T-ARA had just finished their schedule and they returned to their dorm.
Qri took a shower, then she laid on her bed and she thought of what was happened just before.
When she entered in the dorm, Qri smelled a scent that she hasn’t smelled for a long time. It was barely perceptible, like a long forgotten memory that resurfaced to mind, but she immediately recognized the sent. It was Hwayoung’s scent.
Even if it has been more than a year since she left the group, even now her presence (or rather, the absence of it) was still perceptible for Qri.
Overwhelmed by this wave of memories, she grabbed her phone and started to watch the pictures that she took with her.
Each picture reminded her a particular moment spent with her unnie and in each of them she was always happy, she enjoyed the time spent with Hwayoung.
Between all the girls Qri was the one that fans thought has more style (and this is undeniable), she was a bit ‘like a princess and Hwayoung was the only one that made her feel like that.

The nostalgia took over and Qri started to cry, at first she didn’t notice it, but to every memory that resurfaced to her mind, her crying became more and more violent and the pain that she felt became more unendurable, at the point that she started to bite hard on the pillow to contain her sobbing in order not to wake the other girls.

The next day, at T-ARA practicing rom:
“Yah! Stop day dreaming and start to concentrate on what you’re doing” Soyen yelled to Qri, scolding her because she kept getting wrong the choreography and the lyrics assigned to her.
But Qri’s mind was almost all day that was somewhere else, she kept thinking of what happened the last night. Why did she feel so much the absence of Hwayoung?
It wasn’t the first time that happened, she hated to admit it (because the other unnie have always behave well toward her), but sometimes she was lonely and she was attacked by a deep and dark sadness, like a driver who plunges into the depths of the ocean and when he looks up he can’t see even a glimmer of light.
She always had a good relationship with the other members, but between her and Hwayoung there was more intimacy. With her she felt more at ease, she was free to be herself without worrying about being criticized.

Passed few days Qri’s mood didn’t change, indeed the weight that she had in her heart became even more heavier and that was inevitably reflected on her.
During the practices she was always distracted, she intended more and more to isolate, she started to eat lesser and at night she couldn’t sleep.
In her mind there was always a still imagine of Hwayoung; her smile, her voice, the warmth of her body when she embraced her and the feeling that she felt when they were holding hands.

Assaulted by all the confusion in her mind Qri got out of her bed and went to drink something in the kitchen.
She picked something fresh from the fridge and looked at the time on her cellphone, 11:15 p.m., it was already more than a couple of hours that T-ARA had returned to their dorm and as it happened in the silence of those nights, broken only by the sound of the rain drops beating against the windows, here anxiety was amplified even more, without she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Qri now had understood, thought she tried to suppress it with all her might she couldn’t, what she felt towards Hwayoung went beyond the affection you feel towards a friend. But unfounded she had always know that, she had always tried to hide that feeling pretending that it was just a special sympathy toward this person, she was afraid that if she said what she felt to the other girls they would start to treat her differently. And what if she decided to confess her love to Hwayoung and the latter had refused her feelings? She would lost a person who meant a lot to her.
But now she couldn’t stand it anymore, now that pain and the remorse were became too strong to handle, so without even thinking about Qri dressed up, got out of the apartment, got in the car and started to dove.
At the first she drove aimlessly, then her path had finally found  a goal, she was going to Hwayoung’s house.

Qri arrived in front of the building where was Hwayoung’s apartament.
She got off her car and walked toward the entrance, she looked for the name ‘Ryu Hwayoung’ and when she found it she pressed the bell and she waited for an answer. After a couple of minute no one answered so she pressed the bell again but without result. Evidently she wasn’t home.
Qri went back to the car, she left the umbrella on the passenger sit and she stood still for some minutes, she couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted, no, she needed to see Hwayoung. Her feelings almost became a too heavy burden for her heart, so she decided to wait ‘till her return.

By then it had passed an hour and half and Qri was about to give up when she noticed the headlights of a car heads toward her direction and park a couple of places behind her.
Shortly after a person got off faster and opened the passenger sit to get an umbrella and then went to the entrance where she stopped to search something in her bag, probably the keys.
Qri was stiff, as soon as that person got off the car she realized who she was, there weren’t doubts, it was Hwayoung. The same Hwayoung for which she had spent the previous days to despairs now was right there a few meters away.
With her mind completely blurred Qri got out the car without even taking the umbrella, but she stopped at the beginning of the alleyway, she didn’t know what to do: would she have to embrace her? Or would she have to call her and say hello like nothing had happened?
She didn’t know, Her mind refused to cooperate, the only thing that she could focus was the figure back turned and half covered by the umbrella that was in front of her.

“Hwayoung ah…” she tried to call her, but her voice was so low that the sound of the rain covered it completely, almost to the point that she couldn’t ever hear what she had just said. But when she saw the girl pulling out the keys from her bag and opening the door Qri was overwhelmed by panic.
“Hwayoung ah!” now she had screamed that name so loud that when the other girl just heard it startled, then she turned around to see who called her and when she understood who it was on her face appeared a  startled expression: “Q-Qri unnie!” she said “What are you doing here at this time? Yah! Haven’t you see that it’s pouring? Where is your humbrell-…“
her words were cut by a pair of arms that were surrounded around her back and  hugging her tightly.

Qri was soaked wet, she staid still under the rain for all that time.(‘till that moment)
Seeing her face after that she called her name and earing her voice after a long time inhibited the little lucidity that remained to her, so without even thinking about it she ran toward Hwayoung and she hugged her the tighter she could.

