I forgot how did it feel. I forgot the warmth you gave when you hugged me. I laid on my bed replaying all of our moments in the past on my mind. Seems like that moments happened a long time ago. A small smile formed on my lips. Is it a happy smile or anything else I don’t know. I hugged myslef imagining that you were hugged me now.

I even forgot when was the last time we went out together. Spent the day together. You never looked at my eyes when we talked. You always played with your phone or read something. You even didn’t answer when I asked you. I tried to understand but I thought your heart were already crystalized and turned into an ice.

You’ve changed. You were so cold. I couldn’t recognize you. I couldn’t read your mind or your heart. We were no longer understood each other. But I don’t know why, I kept blamed myself and I hated myself even more. Did I wrong? I often told you that I love you but you never said anything. You kept quite and left me alone. I think “I love you” wasn’t enought anymore.

I missed the time when we looked at each other with full of love. Seeing your smile is like a blessing for me but I lost it now. I lost it and I felt so sorrow and I have no passion to stay in this world. I thought my exsitence was just ruined your life. Isn’t it? Of course it is. I admitted it.

I didn’t know what should I do. Should I keep my pain or told you everything. I was just too afraid for losing you. You left me alone for a long time. I thought you were busy so I had to understand and if I waited a little bit longer you would come to me although I was just your place to runaway and left me again. I would give you a warm hug and safe you. I felt that you got further.

I gave up. I stood up and watched you slowly dissapeared. I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t go back to the past, I couldn’t stay here, and I couldn’t move forward. Please, come and save me.

I gave up. I was a mess. I was the only one who cried like a fool. I wish after I cried, everything was over and everything about us already gone. And I couldn’t remember anything about you.