“Mireu, get up! You can never give up, that is our way of life. You must never show weakness, you must never turn your back. Now get up and fight back” the harsh words spoken hit like salt like to my wounds. It’s bad enough that this man caused my injuries, it’s even worse that this man is my father.

Eighteen years ago, my father came to Korea from Japan after he crossed his clan of ninjas. He risked everything to save my mother, who was brought there as a slave. Situations between Korea and Japan were very delicate at that time. Naturally my father fell in love with her beauty and took her away from the man who bought her, my father’s clan leader. So here I am, not only a cross breed but now forced into my father’s traditions. For Example; In his clan there are two who are trained, as brothers, they grow together and learn together. Once eighteen the two will fight to the death teaching the ninja one last lesson. To tear one away from emotions.

My Eighteenth birthday was yesterday, so I just found this out. The one who I am to fight is Lee Joon. Around the same time my father ran away with my mother he came across a village that was ransacked by some escaped convicts. He found Joon there motherless at the age of three. The kind heart my mother has, rescued him. If not for her, I’m sure he would have left Joon there. Shortly after they arrived to my mother’s home town I was conceived. What a convenience, my father was able to have two boys he could raise together.

By the time I was old enough to start my training Joon had already learned more than I could ever imagine, time after time he would be me at every lesson. I accepted that he was faster, stronger. What I couldn’t accept were the feeling I felt towards him. I didn’t know what they were, but I can’t count how many sleepless nights I had thinking them over. It wasn’t until my sixteenth birthday I learned what they were. I found Joon in the lake taking a bath one night, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to his form as I got closer he turned around. The moonlight hit his skin perfectly, he was glimmering with light. He was like the sun that could light up any darkness.

I could blush now just remembering the way he looked at me, the animalistic way he came towards me, with his wolfish grin and stalking movements. I felt like the stranded sheep in the hay fields, facing the red wolf alone.

That night I realized my attraction towards the man I called brother, and I allowed him to take me that night. We became lovers in secret, a hidden love could know about. We kept this for two years, and now after our life seemed to be perfect. I am facing him on this forsaken grass plane, to try and kill him. I am to kill the man I love and who loves me. Am I to forget everything? Every kiss, every embrace? The times he took care of me, the times he made me laugh they mean nothing?

“I will not fight him father” I tried to stand back up, yet only to be kicked down by my father again. I looked to my left, at Joon; I could tell he was trying to not come save me. He didn’t want our secret to be found out just as much as I did.

“It is you’re duty to do as you’re told! If you decline one more time, I have no choice but to kill you!” My father yelled from above me, kicking me repeatedly in my ribcage. I spluttered blood from each kick; this still wasn’t as bad as the feeling of my heart breaking. I will not kill the man I love.

“AHHHHH, FINE!” I leapt from the ground with my sword and ran towards Joon, tears spilling out the corner of my eyes. I’m sorry Joon, but this is the only way. With enough time to spare several smoke screen bombs slid from my sleeve into my hand. I was going to use this later to show Joon I mastered how to use them, I guess now would be better than later.  Before I reached Joon, I threw them just a few feet in front of him so I could escape. Anything is better than killing you, even leaving you forever, sounds like a better ending. Right Joon?

As soon as the smoke covered me and him, I ran up to him for one last kiss. His arms wrapped around me in an embrace like no other. Our lips interlocked, our tongues intertwined. This would be the last time he held me and I think he knew this. His tears meshed with mine as they fell to the ground.

“I love you Joon” I said between each kiss.

“I know Mir, now go” he stopped and kissed my forehead, “the smoke will be gone soon.” He pushed me away just in time for me to notice the receding smoke.

Sniffling I nodded my head and dropped low to the ground in the tall grass, crawling my way out of my field and onto a dirt road. I ran away, I ran from Joon like he was fire. You were my sun; I always tried to find your light, now I feel like I’m running towards the darkness.

“Very dark indeed” My eyes snapped opened the sun was up and birds were chirping outside the tent I was in.

“Thank goodness, I was beginning to think you would never wake up from that dream. Seemed to me like a really bad nightmare. No matter, welcome back to the living, brother” Changmin, possibly the worst person to be in the same room with, is still the best doctor the Koga has. Right now I’m wishing he wasn’t, it’s been three years since I’ve seen Joon, same for the dream they stopped after I found the clan.

Just a little longer, I would have liked to be with him.