I shiver at the touch of the cold water on my feet. "It's been 1 year since I went to this beach for the last time. The memories we shared came back to my mind. Our cuddling moments we had on the sand. Our kisses we shared under the water...

Your lips on mine.

 

I miss these moments, I wish you could come back to me.

 

 I miss you..."

 

"If you ever feel down, remember, there is always a solution"

 

"Today's the day, the day you left me. It was exactly 5 years ago." I throw sand at the sea watching it sink as I remember your face."The face I will never get to see anymore, The face i beg everyday to see one last time... You left me without saying goodbye, I should hate you for doing such a thing, but I guess it was the time for you to go, I guess you're happier now... I came to this beach every year on this day, waiting for you to come back, you never did. Of course you won't , but I still hope I'll get to see you one day, even if it's a short amount of time, I wanna see you for the last time. You told me once, that If you left I'll have to get over you. But I can't, I'm sorry..."

 

I closed my eyes, I can still smell your scent. "The one I loved to smell everyday, waking up in your arms, the one I loved to smell when cuddling with you. I loved everything about you. There wasn't a thing that I disliked. I may sound like a liar but I'm not. I remember all these fights we had, all the times you saidd you hated me and vice versa... I remember the times you would come after a fight with your puffy eyes and messy hair, wearing your pajamas and rilakkuma slippers, how cute you looked. I couldn't stay mad at you. After that we would watch movies til' we fall asleep into each other's arms. We were kids, kids madly in love with each other... How happy we were! I remember the 1st time we met. You were a 12 year old kid. At 1st I didn't liked your personnality, you sounded like a rude . A 12 year old rude hot . Yeah I was already a ert in these times. The ert and the rude hot "I giggled at my own statement. "We didn't like each other during these years, didn't we ? In fact, we hated each other's company. I don't really remember why but I know the time when I started ... Falling for you, I hated you but you were costantly in my mind, bugging me... I thought all that was ridiculous, I couldn't fall for a girl... So I dated this guy, I don't even remember his name thought. All these memories... I was only 16 years old when I fell in love with you, I couldn't even make you mine since we hated each other ... How I remember this night, it was the high school prom, my boyfriend refused to go since he hated these kind of things ... I was alone, until you came and sat next to me. At 1st I was shocked, but then I was kind of happy. I kept steeling glances at you ... Until we made eye contact! How embarassing it was! We were both so red" ahaha!" You started talking to me. After that, we started being friends. 1 year after we were best friends until this day, when you confessed to me. Those 3 words you whispered... I felt like my stomach was going to explode. Did you know how much I loved you? I didn't respond to your words... When you ran away I felt like my world broke into pieces. Seing you running and crying like there is no tomorrow litteraly devastated me... So I ran after you, but it was too late... You were on the road, inconscious. My vision got blurry. I screamed your name, no responce. The guy who overthrew you got out of his car and helped you to regain your senses, nothing. Hopefully emergencies arrived quickly. I waited whole day and night at the hospital. I didn't call my parents, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. All that matered was you, and only you. The moment I heard you calling my name, I felt like I was reviving. You were safe! I pecked on your lips, several times. At 1st you didn't react but as I continued, we kissed more and more piassionately. How I cherish this day... After 4 years of loving you I could finally make you mine." I love you so much

 

"At 1st our parents didn't like this idea of same dating, they even hated it. I still fully remember the day we ran away together, on my 18th birthday! We had no money, nowhere to sleep or something to eat. But we had the main thing, each other's presence. We were so much in love it could have killed us... Hopefully you found some work, not a big deal but we could have some money to rent an apartment. Then I myself found something. I hated my job, a waitress, but I had to do it... We lived a happy life together. Madly in love with each other. But things went wrong... You lost your parents and sister in a car accident... You started drinking... Smoking...taking drugs... Lost your job... Became depressive. I tried everything to get you back. As the old you ... But I couldn't it was too late... You started cutting. I can remember clearly how many cuts were on your wrists. It devastated me. Seing the most precious thing in my life getting destroyed by herself... Why did you do that ? Punishing yourself for what ? You did nothing wrong... My love, my everything... Please stop, I love you too much to not react at that. But you didn't listened to me...You continued... I couldn't stop you... You lost everything. Even yourself ... Please get back to the old you... I beg you! The old you made my life complete..."

 

"One day, when I went back from work, exhausted. It was almost midnight. I was starving. I didn't eat at lunch. I was too much worried about you... I lost a lot a weight since you started being depressed. The depressed you was someone so much different then the happy tiny girl I knew ... When I entered the bathroom. My life stoped. I couldn't breathe. You were lying on the floor. unconscious. Blood all over the bathroom. I screamed your name, no response. I called the emergency. They took you to the hospital. They did everything to get you back. I waited 18 hours sitting on the hospital bench, waiting for a sign of you. I waited until a person with a white blouse came out of the room... The words he said to me literally killed me. "We are sorry, she couldn't make it" . My knees started to shake. It was not possible!! You're stronger than that! When I entered the room. There you were, sleeping peacefully. The 1st time in 2 years. The 1st time you could sleep peacefully, but the last time too... A tear fell down my cheeks, another, I started crying my life out. I couldn't stop myself. You were gone, I couldn't have you back. Ever. Why did you leave me ? Weren't you the one who said everything had a solution ?! Is that your solution? Leaving me? ... I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I tried my best, but it wasn't successfull... I'm so sorry... "

I start walking into the water, not caring about anything but you. I walk, and walk the water gets deeper and deeper... I can't breathe anymore. Water is covering me. My vision gets blurry, I don't react anymore. After few minutes, I start falling... Am I dying ? Why is it so peacefull suddenly? Is that the feeling dying ? ... Oh my love I'll get to see you now... I hope you want me. I hope I can make you happy. I hope I made the right choice. I want to live next to you... Wait for me I'm coming ... I can see you now. I wished this day until you left me, Lee Chaerin

 

Today, February 26th, I died.

 

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I hope you liked this story ^^ it was like so depressing I'm sooooooo sorry but it suits my curent mood... I cried so much writing this so you better enjoy it ahaha