"Welcome to our family, dear...from now on you can call us your parents!", I can only smile shyly and noding to them, "Lets eat now, let the kids alone...they need to start develop their love seed!", I'm blushing hard to hear my parents say that, while laughing our parents make their way to the dinning room...only me and Kai that stood still.

After the parents left the room I take my way out to my mother garden, I stood still waiting for Kim Jongin a.k.a Kai to say something about this, "So...we're engaged now, right?", I nod and hum to respond, "How's your feel?", I took a deep breath and look up to the sky, "I'm good", "I see", actually I feel awkward about this, I love Kai...I fallen for him so deep until it hurts me a lot, and to be in this state with him its like...dream come true, even its to good to be true! We know each other for fifteen years, our parents was bestfriend until now even they got move for five years because their family business, then now sudenly in a month they already preparing us a wedding dreams! Yeah...for me more precisely, not Kai. But, why he did'nt say anything to refuse it?! I guess because of our parents, I think he's afraid that it will make a weird atmosphere if it happens...its win-win for me but not for him, so I guess I'll try my best to be a good wife to him. I took a seat after hearing the maid preparing our food, they brought it to us because our parents order, they think we should take our time together until they finish talking..."This is good, right? The moment, the weather and the food...its good, right?", I smile bitterly to him and see him in the eyes to convience me about all this moment, "Yeah...I enjoy it", he smiling to me but his eyes mean nothing...I gues if something bad happen to our marriage, I must endure it by myself.

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"So you're engage, now?", I hum and nod to him, "Should we celebrate it?", I hum and nod again, "Did you in love me?", "MWOYA?!", then I see him chuckle at me, "So you can speak now, Jein-ah?", I got confused for a while and realize, then I hit his hand, "Dont play with me Kris!", "Dont you happy finally you got your dream guy?", I leaned my head on his shoulder, "Of course I'm happy Kris, but...I know his not feel the same to me, he just respect his family and mine, thats way he accept this engagement", I sighing hard and I feel his hand around my shoulder, "Mianhae, Jein-ah...its your private matter, I wont do anything...I can only support all your decision", I see him and smile, "Its okay Kris...at least you're here with me, you always with me whatever my state is, gomawo Kris", sudenly he make me sat strightly, "Remember one thing, if you got yourself exhausted dont forget to take a rest until you feeling better, then you can continue again, araso!", I salute him, "NE DUIZHANG!", we laugh together, he kiss my forehead lovingly and I got my head to lean again at his shoulder...Why I'm not falling in love with Kris? Why my heart choose Kai? Tch...

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Here I am, I'm not just Kangjein...I'm Mrs. Kim now! Yeah, finally...finally we got married! I keep my promise to be a good wife, I got everything he need and I do it with love even I did'nt feel the same from him...he just 'RESPECT' me as his wife! Kai is almost perfect for me as a husband, he did'nt do anything wrong from the start, always friendly and nice...but, thats the gap he gave to me, everything but love! I cant do anything except be grateful to everything I got from him, I just have to bear the decision that already take...

I wake up and prepare our breakfast like usual, of course while I do everything Kai still got his beauty sleep, after I finish I go upstair to wake him up, before that I open the curtain to let the sunlight coming in, "Jongin-ah, wake up...raise and shine sleepy head", I shake him a bit but he did'nt budge, then I blow his eyes slowly and see his eyes got twitch, he so cute..."Jongin-ah, wake up...I already prepare your breakfast, if your not coming now your breakfast will cold", his eyes slowly open and blink recurly until he look strighly to my eyes, such a beautiful brown eyes...I smile and got up, "I'll wait downstair, okay?", I leave him to prepare his thing.

I guess I have to go now, what took him so long? Is he taking his nap again? I decide to go upstair again, reach the room I take a peek..."Yeah, just come... Kangjein will go shortly, she got her work already, so you can come after she left...I need your company in this marriage, otherwise I'll stuck by myself!", after he hung up the phone I enter the room, "Jongin-ah, you have'nt shower yet?", I see him looks uncomfortably when see me come, "Jein-ah, how long you standing there?", "Recently, waeyo?", sudenly he looks relieved, "Aniya, I'll go shower now", I just nod and leave. I think the paranoid feeling that I wait its in process now...if its true then I'll just let him go, even it will hurts me a lot.

