Chapter 12

 

A loud knock on the door had wakened Donghae up.

 

“Yah, Donghae don’t tell me you’re still sleeping in there, it’s already twelve thirty.” It was no other than Kyuhyun who woke him up, making his voice louder for the guy inside the room to hear.

 

He was still lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling like what he used to do for almost two weeks, Donghae took a deep breath before answering back,

 

“I’m awake Kyuhyun.” He replied with the same loud voice.

 

“Aren’t you going to eat lunch? You’ve already missed breakfast.”  Kyuhyun asked,

 

Donghae can’t help but to sigh, he doesn’t want his friends to feel worried about him, but he’s not that good of an actor nor a good liar so whenever he tried to fake a smile in front of his friends they wouldn’t buy it they’ll eventually know that there’s something bothering him and they will ask him occasionally if he’s really feeling okay, to which he always replies with a ‘yes’.

 

Knowing that Kyuhyun was getting worried again Donghae had decided that he’ll get up.

 

“I’ll be down the kitchen in a minute, just go ahead I’ll follow.”  Donghae said as he raised himself from his bed.

 

“Okay I’ll wait for you downstairs,” Kyuhyun said, and Donghae could hear him walking away from the door.

 

It’s been two weeks since the most devastating night of his life happened.  Two weeks had past but his wounded heart was still fresh and painfully aching.   After that night Donghae started avoiding Eunhyuk again, as much as possible he doesn’t want to see even his shadow or hear his voice nor hear his name. And from what Donghae can see Eunhyuk was also doing the same thing.

 

Donghae always make sure he’ll wake up earlier so he won’t see Eunhyuk in the morning. A week after the fieldtrip he started going to school earlier than before just to avoid seeing him inside their dorm, on the other hand Kyuhyun had no choice but to also do the same so he can accompany his friend on his way to school.

 

He had successfully avoided him inside their dormitory but not in the school. He’ll hear his name being called and he’ll hear him laugh and speak and all Donghae can do is to just deal with the pain. His friends will always notice his behavior and they’ll start nagging him to share his problems with them but he’ll always tell them the same answer, “I’m just missing my friends back in our school,”

 

For Donghae his friends don’t need to know, it was obvious how they dislike Eunhyuk and he doesn’t want them to dislike him even more. And another thing why he can’t really tell them was because he’s afraid to hear and see their reactions if ever he’ll tell them his feelings for the guy. Krystal is Eunhyuk’s girlfriend and she’s Jessica and Jaejoong’s sibling, what would they say if ever Donghae tells them? That’s why he had chosen to keep it to himself. How he wanted to share it with someone just to lessen the weight of the pain he was bearing, but to whom?  Donghae had decided not to tell Kibum for he knows how his best friend will react and he doesn’t want that either.

 

Before reaching for the door knob he paused as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror hanging against the wall of his room, he had loss some weight and the dark circles under his eyes were the evidence of his restless nights.

 

“You deserve that,” he began talking with his reflection on the mirror, “You deserve to suffer alone, can you even see yourself? You look so pathetic.” He chuckled weakly.

 

“Is that what you want to show him? Huh Donghae? Stop being so weak now…” He tried to smile but it looks as if it was the ugliest smile he had displayed in his entire 17 years of existence, he shook his head and decided to go downstairs before his reflection started talking back.

 

---

 

“It’s Saturday, Do you have any plans for today?” Kyuhyun asked him in the middle of their lunch.

 

Donghae nodded, “Kibum wasn’t able to meet me last week he’s been very busy, but last night he called and asked me if we can meet at the park near the church. I said yes.” He answered.

 

But part of that was a lie, he wasn’t able to meet Kibum last week not because the latter was busy it was because he’s still not feeling better after the fieldtrip and he doesn’t want Kibum to see him in his miserable state.

 

“How about you?” Donghae asked,

 

“I’m going home, I’ll stay at my Mom’s place until tomorrow.”

 

“I see, at least hyung will be here” Donghae replied.

 

Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders, unsure if Yesung would really be around, “Are you feeling better now? Well, you should be… you’ll be seeing your best friend again” he asked.

 

“I guess I am,” he replied shortly.

 

Donghae froze on his seat as someone walked inside the kitchen, even though his back was facing the door he knew who it was, with that very exquisite smell of the branded perfume he’s been very familiar of. He wasn’t expecting him to be in the dorm since it’s a Saturday.

 

Donghae saw Kyuhyun threw a glance at the new comer before shifting his gaze back to him again.

 

“Is your first love going with Kibum?” Kyuhyun asked him not specifying if it was a ‘him’ or a ‘her’, he’s trying to tease his friend or at least make him smile or blush before he leaves the dorm later.

