I lazily roll over my bed, grunting as I do so, as my alarm clock went off. It’s the first thing I hear today, of course, and it immediately sent me into a bad mood. I could already feel a shadow casting over me.

You know the saying that the mood you are in when you wake up in the morning pretty much determines your mood throughout the day? Well, newsflash: it’s true. I proved it.

Whenever I wake up in a bad mood, my whole day most likely goes in that direction afterwards. My mood goes especially worse when I hear that goddamn alarm. Its sound is still ringing in my ears, it’s making me crazy! I feel stuffy. How I wish I could get another wake-up call.

But that was all before, though. Today’s just my holiday from lovely alarm-free mornings.

I walked towards my window, half-asleep, and pulled my curtains wide open. The sun enveloped me at once but the warmth it gave wasn’t the same as it was used to be today. It just wasn’t doing the magic for me.

Milk delivery’s off today, which means I won’t see you. You left me.

No, it’s not that I obsess over milk to the point of waiting for milk delivery to arrive each morning. It’s just merely because it’s you who delivers them. I don’t know why you chose such job, but I’ll just take it as a blessing in disguise. In my case, that is.

You’re my daily alarm clock; the lovely kind. You wake all my senses up just by the sight of you. It’s like you have that certain warmth you give me that even the sun couldn’t. As cliché as it may sound, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to my then withering soul.

I could still remember the first morning we met; the first bottle you sent.

The doorbell rang and the ear-piercing sound echoed throughout the whole house. As if that wasn’t enough, mom’s booming voice follows suit, shouting for me to get the door. With heavy steps, and some cursing under my breath, I literally dragged my feet to the front door.

“Do you know what time it is?” I cried out as soon as I opened the door in a swift manner.

I startled you, but to my surprise, I was even more startled. You were there right in front of me with those almond eyes wide with shock, skin glistening beneath the sunlight, and lips red like cherries. And I swear that’s when I believed in love at first sight.

You too me wandering deep in your eyes in just seconds. You took me by surprise.

“G-good m-m-morning,” you stammered. “I’m sorry, but I just-“

“No, don’t be,” I cut you off as I instinctively held your arm. Your skin were as soft as satin.

I guess I startled you again as breaking glass and liquid splashing against the floor echoed in my ears, then you let out a rather eerie cry. I swear I wanted to hold your hand then and say sorry but I knew my touch was the danger itself.

Like the song said, 60 seconds was enough for my story; for me to fall for you. But 60 seconds wasn’t enough for you to fall for me, too. It was enough for the milk bottles to fall, though.

It took me a while to say a word, and when I finally did, all I wanted was to punch myself.

“Oh. Gravity still works, it seems.” I tried laughing, but only a sound like that of a frog’s croaking came out. You shot me a disgusted look.

“But then why isn’t it making you fall for me?” I thought. I cursed gravity for being too picky.

My mind was singing in lyrics to no end that day. It was as if my whole being was singing too. You clearly cast a spell on me.

“Wow, thanks a lot,” you said between gritted teeth. You were trying to glare at me again but, I’m sorry, you’re not succeeding on making me feel small or whatnot. All I see is the sparkle of your eyes and how it entrances me.

“You’ll have to pay for the broken bottles, though, ma’am,” you said, tightening your jaw.

“Can you come back tomorrow then?”

“I’m afraid I have no choice.” You rolled your eyes at me before muttering behind your breath, “loser.”

I chuckled as I heard you. I found that really cute. You’re cute when you’re pissed off, but not that I am wishing that you’ll get pissed off at me on a daily basis. Unlike before, I was already looking forward to early mornings.

I watched you walk with angry steps down our porch, across our lawn, then as you rode your bike. I watched you ride away till you were just a speck in the horizon.

I sighed as you flashed back in my mind on replay; your glistening almond eyes, your sweet voice even when angry, your pale skin, and how—

“Wait, did you just call me ma’am?” I exclaimed at the non-existent you. I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Loser.”

You aren’t all perfection, after all, but it still is you; the one whom I totally fell for.

Just like waking up in the morning in a bad mood, the bad start of our relationship led to bad meetings, too. Every day, as you delivered our daily ration, I waited for the doorbell to ring just so I can open the door before anybody else does. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but after a few weeks, I actually open the door before you even press the button.

It’s like a miracle but I woke up earlier than my alarm clock, then look out of my window, waiting for you. The moment I see your shadow drawing near, I dash to our front door and wait a few seconds after I hear your footsteps against our porch stairs.

You still glared at me every morning but I couldn’t care less. Just the sight of you already fills my heart with warmth and glee. You must know that I’m usually not this romantic. My feelings for you isn’t a joke.

You don’t know how happy I was on that first morning you gave me a smile. I swear it was like my whole world lightened up even brighter by the sight of your smile. I felt butterflies in my stomach at once. I never knew they were real.

“Good morning,” you said. “Look, I’m sorry for being too cold to you ever since we met…”

I’m sorry to say, but that’s where my sense of hearing went off. Just then, all I could hear was the loud beating of my heart as your eyes met mine and as your lips gently pressed against each other as you talked.

You looked brighter that day, too, and I couldn’t get any happier. I guess I found my sunflower. I can’t see anything else but you. I must be going insane.

“Hey,” you snapped your fingers in front of my face, giggling.

I snapped back into reality, embarrassed. I could feel my cheeks flush but the sound of your giggle sent me sailing in your eyes once again. Your giggle sounded like a cherub’s, pure and magical. My heart was overflowing with feelings for you, I thought I was about to drown.

The next few days were like a dream; a fairy tale come true. You made my every morning filled with sunshine. I’m not sure if this is love, but all I know is that every time I see you, my insides feel like bursting with a million fireworks. You were my happy pill, my beautiful sunflower.

The first time you told me your name was incomparable.

“Hi,” I said, shyly, as I opened the door. I smiled at you as I got the bottle out of your hands, and shivered a little as my skin touched yours.

“Hi,” you replied. “Good morning.”

“Hey, umm…” I started, blushing. “I’m Heather. I thought I just needed to let you know.”

“Choi Hansol,” you said in the most steady way you can but all that came out was a sound like that of a frog’s croak.

You had a good laugh, but I was even happier. Seeing you laugh and hearing you had a healing effect to my whole being. That was one of the best days of my existence, next to first meeting you.

But today, I miss you, and I will miss you each and every day till I see you again. Mornings wouldn’t be the same without the magic you bring me. My soul would be on hibernate mode now that you’re gone. Now, you’re just a mere memory; out of my reach. You left me, but not entirely for a part of you will forever stay engraved in my heart. You made me promise not to go looking for you, but I didn’t say I’m good at keeping promises.