DAY 9

When I woke up I felt groggy and tired, Myungsoo was sitting on the side of the bed holding a box while staring silently out of the window. I tried to push myself up into a sitting position but my arms were too weak and I felt myself slump back down on my bed. Myungsoo heard me shuffling about and he snapped out of his thoughts. He stood up and leaving the box on his chair he came and helped me sit up on my bed. I tried to say thank you but my voice came out small and croaky. My throat felt sore and my lips were dry and cracked. Looking sadly at my broken body, Myungsoo gave me water to drink to clear my throat. I swallowed a drop of water but even that caused pain to illuminate my throat instead of making it better. Myungsoo went back to his chair and brought over the box he had been carrying. 

He opened the box and I could see that it was filled with small cupcakes decorated with icing and edible paper hearts. 

"I made these for you,"  his cheeks blushed pink as he said it which made me smile even though it hurt. 

"Do you want to try one?" he asked hopefully and I nodded reaching out to pick one. I chose one with blue icing and a red heart on top. I took a bite but that was all that I could take before I vomited a series of saliva and clear liquid along with the crumbs of the small bite of cake I had all over the bed covers. Tears rushed to my eyes and I kept vomiting even though I had nothing to vomit out. Myungsoo patted my back and after my body had stopped heaving he helped clean up the mess I made. 

"Was it that bad," he joked looking hurt even though he tried to hide it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered but Myungsoo shook his head. "Don't worry, I know you didn't do it on purpose. Maybe your body just can't take food right now."

I laid my back against the headstand of the bed and closed my eyes. I felt so bad, Myungsoo had taken the time and care to prepare me these cakes for me to eat but my stupid cancer wouldn't even let me do that. I felt like hitting myself in anger but my arms were even too weak. 

The nurses came over to help to clean up and I was wiped down and comforted. Myungsoo's expression had deepened to one of worry and guilt. 

"I shouldn't have made you eat that, I'm sorry." he mumbled. 

I frowned at him, "It wasn't your fault, it was mine, I'm sorry that I couldn't show appreciation for your gift. I'm really thankful, Myungsoo." 

He smiled then he opened his mouth to say something but immediately closed it again. 

Myungsoo shook his head and his eyes clouded over as he thought about something. 

"Myungsoo, are you alright?" I asked and he nodded. He glanced at the clock and I turned my head painfully to look at it as well. I guess I didn't have much time left. Our eyes met and we both knew that we were both thinking the same thing. 

"Do you think it will hurt?" I asked feeling scared. 

Myungsoo shook his head looking determined, "I'm going to make sure it doesn't" 

He my cheeks softly and whispered, "I promise I won't let anything hurt you,"

I rested my head on Myungsoo's. He felt so warm and safe, I trusted him with all my heart.

As he spoke I felt a rumble underneath me as his voicebox vibrated in his throat, "Do you promise to be safe while I'm gone?"

I stared wide eyed at him. "Why? Where are you going?" I tried not to sound panicked but it was impossible. Why was he telling me that he was going when we had only another day together? 

Myungsoo grinned, "I have something planned for tonight. So do you promise?"

I wanted desperately for him to stay but I just nodded and let him go, I had my own plan for today after all. I had planned the meeting with the lady from Make a Wish. 

With some help from the nurses I managed to get myself into the wheelchair. The nuses helped push me towards one of the meeting rooms in the hospital, the woman was already waiting there with all the equipment. 

I sat on a chair in the middle of the room. he woman smiled at me, "Are you ready?" she asked. 

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After my meeting with the woman ended I got back into the wheelchair and I was wheeled back towards my ward. I was sadly thinking about what would happen tomorrow when I got an aching feeling in my chest. I felt short of breath and starting panting. My pants got louder and the nurse stopped the wheelchair and after telling me to wait a bit she ran to the nearest ward, shouting for help. 

It felt like something was pushing down on my chest, suffocating me, making it impossible to breath, scream or do anything but pant. I clutched the sides of the wheelchair and a huge jerk sent my body pulsing forwards. The wheelchair flipped over and I got crushed underneath. The nuse that had been aiding me rushed out with a couple of doctors with masks. They were pushing a bed on wheels towards me. The doctors lifted the wheelchair and lifted my limp body onto the bed. I stared tiredly into their faces as they rushed down the corridor shouting at everyone to move out of the way. I coughed and felt a trickle of bright red run down my face. I coughed again and more blood came oozing out of the corner of my mouth. 

They took me into a surgery room and placed me on the bed in the middle. 

"It's too late. She was going to die tomorrow anyway." I heard one of them shout. 

"Well at least do something to help with the pain," another doctor said grabbing a needle and filling it with some liquid before injecting it into my arm. It took a few seconds but I slowly felt the pain start to ease but I still had a throbbing feeling in my chest. My vision started to go blurry and the shouts became distant murmers. I didn't try to keep my eyes open; I felt tired, I just wanted to sleep now. I wanted all the pain and noise to disappear. 

But then I heard a voice calling my name and my eyes instinctively flashed open knowing it was Myungsoo. 

"Myungsoo," I tried to call out but it came out like a muffled gurgle in my throat. 

"What's happening? I thought we had another day left, you promised me that you would be safe." Myungsoo cried coming to my side. 

Even though my vision was still fuzzy I could make out the tears in Myungsoo's eyes. 

"You can't go yet! Wake up!" Myungsoo started shaking me before breaking down and falling to his knees next to the bed. The doctors and nurses just watched from the side, they knew it was over that they could do nothing to help me. 

"You can't leave me yet, I was going to tell you tonight, you can't leave when I haven't told you yet," Myungsoo heartwrenching sobs filled the room. 

I opened my cracked lips that were now smothered in blood.

"I'm sorry," I breathed. The room felt like it was spinning and there was uneven, rattling sounds coming out of my mouth. 

Myungsoo grabbed my arm but the room was already starting to get swallowed by blackness. Shrinking until I could only see Myungsoo's face. 

"I love you," I whispered before all light disappeared. 

Then I felt myself sinking into nothingness. 

But from far away I heard Myungsoo whisper back, "I love you too."