 

And Kyuhyun thought that he succeeded as he saw Donghae’s cheeks turned red. Little did he know that Eunhyuk was already aware of Donghae’s identity, and Donghae can’t help but to feel suddenly shy, embarrassed, and uncomfortable talking about the topic with Eunhyuk around.

 

“I-I don’t know. Last time Kibum wasn’t able to ask…--” Donghae paused for he doesn’t know if he’ll use the word ‘him’.

 

“Your first love,” Kyuhyun was the one who finished his sentence.

 

Donghae nodded.

 

“Are you expecting to see your first love later?” Kyuhyun asked,

 

Donghae doesn’t know what to say so he just shrugged his shoulders in reply. He wonders what was taking Eunhyuk so long inside the kitchen, he wanted him at least out of sight so he can speak more comfortably, he turned his head slightly to look what he’s doing and saw that he’s working with something near the sink.

 

“I hope you’ll see your first love later, maybe seeing your first love can lighten up your mood.” Kyuhyun told him.

 

Donghae chuckled by the latter’s statement, “You think so?” he asked back,

 

Kyuhyun nodded, “See, you’re smiling again, because we are talking about your first love.”

 

And Donghae thought he heard Eunhyuk grunted from the back. Donghae bit his lower lip dismissing the smile forming on his lips.

 

“I’m already full.” Donghae said placing his spoon and fork down the plate, “Well, I need to prepare myself for later,” Donghae told Kyuhyun.

 

“Make sure you look great, though you always look dashing it’s your first love we’re talking about so you should put on some effort.” Kyuhyun teased his friend once more as Donghae began raising himself from his chair.

 

“Kyuhyun it’s just my best friend and I that will meet later,” Donghae told him, being too conscious of Eunhyuk’s presense.

 

“And I’m telling you, I can sense your first love coming along too.” Kyuhyun said.

 

“Whatever, I’ll go now,” Donghae mumbled as he quickly gets himself out of the kitchen area.

 

---

 

He called a taxi for him to ride on his way to the park, but before the taxi could even drive out of the school area Donghae saw a girl heading towards their dormitory. Of course he knew her. He’ll trade his life just to be her, he had thought once.

 

“Ajushi, wait.” He told the driver to stop, and when the driver did Donghae opened the window beside him to call her.

 

“Krystal!” Donghae called her.

 

Hearing someone calling her name, Krystal immediately spun herself around, and upon seeing Donghae her sad looking face had been replaced with a gleaming smile. She quickly ran towards the taxi.

 

“Hey, going somewhere?” Krystal asked, her beautiful smile never leaves her thin lips.

 

Donghae smiled back, “Yes. Are you going to see him today?” he asked, there’s no need to say his name.

 

“Yes, Actually I’m on my way to the dorm.”

 

“But he’s not there anymore, he left the dorm earlier.”

 

Krystal’s smile had slowly dissolved, “Ooh, I see…” she muttered.

 

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” He asked, and Krystal could only shake her head.

 

 “Do you want to come with me?” he invited her, He really felt sorry for her. Eunhyuk always treats her unfairly. It wouldn’t hurt if he’ll try to cheer her up a bit right?

 

That made her smile a bit, “Really? I can come with you?”

 

Donghae nodded, “I’ll meet my best friend at the park. You already met him at the mall. Kibum, remember him?”

 

Krystal nodded, “Yes, I can still remember him.”

 

“Good, let’s go then,” Donghae said as he opened the door, “Come on, get inside,” he told her.

 

“Thank you Donghae,” She thanked him upon getting inside.

 

And then the taxi driver started driving again to the park.

.

.

“I was planning to ask him out today, he’s been out with his friends lately, we haven’t spend much time together after the fieldtrip.” Krystal opened up when they have nothing else to talk about after reaching the park.

 

“You missed him?” It was obvious that she was missing him, but Donghae can’t think of anything to say.

 

Krystal sighed, “I do, I missed him so badly, sometimes I can’t help but to think that he’s trying to avoid me, he asked if I could keep my distance from him for a while. But it’s been 2 weeks already, I’m starting to get scared Donghae.” she said as she looked at the guy sitting beside him on the bench.

 

“Why? What are you being scared of?” he asked with pure concern.

 

She bit her lower lip as if having second thoughts whether she’ll tell him or not, but because she needs someone to talk to she decided to tell him though it’s bit embarrassing for her part.

 

“I can’t even count how many times he tried breaking up with me. We’ve been together for almost two years and I know I was being selfish for not letting him go even though I know he’s not happy with me anymore, but I love him too much that I can’t let go of him.”

 

Donghae always thought that despite the coldness Eunhyuk was showing towards her, he still loves her, that he’s not that type that shows his feelings through action, but Donghae was wrong. He pitied her more and he felt sorry for her but he found himself speechless, unable to find the right words to tell her.

