Kyungsoo was never one for parties.

Not that his friends cared, as they dragged him party to party. Kyungsoo counts that this is their fifth party this week with a bitter grimace. He hates the holidays. Too much stress over gifts, bills, and doting over his friends after they drink too much and come home with a hangover.

Kyungsoo lets out a long sigh as he checks his watch for the tenth time in the past hour. New Years parties are by far the worst. Nothing but loud, obscene music and too much alcohol – neither of which Kyungsoo is particularly fond of. He stands in the corner with his cup of apple cider, waiting for the night to be over so he can leave with his inconsiderate friends.

People try to talk to him meanwhile. Yifan brings him over some snacks every now and then, asking how he is (although Kyungsoo's sure it's just Yifan being a good host, as this is his party, the one he holds every year at New Years and the one Baekhyun and Chanyeol never fail to drag him along to). Jongdae would try to con him into alcohol, too, but Kyungsoo shoos him away halfheartedly, knowing Jongdae would never do him actual harm.

He spots Junmyeon walking over, as he usually does to strike up small talk while secretly looking for Jongdae. Kyungsoo usually doesn't mind, because Junmyeon is kind and polite and doesn't stay very long.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, long time, no see," Junmyeon says with an easygoing smile. Kyungsoo nods back.

"Yeah, I've been busy these days, with studies and all," Kyungsoo replies as always, and Junmyeon just smiles knowingly.

"Still, you should come out more! It's no fun only seeing you at these parties for a few minutes. Baekhyun told me he tried to get you to come to our movie night, but you said no."

"It was finals week," Kyungsoo says with a shrug. "I'll go next time." It's a lie, but it pleases Junmyeon for the time being.

"That's good. We miss seeing you out. You haven't really been with us that much lately ever since he left, you know."

Kyungsoo's lip twitches as he tries to refrain from frowning. "That's not the reason why," he reassures Junmyeon, who doesn't seem to be listening anyway, scanning the room as always. "I've been really busy lately. I graduate this year, so I've just been buckling down is all."

Junmyeon looks at him now, and Kyungsoo is surprised that Junmyeon almost looks... tired at Kyungsoo's response. Like he's heard it, again and again, which he has. He looks like he's about to say something, but closes his mouth as he spots someone in the room. Kyungsoo guesses it's Jongdae, from the way Junmyeon looks like he's going to pee his pants any moment. "I'll see you around then, okay, Kyungsoo? Seriously, come out with us some time! We all miss you!" Junmyeon shouts as he leaves.

Kyungsoo waves at him halfheartedly. He goes back to counting the seconds when he hears someone clear his throat. Thinking it's just another one of his friends, maybe Minseok this time, he looks up to greet him but the words die on the tip of his tongue.

"Hi."

Kyungsoo's breath hitches. It's him.









Kyungsoo met Jongin two years ago at this exact party. Jongin was the new kid in town, studying at a nearby college with Yixing, Sehun, and Luhan. He was rather shy, so he stuck by the snack table the entire time. Kyungsoo, before he found his spot in the corner, spent his time by the snack table as well during Yifan's parties.

And fate would have it that they meet as their hands touch as they both go for the popcorn bowl. Kyungsoo pulled back immediately, mumbling a 'sorry,' while Jongin froze in place as he looked up to see who he just brushed fingers with.

They bonded over food and their mutual awkwardness around people (and the fact that they had friends in the same circle didn't hurt, either).

For the first time, time actually flew by for Kyungsoo. Talking to Jongin was relaxing, as their conversation flowed with ease.

As the crowd count-downed until the new years, they exchanged phone numbers. Kyungsoo scrawled down his number on a napkin as neatly as he could, while Jongin had the audacity to grab his hand and write his number on Kyungsoo's palm. (And for someone who hates being touched, Kyungsoo didn't mind Jongin's warm fingers at all.)

When the clock struck midnight, Jongin pressed a shy kiss to the back of Kyungsoo's hand and murmured, "Happy New Years, Kyungsoo." It was different, but it was nice. It was really, really nice, and Kyungsoo never forgot about it.











And he still remembers today. In the time that passed, Jongin and Kyungsoo became best of friends who planned to rent an apartment together (as friends, they insisted) and spent lazy afternoons cooking together. Kyungsoo developed a growing crush on the older, and right when he thought the feelings were reciprocated, things changed.

As in, Jongin was transferred to complete his studies in a different country. It was a one-in-a-million chance for the young man, and Kyungsoo refused to let Jongin know how disappointed he was to have Jongin leave.

He still refuses to let Jongin know how disappointed he was and still is.

