Taemin liked to .

Oh, it was nothing dirty. Okay, it was dirty as in dirt germs gross dirty, not like, ual, nasty dirty.

He liked to his thumb.

Yes, he knew only babies did that. In fact, he had done it too when he was a baby. But the problem was, he never stopped. His parents used to smear hot sauce and garlic on his thumbs to try deter him from , but it didn’t. All that happened was that he developed a high spice tolerance. So whenever his family had seen him raise that hand and that thumb come anywhere near his lips they would tug his hand away and lecture him about the germs, and how only babies did that, that it would ruin his teeth and that he was too old to do it and it looked weird.

So he started his thumb in the night while he drifted off to sleep, when they couldn’t see him.

his thumb was a comfort for when he was sad and trying not to cry, and a treat for when he was happy and wanted to reward himself. When he was angry he would take it out on his thumb, furiously to a point where he thought his thumb would drop off.

He really wanted to stop, he really did. But it was so hard, when the only thing he wanted was to put his thumb in his mouth and just make himself feel better and it wouldn’t hurt anyone…

When he was told he was going to debut, in a group called SHINee, he had been over the moon, jumping up and down on his bed in the middle of the night with a huge grin on his face and falling asleep in the early morning with his thumb wedged in his mouth. He was going to make it! He was going to debut!

When he had walked into the dorm with his hyungs for the first time, and saw all the beds in one room, Jonghyun and Onew had thought it would be a great idea if they just kept it that way because they thought it would be an excellent way to bond and create attachments, and they could have deep and meaningful conversations in the night and no one would be left out. After hearing those reasons, Key had agreed it was a great idea and was excited, and Minho had nodded his head in approval.

Only Taemin remained stiff faced. Oh God. What if they say him his thumb in the night?  What if he woke up with his thumb in his mouth in the morning, where it would be light and they might see?? They were going to think he was weird, it was dirty.

The habit had to stop now!

It was so hard the first night though… he had just showered and he knew he was clean. He could hear his hyungs loudly breathing in sleep. He was facing the wall. Thank god he had won kai bai bo and could choose first, and he had chosen the bed closest to the wall and on the bottom of the bunk. Hopefully it would be harder for them to see him like this.  He wasn’t familiar in this room. He felt out of place. And he had to live here for god knows how long? Away from his family for the rest of his life? He was officially no longer a part of his family’s ordinary life forever. A lump grew in his throat and he knew he had to his thumb.

He heard someone fumble down their bunk, and since it was coming from the other end of the room, it had to be Key.

He quickly took his thumb out of his mouth as Key tip toed to the bathroom, and the door was at Taemin’s end. Taemin shuffled as Key walked past, telling him that he was awake.

When Key walked past again to go back to his bed, he watched him in the dark.

He heard a soft chuckle, and was surprised to feel Key reach out and pat him on his leg.

“Go to sleep aegi,” Key whispered.

What a close call.

As the days and months past, he grew more confident and comfortable with his hyungs and his new home.  Jinki was the smart and talkative leader, who seemed excited to help Taemin with his homework and always smiled at him encouragingly during singing practise while everyone trilled away and he didn‘t want to open his mouth.

Jonghyun was even more talkative and dominating, injecting his opinion in every conversation and singing loudly as if to remind the others that he was the lead vocal. But he was nice, always Taemin’s hair and complimenting him. He even begged Taemin to sleep in his bunk with him sometimes, and Taemin would nestle into the older boy with his fist right next to his mouth to remind himself that it was just there, right next to him.

Key was quiet and respectful at first, but as he got more comfortable he became more louder too, aligning himself with Jonghyun and nagging at everyone for some reason, always tidying and cooking even though they had ahjummas that did that. Key seemed to nag Taemin the most, but Taemin didn’t really mind, because since Key had longer hair he looked way more handsome then when he had shorter hair, and Key also seemed to physically look after him the most too. While Jinki looked after him it was sort of distant and only with words, asking Taemin how he was feeling, telling him how he should sing, giving him advice or helping him calculate maths problems. Key was physical. Hugging Taemin, literally feeding Taemin with his hands or his chopsticks, combing his hair, making sure he ate all of his meals. straightening his clothes, packing his bag, making him lunch, tidying his stuff. And although while he did that stuff he nagged Taemin, Key would always compliment him too, and slip him more yummy food when there were treats in the dorm and they were supposed to equally share it out. Everyone noticed this and called Key ‘Key umma’, although it changed to ‘Key-nag’ because Key nagged everyone, but didn’t look after them as much as he did with Taemin. Taemin didn’t even need to do anything most of the time, Key would always do it for him.

