A/N: WARNING! THIS IS A TRAGEDY! Don't say I didn't warn you

 

"Hahaha," That sweet melodic voice giggled, sending chills down my spine. Goosebumps ran across my skin, speckling itself like a disease. I couldn't take a step closer. No matter how much I wanted to, just so I could even breathe the air he did, to enter that space of smiles and joy that surrounded him, I just couldn't. My body just wouldn't let me. No, it's my mind that won't me. That little conscience in the back of my head that screamed at me not to. Oh but, how much I desired to, I wouldn't dare to take a step closer.

To be bandmates was as much as I could ever hope for. 

My beloved Key. Oh how you smile, the edges of your lips stretching across your face, full teeth that shone rays of light blinded me in my darkness. Those bow shaped lips that seem to make every word that escaped its mouth to be as seductive as possible but seemingly cute as well, if that was possible. But, anything was possible for Key. 

Everything about him was perfect. His milky white skin that revealed itself to me. Giving me that moment of joy whenever we changed in the locker room. The sight of him pulling his shirt up was too much. How can a man be so gorgeous. Those curves that seemed to pop out with whatever he wore. That shimmering blond hair that danced to the wind's tune as he moved. 

But, no matter how beautiful a person was, I will always fall for Key, time and time again. I worked in an industry that constantly filled itself to the brim, overflowing with stars; idols, models (even gravure models), actresses and actors, comedians and the like. No matter how many people there were, as charming and beautiful as they were, they could never be better than Key, in my eyes. 

He was utterly addicting. That personality. You just couldn't find anywhere. That childish maturity. There were so many and yet so little words to describe Key. Beautiful Key. My Key.

No, wait, I'm wrong. I snapped out of my trance, realising what I had been saying. I'm sorry, Key. I'm so sorry... that I even thought that you were "My beloved Key" and "​My Key"​. No, how could I even think that you would ever belong to me. How could anyone love me. I can never be good enough. No one will ever love me but, that's ok. I have my love for you keeping me going. 

 

Seven Years. It's been seven years since Onew met Key. Seven years since Onew fell in love with Key. Despite such a long yet-to-be(?) requited romance, Onew never dared to take his love to the next level. He constantly lived in fear of being rejected. Fear that he could destroy Shinee forever. This was how he lived. How he thought during those seven years. Not a day went by where he didn't adore Key. Not a day went by where he didn't put himself down.

 

"Onew! Hyung! Oneeewwwww-hyunnngggg~" A voice seemed to echo, "Ya! Lee Jinki!" The familiar voice cried. Taemin. How dare he call me that way? To his elder? That brat.

"Ya! Taemin! What did you just say?" I said, threateningly at him. I leaned forward, trying to regain his attention. Noticing him approaching once more, I slouched back on the chair, feeling somewhat exhausted from my thoughts. I mentally thanked Taemin for bringing me back into reality.

I watched as he walked past, pulling another chair for himself. A towel hung on his shoulders. With sweat drenched hair, that swung in front of his eyes, and a water bottle in hand, it was clear the boy had been practicing again. Despite how increasingly annoying he has become, the boy still tried hard. The sight of his hardship soften me, erasing the prior anger I had at him. Noticing my change, Taemin smiled, eyes becoming crescent moons.

"Sorry Hyung! I just kept trying to get your attention but, you wouldn't reply!" His cheerful voice always seemed to pull me of my darkness. This boy was the reason why I had managed to keep my sanity this entire time.

"It's ok. Why? What did you need anyway?"

"N-nothing. I just wanted to talk." His voice betrayed his confidence. 

"Why? Is Minho not paying enough attention to you anymore?" I grinned at him. The two had began dating shortly after we debuted. Although I may not have been able to confess my love, I convince Taemin to do his, knowing the love would be instantly requited.

"I-I told you al-already..." He looked away from my eyes, losing his smile.

"W-what?" I whispered, perhaps fearing a forgotten truth.

"Minho....Minho and I a-aren't together anymore..." Oh yes. Unrequited love. 

"Ahh.... I'm so sorry for bringing that back up..." My voice drifted off as I began what I usually did upon such a topic. Love. Key. If someone as adorable and talented as Taemin couldn't love a perfect love story, how could I ever have such a thing.

A million thoughts ran through my mind. Thinking about all my imperfections. Thinking about Key's perfection. The thoughts drove me into the ground, burying me in the hell of words.

Suddenly, within the darkness I could feel an embrace, who...?

"Hyung! Hyung! It's ok! It's going to be ok! So please, come back," The voice muttered, on the brink of sobbing.

"Taemin? I'm so sorry. I got a bit... lost." 

"Hyung..." With eye-brows deeply pushed together, Taemin pouted, clearly wanting to say something. Knowing what this could lead to, I stood up out of my chair to leave.

"Taemin... No... I already told you... I can't" I said, glancing once more at the boy before I closed the door, turning left into the corridor.

"YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM SOMEDAY! HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT YOU KNOW!" I could hear him scream, voice echoing off the walls. 

No, Taemin, that's where you're wrong. I will never tell him and I will make sure he never knows.

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A/N: does your heart feel as heavy as mine.

lets cry together guys ;A;