"Hi," Kyungsoo finally manages to squeak back after gawking a bit too long. He watches as Jongin's lips quirked, and Kyungsoo bit down on his bottom lip. He missed that more than he would ever want to admit.

He watches as Jongin fiddles with the plate in his hand, and can't help but smile when he sees the popcorn. "I, uh, told Baekhyun I was... coming back..." he starts awkwardly, and Kyungsoo's smile is replaced by a slight frown. They were never this tense before.

Then again, it's been months since they last spoke. After Jongin left with a broken smile, Kyungsoo stayed with his broken heart. It was hard to deal with just phone calls and e-mails – he needed more. But he couldn't have more.

So he cut off everything. He thought it'd be easier, that maybe if he stopped talking to Jongin, the feelings would disappear.

They didn't.

But the unread e-mails and many voicemails multiplied over the past few months instead. Kyungsoo didn't touch them, afraid that reading one or – even worse – listening to a voicemail and hearing Jongin's voice would drive him over the edge, begging for Jongin to come back.

"He didn't tell me," Kyungsoo murmurs, watching as Jongin's lips curve downwards.

"Oh."

"Yeah." They fall into silence, Jongin fidgeting while Kyungsoo checking his watch again. It seems that time has slowed down.










It used to be that there was never enough time to be with Jongin. Kyungsoo could spend 18 hours (essentially the entire day) with Jongin, but it never felt like it was enough to take in everything.

"What's wrong?" Jongin asked one night, after they went to the zoo together (Chanyeol's idea, although he bailed last minute for no reason). It was almost midnight, and they were standing outside of Kyungsoo's dorm.

"Nothing's wrong," Kyungsoo lied, pretending to look for his keys just to stall for time. There was nothing left to say at the moment, but that didn't matter – Kyungsoo simply treasured Jongin's presence. As cheesy at it sounds, Jongin made him feel safe and warm.

"Really?" Jongin asked, and it was obvious he didn't believe it. "Because you always keep your room keys in your front left pocket so you don't have to fumble for them, like you are now."

Kyungsoo froze, eyes focused on the door in front of him now. He was caught in the crime of wanting Jongin('s presence), and it was too embarrassing to admit to. Jongin knew him better than Kyungsoo thought.

"I, uh, forgot," he replied lamely.

"Uh huh." Jongin sounded like he was about to argue, but decided against it. "You sure nothing's wrong?"

Kyungsoo fidgeted, taking out his keys. "Yeah," he mumbled. He was about to open the door when Jongin grabbed his wrist and tugged, not too harshly though, so that Kyungsoo was facing him.

"Kyungsoo," Jongin warned, staring down at him with those eyes. People said Kyungsoo has 'judging eyes,' but Kyungsoo thought they hadn't seen Jongin's. Jongin's eyes could pierce through your soul with a single glance. Or maybe that was just Kyungsoo.

"W-What?" he stammered, a flush rising to his cheeks immediately. Their faces were inches away, and Kyungsoo felt out of breath.

"What's wrong?" Jongin repeated for the umpteenth time. There was a warning in his voice, laced with concern and something else. Kyungsoo knew he couldn't lie again to Jongin.

"I just..." Kyungsoo sighed, chewing his right cheek nervously. It was so embarrasing to think, and even worse – admit out loud to Jongin of all people. It would be so much easier to lie and say he was feeling sick, but Jongin's intense stare didn't help the situation. "Don't want this night to end." Kyungsoo mumbled the last part as quietly as he could, but he could tell Jongin heard it anyway from the grin spreading across his lips.

Kyungsoo expected teasing at the very least. After all, any of his other friends were sure to have laughed at that. But to his surprise (and pleasure), Jongin only continued grinning down at Kyungsoo, causing butterflies to form in his stomach.

"What?" Kyungsoo snapped, wanting to wipe that grin off of Jongin's face now. He looked like an idiot, and it wasn't fair that Kyungsoo liked said idiot.

"Nothing," Jongin said, stepping back now and letting go of Kyungsoo, but not his grin. "I agree actually."

"What," Kyungsoo repeated, glaring at him. If Jongin was playing with him, he'd slam the door on him.

"I agree," Jongin repeated. "I wish this night would never end, too." There was a secret in Jongin's grin that Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not.

It felt nice, though, to be wanted back. Kyungsoo was secretly jumping at Jongin's words inside, but he managed to keep a cool look on (minus the seemingly everlasting flush on his cheeks).

"But it's okay, because we have tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after," Jongin said, smiling from ear to ear now. Kyungsoo tried his hardest to keep glaring at the younger, but it was hard when Jongin beamed like that.

