Cracked, Broken, Reassembled
God, Give Him Back - Oneshot
March 8th
After all this time, I finally realized I did nothing wrong. There is no reason in me why you don't talk to me, why I can't meet you. I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to see the imperfections, trying to see what took you away from me. There's nothing. I only see a brown messy hair, emotionless eyes and a pale, tired face. I circled myself into emptiness, trying to ignore everything about what happened around me. I made myself a loner, wanting nothing more but to see and touch you again. Now staring at this mirror, I see I need to stop acting like its the end of the world and start living again. Only that I know I don't want to live it without you. I tried to avoid this moment, but now it's time. It's time to open my eyes and live again. I fist my hands and state at the pale skin of my knuckles, stretching around the hard none of my hands. This was the moment. No more fear, just life.
He dropped the diary on the floor and his eyes widened into the size of small saucers. Life was just playing tricks, he was certain of it. It wasn't possible that and soon as he decided to live again, someone so special was thrown to his door, knocking on it. "Kyuhyun?" A voice called out and the pale man froze, his head perking up. Immediately tears started to fall from his eyes, he was so sure this was just a hallucination or maybe he had died without noticing it. A louder knock followed and another sound. "Kyu, I know you're in there! Open this door!" The voice was now yelling, a tone that Kyuhyun knew extremely well. Kyuhyun was now crying loudly, his legs had given in and he was sitting on the floor, holding his face in his hands, the tears dripping down his arms and wetting his sleeves. He had not guessed this coming. It was what he had dreamed of, what he wanted. But now, he didn't know what was to happen next.
A groan could be heard behind the door, then a sliding sound. "Hey, I know I've been ignoring you like an , but I couldn't help it.." A shirt pause took place. "I wanted to talk to you, to call you... But I felt like I couldn't." Kyuhyun's sob cut the speech for a short moment. "Can you please let me inside and hear me out?" The question was loud and clear, yet in Kyuhyun's mind it was blurry, almost impossible to understand. To open the door, to let him in, a person who had hurt him so much? He felt clueless and confused, lost. This was all way over his head.
Slowly he managed to get on his feet, swaying to the door and cracking it open. A man was there, sitting on the cold tiles of the hallway. He quickly jumped up and pulled the door wider, biting on his lip. "Changmin." Kyu stuttered and took a step back, wiping his soaked face. Changmin just smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around the older, just like he always had done. "I'm right here. I won't go away again." He whispered quietly and pressed his face in the other's hair. This made Kyuhyun erupt into another fit of sobbing and tears, hands gripping tightly onto the fabric of that shirt that smelled like good times and happiness.
"When you said you love me... And I laughed, remember?" Kyuhyun of course remembered, and nodded slightly against the broad chest he was leaning into. That made Changmin continue. "I was nervous, I didn't know how to react. I mean, we are both men and all." He sighed and caressed the other's brown locks. "I knew I needed time to think, but I never meant to do this to you. I know I love you, I just didn't know how I love you, can you understand that?" Again all he got was a nod. This wasn't going as he had planned.
He took a deep breath to collect the courage he needed to do what he was about to do. "I still don't know... If I love you more than I love a friend. But you're my best friend, my brother from another mother. I want to give it a try. Us a try." He whispered the last sentence and slowly Kyuhyun lifted his face and looked at the man.
He wasn't believing what he heard. Not only he was getting his friend back, but also something he had been afraid to hope, a lover out of him? This all seemed too good to be true. He was again wondering if he had died without noticing and this was his personal heaven, or maybe hell if you had a bad sense of humor. "I love you, Changmin." He whispered and closes his eyes, burying his face against the other's neck. "Always will." Changmin also closed his eyes and hugged tighter, nuzzling into the soft hair. "You forgive me?" He asked quietly, not earning an answer. Silence was a good way to say yes sometimes. This was a new beginning, for the both of them. From friends to something more, something deeper and more meaningful. A new days was dawning.
Comments