“Neh~ unnie, are you ok? What are you doing here? Has something happened?... Unnie answer me!”
but Qri didn’t say anything. Everything that she wanted in that moment was being able to feel Hwayoung’s arms around her, smell her perfume and the warm of her body.
“Look, you’re soaked wet. C’mon, let’s go to my apartment or you will get sick” Hwayoung said and while she continued to keep one arm around her unnie’s shoulders she brought Qri inside the elevator and then inside her house.

Once they got in Hwayoung removed Qri’s jacket from her and she made her sit on the couch:
“Wait a second, I’ll be right back” she said, then she got up and entered in a room near the entrance.
Shortly after Hwayoung came back with a towel and a pair of clothes, she handed them to Qri, then she sat near her and started to dry her hair with the towel:

“Unnie listen to me” she said while she was pointing at a door on the right of the living room: “That’s my room, now you go there and put on this clothes while I’m going to prepare you something warm to drink, ok?”
Qri looked at the younger girl and just nodded, this did loos up a bit the tension on Hwayoung’s face and she made her way toward the cookers behind the kitchen counter.

Qri was changing in the bedroom, trying to dry up with the towel that was given to her.
The room wasn’t big: on the right wall there was a window, beneath which there was the bed and next to it there was a little bedside table with a rice paper lamp and a book on it.
On the other side there were a wooden desk and a wardrobe in front of her.
Qri put on the clothes, now the sent that hovered in all the house was on her too and her mind started focusing on Hwayoung’s  image, she was change a lot from the last time she saw her; now her hair were black and they had grown far beyond her shoulders.
She was wearing a checked shirt with under a white t-shirt a little unglued and her long legs were wrap in a pair of tight jeans, The girl that once was the maknae of T-ARA now she was clearly grown and she became very beautiful.
Finished changing she went out the room and saw Hwayoung who was turning her back while was arranging something on the kitchen counter.
“I prepared you some warm tea and some cookies in the case you’re hungry, unfortunately I couldn’t find anything better” Hwayoung said while rubbing her hair in an embarrassed way:
“Have you warned the other that you left?”
“Deh, I sent a message to Soyen unnie”
“Good, at last they won’t be worried”

When she was going to turn Hwayoung felt Qri’s arms around her waist and her forehead pressed onto her back.
“Unnie what’s append?”
Hwayoung turned around but Qri’s arms didn’t move from their position, indeed they narrowed their grip while she had her face hidden onto her chest.
Qri started sobbing and while she trembled the tears that she tried so hard to endure started to fall and gave no sign of stopping.
“Unnie~ are you ok? If something append you can tell me”
Hwayoung cupped Qri’s face with both her hands and she held it up to face her, but all of sudden she felt a pair of lips pressing against hers and by reflex she closed her eyes and her body stiffed all at once.

At the precise time when Hwayoung cupped her face Qri’s mind went off again, and before realizing it her hands were around the latter’s neck and their lips closed in a kiss.
When she realized what she had just done she slowly removed her lips and leaned her hands on Hwayoung’s shoulders, Qri’s head was bent toward the floor and on her face there was a shocked expression
‘What did I just do? I took advantage from the situation, that’s what I did. And now what will happen? What will I do if now she refused my feelings? I couldn’t bear it’ she thought.

They stayed still for a few seconds, then the first to broke the silence was Qri:
“Sorry, now I have to go”.
She went toward the entrance and she tried to put on her shoes while taking her jacket that was still wet from the hanger next to the door but she saw an arm came out from her back and lean against the wall.
Without saying a word Qri turned to the door but Hwayoung slammed her other and against the wall to block her way, and she did it with such violence that in that moment was heard just the eco of the impact resound around the apartment.

“What are you thinking to do? I found you in the middle of the night in front of my house, I let you come inside my apartment, you kissed me and now you come up with ?”
Qri’s heart was pounding fast. Her back was against the wall and she kept looking at the ground. Hwayoung’s tone was calm, but she could feel a kind of tension in her voice.

Suddenly she felt a hand lean on her cheek and forcing her face to look up and two soft lips leaned softly on hers.
After few seconds the kiss was interrupted to start another one, and this time              Qri responses to the kiss, she moved her hands on the other girl’s shirt’s collar pulling it towards her, intensifying even more their kiss.
When they started to be out of breath Hwayoung broke they kiss to allow both of them to catch some breath, but Qri’s face bent again toward the floor and she began to sob even stronger than she was doing before.
Suddenly Qri started to hit repeatedly the chest of the girl who was standing in front of her continuing to ask:
“Why? Why?!”
“What?!”
asked Hwayoung while she was trying to grab the older girl’s wrist to stop her.
“Why did you make me wait so long?! If you have felt the same feelings that I feel, then why didn’t you ever tell me? Do you know I have felt bad?”
she said between a sob and the other while she slide toward the floor whit her back was leaned against the wall and she snuggled with her head on her knees.
Hwayoung stayed stand up for some seconds, she couldn’t believe to what she had just heard, then she leaned in front of Qri:
“I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you but I never found the courage, between us didn’t happen nothing that made me think that you would have reciprocated my feelings and I was scared to lose you… Then after what append, even thought that now we clarified, I thought that it was better if the things remained like they were, forgive me”.
Qri slowly raised her head, so her feeling wasn’t just returned, but Hwayoung has felt the same way as her.

Hwayoung was staring at her with a really sad look and she had tears in her eyes.
Unable to stand that sight Qri speared her arms and she hugged her giant-baby:
“Silly girl, how could you think such a think?”
“Sorry unnie~”

The two girls started laugh and they exchanged another sweet kiss.