"You're an idiot," Kyungsoo informed him, matching smile and all.

"Your idiot," Jongin reminded him.

"Good night, Jongin," Kyungsoo said with a laugh, shaking his head as he moved to open the door.

"Good night, Kyungsoo," Jongin replied with a smile, leaving with a small wave. Kyungsoo watched as he left, until he rounded the corner and left Kyungsoo's sight.

Jongin was stupid, but Kyungsoo was no better for falling for him.















It feels like an hour passed before Jongin finally speaks.

"I brought you some popcorn," Jongin says suddenly, pushing the plate forward into his hands. Kyungsoo takes it startlingly, eyes wide as their fingers brush and the nostalgia kicks in. He pulls back apruptly, dropping the paper plate. Jongin looks down at the spilled food, and Kyungsoo's curses at himself mentally.

"Sorry," he breathes, bending down to clean up the mess immediately. He glances up at Jongin, who has dropped to his knees to help Kyungsoo pick up the spilled popcorn.

"It's okay," he says with a crooked smile, and Kyungsoo looks away. No, the feelings really haven't disappeared.

"So how have you been, Kyungsoo?" Jongin asks to fill in the silence as he picks up the crumbs slowly. It's a simple question, but Jongin says it so cautiously that Kyungsoo's afraid to answer, to reply with the wrong answer, whatever that may be.

"Okay, I guess," he replies with a sigh. "A lot of studying..."

"That's good," Jongin says with a nod, but he doesn't seem to really be paying attention to those words in particular. He's searching for something else. "Have you... met anyone new recently?"

Kyungsoo gulps, pausing momentarily. He meets Jongin's eyes by mistake, and his heart clenches at the hope in them. But what does this hope even mean? Kyungsoo has an idea, but he doesn't want to get his hopes up.

He wants to lie, say he's met someone great, say something to make it seem like he's moved on. That he's okay without Jongin.

But it's hard to lie when Jongin looks at him with those hopeful eyes, deep with thoughts Kyungsoo has yet to decipher. "No," he finally chokes out, and he thinks he imagines it when Jongin's shoulders sag in relief.

"That's good," Jongin repeats, a hint of a smile on his lips as he goes back to picking up popcorn pieces, and Kyungsoo stares at him with wide eyes.

He hesitates before asking, "Have you?"

Kyungsoo almost freezes when Jongin stops mid-reach to look at Kyungsoo. He knows that stare, knows it too well, knows it enough to break his heart and piece it back together again, over and over.












Jongin left just a year and four months after Kyungsoo met him. It was a sudden move, but then again, anything involving the breaking of a heart can be considered sudden, even with a month warning.

But before that, during those sixteen months, a heart was being squeezed, molded by Jongin's laugh and the way he rubbed his eyes when he was tired and his warm hands that always find their way to Kyungsoo.

One of Kyungsoo's favorite memories is of one of their simplest activities together – watching movies. Being college students, they didn't have the money to spare on weekly trips to the theaters, so instead, they locked themselves up in one of their dorms (usually Jongin's), threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, and flipped off the lights as they climbed onto Jongin's bed and watched action-packed movies.

But that barely covers half of it. Kyungsoo can't put into words the way Jongin's warm body felt beside him, the way his heart raced at rates he didn't know possible, the way Jongin's hand pressed into the small of his back and Kyungsoo could never tell if it was on purpose or not.

The one thing that Kyungsoo remembers best, that never fails to bring a fond smile to his lips, is the way Jongin's head would fall onto his shoulders by the second movie, followed by soft snores. By then, Kyungsoo wouldn't even be paying attention to the movie, but rather Jongin's steady breaths and the way he fits at the crook of Kyungsoo's neck perfectly.

Then there was one night. One night when Jongin fell asleep, as always, on Kyungsoo's shoulder, and as Kyungsoo sat there, staring at Jongin, said boy's eyes blinked open. Kyungsoo almost pulled away in surprise, and flushed when he realized he'd just been caught gawking at Jongin.

"I–uh, I was going to… wake you up… for the movie," Kyungsoo said lamely, trying to avert his gaze from Jongin and ignore the fact that Jongin was still resting his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"The movie's over, Kyungsoo," Jongin informed him, and Kyungsoo didn't have to look to know Jongin was grinning. Kyungsoo was about to stand up to take out the DVD (and get away from Jongin's piercing gaze), when Jongin pulled him onto his shoulder and rested his head on top of Kyungsoo's head.

"What are you doing?" Kyungsoo squeaked.

"Resting," Jongin replied coolly.

"Why do you need to do that on me, though?"