Minho was quiet and mature, serious when they were practising and seeming to disapprove when the rest of SHINee got silly, but he always ended up grinning at the end. He seemed to have a soft spot for Taemin too, always patting Taemin’s back and slinging his arm across the shoulders as to give him silent support and make Taemin feel like someone would always be on his side.

Taemin became a lot more louder as well as time went on, because before they had all been friends and polite like they were working on a school project together. By living together the boundaries had definitely broken and Taemin was bolder than at his own home because now he had 4 guys near his own age to always joke and talk to.

He was lying in Key’s bunk with Key, freshly showered and just dozing as the others took their showers. They were all too exhausted to talk, and although the others could fall asleep anywhere, Taemin couldn’t sleep unless it was dead quiet and dark, and Key couldn’t either. But tonight, they had spent about 14 hours in the practise room doing nothing but practise Replay and he was so tired. For a second he forgot that he was snuggled next to his hyung, that the sound of the shower filled his ears, and the light was still on. He stuck his thumb in his mouth, and fell asleep.

When he woke up he moved his tongue around, confused that something wasn’t in his mouth. His eyes shot open as he realised where he was and he glanced desperately at Key.

Key was holding his hand whose thumb he had been on and watching him tiredly in the dark.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he pleaded in a whisper.

“It’s not good to your thumb,” whispered back Key.

“I know, I just can’t help myself hyung, please don’t tell anyone,” he said again.

“I won’t, I promise,” whispered Key. “But this has got to stop. I’ll help you.”

“I only it when I’m really tired okay, I don’t need to stop. It’s fine, I don’t need your help.”

Taemin slid off Key’s bunk and went to his own.

Taemin didn’t realise how much he actually his thumb, until every time he did it Key seemed to be there and judging.

When he was stuck on his homework, and he was trying to figure out whether to use sine, cos or tan on the dining room table, he felt someone staring at him. He lifted his head to see Key watching him. He was puzzled for a moment until he moved his tongue a bit and realised his thumb was in his mouth.

He pulled it out of his mouth quickly.

“Go away Key hyung,” he mumbled before grabbing everything up and running to the manager’s room.

When he was watching youtube videos of people breakdancing and his favourite band’s music videos, and he felt someone’s gaze lingering on him, and he turned around to see Key, and Key arched one eyebrow and Taemin pulled his thumb out before jumping out and pushing Key out of the room and closing the door.

When they were practising and when they had a break Taemin would daydream in front of the mirrors, and when he returned back to earth he could see Key’s reflection looking at his, which was his thumb. When they were trailing behind manager, Taemin being the last little duckling in the line, whenever Taemin looked up Key was looking at him and Taemin would realise his stupid thumb was in his mouth again.

But the last straw came when he was in a dream where his hyungs all saying ‘aigoo, how cute’ while playing little hand cymbals that clicked as they giggled.

He had opened his eyes to see that it had become a dream come true. He had fallen asleep on Onew’s bed because he had been exhausted after a long day of school and training and it was the easiest to get to. Now his hyungs were all kneeling on Minho’s bed, taking pictures of Taemin his thumb while he slept.

“You’re so cute Taeminnie,” cooed Jonghyun as blood rushed up to Taemin’s face.

“Delete them,” he demanded. He wanted to die in embarrassment.

“No way! This is absolutely precious. I’m going to rewatch this every night before I go to sleep,” announced Jonghyun.

“You took a VIDEO?” screamed Taemin. “DELETE IT NOW!”

“You don’t even know how adorable you are,” said Onew, looking fondly at the screen on his ipod touch which he had taken the photos on, Minho looking over Onew’s shoulder and smiling serenely.

“DELETE THEM NOW HYUNG!” he screamed, trying to snatch it out of his hands.

“Ah ah ah!” tutted Onew, lifting it out Taemin’s reach. “Is that a way to talk to your hyungs? No way am I deleting it.”

Taemin hadn’t felt this angry and furious in a long time. The last time he had been this angry was when Taesun had told their mother that he had thrown away his lunch and he got in trouble. He realised that this spoke volumes about his and the member’s relationships but he couldn’t care less as he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.

