A/N: the playlist as I wrote this was Marina and the diamonds, Starring Role, Lies & Oh No  These songs are currently exactly what I feel, and the same time... what Woobin feels, I guess. 

 

 

 

 

 

When Everything is Dead and Gone

(time stops for no one) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At times, Woobin does indulge in his character Heungsoo too much. Othertimes, he just let's the made up character that had been created within a span of months, consume him. 

 

When a hand lands on Jongsuk's skinny thigh, thumb secretly rubbing in patterns into the flower boys skin, Woobin blames it solely on Heungsoo. Because Heungsoo is allowed to touch Namsoon, it was established when the writers allowed them both to cry in front of each other for the drama. It doesn't hurt either that Jongsuk loves skin-ship. 

 

Woobin greedily allows his co-worker to press light touches to his shoulders, arms, waist, thighs, legs, ect ect. Only Jongsuk, he thinks when Jongsuk slings an arm around his shoulder and pulls them close together. 

 

Then sometimes Woobin, a boy under the name of God, can't stand the long slim fingers intertwining with his and he snaps in a way he wishes later he didn't. 

 

"Don't," he punctuates, tearing his hand from Jongsuk's, "hold my hand." 

 

Late at night he tries to picture a wave of grief over-whelming Jongsuk's face instead of the smile his co-worker had merely given him, hands held in front of him, a shield being built between them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongsuk is crafty, he is after all, a Virgo. 

 

Virgo's though they may not show it at first adore skin-ship and lure people towards them with small talks and timid smiles, but Woobin knows better, Jongsuk is something akin to a monster. 

 

A greedy, selfish monster. 

 

"Woobin, no, no," Jongsuk hums slowly, the crappy light hanging over their heads as Jongsuk presses his chest against Woobin's. "Hyunjoong." The name itself sends electricity up his spine, lately he craves nothing more than to hear his real name; not the pampered name he had created in attempt to mask his real self, and his stage self. 

 

"What?" He hisses, face turned to the side as he refuses to look into Jongsuk's demon eyes. He knows what he wants, they're both good at that, understanding each other. 

 

Which also comes with a multitude of problems. 

 

"Stop it," Jongsuk says with a sigh, leaning away from his fellow model, co-worker, his friend. "I can see it in your eyes, you're looking at me like ---" 

 

"Jongsuk," Woobin warns.

 

"---a lover."

 

Woobin's heart almost collapses, he wishes oh so much Jongsuk will just cup his face, kiss him senseless and say; I want to be with you, too. And they'll grow old and wrinkly together, re-watching School 2013 and their other dramas until they both have all the lines memorized, and when that's finished they'll kiss, slowly and passionately and Woobin knows he'd probably cry if he was actually being literal. 

 

It must've shown on his face, because Jongsuk's eyes drop. "We can't."

 

---Because we have careers now, careers that actually matter. Jongsuk doesn't say that, but Woobin knows he wants too, Woobin is an expert at finishing Jongsuk's sentences. 

 

Though sometimes Woobin does miss being another nobody, being able to walk in the streets carelessly and flawlessly, people looking at him with awed eyes as he passes by. Another nameless model, that's what he wanted to be at one point. But then came his bills, and the pressure of not being happy, so Woobin seeked out acting and he wishes he didn't sometimes. 

 

Through acting Kim Woobin meets Lee Jongsuk, the real Lee Jongsuk (not the model he had met before), a demon for lack of better words.

 

"You're still going to kiss me though." It's a statement, and Woobin finally looks Jongsuk in the eye. "Stop saying meaningless things, we only have 18 minutes."

 

Jongsuk laughs, nose bumping against Woobin's as he captures his lips briefly. 

 

And sometimes, Woobin is so, so grateful that he became an actor in the end. 

 

Jongsuk's hands place themselves naturally on his hips, and he thinks that really, none of this can be a mistake. After all, everything happens for a reason. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lee Jongsuk is known now. So is Kim Woobin, not as well known, but he's still well known.

 

They've made reputations for each other, names sewn into each other, a needle threading them together. Forever. School 2013 and the message both of them created in that drama, will stick with their names forever. Not that Woobin is complaining, because of him and Jongsuk looking so ing perfect together they often come together in projects.

 

Shows, CF's, movies, dramas and run-ways even. 

 

Their lives inter-lap and it leaves them both knowing more and more about each other, the red-threads tangling more into each other until it just becomes a giant knot. Woobin accepts it, messing it up a bit more each day. 

