I watched proudly as the model walked glamorously on the catwalk. I could hear murmurs around me as they praised how perfect the dress designed. "Perfect choice of the cloth." "It will be the trend again for this year." "Her skill is really undoubted."

 

I moved aside from my hidden place, feeling satisfied with their comments about me. I went back to the place behind the catwalk and waited for the last model to walk back. After a few seconds, my secretary gave me the clue. I started to step on it with my heels, looking as dazzling as the models behind me.

 

"Here she is." "The almighty Kim Nara." "At first, I thought she was the model." However, the whispers went down when I started to talk. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming here and watching all the clothes designed by me. I hope I can see you again in the other fashion show." I smiled. "See you!"

 

The chauffeur opened the door for me and I stepped in to the limousine. He closed the door after my secretary came along behind me. "Ms. Kim, your schedule for today has ended. What would you have as a dinner?"

 

"Do you have any recommendation?" I asked her while looking at the window. Lots of people was still passing by in street. "I heard from someone about this restaurant who has lots of delicious food. Would you give it a try?"

 

"Okay." I was still not looking at her. "As long as it's not some cheap restaurant."

 

"Yes, Ms. Kim." she said obediently. "I know you have a very high taste."

 

____________________________________________________

 

Seven years ago..

 

"Wish me luck!" I waved excitedly at my parents from afar.

 

That day was the day I have been waiting for so long. My chance to become a famous model shortened one step and finally, I could go to Seoul. "You look so happy today." He chuckled while keep pedaling the bike. "Of course, I am!" I stretched out my left arm to feel the wind and held on the side of his waist to keep me safe. "I'm so happy and excited at the same time."

 

"It's good then. Ah.. will you miss me?" He said with a tease in his voice. "You know that I will miss you, right?" I responded. "You are my best friend, Baek. Let's send mail to each other." He laughed at me, "Of course."

 

We arrived at the station. It was noisy as the train to my destination only went in Monday. Lots of people were also going to Seoul like me. Baekhyun brought my bag and I held onto his other hand as we were walking. "Here. You should search your seat." I nodded, still eager to say goodbye. In the end, when the train start moving, I could only wave at him.

 

He was beside my window and I whispered sadly, "See you, Baekhyun..we will meet again." I knew no one wanted to say goodbye, but he brought himself to say it to me. Baekhyun ran a little to catch up with the train and yelled, "Bye..Nara. Take care." And he smiled, until I couldn't see his figure anymore.

 

_____

 

I arrived at Seoul and looked lots of people rushing here and there. Lots of workers, students and tourist were walking in the fast pace. I moved up by the escalators and saw lots of taxi lined up in front of the entrance. I got into one of them and told the address to the driver.

 

We passed lots of skyscraper building and I stared in awe. "Wow.." Not long after, we arrived at the small building. I gave him the money and stepped out. "This is the key. Just come to me if you need anything," the lady landlord said nicely to me. "Thank you."

 

I stepped in and looked around my new house. I sighed in relief, it was good that I have rented this place before. I knew I would spend the next three months here. So, I placed my bag and changed to the more comfortable clothes. I was glad there were already some things provided. Then, I started to clean all the parts of the small apartment.

 

On the next day, I went and asked some fashion boutique about the chance to be their model. I gave them my photo and a paper with my name, the address, and the lady landlord's phone number that I have asked the permission. I waited and searched for the next days, but no one called me. The money I have also kept decreasing for my daily need. So I chose to be a part-time waiter in one of the cafe.

 

But after two weeks, I started to lose my hope. No one tried to contact me. Maybe, I should go and ask them again. _____

 

One month had passed and I found myself still crying in the corner of the room. I cried day and night. I felt upset, angry, sad, all of it at the same time. The hurtful words kept hunting my mind over and over from the past two weeks.

 

"You are not suit to be the model. Don't step into this place anymore."

 

What was wrong with that woman, I couldn't understand it. Everyone in my village said that I was beautiful. I have a white milky skin. I have the big eyes that everyone adore. I have the long legs. I have.. I have everything.

 

I didn't dare to reply the letters from my parents or even Baekhyun. I was afraid I would give up and go back. But, there was something that made me open the letter from him again. I didn't know why I flipped the paper. I felt so stupid to not do it earlier, because there I saw the words written nicely by him.

 

P.S. Even if you have the hard time there, don't give up. You can't give up that easily, Nara..

 

I choked in my own tears and a warm feeling rushed into my body. Baekhyun.. he knew me so well. I closed my eyes and let the tears of relief flew out from my eyes.

 

After some minutes in silence, I wiped the tears from my face and chuckled. He was right, I couldn't give it up so easily. Then I thought, it also has been days since I didn't show up in the cafe. I knew, probably I got fired now.

 

I plopped down myself on my bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Now, what should I do? I struggled in my own mind about my next plan here. Seoul is a big metropolitan city and I need to work on something to keep me alive.

 

For the next days, my life only kept cycling in the same things. Sleeping, eating, sleeping and thinking again. There was no idea or light bulb popping on my head. I kept tossing to left and right in the night, but there was no dream that I got.

 

That day, I was sulking again beside my window while thinking over and over about nothing. I didn't bring my high school diploma, so the chance to get work became more hard. I sighed again for the thousand time in that day. Stupid me.