 

“I look pathetic right?” Krystal laughed softly,

 

Donghae was quick to shake his head, “You’re just in love,” he told her, but what he really wants to tell her was, ‘yes, both of us looks pathetic trying to win over his heart’.

 

“What if he’ll do it again? Break up with you again? Will you let him?” he asked.

 

“Honestly I don’t know, I can’t leave him alone. He needs someone he can lean on, he needs someone he can talk to, someone he could trust. If I’ll let go what’s going to happen to him?”

 

“You’re a very brave girl, just like Jessica. For you to bear everything just to make him feel secured, it must be hard,”

 

Krystal nodded, “Nobody else will look after him, I don’t care if he doesn’t want me anymore. I’ll stay with him, because he needs someone to be there for him, even though I know it’s not me he needs, I won’t let go.”

 

“Do you think he’s interested with someone else?” Donghae asked, he was curious of how Krystal said that he’s not the one Eunhyuk seemed to need.

 

“I have this weird feeling that he’s indeed thinking of somebody else,” She said in a low voice,

 

Donghae’s curiosity grew further, it hurts to know that Eunhyuk was interested with someone else aside from his girlfriend. “Can you tell who she is?” he asked,

 

Krystal shook her head, “I’m too afraid to find out who,” she replied.

 

Seeing her drowning in sadness and feeling his heart breaking more into pieces Donghae had decided to change their topic.

 

“Forget about that, don’t think about it too much, it will only upset you more.” He told her

 

“So, how’s Sohee?” Donghae asked changing their topic.

 

“She’s doing fine, as far as I know she’ll have her check up today.”

 

“She’s too young to be diabetic, Jessica told me she inherited the disease from her father. I hope she’ll be okay, she’s so nice.”

 

“She is, Heechul was blessed to have her.”

 

Donghae laughed as he remembered something, “I was surprised that Sohee is Heechul’s girlfriend. I thought she likes me after receiving a box of chocolate from her.” He chuckled.

 

“Oh, that one.” Krystal let out, “She heard that Heechul had cornered you along the corridor, and she thought of something else to make up for what her boyfriend did. That’s why she gave you a chocolate, to apologize for what Heechul did.”

 

Donghae mouthed an ‘O’ upon hearing the story behind the box of chocolate, “She’s really nice,” he complimented once more.

 

Their conversation went on until Kibum arrives at the park. Kibum was surprised to see that Donghae had brought Eunhyuk’s girlfriend with him, but seeing that the two of them gets along very well he let them be. The three of them had fun strolling around the park, renting bicycles and eating random stuffs along the way. Krystal stayed with them for three more hours until she received a call from her Mom telling her to go home already.

 

“Thank you for letting me hangout with the two of you. I had so much fun.” Krystal said as Donghae called her a taxi.

 

“No problem. We also had fun.” Kibum said.

 

 “Give me a call, or text me when you got home.” Donghae told her as she gets inside.

 

“I will. Thanks again, bye.” She waved her hand, a smile plastered across her beautiful looking face as the cab started driving off.

 

“I’m glad she enjoys our company” Donghae told Kibum, “Thanks for letting her stay,” he continued.

 

“That’s nothing, she’s nice after all.” Kibum replied.

 

The both of them started walking again as they exchange stories two weeks’ worth. Donghae had decided not to tell him about the confession he did so he skipped that part, including the punch Heechul gave him. It was sundown and Donghae noticed that they were heading near the church.

 

“Are we going inside?” Donghae asked him,

 

“No, we just have to wait for him outside.” Kibum said as he gave his best friend a huge smile.

 

“Wait for who?”

 

“Siwon, he told me to drop off the church so he can see you and say hi,”

 

Donghae’s eyes widened in shock, “he wants to see me?”

 

“Of course, he’s our friend after all. He misses you too you know,” Kibum told him. “It’s almost six o’clock the mass will be over soon.” He said.

 

“It’s been a month though, since I last saw him. I’m starting to feel nervous.” Donghae said.

 

Kibum laughed at his best friend, “It’s not like he knew that you used to like him, just act normal”

 

 

“Kibum! Donghae!” the person they’ve been waiting for called out their names.                  

 

Donghae was quick to turn his head at the direction to where the voice came from, and there he is almost running towards them. He’d be lying if he’ll tell himself that he hadn’t missed him, Siwon greeted him with his gorgeous smile with those cute dimples of his. Donghae felt relived, seeing him only proves that he missed him, he missed his friend so much, and the thing is, he can’t feel anything towards him anymore. Donghae’s no longer in love with him, he can feel it.

                       

“It’s been so long,” Siwon said as he reached the two of them,

 

“Yeah, I’m glad to finally see you again. You look more handsome, I hope I can reach that level too.” Donghae joked.

