It was always the same.Same images,same names,same places....like a continous deja-vu,flashing over and over again in my mind...But what right have i to say 'my mind'?...no one.

Even now,when i'am writing all these on the white wall,i dont feel like doing it...i cant see my hand moving or the letters appearing...i cant see what i'am writing and i dont know why i do it.

Today it's a different day.I know what my name is.Or was...Minki.Choi Minki.A succesful singer and entertainer.I'am the most beautiful boy in my country.

My blond long hair it's my signature.Or was.My painted nails,plump lips,seductive eyes.I brought my hand to my head.Emptiness.Just skin...bare skin with no hair.No more hair.But i dont feel my nails digging into no matter how big is the preassure i put in there.Skin on skin,that's all i feel.

I looked at my hands and my fingers are snow white.I started to move them in front of my face,doing different shapes with them.I hate the one  with my fingers curled inside,the tips touching.It makes my face wet.It makes me sad and it makes cry.I hate that shape but  i keep doing it....because it's a good pain.And i need it.That's all i can feel in my different days...bad or good ones,i dont know.Just different.

But this time the heart shape keep growing...and growing,and growing.Like it want to eat me up.Maybe this is the end.Or maybe not.

I ran to the wall putting my  hands there.I'am scared.My white blouse it's wet and my eyes are stinging.I want to break that shape but i cant,no matter how hard i try.My fingertips are glued together.And the water keep flowing down my face.

I closed my eyes,wanting to stop everything.The pain,the water...my life.Everything.

But i see a face in front of me now.And on my sides too.On the wall.On the floor.Everywhere i see it.For the first time...i never saw him before.

He is brown haired,with big chocolate eyes,fair skin.He is beautiful.And he is smiling at me.At me.

I smiled back.His laughter it's precious.And infectious.I started to laugh,following him.The room it's filled with his face now.He's omnipresent.

My head it's spinning and i'am trying to keep my balance..One of his images,appeared in the middle of my heart shape.And a name came into my mind.

Baekho.

I wanted to take the pen and write his name down,so i can remember him forever.But my hands are dead.I managed to get the pen in my mouth and i wrote his name on the wall.Baekho. This name echoed in my mind.My heart started to burn and i felt like i'am in Hell already.

Then i saw the look in his eyes.He was looking at me..with love.Love.What is love??

I dont know,but i knew i was loved.By him.And i felt the same.I loved him back.Finally the water on my face made sense,everythind made sense.

He was my boyfriend.I took the pen and wrote those 3 words right near his name.On the wall.And smiled again.I was happy.Then everything went blank.

Next day they founded his dead body,his clothes wet,a smile on his swollen face,his fingers curled in a heart shape.

And on the wall,barely readable,was written: Baekho i love you.