 

I was looking at the clothes that scattered on the floor beside the cupboard and that thought formed in my head. Why didn't I try to make it? It has been my hobby to make my own clothes or dresses back then. So, it wouldn't be that hard right? All I need was some cloth, a sewing machine, and a design that popular that time.

 

So, after spending my last saving for the things I need, I started to work. A tiny feeling of the hope made my energy burning again. Design, measure and sew. Design, measure, and sew. I did it straight for the next three days and twenty kinds of blouse, skirt and clothes were ready to sell.

 

Ignoring the eye bags I have, I prepared myself a bit and went to walk around my neighborhood. I knocked on the different doors with a bags full of my clothes' creation. "Hello," I greeted them politely. Then, I told them what I brought in my bag. Some declined, while some opened the door for me.

 

The profit was double from that saving and I found myself smiling again in the end of the day. "Maybe.. I should do it again," I whispered. I picked up a bullpen and began writing to my parents and Baekhyun.

 

With the new spirit, I started my newborn dream from the zero level.

 

_____

 

She was just closing her small boutique when a car stopped in front of her. A short man with a fashionable look stepped out from it and greeted her. "Good evening, Ms. Are you Kim Nara?" She eyed him carefully and answered, "Do you need something from me?"

 

"Ah.. Nice to meet you, I am Park Jinsoo," he bowed down a little. "I have an interesting deal to discuss with you. Maybe we should get into the car first."

 

"Um.. sorry, but we barely know."

 

"I see.. then, my bodyguards will bring out the chairs for us." As if on the cue, two big mans in suit stepped out with the chairs and stood up beside him. "Let's sit." I followed his movement.

 

"I heard that there is this small boutique who becomes famous for this past months. So, I told my secretary to find their design that attracts lots of females' attention and it made me nodded in awe." He turned to look at me. "I admitted your design was really good and fresh, Ms. Kim. But, It would be such a pity if you didn't want to develop this business of yours."

 

"What is your true intention, Mr. Park? You can just tell it straight to me."

 

"Well," he smiled lightly. "Let's be a business partner. I can help you with the money to make the bigger boutique and we will divide the profit."

 

She knew it was a big step for her future. So, she was silence for a few seconds. Then, she nodded. "Let's talk about the agreement tomorrow, Mr. Park."

 

The deal that she made really made a big shot in that country. And for years, she never regretted her decision. Not until that time.

 

She was walking out from the airport entrance with her chin held high. Lots of reporters have been waiting to ask for her another fashion show that took place in Paris this time. She just faked a smile at the camera while saying nothing. Her secretary would take care of press conference like the usual, while she was planning to make her body rest. "Go," she told the driver as her limousine moved on the road.

 

She just took a nice bath when there was a knock on her apartment's door. She let the door open for her secretary and went back to her kitchen. "I got some letters for you, Ms." She looked up from her smart phones and asked uninterestedly, "Who? Byun Baekhyun again?"

 

"Yes, Ms. I will put the letters here and go to the press conference." She whispered with a smile before the door closed, "Have a nice day, Ms."

 

It has been three months since she didn't get any letters from Baekhyun or even her parents. In the three last letter, they asked her to go home. They said they missed her. But the fashion things really made her busy and she found herself always rejected it.

 

At first, she felt a little bad for never give a visit to the hometown in this seven years. But like what she have said, she didn't really have the time to do that. Shaking her head, she thought maybe she could finally go back for few days. Since the schedule was not so busy this month.

 

She took out the paper from the envelope and started reading. Her eyes moved down slowly as she read the words by words. In the middle of the letter, she gasped. Her eyes widened as a single tear escaped from her left eye. A single tear followed by other and now, some of its drops stained the paper. But she didn't care. She just continued to read, until there was no word left for her.

 

She clenched her fist on her lap. Her breath became more uneven as the guilt surrounded her heart. Her heart was crying. The ground she was stepping now felt like a fragile glass that could break anytime. Kim Nara was falling to another dark hole.

 

She have realized if that didn't do to dwell on her dream, so she ran for another dream

 

But she trapped again in another hole as she forgot to love. She forgot to love those precious people around her. And she just realized this thing when she lost them for the infinity.

 

_____

 

(Baekhyun's letter)

 

Dear, Nara..

 

I hope everything is going well. I don't know how should I tell you this sad news.. Please forgive me for just telling you now. Your parents made me promise to do it. I'm sorry, Nara..

 

All this time, both of your parents were suffering in cancer. Little bit I know, they let you went to Seoul because they wanted to watch you reach your dream before they die. Some months ago when you rejected to go home, I only saw them smiled sadly at your letter. It was strange how they even didn't look mad or angry. But then I knew the truth. Few days later, one of your maid screamed in the cloudy morning, everyone in the village heard her scream. I ran into your house and saw lots of people already surrounded your parents' room. I parted the crowds and there, I saw they hugged each other in their last breath. They looked peaceful and as I touched their cold skin, I couldn't feel any heart beat anymore.

 

They are in heaven now..

 

I tried to contact you, but your maid came and gave me two envelopes. One was for me and the other was for you. I read what was mine and they told me to not tell you yet. They knew that they would die soon, so they asked me to ask you to come home again. Right after three months of their funeral.

 

There was no hint of anger in their words. They just..missed you. They just wanted you to visit them.. So come back, Nara.. They have another words to you in the letter I keep safe with me.

 

Please, this time.. Go home..