 

"What's wrong?" Jongsuk's asks, waving off a senior with a flirty smile and a slight twinkle in his eyes. Woobin scoffs, hating how well Jongsuk can just look at him and know how he's feeling. 

 

He doesn't answer, eyes glaring angrily at the ground. Silence is key, if he's silent, he can keep control. He can keep Jongsuk. 

 

"Are you angry at me for ignoring your texts?"

 

Woobin pouts, feeling almost cheated that Jongsuk can guess right away. 

 

"Oh," Jongsuk laughs, "that is why you're mad."

 

"Upset." Woobin corrects moodily, "I'm not mad."

 

"You're mad" Jongsuk points out with a roll of his eyes, before wrapping his arms around Woobin's waist and placing his dainty little head on the slightly taller males shoulder. "I saw it when I was in a schedule, and then I forgot about it when I got home, I thought it'd be stupid if I answered it this morning." 

 

Woobin can sense a liar when he meets one. Once, he nods. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they were recording School 2013, Woobin actually did consider himself Jongsuk's lover, Jongsuk considered him his too. 

 

It was a silent agreement between them and the set, Woobin would be Jongsuk's the moment they stepped into their roles. The other actors unconsciously knew it too. It was as if, everyone just knew. 

 

It's kind of scary, how people know things without actually even knowing. People are aware when two people love each other, they know, they know so well they try to stay far away from those two. 

 

As soon as Woobin walked on set, no, Heungsoo, Namsoon belonged to him, and him to Namsoon. 

 

It was an unspoken agreement among the set and them. 

 

Though School 2013 has ended (and their sparked relationship too,) sometimes Woobin is still in love with Jongsuk the way he had been when they were filming the drama. Sometimes he's over his love, and sometimes it snugs it's way back into his heart. 

 

Sometimes he loves Lee Jongsuk, him and all his flaws. Sometimes, he doesn't and realizes that maybe it's best if he doesn't tell Jongsuk he loves him, maybe it's just better that they stay the way they are, flawed and scared. They don't need to think about the way they embrace each other, or the way they kiss. 

 

Sometimes, things are easier when they aren't thought about. 

 

"What are you thinking about?" Jongsuk asks, not actually making any move to turn his head away from the TV, to engrossed in re-watching the latest show, Running Man, that they had both been on. Woobin leaves the confirming to Jongsuk, he doesn't want to see his failures on TV. 

 

"Nothing really" Woobin says from his own kitchen, not bothering to point out that Jongsuk could go watch this at his own home. When the scene when Jongsuk had grabbed his hands and began jumping with him because the ice-cream was cold comes up, Woobin takes it as an opportunity to ask, "why did you do that?"

 

"Because it was cold," Jongsuk says monotonously, "and I wanted to hold your hands."

 

Woobin flushes and ducks his head. "Of course."

 

"It was the stealthy way to do it," Jongsuk says slyly, raising his head finally when the commercials come on, "because you don't like holding hands."

 

"I do," Woobin says, not bothering to add only with you, though. "I... I was just cranky that day."

 

Jongsuk raises a brow, not bothering to add the silent sentences between them. "I see."

 

When he does hold out his hand, Woobin hesitantly takes it, allowing himself to be dragged down to sit down next to Jongsuk. He doesn't even move his fingers when their hands interlock, fingers brushing against his knuckles, shoulder against shoulder as the show continues. 

 

Jongsuk is really a flirt, Woobin thinks dully, heart thudding quicker and quicker as the minutes go by. 

 

 

 

 

 

Lee Jongsuk doesn't love him. 

 

Usually this'd make people sad, or even angry at their lack of being able to capture a person. It's not Woobin's fault, actually, if he was being completely honest, he's doing everything exactly right.

 

Jongsuk is just scared, scared of the possibility of them, he's scared of being caught, he's scared of no longer being a big screen name, he's scared of what the future in them holds. Woobin is too, if he's being 100% honest, he's terrified of what could come out of them being together. 

 

He could lose his apartment, his fame, his job, his family. 

 

At the end of the day, eyes closing sleepily after a day full of long, long schedules and strict dieting, Woobin thinks, it's for the best that Jongsuk doesn't love him back. 

 

It's not a big deal, he'll say in the back of his mind, there will be somebody for me, someone perfect. 

 

Despite all that, Woobin can't convince himself that Jongsuk isn't perfect for him. 

 

Lee Jongsuk doesn't love him back. And maybe, it's for the best. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: planning to write a chaptered story for these two ;O; <33