Are You Happy?

Never in Minhyun’s life did he imagine living with his twin brother in Seoul.

He’s peacefully living with his parents in Busan when they said that it’d be better if he joins his brother in the busy city. He didn’t like it and swore that he’d never like it but he couldn’t complain. They reasoned that there are a lot of good universities there, better than what they have in Busan, and he could help his twin brother in whatever he’s doing. But that’s where the problem lays, his brother.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves his brother so much but they are so different. His brother is a very intelligent student, he loves studying and everything that connects with it. Minhyun used to love studying, he really did, but his love for it tragically ended when he found out his love for music. He sings, he writes songs, and he sometimes got paid by doing so. While he continued doing what he loves, he didn’t notice that he’s failing at school. Their parents always compared him to his lovely brother, him being this and doing that while Minhyun’s just waiting for something that’ll never come in Busan.

The competition became so heated when his brother got accepted in a prestigious university in Seoul. He moved to the capital leaving Minhyun with his parents in Busan. Three months after his brother settled in the city they got a call from him saying that he didn’t need his parents’ money anymore. He got a job near his apartment and the university gives his monthly allowance on time. He’d just call if ever he’ll need help and if he’s not okay. He misses them a lot, especially Minhyun, and he’ll visit as soon as the vacation starts. After the call his parents seemed to have a mental conversation and then Minhyun’s father told him that he should follow his brother in Seoul.

And that’s how he ended up in front the door of his brother’s apartment.

He knocks once, twice, thrice but there’s still no answer. Looking at his wristwatch and seeing that it’s just 4:30PM, he concludes that it’s too early for his brother to be home. But he can’t wait outside, he’s not a very patient person to begin with. Back in Busan, when one of them goes out and their parents’ aren’t home, they hide the key on a pot. But there are no pots, even so, Minhyun searches for the key and after 15 minutes he feels something on the top of the door frame. Bingo! And as soon as he opens the door he welcomes himself home.

He finds the house boring. It looks like a typical house. And typical is boring in Minhyun’s eyes. He wanders a bit and sees that the house’s a bit messy but what will he expect? It’s his brother and his always like that, but Minhyun doesn’t like mess, so unconsciously, he starts picking up his brother’s scattered clothes and he searches for a broom. When he sees one, he immediately swipes the floor, making sure that no trash will remain. At 5PM, Minhyun finishes cleaning the living room to the kitchen and he felt proud of himself. He then goes to another door and it’s locked, so he concludes that it’s his brother’s room. He doesn’t like others coming inside his personal space without his permission so Minhyun backs off and decides to wait on the couch.

Minhyun didn’t notice that he fell asleep until he’s awaken by someone squeezing his body too tight that he thought he’ll die if that somebody continues squeezing him that way. He opens his eyes and sees a mop of blonde hair. When that blonde seems contented he raises himself and welcomes Minhyun half lidded eyes with his big ones.

“Minhyunnie! You’re here! At last you’re here! I’m very lonely, you know! It’s hard living alone and…”

Minhyun eyes the blonde figuring out who the hell he is. The blonde continues to talk but he isn’t listening, he’s too engrossed in knowing who the blonde is. Then it clicked. Big dark-brown eyes, pointy nose, perfectly heart-shaped lips, pale white skin, this blonde, it shouldn’t, it can’t be, “Minki? Minki is this you?!”

Don’t laugh at Minhyun. He has a twin brother but they don’t look alike, they’re actually the opposites of each other. He has small foxy eyes, his lips aren’t heart-shaped and he is a lot taller than the other. The differences are so obvious that they some thought that they’re not twins. But this time it is a lot more different.

“Ya! You can’t recognize your own twin brother anymore? And here I think you missed me a lot, too. Like you’ll feel what I feel and—“

“No, no, I mean, why, how, you’re blonde? You know our parents’ don’t like us ruining our hair right? Let me guess, you have a tattoo, too, right? You aren’t studying anymore, r—“

“Ya! I just, come on Minhyun, I’m finally on my own, so at least do what I like right? I didn’t change much! Just, just this hair and that’s all. I wanna rebel a bit. This,” Minki said, pointing on his blonde shoulder-length hair, “is our secret, okay?”

Minki goes to the kitchen and Minhyun follows. The blonde opens the fridge and then looks at Minhyun, “What do you want to eat?”

“You know how to cook? Like seriously, since when?” Minhyun asked. Both of them can’t cook and they conclude that cooking isn’t for them.

