Ilhoon's POV
She was stepping closer..and closer. My vision blurred as she smiled and tears swelled up. The blood dripped while she fell to the ground. I fell on my knees as the tears spilled. The one I trusted most, the most important person, the only one I have... had just committed suicide right in front of me. And I didn't stop her. Why?
A pair of arms fiercely shook my shoulders. "Ilhoon! Wake up!" A low and husky voice demanded.
I groaned and sat up. "What?" I asked, eyes still slightly closed.
"Hurry up! We're late for shooting." And with that he left my room.
--
I rushed to the bathroom as soon as I caught my eye on the alarm clock, which blinked 5:16 AM. "Yah! Hurry! 4 more minutes!" Ji Yong hyung shouted. I didn't answer and focused on washing my face and brushing my teeth at the same time.
My phone rang and I scurried to pick it up. It set my alarm for the most important schedule, and I couldn't be late for this one. ' 5:19 '
"Great." I whispered and caught my jacket on the rack, while hurriedly shoving my feet into my shoe.
--
"Sorry, hyung." I said as I got in the van and caught my breath.
"What's wrong with you these days? You've been sleeping early and waking up late." Sungjae asked while he circled his arm around my shoulder.
"I...it's nothing, really..." I uncomfortably shifted closer to the window.
"Ah. Sorry. I forgot that you aren't a fan of skinship." He cleared his throat and immediately encircled his arm around Peniel.
I took my phone out and texted my sister.
Me: Noona
MinJoo Noona: hi ilhoon! What's wrong?
Me: I dreamt of her again..
MinJoo Noona: aigoo~ I told you to go to church.
Me: but I'm not Christian.
MinJoo Noona: aye. Anyways. You need to get an exorcism. Do you still hallucinate? BtoB must think you're crazy.
Me: yeah I do.. but BtoB doesn't notice. And I don't plan on telling them either.
MinJoo Noona: you're going to have to deal with it after they find out. Anyways good luck dongsaeng. ^_^ fighting!
Me: thanks :) and I have to get going. I'll text you later.
I sent the last text with a smile and it made BtoB cringe.
"Lover?" Hyunsik asked.
I shook my head and smiled.
"You're acting weird again." He shifted in his seat.
"Aish. Shut up. I'm sleeping." Changsub added making everyone look at me.
I gave them a shrug and stared out the window.
"Born to Beat! Annyeonghasayo BtoB imnida!" We all bowed in sync as the camera circled us.
My head started spinning and I was getting dizzy staring at the little black box. "Ilhoon!" Ji Reum shouted and smiled.
"Ji Reum! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed. Many whispers were heard as I smiled at the camera.
"Ilhoon? Ilhoon.." Sungjae shook me, taking me out of my trance.
"Huh? Oh. Sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew." I bowed and the MC continued blabbering. I wasn't paying attention, nor I had any intentions of doing so. Suddenly, Sungjae's arm encircled around my shoulders and held tightly. I could tell he was trying to comfort me, but this wasn't the type of comfort I needed.
"Ok. Ilhoon, please show us your gwiyomi player." The MC introduced. "Ah...sure." I started.
"1+1 is gwiyomi, 2+2 is gwiyomi, 3+3 is gwiyomi, gwiyomi, gwiyomi, 4+4 is gwiyomi, 5+5 is gwiyomi," I stopped by be sound of her voice. "1+1 is gwiyomi," she smiled at me.
"Ah. Yes. I will stop there, I need to use the restroom." I bowed and walked backstage. "Yah! What's gotten into you. Why are you like this?" I ignored him and ran to the bathroom rubbing my temple.
"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop." I repeated, while pacing in the bathroom. Other idols looked at me like I was crazy but I could care less, all I needed to do was get rid of her face. And I would be fine. "Ilhoon." She said. I stepped back and leaned on the concrete wall. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked, trembling.
"Aish." I cursed as I searched my pockets for the pills my doctor gave me.
"Aren't you happy I'm back? Why are you like this?" She walked closer with hurt eyes.
"You... You're dead..go away...just go away.." I yelled, taking a handful of the pills. I walked to the sink and splashed water on my face.
I slowly looked up, to see her standing there, tears swelled up in her doe like eyes. "Do I need more pills?" I whispered and grabbed 2 more.
"Hyung! Are you okay?" Sungjae came in with a worried face.
"Yeah...lets go." I walked out the bathroom, sighing.
"Ilhoon.." She stood in front of me, fading away slowly.
I looked into her eyes. "I don't want to remember you. It hurts." She faded with her hand clutching her stomach, quietly sobbing.
"Who are you talking to?"
"I-I'm just practicing... My line, for a drama." I lied.
"You've got a drama schedule? Hyung, you're overworking yourself. Why don't you rest."
"I can't. This is idol life. We're not free anymore." I walked into the stage and bowed.
I crossed my fingers, praying to not see her once again.
No one. I saw no one. No one was there, I wasn't sitting on any one. "I'm not sitting on anyone." I answered, almost as confused as Minhyuk hyung was. "Really? But-" he was cut off when he saw no one under me. "B-but, she was just there..." he whispered the last part. "Huh? Who?" My eyes widened. "T-that girl with the..-" he stopped and ruffled his hair, whispering something to himself. I looked at him in confusion and tangled my fingers together, wiping the sweat off my palms repeatedly.
"Hyung, tell me truthfully. You..." I stopped for a while as we locked gazes, "you're hallucinating too, right?" A tear left his eyes, but I quickly raised my weak arm up and wiped it away with my long sleeve t-shirt. "I'm right....right?"
He didn't answer for a brief moment. Suddenly, he leaned down and embraced me in his arms tightly. "So I'm guessing this is a yes..." I said and hugged him back. "Let's tell the members, we can't be hiding this for long. They'll find o-"
"No, Ilhoon, we can't tell them. If we do, it's over."
"What is over?"
"We. We are over." He said and took a seat next to Ilhoon.
Ilhoon didn't know what was up with the sudden mood change, but this was definetley getting at him. He furrowed his eyebrows as I sudden pang shot through his chest. He coughed, and coughed again.
"Ilhoon, we're both under a spell."
Comments