Unbeta-ed. Thanks for reading my failed attempt of angsty >~< 

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That we weren't so, that we would be different, was what I thought,

Even while knowing of separation, an unending love was what I expected,

As though separation had been waiting for me, like a planned story,

Like an unexpected rain, separation has made me cry.

 

 

“Junhyung ah~ Thanks for loving me as much as you can! I am so grateful to have someone as gentle and caring towards me like you did! I don’t think I can fall hard on someone else other than you! You know that I love you so much, right Junnie?” You were smiling so widely while outracing unknown line on my upfront shirt while lying down with me.

 

That was one of a sweet memory we had shared together but now it seems that you are happy enough with your new lover.

 

I knew it better that Dujun can take a good care of you than what had I have done though. After all he is such a sweet and handsome boyfriend that you could ever dream of.

 

He is way better than me. I am nothing to be compared to him to be truth.

 

I chuckled softly when recalled our sweet love story that now I buried it deep in my heart as a history of my life.

 

Even it has been 3 years since our separation; it seems that I am the only one who doesn’t move on yet. I don’t even know why it is so hard to overcome you. It is just my feeling for you too strong that I can’t to let you go.

 

You have no idea how many times I shed my tears when the past hits hard on me.

 

Like now, I am crying over and over again when see you from a far together with your handsome boyfriend again. Walking side by side and laughed so happily every time he making a joke.

 

I pray hard that I can be at his place right now and treasure the moments with you like before.

 

Am I not deserved to be happy? Is it a big sinful to get a happy life with the one I love?

 

 

Until you return, I'll wait,

Until you return, I'll cry for just a bit,

If it rains, whether they're tears or rainwater, no one will know.

 

 

“Seung, why can’t you accept me back? You know that I can’t leave without you? It is too much for me to handle this empty feeling without you by my side! It is too hardest for me.”

 

I am so pathetic in front of him now. I just couldn’t stop begging for the one whom I love so much to back to me.

 

“I will promise you that I will try my best to be a good boyfriend from now on if that what you hope from me. Just please Seung, give me another chance to love you again.”

 

I suppress my tears so he can’t even see a single of my tears threating to fall down anytime sooner.

 

“Junhyung, can we let the past just be the past? It’s just not same anymore. I can’t love you anymore. My love has changed and now I have Dujun, so please let me be happy with him.”

 

He walked closely towards me and brought me into his warm embrace. Oh God! How much I miss that warm body against me.  I nearly broke down but I hold on myself.

 

“I’m sorry Junhyung, human can change so does me. I’m sorry but I will never forget that I was once so in love with the handsome Yong Junhyung. Thanks for loving me until now. I’m sorry again.”

 

He kissed my forehead and holds my hand tightly before turn on his heels and walk away from my life.

 

Without I realized it, rain poured down hard and I let my unseen tears trailed down my cheeks along with the sad night.

 

 

Until when do I have to wait?

Until when do I have to hurt?

Even if I hurt enough to die and hurt even more, I'm going to wait,

Until you return.

 

 

Fate likes to play a lot with me. God always want to test my patience but I don’t think I can be strong for now. How can you be so cruel?

 

Where my kind-hearted Hyunseung has gone? You were no longer the old Hyunseung I ever known. You are such a cruel person. How could you let me feel as a bad as than what am I now?

 

I fall to the ground when I received your wedding invitation card with the photo of my only love with his goddess fiancé. How much I hate you now for doing this to me! Don’t you have any mercy on me? How could you, Jang Hyunseung?

 

My heart was hurting so bad that I could die now but why I can’t still find the reason to hate you? Someone, please tell me why?  

 

 

That it wasn't the end, that it wouldn't be the end, was what I thought,

Like an unexpected rain, separation has made me cry.

 

 

I hate the pathetic Yong Junhyung! I hate the stupid me! I hate everything about me when the only thing replaying in my mind is our memories.

 

I sleep with tears again that night with only you in my head.

 

 

Everything's just as it was,

The people are just as they were,

Then why in the world is the one I love not here.

 

 

I guess the flower has bloomed again, a bird chirping happily and leave me alone in my dark-own world that I have been created since you slipped away from me.

 

The happiness that I could felt before is now replaced with an empty feelings. I don’t know what the taste of happiness alike.

 

The only thing I know is how much painful I can endured and the image of you that keep replaying in my cloudy brain.

 

Nothing much has changed, but the only thing I sure that totally changed is you were no longer be mine.

 

 

That you only loved me, was what you said to me,

Let's be forever, was what you promised,

That you'd love only me even in death, you promised,

Don't Goodbye, Say Goodbye, Don't Goodbye.

 

 

 

I smiled faintly when looking through at our old photos when it was the first time we were going out for a date. You looked so nervous around me that I loved to tease you back then.

 

You cheeks easily getting rosy when I made fun of you and you hid your face so I couldn’t see your red face. Ah I missed those moments.

 

Then I take a looked at the photo of our couple ring. I had taken them during our 1^st anniversary. We also made a promised to love each other until death do us part.

 

You said, you will never look at another guy but me and I was the only one you want till the end of your life.

 

It’s me and only me in your heart.

 

But I guess everything changed just like you told me, Seung.

 

However, I still want to thanks to you for let me love this beautiful creature and being your lover once. Thank so much, my pretty Jang Hyunseung for everything.

 

Thanks again ........ Jang Hyunseung

 

 

My love, can be for only you,

My tears, can be for only you,

If a year passes, even if ten years pass, I'm going to wait for you.

 

 

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Inspired by FTIsland - Until You Return