“Come out Taeminnie, it’s nearly dinner time,” called Jonghyun as he knocked on the bathroom. “Plus Minho needs to pee.”

Taemin didn’t care if Minho needed to pee. He could wet his pants and that would teach him a lesson. He had never been so humiliated. Now they all knew he was a baby! But he didn’t know how to stop it and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to. He looked at himself in the mirror.

Taemin, you’re a baby who’s addicted to your thumb he admonished himself. I am so embarrassed.

“Taeminnie, we weren’t laughing at you, please come out,” said Onew. “It’s cute Taemin, don’t be mad.”

“Then delete them!” shouted Taemin.

He heard two sighs.

“Fine,” said Onew. “But you don’t need to be embarrassed. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You could have been caught doing something a lot worse-ow,” said Jonghyun as he was hit by someone for insinuating something dirty.

“I’ll come out when you all go away,” said Taemin. He hated how this was now a big deal now and he felt like a drama queen. He wanted this issue to die already.

“We’ll expect to see you at the dinner table, neh?” asked Onew.

“Neh,” answered Taemin and he heard them shuffle away.

“Can I come in?” asked Key.

Taemin unlocked the door and sat on the toilet set, letting Key come in. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, and locking Key out would just escalate things.

“Would it help if I told you that I knew something like this would happen?” asked Key as he knelt in front of Taemin, looking up at Taemin’s face.

“But I don’t know how to stop,” said Taemin, frowning dejectedly. “If I didn’t need to do it then I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t need to your thumb,” said Key rubbing Taemin’s legs. “It’s not hygienic.”

“I already know that!” said Taemin crossly. God, was Key just going to give him a lecture?

“Calm down,” said Key. “I’m not judging. Do you want to stop your thumb?”

Taemin nodded miserably.

“Want me to help you?” asked Key.

Taemin nodded again and let Key hug him in a cuddle he didn’t particularly want, but didn’t refuse. He liked Key a lot even if he was so interfering. Key made him feel like someone cared about him, that someone still cared for his welfare and he wasn’t expected to be an adult just yet.

“Good boy,” said Key, patting his hair. “Come on, let’s eat dinner.”

“Well, I’m impressed,” said Key when Taemin his thumb which he had immersed in chilli oil an hour before.

“I told you my parents tried that already,” grumbled Taemin. “I have a high spice tolerance.”

“Okay, okay,” soothed Key, smoothing Taemin’s hair back. “We’ll just try something else.”

“You need to dance stronger Taemin, stronger!” yelled the teacher. “There’s nothing that makes this group extraordinary at the moment. Where’s the passion? The intensity? I know you have it. I don’t want to see a robot copying my dance. I want to see YOU dancing. Own this dance!”

“I’m trying,” said Taemin, frustrated. He was so tired. School as well as a full time job? He wasn’t coping very well. He was so tired.

“No you’re not!” berated the teacher. “You’re getting lazy! Your dancing looks the same as everyone else’s in this group and that can’t happen! If you want to be remembered Taemin, you need to improve your dancing. It’s the only thing you’re good at. Practise over.”

“It’s okay Taemin,” said the rest of the group as the teacher walked away. “Everyone gets chewed out by songsaenim at one point.”

“Just this once,” whispered Key as Taemin lay in Key’s bunk trying to hold back his tears and wait for his turn at the shower. “I’ll let you.”

Taemin gratefully stuck his thumb in his mouth.

“Don’t listen to songsaenim,” whispered Key, wrapping an arm around Taemin. “I know you’re tired. Just try your best. It’s not like they can kick us out now,” he chuckled.

Key hugged Taemin to him and rubbed his back, and for the first time, his thumb felt wrong in his mouth. Slowly he removed it. If Key noticed then he didn’t say anything.

He closed his eyes just for a rest.

“Make sure you shower in the morning, Taeminnie,” he heard Key murmur as Taemin snuggled into his hyung’s warm chest, not feeling so alone in the world. He took a deep breath and drifted off along with his exhale.

A/N This is only a two shot so next chapter will be posted up soon! (I say soon but........)

I am in New York guys and girls! Exciting exciting!

Man. I miss my room :( I miss my friends :( I miss my husband :( Taemin I'm having major withdrawal symptoms from you :/ Dude. I need to be less obsessed with you, I think it's unhealthy. Hit me up if you ever read this xxx

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