“No, there are frozen goods here,” Minki said while searching inside the fridge, “and Kimchi, and cake! And oh,” he now closes the fridge and goes to the cabinet above the kitchen sink, “and I have ramyeon, too. Bread, some chips—“

Minhyun chuckled and that made the blonde stop talking. The blonde looks at him with wide eyes, that look he usually does when he can’t answer a certain math problem back when they’re in high school, and Minhyun, knowing what the other’s curious about, says, “Is that what smart people eat, Minki? All of it are instant, are those even healthy?”

“No, but I eat at my workplace and at the university so I seldom eat here. No need to learn cooking, right? So what do you want to eat?”

“Can’t we just eat outside? It’s been so long since we’ve bonded, okay, so yeah?”

“It’s okay as long as you’ll pay!”

***

It’s been a month since Minhyun starts leeching off his twin brother. He sure can’t enroll for this semester anymore, so he just stays in the house and clean. That’s one of his specialties anyway. But then he feels like he’s really just off his brother’s income, so one day he decides to search for a job, or jobs, if he’s lucky enough to find one.

He inquires his brother for advice and is actually shocked to hear his suggestion.

“You sing, right? Why don’t you audition? I mean, there are a lot of entertainment companies here in Seoul. There’s no problem for you, I mean, you’re tall, handsome, you sure have the talent. Minhyun, you’re closer to your dreams now! I can’t believe you aren’t pursuing it here.”

“But you know I can’t, right? Our parents will be angry and I am not stable here, yet, so I can’t really think of that thing I love the most for now.”

“Woah, what happened to you? Back in Busan you’re so eager to chase your dream and now that it’s close you aren’t grabbing it?”

Minhyun tries to answer but nothing left his lips. He really like it, when his brother mentioned it his heart skipped a beat. But when he came here and started living with his brother he realized that it’s, indeed, hard to live on their own. No parents to provide for everything they need and want. They aren’t on a place they can really call their own. They’re strangers here, they speak Busan accent when together, Minhyun isn’t even confident to speak in the normal accent so he seldom comes out. He also sees his brother working while studying and he thinks that it’s really hard. Now that he’s with the blonde, he added to the number of mouths needed to be filled, and he feels like he’s a burden.

“Minki, why aren’t you angry that I lived with you all of a sudden?”

“Come on Minhyun, why would I? I missed you and I love my twin brother so much that I’m willing to share what I have with him.” Minki said and smiled at Minhyun.

Minhyun knows that his brother loves him so much. The blonde supported him in everything he does, the blonde helped him correct his lyrics, the blonde let him copy his answers on their homeworks back when they’re in high school because he understands Minhyun, his passion for music and he sees that his brother has a bright future ahead of him.

Minhyun, on the other hand, loves his brother, too. So much even, that he can put his emotion called jealousy aside when they’re together. He’s pressured because of Minki and he hates it so much. The difference between the two of them is just too much that Minhyun can’t handle it. He wants to hate Minki but he knows he can’t, after all, when all else fails, Minki’s still there.

Because he believes Minhyun.

And all Minhyun can do, for now, is help his brother while planning on how to reach that dream of his.

“Minki-ya, I’ll work for now. I’ll try to find a good job and help you with the house. I’ll save for my plan, too.” he determinedly said.

“Save for what? Plan what?”

“For chasing my dreams, stupid.”

***

Minhyun started looking for a job and it’s already noon but he found none, so far. They have a lot of requirements, you should be this, you should be that, but he isn’t any of those. He decided to rest on a coffee shop near his brother’s university and he ordered an iced coffee. It’s exceptionally hot that day. After taking his first sip, he phoned his brother and said that he’s near, so he asked if he wants to have some coffee making sure that he added my treat so that the blonde will agree.

He waits while drinking the coffee. He’s hungry too but he needs to wait for his brother before ordering. He has no job, he is not studying, but he still gets allowance from his parents so he still has the money to spend. He didn’t ask them to stop giving him because it’s their fault that he’s with Minki, anyway. And the money from them can help, so he kept it that way.

When his cup’s half-filled already, Minki came.

“Hey, I’m sorry if it took me so long, just have to run some errands so yeah, what will we eat? I’m hungry.” the blonde said as he plopped down the chair across his twin.

“You choose.”

“Uhh, I want this cheesecake and an iced coffee, too. It’s so hot!”

“Okay. Let’s have that. Are you sure it’s enough? You have class until 6PM, right?”

