck. I stared at him, unable to speak. “Who am I Kim Jiyeon? Answer me.” I gulped, and noticed how beautiful he looked when he’s mad, but I was too busy to think of that, I had to answer. “Kim Sung Gyu …my husband, and the owner of Kim Dynasty…” I managed, in a rush. “Very well then…I’m not your guardian or any of such of those who pay out for the ones who think careless spending is nice…is that so Jiyeon?”  I shook my head. He held the bill over my face. “Do you know this was declined after your last purchase?” I swallowed and looked down at my feet. “No…” I managed. “It was, and I have to pay a damn grand to get it back for you, so for the other, and I’m not wealthy enough to sit back and let you eat up all I earn on useless stuff, Jiyeon, I’m trying to bring up a company which is accompanied with hundreds of employees waiting for their monthly payment, and a family hanging down on my hand!”  

I felt a tight knot in my throat, he was hurt, and it was my entire fault. At first, I saw nothing wrong doing the bargain shopping or shopping for the future use for a low price. But now I see the consequences, I had been eating up my ever-loving husband’s income. But in the other hands, he owned the Kim dynasty; he was rich enough to pay off all the money needs with the income he received. I was the poor parasite here, with all the responsibilities of house hold work and bringing up a child. All Sung Gyu had to do was work nicely with a smile with his clients, while sitting back in his cozy office. Who had the most errands?

“200,000,000 Won last time I paid for the HSBC and 500,000,000 grand for the AE…” Sung Gyu was saying, pacing down in the way that he does when he was frustrated. “I earn twice as much a month, sure, but who the hell should pay for my employees? Who pays the rents, taxes…?”

“Sung Gyu” A one frustrated Jiyeon said, sick of her husband’s hostility.  Sung Gyu froze on his tracks and looked up at my sweaty face. “Look, I understand what you mean, and I promise I’ll stick to the budget, please give me a month to find a job and pay off the bills”

“A month?” he echoed, dropping his hands. “Dammit! Jiyeon, the stupid card is declined!”

“I know! Just…just let me sell off some property I own or something to pay them off” I looked down thoughtfully. “Yes, that will do.”

“That’s not-.”

I cut off before he could finish, my temper strikingly rising. I heard Miyeon’s voice outside the door, but I was not willing to let her see her parents fighting. Woo Hyun would take hold of her any minute. But every cell in my body told me to leave the problem out to Sung Gyu and take hold of Miyeon. With a great inhale, I ignored my crying child.

“Then what!?!” I asked, hating the fact that I had to talk to him that way. “What are you trying to tell me Sung Gyu? Do you want me to pack up and leave your premises? Do you want me to run down the road looking out for a place for me and my child to live while you have fun being a skinflint-cynical miser making others’ lives miserable?” I paused to breath but started before Sung Gyu could insist. I could still hear Miyeon’s voice outside. Sung Gyu glanced at the door, probably hearing his daughter crying outside while his wife cried inside. Woo Hyun must be too busy like his boss to notice the whining child. Now I wanted to kick hard on both of their handsome faces. “I’ve been in this house with my child over four years, hardly enjoying my life wasted on a marriage, and the only thing which kept my mind off depression was shopping. You never even knew what I and my child did because you were too busy with your endless work. If you cut down my income, which is only a 100000 won a week, I’d go crazy and my child will have no way to go, and you’d be happily worrying about your work, until I finally fall dead. Is that what you want Sung Gyu? Is that what you want for your child?”

Miyeon now called her mother, her newly learnt words, and slightly crying, tapping onto the mahogany door with her chubby hand. I wondered if Woo Hyun’s hearing had gone dead. Her little voice was inevitable that I wanted to kick aside the stupid problem the multi-billionaire husband brought up, and run for my girl. Sung Gyu seemed pretty much distracted. He sighed, and eyed the door again. For the first time in my whole life, I didn’t want to let him touch my baby.

“Please leave her out of this Jiyeon, she’s only a baby, and I love her beyond words”

My eyes pricked with tears. I will leave my child out of anything that happens between us. Except for Sung Gyu, whom I was losing my grip, Miyeon was all I had.