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After work at Cafe : "How are you, Jein-ah?", "I'm good, Kris...you?", we release our embrace and take a seat, "So how's your marriage life? Its been long time since our last meet, right?", "Like you see, I got my dream guy and I extremly happy!", Kris hold my hand on the table, how much I miss his hand...I feel save and warm, "I'm happy for you, Jein-ah...but, you do remember what I said to you formerly, right?", I think for a second and smile, "Of course I remember, and whats the point for this?", his other hand my cheek lightly, "You look tired, Jein-ah...are you okay?", I held his hand that still in my cheek, "I'm okay, Kris...its just sometimes I forgot to take a rest", he release his hand from my grip and sighing hard, "Jein-ah, I miss you...I miss my old friend Kangjein", I chuckle at him and pinch both his cheek, "Nado, Kris!", he laugh lightly and pinch my nose. At least, Kris here with me at the right time even my heart will always belong to Kai...

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Reach the house I go directly to Kai's room, he's still asleep...I guess his work really knock him off! I sit at the edge of his bed and shook him a bit, "Jongin-ah...you've eaten?", but he did'nt budge, I his hair...my silky black hair prince, I love you but you dont feel the same, "Jongin-ah...wake up, you've eaten?", he make a little moan and turn around, then I poke his cheeks a bit, "Jongin-ah...come on, wake up...", finally I see those eyes blink several times and see me, I smile to see his adoreable wake up look, "Jongin-ah...you've eaten?", with his sleepy look, he shook his head, "Okay then I'll made it for you", I chuckle and got up, "Wait!", he pull  my skirt a bit, while he got in sit position I stop and sit again, "Waeyo, are you sick?", I lay my hand to his forehead and neck, then compare it to mine...he's okay, "Aniya...I'm okay, Jein-ah", "You want me to bring your food, here?", "Ani...I'll eat downstair", "Waeyo?", I look deep into his eyes, then I got space out until I did'nt realize his face got closer to mine and closing our space...he kiss me. I still got shock, I did'nt know what to do...he realise and pull out, then we staring at each other. I caress his cheek and he hold my hand then squeez it lightly, I smile and let go, "Jongin-ah, I'll prepare your food and call you when I finish", I got up and go out from his room. While cooking I keep thinking the moment earlier, I'm happy and shock too...but, its just a kiss nothing more. While in deep tought, I dont know Kai already stood behind my back and sudenly wraping his hand on my waist then...kiss my neck gently, I feel my body stiffen, "Sorry...cant wait for your call, Jein-ah, did I surprise you?", I try to relaxing my body from his backhuging me, "Jongin-ah, I cant cook properly if you keep clinging like this, do you mind to sit there?", "No can do!", he keep clinging and nuzzling at me, I give up and giggle, "You're such a bad boy!", I turn around and pinch his nose, he laugh but did'nt move his hand from my waist, so I have to drag him to living room and force him to sit, "Sit or no food, Kim Jongin!", before I can step out, I dont know his feet blocking my way, I fell down smoothly! Urgh..."Kweanchana?", I nod to him, wait the minute...then reality hit me, I open my eyes and see Kai under me?! "Jongin?!", I get up immediately, but Kai turn around my body and now he on top of me?! Dammit...WTH is wrong with him?! And why am I blushing, I love him but this is wrong...he just toying on me!! He linked his fingers with me firmly and look into my eyes deeply, slowly but sure closering his face to mine, closing our space...kissing me without hesitate! I feel the passion build between us, its just not a mere kiss, our tongue is already move to each other, we explore and satisfied our need until we run out of breath..."Jein-ah", he call out my name while catch a breath, "Ne...", so do I, again...we look to each other, "Saranghae", WHAT?! IS HE KIDDING ME?! I loosen our linked finger and look away, I sighing hard and smile then look to him again, "Nado...come on, lets get up! Your food is burning!", I push him lightly and release myself from his weight, I did'nt take look to him again...