“It’s enough. I’ll eat inside again, don’t worry.”

And so they ordered and waited for their food to be served. While waiting, Minhyun contemplates on whether to ask Minki that thing that’s bothering him for a while now and he decides to ask, nothing to lose.

“Minki, is it really required that you can speak English before you can be hired in a job?”

“Hmm?”

“I went job-searching a while ago, right? And they always ask if I can speak English. I can but I am not fluent so I answer them that I can’t and then it’s done. They won’t ask anything anymore.”

“Oh. I think so, they asked me too and I answered that I can. You can’t find a job because of that?”

Minhyun nodded. It’s really hard finding a job because of his poor English speaking skills. Funny thing, he just applied for coffee shops, souvenir shops, and music bars, so why do they need someone with excellent English speaking skills?

“Read English magazines, buy English dictionaries, watch English shows. Practice. It’ll help a lot.” Minki said.

“It’s too hard! And I don’t have all the time and resources to do that, you know?”

“Why don’t you hire a tutor? I mean, Mom and Dad still gives you money, right? Spend some in learning English, that’ll help.” Minki suggested.

“I’m too old for that!” Minhyun retorted.

“Then find an older tutor. Duh! If you really want to learn you’ll find a lot of ways. Our university has this program where you can choose a tutor that’ll suit you and your taste, so yea, wanna join me when I come back, I just can’t help you in choosing someone because I still have classes.”

Minhyun still doesn’t want to come, but his brother has a point, besides, he can’t do it all alone! He still has a hard time speaking the capital way and now he’ll study English alone, that is impossible. He didn’t really think that living here isn’t hard but now the Seoul-life is kicking his so hard that he’s stumbling. But for his dream, for his brother, and in order to prove himself to his parents, he needs to survive.

“Are you in?”

And Minhyun nods.

****

This is his first day as a student, again, and he can’t help but feel so nervous. He feels like he’s stepping the school for the first time that his palms are sweating. He is waiting for his tutor to come and it sure takes him so long, but Minhyun is just early because he went with his brother. He’ll be studying in the same university as his brother, but not as an official student but a student of a university teacher-in-training. Then the twins will go home together, to have some tteokbokki on the way, and maybe for Minhyun to let out all of his frustrations.

“Are you Minhyun-sshi?” a boy, or man, with thick eyebrows, black hair, eyes that’s surely bigger than his, wearing a simple striped shirt and a pair of pants, asked.

Minhyun just looks at the man and shows no interest so the stranger sits himself beside Minhyun and says, “I’m Kwak Aron, I’m your English tutor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for ignoring you, I just don’t talk to strangers, I’m Minhyun.”

“Okay, so, let’s begin Minhyun-sshi.”

The lesson went well, Aron is a good English speaker but he still isn’t a fluent Korean speaker. At first it’s hard because Minhyun’s Busan accent sounded like a foreign language to Aron, so Minhyun tried so hard to speak the Seoul way. Because it’s the first day, they just had the basics, and some phrases or words Minhyun really needs to know. His reason in studying is because he’s searching for a job, so Aron tries to just limit it there so it won’t be so hard.

He looks at his clock and sees that it’s 5:55PM, 5 more minutes until the first day is over.

“Minhyun-sshi, I think it’s okay to go home now. You’ve done so well on the first day, see you on Friday.” Aron said as he began to fix his things on the table.

“Okay, thank you Aron-sshi.”

And with that, Aron leaves him on the table. He follows Aron until he reaches the door, just on time when his twin brother comes inside. Aron bumps onto Minki and immediately apologize. Minhyun notices that Aron’s stoned. He’s like glued to the floor as he eyes Minki, and Minhyun then decided that he doesn’t like Aron anymore.

“Ya, how’s the first day?” Minki asks as he lightly punches his brother.

“Oh. We’re okay. Let’s go!” and without wasting any second he drags his twin brother outside, noting that Aron is still standing on that spot where he and Minki bumped each other.

“Why are we hurrying?”

“I’m very hungry and learning English drained my energy, really. Let’s go okay. Don’t complain.”

Maybe Aron finds Minki pretty? He can’t blame the poor man, Minki is really pretty. The last time he saw his twin in Busan, he had short black hair and his cheeks are still chubby that he looks so cute. Now, with Minki’s blonde hair and sharp features he can’t help but say that his brother’s really pretty. In a short span of time, his brother begins to change so much and he doesn’t know what to feel. Should he be happy for his brother?

“Minki-ya.”

“Hmm?”