‘Cause I don’t know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag my head first, fearless.
And I don’t know why but, with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless.
Fearless – Taylor Siwft
Did I do something stupid once again? That was one question that popped in my head when I woke up this morning in someone else’s bed. But as I remember everything that has happend last night in Gerald's bed with his arms around me and that kiss that almost turned wild, it feels so good. I merely had 5 hours sleep but I feel so right. So right I forgot the last time someone broke my heart and how worst that felt. Last night right there and then I forgot every morals I contain. I forgot I'm inexperienced in the field of intimicy. And even right there at that moment, I was willing to let it all go, give it all to him. But it never came to that point. Gerald was a man of his words that what his feelings for me is more than just the physical attraction.
Is this for real, a guy treating me this way? For 19 years of my existance, I have known the different types of guys in this world, almost all the same, like 1.) The guy that will say I-love-you and all those too-cheesy words in no minute, will chase after you for some time but will end once you make a move of interest towards him, or 2.) that guy who seem to be perfect but will only chase after you to get under your sheets, there also is 3.) that guy who will trully love you, but will eventually fall –out of love too, and of course, I believe that there is 4.) That guy that will be your ending with, the guy that was made perfect for you, the one you were destined to spend your forever with, effortlessly. I have met those three types of guys, bunch. And of course I was looking forward to meet that type #4 guy. I thought it would take me forever, to find that guy who would want to be with me not because I’m like this and that, but because he feels this way for me. I have finally met him, I guess. And now his eyes are on mine. Now he’s already mine.
Gerald's mom came into his room and saw me. I feel like it was my dad, bursting with anger over something stupid I did. She didn’t say anything so far, so at least, I’m fine. Gerald assured me that these will all gonna be alright. We went down hand in hand to go through his mom's interrogation. Is it his hand that was holding mine or something? ‘Cos I'm not afraid, I don't know why.
His mom saw us, he looked at Gerald first and smiled as she was approaching.
‘Darling I'm so sorry about earlier. I was just.. I don't know. RJ has never brought a girl at home yet, ever. My son's so..’ ‘Agh. Mom!’ Gerald interrupted his mom and acted a little annoyed. She just ignored his son. ‘Anyway. Am.. I'm Vangie, Vangie Anderson.' His Mom is really a filipino. She smiled and took my hand. ‘You are?’
‘Kimberly Chiu po..’ I smiled shyly. ‘Wow. Chinay to! Mother mo yung Pinoy noh?’
‘Opo.’ I smile wide. and she did too..Gerald was dazzled with what we were talking. I laughed at myself for the oppurtunity to speak Filipino again, here in Missouri, in Anderson’s. ‘C'mon let's have breakfast first.’ She drags me and Gerald to sit in their dinning table.
It was just the three of us on the table and the breakfast was touched with Filipino dishes I love. Me and Gerald's mom talked about stuffs in Philippines. She was fun to talk with. She even invited me to go with her to church later, since we are all Catholic. And I did agree. It was pretty obvious then that there never was any interrogation, after all.
After I shower and changed to my own clothes Gerald took me to my apartment. We get to the management to open my door for me. I let Gerald came in to my apartment and offerred him something to drink. We sit on the couch. He was akwardly silent, seriously looking with his head down. I wonder what he's thinking. I face him. ‘What's wrong?’‘Kimberly..’ he grabbed both of my hands and looked me in my eyes. ‘My mom already dragged you in her stuffs, I didn't even get to ask you if it doesn't bother you..’ ‘Ofcourse not. I miss going to church and besides I like your mom!’ He still looks serious I don't know how far I need to convince him that it doesn't really bother me. That it really feels good to go out with them. And that I really wanted to go to church. ‘I want you to be my girlfriend. Tell me anything I need to do. I don't know the stuffs you prefer in dating. And I’m not expert myself in dating actually. But just tell me. Just please don’t push me away from you. I'll do everything. From the first time I laid my eyes on you I already wanted to spend every piece of my life with you.’
Wow. I never had love confession like this before. I can't believe he's saying these. He has shown every good way to me since then, but it feels sureal now that he's saying these. It's such a quick time. A tiny part of me tells me this is wrong that his words are gonna kill me someday, but my whole heart embraces him. My brain is even telling me that those words he just said, they are all produced from his heart.
He eyed me nervously. Why does he look so good even with his troubled-brown eyes? I smiled at the notion of the things I wanted to do next. That notion of letting love overpower me. The notion of being fearless. I grab the back of his head and I kissed him. Passionately as how I really feel for him. Like I wanted to engrave those words he just said into my lips. ‘I love you Gerald..’ I once paused to breath. He has has put his hand behind my back and began kissing me back. ‘I love you too. So much my chinese angel. You're mine now.’ He kissed the top of my head and hugged me for.. like forever.
-- END of Chapter TWELVE, KIM's POV. --