I wake up in morning with a headache, I could'nt sleep properly last night...I try to got up from bed, but I got myself sitting on a floor beside the bed. While sitting I lean my head and close my eyes again, then massaging my forehead a bit...I drowning on myself until I did'nt hear Kai coming to my room. "Morning", I open my eyes and see his face just an inch from mine, before I could react he already peck my lips! "Jongin?!", then I realize I did'nt wear anything accept my tee and short, I got up in flash to grab my robe but he already pull me to his laps, "Jein-ah", his hand sneak and circling my waist, then kissing crook of my neck...makes me shiver, automaticly I hold on to his shoulder, "Jongin-ah...I have to work", he tighten the embrace, he makes me breathless not because of the embrace but his suden intimacy..."Jein-ah...saranghae", my body stiffen, I'm happy to hear it...but, I know that was just words he say to me as a friend, "Nado...Jongin-ah", I hug him back, then we facing each other, I smile and got up then get my robe. I almost reach it until sudenly Kai turned my body facing him, he pull my neck and kiss me a bit rough, my knees weakened...his lips keep attacking mine, I must hold on to his shoulder when he pull my waist. He led my body to bed, while kissing I feel his hand start to rambling, every single touch that he gave makes me shiver and feeling a weird sensation, I must stop this! "Jongin-ah...please...I have...to work...please", but it feels like useless, "Really? Should I really stop this, Jein-ah?", breathlessly I say, "Ne...", he still continue to fondling, "I cant hear you, Jein-ah? You want me to stop this?", while griping the bed sheet, I try hardly to determined myself, "Ne, Jongin...just stop!", I try to move from his body and get up, before I reach the bathroom, he pull me again and pinned to the wall, then kiss me roughly like he did earlier and give marks to my neck, after that he whispering to my ear, "You're mine and always be mine", then he walkout without looking back...WTH is that?!

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Somethings wrong with Kai, I keep wondering while working until finish it, he gives me goosebump all day long today! Now I hesitate to go home, even I reach our house I still standing outside, but I will entering no matter what... I tought I'll met Kris today, but even we met I dont dare to tell the story to him! While sighing hard I entering the house and changing my cloths, then bundle my hair...I go to Kai's room, I feel a bit relieve when know he has'nt home yet, but I was wrong! I turn around choked, "Jongin!", "I'm home, miss me?", he pinned to wall and kiss me deeply, until I feel run of breath and push him, while gasping I try to walkout from there, but he pull me back and carry me to his room...WTF?! We both landing on his bed and he start to fondle, OMG! "Jongin!", I try to out from the bed, but he keep draging me to bed, "Jein-ah, where are you going?", its like we strugling each other, I'm totally exhausted, "Jongin-ah let me cook our food first...please!", I push him with my rest energy, he just smirk, "I enjoying my food now", while blushing I still keep pushing his body, "Your food not mine!", when I almost out the bed, he grab my waist...urgh! "Whats wrong with you, I'm trying to make love with you but why you keep shun me away? We love each other right?", I'm a bit shock to hear those sentences from his mouth, "Of course we love each other, you're my husband...I must love you", I see him sit straigh, "What do you mean, you must love me? You make it sounds like that an obligation for you?", "We're husband and wife, Jongin...we have to make this marriage work, of course we must love each other", "I still hearing this marriage is a job for you, so your task is love me and make this marriage stable! Or your true love is someone else until now, so you push your heart harder to love me? Did you?", now I'm totally shock, "What are you talking about? What nonsense is this?", I stood up and walk away, but he grab my wrist, "Is it Kris? You're in love with Kris?", I try to release my hand, "You hurting me, Jongin!", now he grab my shoulders and force me to facing him, "Its Kris, right?! I've should know it earlier with the way he look at you, hold your hand, caressing your hair!", how did he know? "Are you stalking me?!", "Is it matter? Like you say, we have to work this marriage, so as your husband I have to know what my wife doing outside!", I sighing hard but I try not to cry, "I cant believe you'll act like this...since when, since when you spying on me, Jongin?", "Are you trying to found something to divorce me?", thats it...he got my nerve, "I'm the one that should say that to you, Jongin! Did you remember when I come to your room, after you hung up the phone from a woman, I heard everything you said on the phone, I need your company in this marriage, otherwise I'll stuck by myself, then when you realise my presence you look like seeing a ghost! Then I hear you saying I love you this last two days, WTH is that mean when you have your heart for someone else, Jongin?!", after that both of us silent, theres only hard breathing from the angerness...

