Rain splattered the windows like tiny bullets. The soft pitter patter noises weren’t comforting, they were like heavy stones piling up getting heavier and heavier. It was cold; it was gray. It was how she felt. How she was; cold, down and just miserable.

Haneul opened the window to her room ignoring the rain that started to hit her. She didn’t care. She stepped out and sat on the fire escape just feeling it all. She looked up at the dark skies and wished for the rain to wash her pain away; her despair. She felt her eyes close and let the rain drench her.

Her stepmother’s words still echoed in her ear.

“you’re leaving by the end of the month. You will leave Seoul and to your father in Japan and finish your studies there.”

It didn’t just echo, it rang, loud and resounding.

By the end of the month means leaving her only a week.

If this was a year ago she would’ve gladly said yes. She had no reason to stay here, her father was the only one she had left and her stepmother certainly didn’t care for her, only the money her father sends home and she barely gets some of it; not that she really cares.

She desperately wanted to have gone with her father to Japan but she can’t. Her father told her he’d be back so she had to stay and so she did.

Bomi was her only friend and she gladly helped her through her struggles. For her father’s promise she at least tried to be back to normal and get through the day. But some days weren’t so easy, especially when her stepmother brings home things she’s bought using her father’s money; things of unnecessary worth; of earthly wants. How she could just squander her father’s money which he worked so hard for made Haneul mad.

It was one of those depressing days when she met him. Someone she’d never expected to rely on; someone she’d never expected to become a big part of her life.

Nickhun.

Haneul was alone in one of the benches by the Han River and he walked passed her. Noticing she was crying he politely handed her his handkerchief.

            “I hope you’ll find something to smile about.” He said. She looked up at his kind face; she didn’t want to trust a random stranger and so she didn’t and she stood up and left without accepting his handkerchief.

She walked away. Nickhun didn’t follow her and just watched her retreating back. He felt bad for her but she was a stranger. But fate has its funny way of making things go the way it should; Nickhun was Bomi’s cousin from Jeju who came to Seoul to study. Haneul spent time with Bomi, Bomi brings Nickhun along and the rest is history.

Fate may be funny but it’s also cruel. Just as Haneul finally found a way to be happy it’s snatched away from her.

Haneul stood up and went back inside to the bitter solace of her room.

Four days till d-day, Haneul just locked herself inside her room. Her phone turned off and thrown somewhere across the room, ignored and neglected.

Both Nickhun and Bomi had been calling and texting her nonstop but she had not answered one of them. Nickhun called trying to reconcile from the fight they had the night before she received the news of her upcoming move and Bomi asking her why she’s been absent from classes.

She hated not talking to them. She was being a coward, she told herself.

2 days till d-day. Both Bomi and Nickhun now took turns to visit her home but her stepmother always drove them away. One, she didn’t like Nickhun and two, she just doesn’t want her stepdaughter have any friends.

1 day till d-day.

All her bags were packed, her room almost bare, her phone still turned off. Haneul leaned over one of her drawers and her eyes darted across her room. Her memories with her real mother filled her thoughts. How she would read her stories at night and sing her lullabies to sleep. It all happened here, in this same room, she thought. The her eyes fell on her bed and saw an image of herself rolling across the bed while on the phone with Nickhun and the times Bomi slept over and how they’d do all girly stuffs to each other until the wee hours of the night.

Those memories made her feel like crying, but not a single tear fell. She had no tear to shed anymore.

She reached out towards her phone and turned it on. Messages flooded her phone along with a few voice messages. Before she could even read one of the texts, her phone rang.

It was Bomi.

            “yeoboseyo?” Haneul answered. Her voice hoarse from not being used for days.

            “Haneul? Haneul-ah! You finally answered. Yah! Why ahvent you been answering you phone? Why haven’t you been in class? Are you sick? Nickhun’s gone ballistic! His almost this close to breaking into your house!” Bomi’s frantic voice shrieked in the other line.

Haneul felt herself almost smile at the sound coming from her dear friend. She wanted to tell her everything but her voice hitched and Bomi noticed.

            “Haneul?