Choi Siwon, although a member of the singing boy band Super Junior, is more known for his acting skills rather than his singing. However, that doesn’t mean that he’s not blessed with a sweet voice. It may not be as good as KRY members, but each has a different tone and it definitely doesn’t set him as a bad singer, because if he was, he wouldn’t even be in Super Junior.

No matter how some people say he got into K-pop world because of his father, none of them really know the real struggles and the hard training he went through to reach the point he’s in. He may have been born with a golden spoon in his mouth, but even his father refused his decision in joining the entertainment world if not for Siwon’s hard work and tiring efforts to make it.

He started as a singer first, but as he grew bigger, his passion for singing got swallowed by the management who, little by little, decreased his singing lines and made him known as the visual of the group instead. He still had a few words in each song, yet it didn’t satisfy him and left him thinking his voice just wasn’t to the standard.

Being the gentleman he is, of course Siwon could never argue when he gets the paper sheets to a new song and finds his lines limited to none. Little by little, he as well lost confidence in his voice, making peace with the fact that he will never be enough.

Nevertheless, he worked hard to print his name in the industry, and he worked double hard to prove himself as an actor, leaving the singing part to his talented band mates. Though at the same time, he could never give up on his spot in Super Junior because that was the turning point for his current successful life, and of course because the members are, and always will be, his second family.

.
.

Today, is an unusual day. It’s Siwon’s day off and he was just chilling in his apartment doing nothing until he suddenly felt an urge to sing. He bitterly smiles at the empty space as he recalls the path his career has taking, from a singer to a model, and now to an actor.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves acting and he works so hard to succeed in it. It’s just that, one can’t forget easily what his first passion is. Yes, he has no regrets whatsoever, but still… he really loves to sing. Maybe as time went by, he didn’t feel like singing in front of people, but in times like these when he’s alone and not buried in schedules… he wants to re-live his first passion.

Walking to the music room which he shares with his boyfriend, he takes a deep breath before settling on the piano bench. He did recently play a song on his latest drama, and even though there was clapping afterwards, still, he made himself believe that they were just instructed to do so. All the suppression SM had put him through the years, had blinded him and made him assume the worst in his singing ability. No matter how some fans tweet him about how they love his voice or how they think he’s not just the visual of the group, he can never truly believe in those words.

Pressing the first key, he closes his eyes and lets the tone echo around the room before he rests both hands on the keyboard and starts playing a song that he hasn’t played in a long time.

‘Who I am’ has a special place in his heart. Not only because it’s his first solo but because he got to share it with his beloved one. The times they spent together practicing and how the young boy helped him so willingly and patiently, are still engraved in his mind. Now looking back at it, he shortly laughs, realizing he probably had it for the maknae ever since. He just didn’t realize it at the time.

.
.

As the delicate tone flow out of his mouth, spreading throughout the apartment, it managed to make the heart of a certain figure skip a beat at the missed voice.

The second owner of the house has just arrived and his face instantly broke into a broad smile once he heard the sound of his lover singing, a voice that he can recognize anywhere, anytime.

He may be the one with the best voice in their band, yet something about Siwon’s, always makes his heart flutter with joy, and makes his mood brighten up in a blink of an eye.

It’s been a while since he heard his lover singing, -which explains the surprised look on his face- especially this song that brings too many memories to him. Although, he can’t deny that he doesn’t know why.

Of course he does. He knows Siwon by heart even before they got together. He knows the way his boyfriend had sometimes suffered because people said his voice just wasn’t good enough, and he knows that every time his boyfriend smiled at those comments, that inside, his heart is actually breaking a little.

His boyfriend may not notice, but Kyuhyun knows it all.

Making his way inside, he slowly approaches the room and leans his body on the door frame, watching his lover too immersed in the song that he doesn’t notice his presence.

Siwon is side facing him, eyes closing then opening with the different notes as he focuses on conveying his emotions to no one in particular, or so he thinks.

.
.

As the last note disappears through the air, Kyuhyun claps his hands slowly yet firmly, causing the startled man to turn and stare at him dumbfounded. His face flushed heavily but he manages to prick a sweet smile at the loving look in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Since when?” He asks and Kyuhyun walks to him, settling on his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck.

He rests his forehead on Siwon’s temple, closing his eyes and sighing in content as his heart is still flying because of Siwon’s voice, and instead of replying his question, he says “I love you so much”

Siwon beams, hands tightly wrapping around Kyuhyun’s waist as he tilts his head a bit to catch the younger's lips in a tender kiss.

“I’m sorry” Kyuhyun whispers, causing Siwon’s eyebrows to frown in confusion.

“For what?”

Kyuhyun then hugs him, burying his head in the crook of his neck and enjoying the way the older’s hand is soothingly caressing his back.

Siwon patiently waits for the answer until he hears his lover whispering in his ear.

“For what it’s worth… I could listen to your voice forever”

And Siwon knows that Kyuhyun, once again of course, managed to read him without even saying a word.

He faintly smiles, pressing a kiss on Kyuhyun’s arm before the younger slightly pulls away, letting their gazes meet as they lovingly stare at each other.

It may be the million's time he said these words, nevertheless, Kyuhyun knows that his boyfriend once again does not totally believe him. Yet, he will just have to keep saying it until one day he does. One day he will know that his voice is good, that his voice is beautiful to someone out there, and that his passion for singing shouldn’t stay locked just because some management is only portraying him as a good looking guy with two gorgeous dimples and a magnificent body.

Until then, he will just have the privilege to enjoy such voice by himself.

Letting his eyes wander over each detail of his lover’s face, Kyuhyun caresses Siwon's cheek, leaning down to put a peck on his lips before turning to face the piano, his hands leading Siwon’s to the keyboard.

“Let’s sing it together… Like old times”

Kyuhyun mutters and Siwon buries his head in his shoulder, heart flooded with love for the boy in his arms as he whispers a small ‘thank you’ that doesn’t go unheard by the younger.

Then again, he may not have the best voice and he may have given up on his singing passion, but one thing for sure, Cho Kyuhyun is one passion that Choi Siwon will never give up on, never let it be taken away, and never lose faith in no matter what.

-end-