The afternoon sun lit up the small yet cozy wooden house of ours, the light reflecting off my brother’s pale face. We were lounging by the window, our backs against the warm wooden wall.

“Adventures start from beyond this small town,” he told me, his doe eyes staring into blank space dreamily.

“Don’t feed her crap. She’s just a little girl, you should know better!” my mom called from the kitchen.

“I’m only a year younger,” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

“Have you heard about the enchanted ring?” Sungjong asked.

“Sungjong!” my mother snapped.

My mother never liked it when my brother tells me tall tales. She said it “rots her innocent brain.” I had to scoff at that comment.

Sungjong mocked the action of zipping his lips and threw my hands up in surrender as I stifled a laugh.

“Jangmi-ah,” my mom called.

“Yes?” I responded as I sprang onto my feet.

I settled down on the bamboo chair, crossing my longish legs in front of me. My mom raked her thin fingers through her wiry dark, graying hair.

“So, I met with the Jung family earlier,” she started. “They are very willing to meet you.”

“Meet me?” I was confused. “What for?”

My mother hesitated. She let out a sigh and said the word I dreaded the most, “Marriage.”

She just dropped the M-word. “What?” I exclaimed, bewildered, shooting up the chair. “I’m only sixteen!”

“Jangmi,” she sighed. “Our family’s financial condition is worsening by each coming month.”

My face grew hot. “Oh, so this is about money? I can’t believe you. I don’t even know him, Mother. You’re going to marry me off to some guy because of money?” My voice had risen by an octave by the last word.

“You’ll get a chance to meet him, then you decide whether or not you want to marry him or not.”

“What if I don’t? Are you just going to find another rich family to marry me off to?”

“I’m trying to give you a better life.”

“It’d be better if I wouldn’t have to marry.” I scowled.

“Is something wrong?” Sungjong called out.

“Everything’s just peachy,” I said through gritted teeth, my hands clenching into a tight fist. “Mom, are you seriously trying to get me to marry this guy? I don’t care about living in poverty anymore. I just want to be someone I actually love.”

“Jangmi,” she sighed. “I know it was hard to lose him.”

“No you don’t. You don’t know how hard it is.” I clenched my fist so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

“You need to take your mind off him. It’ll be for the better.”

“No. It isn’t.”

“Jangmi.” She gave me that ‘I’m-disappointed-in-you’ look — her lips set in a tight line, the corners turned down slightly and her eyes stern.

I gave her one last look and my heel. I walked to my room, ignoring her calls. I sat in the corner, bringing my knees to my chest.

I wish I wasn’t a girl. I wish I wasn’t sixteen yet. I wish my life wasn’t like this. I wish he would still be here. I choked back a sob. I clamped my hand over my mouth to muffle them. Another sob got caught in my throat. And another.

I miss you.

<:>

 “The enchanted ring, a golden band with intricate carving, is hidden high in the snowy mountains. It is unguarded as no one has ever dared to walk through the forbidden forest which leads to the mountains,” Sungjong whispered that night, when Mother had gone to sleep. His brown hair swept over his right eye as he adjusted his position. “This old man had trekked up the mountains and as his last wish; he kept the ring hidden inside one of the caves. It contains enough power for a person to rule the entire country.”

“Anything else?” I asked eagerly. I wanted to know as many things about the ring as possible.

“Wow,” I breathed.  “I want to go see for myself.”

 “It’s a dangerous journey there, Jangmi.”

“Let me live my life,” I sighed. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I have to be cooped up here waiting for Mother to marry me off to some guy!” Then, quietly I added, “I still can’t get over him.”

“So that’s what the argument was about,” he muttered. “It’s all the way up in the North. You know that we are at war.”

I shot him a glare. The word “war” was a taboo to me. “I don’t care. It’s better that sitting here, twiddling my thumbs as my fiancé just sits there, trying to make conversation with me.”

My brother sighed. “Jangmi, you might get caught and be a prisoner.”

“I’m not that stupid. I won’t get caught.”
He looked at me, pursing his lips slightly. “Sure.”

I rolled my eyes. There it is. ist comment coming out his mouth soon.

But he stayed silent.

“We should go to sleep,” he said.

I nodded in agreement and settled on the floor. I tried to get some sleep on the cold, creaky wooden floor.

<:>

I chewed on the freshly baked sweet bread, a rare delicacy in our household. I was wearing one of my best dresses, just as my mother had requested me to.

“You’re meeting with the Jung family’s son this afternoon.”

The strange feeling of fury bubbled up inside me. I felt that it would burst out any second. I rarely get angry but after dropping the marriage topic… “I don’t want to meet him. Call it off,” I snapped.

“Jangmi,” my mother warned, her lips set in a tight line. “I can’t simply call it off. We’re also meeting with the matchmaker.”

“Even worse.” I grabbed my hooded cloak — the only memory I have left of him— and fled out the house.

I stormed through the muddy ground under the sweltering heat of the sun, seemingly impervious to it, not caring about the fact that the hem of my pristine white dress was turning even browner, dirtier with each step I took.

My choice is never taken into concern, I thought angrily. So what if I’m a woman? So what if I don’t want to get married off to someone I don’t even love? It’s my own life. I have not even gotten over him and Mother decides that the perfect way is to marry me off.

I walked on, my feet slightly sinking into the damp ground. After walking past the mud, I made a left turn to a secluded area. I strode through the length of the narrow way, holding the skirt of my dress up, to prevent further damage.

A droplet of water hit my face. I blinked rapidly and looked up. The rain immediately started to fall relentlessly.

“Are you serious?” I cursed under my breath. I pulled up the hood of my cloak and sought shelter underneath a broken down tile roof. I sat with my back against the slick wall and let out an exasperated sigh. I brushed my wet hair off my face.

I guess I’m not going home tonight.

hey, I updated.