Jongin pulled away, and Kyungsoo almost wished he hadn't said that because he actually missed the feel of Jongin's shoulder. He looked over at Jongin and was met by a soft look in the other's eyes, unreadable, but it still succeeded in sending shivers down Kyungsoo's spine.

"J–Jongin?" he stammered.

"I don't know why I need you," Jongin murmured, and Kyungsoo gulped.

"Uh–"

"But I do. So stay with me, okay?" There were a million other meanings, questions, and answers behind Jongin's words, but Kyungsoo didn't catch them then. All he could register was Jongin's eyes, unfaltering.

"Okay," he managed to whisper in reply, and let Jongin wrap his arms around him and pull him back into their previous position. He imagined Jongin pressing his lips into Kyungsoo's hair as they fell asleep, rapid heartbeats in rhythm with each other.













It feels like an hour has passed before Jongin answers, gaze still focused on frozen Kyungsoo. His response almost knocks the wind out of Kyungsoo, simply from the anxiety. "No, I haven't," he replies, voice soft like a caress.

"Oh. That's... good," he says awkwardly, and breathes out in relief when he hears Jongin chuckle. It takes them a while to pick up the fallen popcorn, Jongin purposely taking his time and Kyungsoo distracted by Jongin.

Jongin leaves to throw away the popcorn, and Kyungsoo watches him until in swoops Baekhyun.

It's always Baekhyun.

"What do you wa–"

"Getting cozy with Jongin, I see?" Baekhyun interrupts, and Kyungsoo stares at him blankly. To his surprise, Baekhyun doesn't have a teasing grin or knowing look on his face – he just looks wary. Kyungsoo frowns, because that's not the Baekhyun he knows.

"I guess... we were just picking up popcorn," Kyungsoo mumbles, playing with his cold hands. It seems like, no matter how warm the rest of his body was, his hands were always freezing.

"Okay, if that's you're weird way of flirting," Baekhyun sniffles, and Kyungsoo looks at him. Something's off here.

"What are you hiding from me?" he asks, and his suspicions are confirmed when Baekhyun's eyes widen and he takes a step back.

"Nothing! I was just... curious, is all. I mean, Jongin's back, and we all know how much you like him, and how much he likes you, and –"

"What," Kyungsoo deadpans, cutting him off.

Baekhyun chuckles nervously. "What?"

"He doesn't like me," Kyungsoo mumbles with a frown. "Not like that, anyway."

"Of course he does," Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes now. Kyungsoo sees him playing with the hem of his shirt, something Baekhyun does when he's nervous.

"And how would you know?" Kyungsoo asks, eyes narrowed in on his supposed best friend who's apparently hiding something from him.

"Well, it was really obvious, duh," Baekhyun snorts. "Everyone knew, except you."

Kyungsoo stares.

"That... and the fact that he wrote you a letter proclaiming his feelings," Baekhyun says slowly, backing away as Kyungsoo stalks towards him. There's that secret Kyungsoo was expecting. He knew Baekhyun was hiding something from him.

"What."

"I meant to tell you about it earlier, but, well, you never wanted to talk about him!" Baekhyun defends, putting his hands up. "I tried bringing it up subtly once, but the moment I said his name, you left with some lame excuse! I knew how much you missed him, and I thought the letter would only hurt you! I swear!"

Kyungsoo glares at him. When did Baekhyun become a supposedly caring friend anyway?

"But when he told me he was going to show up, I thought I'd bring it up. As a warning, or something," Baekhyun sighs. "But I forgot, and I honestly didn't think he'd make it..." Baekhyun sighs, watching Kyungsoo carefully. "He had a show the night before, you know. He practically ran to his flight to make it in time. Sehun told me."

"But that doesn't make sense. He– He doesn't–"

"If you say he doesn't like you one more time, I will pour your apple cider on top of your head." There's the Baekhyun Kyungsoo knows and grudgingly loves.

"Okay, fine, let's say he did like me–"

"Pretty sure he still does."

"... Did like me. Why would he still like me anymore? I mean, I've ignored him for months now..." Kyungsoo frowns at hearing the words fall from his lips. That sounds a lot worse aloud.

"I dunno. Why don't you ask him?" Baekhyun asks as he pushes Kyungsoo to his doom/fate.












It was about a month ago. It's something Kyungsoo wants to forget, but can't.

It was a late night, and Kyungsoo had just gotten back from another party, Baekhyun and Chanyeol in tow behind him. He pushed them into their room, left them Advil and water, then left for his own bed. Right as he closed the door, he watched as Baekhyun pulled the blanket over Chanyeol before drunkenly falling onto his own bed. Kyungsoo's lips quirked at that.