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Last night after our fight, I walkout from his room and go to my room then lock it...crying hard until I fall asleep, when I wake up and look to the mirror it gives me terrible mood, I look so freaking mess! Kim Jongin, you're such an ... Finally I can manage myself to go to work with awfull state!

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After work at Park : "Come here...lean on me until you gain your strength, Jein-ah", I put my head to his shoulder while he embaracing mine, "I dont know loving someone can be so tiring, Kris", he chuckle at me and my hair, "If its worth to be than keep on going, do it unconditionally", I smile bitterly and look to him, "Gomawo, Kris...I'm lucky to have you in my life", Kris know my problem but he did'nt ask, just be there for me like always... "Then why you guys did'nt marry?", both of us look at each other and look back, "Jongin?!", "I'll grant your wish, I'll divorce you, Jein", with poker face he turning back and walk away, before I reach him Kris already go after and...punch him! "Kris!", I see Kai falling down and start to fight back, "Stop! Both of you, please stop!", but they keep on fight until Kris laying his last punch, Kai knock down powerless..."Damn you, Kai! How can you say that to Jein?! Dont you know he totally in love with you?! I see her like a stupid lover, you keep hurting him but she keep loving you! It hurts me a lot to see her like that, I love her with all my heart, I always by her side but her heart always belong to you, ! And now you'll make her become a widow?! You're absolutely jackass! !", Kris hug me while I'm sobing hard, "Come on, Jein...tonight you sleep at my place, let him alone, let him think his folly!", Kris led me to his car and left Kai alone, lie down weakly...

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Kris let me back to house after I convince him painstakingly! I hope I did'nt meet him this morning, I go directly to my room to packing some cloths for me to be outside the house, I open my wardrobe and start collecting my cloths..."Mianhae...mianhae, Jein-ah", Kai hold my upper hand and lean at the back of my head, it surprising me at the moment but it did'nt stop me to packing my cloths, "Its okay, Jongin...if its makes you happy for divorcing me, I give that up for you", I turn around and put my cloths to the suitcase, "Like you said, we have to work this marriage...then lets work it out", he hold my hand, I just smile bitterly, "We're married because you respect my parents and their friendship for long time, dont worry about that again...I'll tell them, I initiative our divorce", I put my cloths again to arrange my suitcase, sudenly...Kai turn my body facing him and cupped my face and he kiss my lips gently, then he look into my eyes deeply, "We're married because I love you, Jein-ah...there's no other woman, my heart belongs to you and the conversation that you hear was right, without her company I'll stuck in this marriage, she is my counselor she's marriage too and have two kids...I'm sorry we have to deal with this bad experience, but I really love you, Jein-ah, I really do", he kiss me again and I feel he kiss me with despair, while kissing I taste saltiness from his lips...is he crying?! When he end the kiss, I see his eyes and feel his remorse, "Jongin-ah...I'm sorry for the tears, I'm sorry for every tear drop from your eyes, its just from the start I already resignedly this marriage, I see from your look you did'nt give in to it so I just convince myself to stay strong if bad things happen like you cheat on me...like Kris said, I'm just a stupid lover", I laugh bitterly while look down, he lift my chin"You're not alone, both of us fool...we're stupid lover", we both laugh and we look deep into each others eyes, then we kiss tenderly. We pull out and collide our forehead, "Jein-ah...everybody say, make up is the best...should we try it?", I pull out and gawking, WTF?! "I'm out!", stupid Jongin, how can he ruin this sweet moment! I heard him chuckle while catch up on me, he backhuging me, "I'm kiding...and your gawking face was priceless, you know!", we both laugh again, then I nudge him, "If you do that again, I'll lock my room!", he turn around my body and pinned me to the door, "This is our room, Jein-ah...did you forget that?", he whisper seductively and my ear, urgh..."You're such a bad boy, Kim Jongin!", I cant believe we end up in making out and the rest...let your fantasy make their way, guys!!

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