With my next words, I started crying hard. “I will. There’s nothing as important as her in my whole life Sung Gyu, It’s for her that I’m doing everything, everything to keep her happy and safe, everything to bring her up as a child whom we could take to the world as a young woman the whole world would respect, I could have got my cards declined, and I could sell my property for millions and pay them off, don’t worry about that, and let you be. But remember, all I’ve bought up to this point today, had been either for you or for her. Do you see anything that I’ve bought for myself Sung Gyu? I don’t care about myself; all I care about is you, because all I have is you.” I took a minute to swallow and look down at my ragged cloths which doesn’t suit for a millionaire’s wife. I could almost feel his gorgeous tiny eyes-that I had always loved- on my damp face. “Just give me a month to amend all I did, a month. I will find myself a job, pay off the taxes and bills, and if you want…”-I swallowed at the thought-“…I could leave you…alone” I managed to swallow all my sobs and watched Sung Gyu’s face for a response. There was nothing to give away; his grim face hadn’t changed a bit.

Having all I thought said, I walked past him to the mahogany door to my child who was still crying for her mother. Maybe he had no heart, maybe he had no idea what the hell he was doing. All he cared about was work, not his child, or his wife. Maybe all he cared about was money, not the happiness that I and my girl have gained spending it. Maybe he doesn’t care about happiness at all. All he had done must’ve been just the responsibilities he should have done for a family; he never felt that it was important, just a lack of responsibilities.

I flashed back to the good days we had. The day I started working as a secretary at the Kim dynasty, the day Sung Gyu proposed and asked me to stop working because he was wealthy enough bring up a family of his own, the wedding and the day that Miyeon came around…He had never hurt me in the way that he hurt me in this point where he was convinced that I was spending too much. Nonetheless, I could hardly remember the last time I bought myself some cloths or make-up though I really wanted to. The last purchase was for Miyeon, the one before that was for her too, the one long before that were ‘buy two get one free’ Armani ties from a bargain sale for Sung Gyu.

I loved to keep my home beautiful and clean, and I love to see my husband and child being dressed up nicely and neatly and I didn’t care how much of money it took, because it just worth it. When you get a daughter, I’m sure that first of all, you’d think of how you’d dress her up, how you decorate her room, and what food you’d feed her, and all of those will be the best and the most expensive. I have always been convinced that spending for your family’s benefit just simply worth it, because that would always keep you happy and safe, that’s what a wife’s never ending responsibilities are all about.

But no one said a wife’s attempt on bringing up a happy family could only cause rows and fights? Cold wars and silent treatments until she finally gets convinced all that she did were wrong and start looking for answers that don’t exist? Is that what which keeps the husband pleased, watching his wife suffer in spite of her mistakes that hadn’t much done any harm to him but the wife herself? Do all the husbands enjoy their wives’ pain?   

   I took a flight to upstairs with endless sobs, clutching Miyeon against my chest. Her tears have dried out, but her face was all pink and adorable as always, a perfect reflection of her father. As I held her, I wondered if she would be the same. Miserly, egotistical and a hostile person who, frankly, never cared about his family but his money and his work. Will she be the same? Could I let her be the same? Though I wished she was a successful person like her father who was respected by many, now could I let this little girl be the same?

No, she won’t be the same. As she touched my face with her pink chubby hands and watched my face with those eyes that belonged to her father, I knew she won’t be the same. She’d probably be like me. Frankly, a caring wife who’s ready to listen to every brutal word her husband would say.

Hours passed, and Sung Gyu had returned to his office and was busy with his work and Woo Hyun, who very badly required hearing aid. I was back in my bedroom with Miyeon, who was playing with a stuffed Elmo that I bought her from a new toy store-the name of which I could hardly remember-that was newly opened and sold toys for half of its price for the first few days. Sung Gyu thought it was useless because by the time I bought them, we had no idea about a child, but now I know he had been all wrong. When Miyeon grew tired of playing, and I was terribly exhausted, we collapsed onto the pillows and fell asleep.

When I woke up feeling tired and stiff, it was six in the evening and Miyeon was not in my embrace. I sat up with a loud gasp and realized that Sung Gyu was in the room, sitting on the floor wearing a weary face, playing with a cheerful Miyeon who had no idea of what’s going on. The minute he heard me gasp, he turned to face me hopefully, and I wondered what reason he had to be so hopeful. He had hurt me enough for a single day. He stared at me as if were the one to start speaking, yet I sat with no word. The flames he had in his tiny dark  eyes were gone, replaced with something that I couldn’t comprehend. His dark hair was a mess, and bangs were falling down on his forehead, the bangs he always kept nicely combed to a side because I always liked it that way. He obviously wasn’t feeling so well and it’s my entire fault. I shouldn’t have played around with money for my own avail. It had been him who’d been earning it all by himself. I felt a lump of guilt in my throat as I slid down the bed and sat on the floor besides Miyeon. It was inevitable. He was my husband after all.