 

Siwon laughed by his words, “What level are you talking about?” he chuckled, “You’re handsome as well, well… I should say you look more dashing than before, though it seemed that you lost some weight.” Siwon said as he scanned Donghae.

 

“Right, there are only four people in our dorm and all of us weren’t blessed with good cooking skills. But the foods are somehow bearable.” He told him.

 

Kibum was the one who broke their conversation,

 

“I need to go home, Dad already texted me.” Kibum told them.

 

Donghae frowned at him, “Your Dad would never text you to go home, he’s not that overprotective towards you.” Donghae told him.

 

“But he just did,” he told him, “Siwon would you mind walking Donghae home? I really need to go.” He asked Siwon.

 

“That’s just fine with me,” Siwon told Kibum.

 

“Good, have a good time. I’ll go now.” He told them.

 

“Bye Hae,” Kibum winked at him before leaving the two of them completely.

 

Donghae’s jaw literally dropped upon realizing what Kibum just did. His best friend had intentionally left him alone with Siwon.

 

“I don’t have that much time to hang around tonight, but I’ll send you back to your dorm. Maybe we can have a talk while we’re on the way.” Siwon smiled at him.

 

Donghae nodded. “Okay, let’s go then.” He said as they started calling for a cab.

 

The ride didn’t take that long, but the time was enough for them to ask each other the necessary questions like how they have been doing, their new friends, how was the school Donghae was currently entering at, how’s Siwon and Sooyoung doing, which Donghae found more comfortable to talk about now than before.

 

“Do you want to get inside?” Donghae invited him as soon as they reached the dorm.

 

“Maybe some other time, I still need to meet Sooyoung at the mall.” Siwon answered.

 

“Okay then, have a great time. I’m very happy to see you again.” Donghae told him.

 

“Me too, I missed the smartest nerd in South Korea” Siwon joked.

 

“I missed you too, be careful on your way. Tell Sooyoung I said hi,” He replied.

 

“I will, take good care of yourself, I want to see you gain more weight the next time we meet again” Siwon told him,

 

“I’ll try,” Donghae chuckled.

 

He was surprised when he saw Siwon stretching his arms open, “Until next time,” Siwon said,

 

Donghae stepped closer as he responded with the hug Siwon was giving, “Yeah, until next time,” he replied as he hugged him tighter. He missed him after all.

 

Donghae watched until the cab was out of sight, he took a deep breath before stepping inside their dorm. He was surprised to see Eunhyuk at the living room, leaning against the window with his arms crossed against his chest. His single lidded eyes looking intently at him.

 

Did he saw him?  Donghae asked himself. He suddenly felt uneasy that Eunhyuk had to see him with Siwon.

 

“So, he’s the ‘first love’?” Donghae flinched a little when Eunhyuk suddenly asked that question.

 

Donghae who was feeling uneasy just nodded in reply.

 

“So, what am I then?” Eunhyuk snapped, Donghae’s eyes widened as he heard him asking him that question.

 

Eunhyuk walked closer at him until he was just inches away, “I’m asking you, what am I to you then?” he repeated his question.

 

Donghae tried to open his mouth but no words can come out, he wants to tell him how he loves him so badly but he only found himself trembling. He was shock when he’s been pushed against the wall, his back hitting the cold cement as Eunhyuk caught his lips into a soul shattering kiss. The kiss wasn’t gentle, rather it was hungry and punishing. Eunhyuk bit the latters lips, his tongue forced its way inside Donghae’s mouth as he let himself take full control over the kiss. When Eunhyuk felt Donghae needing for some oxygen he break the kiss, Donghae was panting hard after Eunhyuk released him from the kiss.

 

Eunhyuk leaned his head against Donghae’s left ear, “I want to know, what am I to you Donghae?” he whispered with his husky voice.

 

“I told you already, I love you Hyukjae.” Donghae answered back,

 

“I don’t believe you,” Eunhyuk said as he stepped a foot back to look at Donghae.

 

“Take me,” Donghae told him, “I’ll prove it, I love you, take me…” Donghae continued as he clutched the lattters’ shirt.

 

“I won’t go easy on you” Eunhyuk told him, his eyes are now burning with anger and lust and Donghae can see it.

 

Donghae nodded, assuring him that he doesn’t care.

 

“Don’t tell me I didn’t warned you,” Eunhyuk told him as he grabbed Donghae’s hand and lead him to his room.

 

-----

 

I'll post the continuation on the next chapter!  I'm still working on it. Remember Patience is a virtue. XD

 

*To those who were asking why I was only showing Donghae’s point of view or why am I only using the third person point of view, it’s because I forbid myself to show Hyukjae’s side. It will only spoil the flow of the story once I shared his thoughts. But I’ll of course be making one as the story progresses.

 

I'll post the next chapter as soon as I'm done with it! XD