Your mind was screaming. You felt so bad. Bad feelings didn't give you to a space to breath. You needed free space around you. You couldn't go home. Tears started to flood over your cheeks.

It was a cold and normal winter night. You had been taking a walk. But then all the pain, painful memories which you always tried to hide came back. It was snowing. You stopped and looked the white beautiful snow. Snowflakes soared through the air. You always loved snow.
You knew you were such a fool. You might have hidden your feelings and the pain which you always carried with you from others. But not from yourself. Darkness around you made you feel desperate. You just wanted to scream all the pain away. Inside of you you knew that it wouldn't help. You were alone on your own private hell.

You opened the mental wounds again. You downright reap all the wounds open to remember every one of them. Every painful memory. You cried. All of this was too much for you to handle. It takes you. Your soul was weak and broken. You wrapped your arms around you. You try to keep yourself entire.
All the memories and emotions poisoned your mind. You saw them like a movie in front of you. There is so much pain, sadness, regret, shame, a lot of emotions which you can't properly even describe on words. Words have not enough power to tell the true behind the memories. Your legs deceived. You take your head in your hands. Your face were wet. You cannot see anything around you. You have lost control. The anguish and frustration eat live from your soul.

You felt cold. Your jeans was totally wet and your skin is getting ice cold. You sit in the snow and hope that there would be the end. End of pain. Something escape. You have cried a lot. You haven't even got tears anymore. You haven't got any idea how long you have been there. Cold North wind blows. Frost was emerging.

You stood up and went to your grandfather's grave. You cleaned gravestone. Your eyes were full of intolerable sadness. You stood there and stare at the gravestone. After all the pain and you felt, only hopeless and endless emptiness. You were in the trap. You knew the truth. Dead not come back. Wanna you it or not. They never will come back. Your eyes were full of tears again. You were at the limits of your powers. On verge. Your mental could break whenever.
You have always been envy for people whose have grandparents alive. You hated to hear it when people complain about their grandparents or how their have to meet them every weekend. You can't stand it that people talk about it so arrogantly like it would be the most complicated and annoying thing in life. You though they are so lucky. Because you will never know what kind of it would be to have grandparents. You never have allowed to experience the love from grandparents. Your throat felt so dry.  You wondered what kind of your life would be if your grandparents will be alive.

This aren't reality which you wanted. Graveyard was empty. You looked around and saw something. In the shadows next to the church. You shaked your head and looked at there again. There aren't nothing if don't count a one white cat. You felt lonelier than ever.

The sky was full of snowflakes and graveyard's ground dyed to white. It looks like the snowflakes were with each others. It looks so pretty. So adorable. You enjoyed a lot about frost weather. You felt the fresh air's coldness in your lungs. It calms you a bit and made you feel comfy. You always feel like you are really alive when your skin have became frozen and you could feel coldness around you. Your legs were got frostbitten. You don't feel anything on your legs. You like to torture yourself like this. You deserve it.  It makes you feel so light and relaxed.  And the most important it makes you feel a bit less pain.
The song "Take Me Away" stuck in your head. Situation was perfect to the song. You sang the lyrics out loud: "Somebody take me away 'cuz I can't take this pain." You closed your eyes.  You don't wanna go home. Not like this. You can't control your emotions enough yet. If you go home you have to start act your role in family.  Being super kind, happy, oldest child. You have to pretend that everything is okay. And you have been tired of it. To pretend to be someone else. You just wanna be yourself.

Your family don't accept you as you are. Your family never talk about difficult things. That's why you have so many scars. When your last grandmother died you was six. Mom just told you that she is dead. You never talked about it more. All other grandparents of yours have died before you was turn on two years old.

You feel the hole in your chest. You started to breath heavily. You have been alone with these feelings too far.    
You heard steps behind you. You turned around so quickly that you almost fell. When you got your balance back you looked in front of you. He looked straight to your eyes. You saw the deep emotions in his gently eyes. He was crying.Then suddenly you walk in front of him enough near to hug him. You wrap your arms around his back. He put his hands around your waist.

Both of you are crying on the graveyard under the snowy night sky. Your tears freeze on your cheeks. You hugged to each other so tightly that you can feel his body's heat. You sighed calmly. You leaned your head towards his shoulder. You don't wanna break the silence with the empty words.
"You shouldn't be here jagi. It is very cold. And being in the graveyard at this time is dangerous." he whispered to your ear.  He was still sobbing a bit. "I'm so sorry. I don't meant to hurt you oppa." you answered honestly. You pets his fluffy hair. "How do you know where I would be?"
He looked over your shoulder, sighed and looked into your eyes. "I don't know. I just listened to my heart. It said that I have to find you jagi.  And you will often come here when you feel sad. I have seen the sadness in your eyes for awhile."

You put your head down. He rises your head in both hands very carefully. Your eyes meet each others. Then he kissed you. The kiss was confident but gently. Your lips searched to each other. It was fantastic. Kiss was full of passionate and warm young love. You don't need to know anything more. Words would just destroy the moment. the body language was all which two of you needed to know. You put your hand in his hair and the other one to his neck. You can felt how fast his heartbeat rose. He was as near you as he could be. His hands was doing figures on your back. Even if out was very cold all what both of you felt was heat.

Even if your the first kiss was over too soon, you just stand there with him forgetting everything else. Only you and him. You hugged each others very tightly. Both of you breath heavily. You give him your the brightest smile. You saw how happiness shines from his eyes like a over flooding river.
"You saved me Hoon oppa." you whispered into his ear. "That's why I am here jagi." he answered kindly and kissed your forehead. He looked deep into your eyes.  Then both of you said in the same time: "Saranghaeyo."