He watched me as I settled down on the floor and took a stuffed giraffe into his hands, squeezing it nervously. I wanted to laugh because his reaction reminded me of how he reacted when he proposed me four years ago. It was the same Sung Gyu I owned four years ago, the same Sung Gyu I loved.

I managed a smile that he watched but didn’t smile back. He frowned hard as Miyeon played with a headless Barbie doll. It was me who started the conversation.

“Sung Gyu, is there anything you need to tell me? Like, have you grown tired of me already?” I asked, staring down at my hands. He made no response.

“Jagiya, I understand. I’ve been a skinflint, a jerk who never cared about how I should spend and you have every reason to hate me-.”

“I don’t hate you” Sung Gyu said, looking up at my ever ugly face.

“Then why…?-.”

He cut me off before I could say something stupid or immature. And yes, I did sound like a high school love bird.

“Do you know the Kim Inco. Group?” he asked in a low voice that I had never heard him use before.

I nodded, remembering the grim face of Kim Myung Soo, the chair person of the group.    

Long minutes of silent as he watched the sun going down in the western depths of the sky. Then he turned to Miyeon, and back to me and said; “Kim dynasty no longer represents the group. And…” He sighed heavily and continued. “A few more of the former clients.”

I sat straight, unable to say a word. Because I knew what his words meant. The guilt started to grow within my veins. It’s my entire fault. Then he said the words that I always feared.

“We are all ruined Jiyeon…bankrupted. I have no other idea how to put it…”

I felt my face fall. I had been spending like a jerk having no idea of our real state. I’m the one who had made him suffer. If there was no steady income, how the hell could he pay the dozens of bills and taxes?

“I don’t know what to do Jiyeon…the group announced of their extrication yesterday and everything messed up and that’s when I saw the stupid bill and...”

“Why didn’t you tell me Sung Gyu? You should have told me then I could have helped you, you know I would”

He exhaled heavily, and spoke. “I…didn’t want to ruin the happy times you had with Miyeon…Jiyeon...I could have ruined everything, and I didn’t want to…I had no option than telling you about the bills and it came out a bit harsh, I’m sorry…”

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I wanted cry hard and beg him for forgiveness, and I knew he would forgive me, but it would only make it worse. We had been ruined for a long time but never did I know because he thought making me aware would ruin my happiness. After all, he had been suffering with taxes, debts, losing clients and his business falling apart, all by himself and ruining his life to keep me and his child happy. I’m the one had been a miser, a skinflint and a cynic. I’m the one who had cared about only my delight, but not his. I’m the one who wanted to do everything in my way, not aware that I was destroying my husband’s life. And Frankly; I’m the worst wife that any husband could ever think of.

“No I’m sorry…I didn’t know…” I told him, feeling warm tears running down my cheeks. Yes, I had ruined him. I had ruined my husband’s life. I had every reason to spill my tears.

“I was sure I would be able to keep you happy and safe the minute I brought you here, so was I when Miyeon turned up…I’m so sorry I blew it…”

Suddenly something happen deep inside me, something bloomed like a flower before I spoke. “No you did not my Jagi, we don’t need money to keep our happiness as long as we have each other…I’m happy as long as I have Miyeon and you.”

His face lightened up and he smiled and glanced at happily laughing Miyeon. We still had happiness, and Miyeon gave us a hope. And he suddenly turned back to me. “But you said you will be depressed with no shopping and go crazy and…” he tailed off and looked down at the stuffed giraffe in his hands.

I leaned over and kept my hand firmly on his arm. “That’s because you were hardly here with me and I felt so lonely that I went shopping to buy goods for Miyeon and you…seeing Miyeon’s happy face always kept me happy. And seeing you happy, does the magic too”

He smiled wider and moved closer to me. I felt the bond getting stronger between us. Who needs 3D screens and L’Oreal cleansers if you have a husband that you could always rely on?

“And your happiness will always keep me happy” he said, and pulled me tightly into his arms, to exactly where and how I wanted to be, and gently pressed his lips onto mine, kissing me lightly, making my heart leap a mile, making butterflies flutter inside like never before…just how it did the first time he kissed me and claimed that he’s mine. And I knew it, I just certainly knew it that we belonged together, we belonged to each other, fate had brought us together, will hold us together until death will pull us apart.