He checked the time when he got to his own room. 1:46AM. For Jongin, it'd be a little past noon. Maybe it was the fatigue talking (or his heart), but something made Kyungsoo pick up the phone and dial Jongin's number, forgetting international rates and all.

He didn't expect Jongin to answer. He's probably busy in class, or with his friends, or something, Kyungsoo reasoned to himself. He tried coming up with a list of why Jongin won't pick up the phone, a way of talking himself out of this but not really at the same time. Just as he was about to hang up, he heard a quiet, "Hello," on the other side of the line.

And Kyungsoo couldn't speak. He bit his own lips to keep himself from choking on a sob. How long had it been since he last heard that husky voice? Too long.

"Hello?" Jongin asked again.

"I miss you," died in Kyungsoo's throat as he presses his hand to his mouth.

There's a brief pause before Jongin asked, hesitation evident even over the phone, "... Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo's breath caught. He forgot about caller ID.

"If that's you Kyungsoo, I–I miss–"

Kyungsoo hung up before Jongin could finish. It was too soon, too late, too much for him to handle. He put the phone away and changed for bed. It was too long of a night.

(He only noticed that his caller ID was off the morning after. All Jongin saw was a hidden number, but he answered it anyway. It was blind hope that let him guess right, that Kyungsoo was on the other side of the line.

Hope and something else. Something that would drive Jongin back to Kyungsoo again and again.)











Baekhyun's words are still ringing in Kyungsoo's mind when he stumbles back to Jongin. He can tell Jongin is about to say something, but he cuts him off without thinking.

"I like someone." Probably not the best way to start off a confession, but Kyungsoo goes with it anyway.

"Oh." Kyungsoo feels his stomach fall when Jongin's face falls.

"Yeah. He's one of my best friends."

"Uh huh," Jongin mumbles with a disheartened nod. Kyungsoo watches him, waiting for Jongin to make eye contact. It doesn't happen, so he continues cautiously.

"We, uh, did everything together. Watched movies, cooked – he really liked my food."

"I like your food," Jongin mutters under his breath, and Kyungsoo can't help but smile. Just a little longer.

"His favorite movie was The Avengers, but he'd watch Inception with me anyway, over and over," Kyungsoo says with a sigh, and Jongin glances up at him, and there's a bit of hope in them now. He thinks he recognizes this person.

"We even planned to move in together," Kyungsoo murmurs, and Jongin's staring at him now.

"What happened next?" Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo smiles softly, almost sadly at remembering.

"He left for school, and I stayed for the same reason."

"Oh."

"Yeah. But I… I missed him. A lot. So much that I–I couldn't…stand to hear his voice over the phone because I missed hearing it in person." Kyungsoo's voice wavers, but he refuses to stop now. Not until the story's done.

"He's sorry," Jongin whispers, taking a step forward.

But Kyungsoo continues. "And then he shows up, looking exactly as he did before, with that stupid grin of his and popcorn." Jongin chuckles, breath brushing over Kyungsoo's cheeks. They're close now, close enough for comfort.

"And I still like him, maybe even love him," Kyungsoo finishes quietly, daring to meet Jongin's eyes now. "And I just found out that he liked me, too."

"Likes you," Jongin corrects, leaning down to grab Kyungsoo's hands, eyes locked. "Present tense, here and now."

Kyungsoo smiles shyly. "Really?" he asks, unable to keep the hope out of his voice.

"Well, if it's who I think – and hope – it is… then yeah, I like you. A lot," Jongin says with a soft laugh. "I planned this for a month, you know."

"The spilled popcorn, too?" Kyungsoo teases, and Jongin grins. In a daring move, he steps forward and grabs Kyungsoo's hands, lacing their fingers together. Kyungsoo looks down in surprise, mouth forming an 'o' shape, until they finally curve up and smile. Jongin's hands are warm.

"Maybe," he answers wryly. Kyungsoo chuckles, shaking his head as he looks back up at Jongin with bright eyes.

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to speak when Yifan's loud voice booms over the speakers. "One minute until New Years!"

The crowd starts cheering down, and Kyungsoo smiles, remembering the party hats in his hand now. He puts one on Jongin, and then lets Jongin place the other one on Kyungsoo.

"– 48, 47, 46, 45 –"

"Are you going to stay?" Kyungsoo whispers, and Jongin's smile falters.

"I have to go back to finish this year…"

" – 34, 33, 32, 31 –"

"But I'll be back by this summer. For good," Jongin murmurs, leaning forward so their cheeks are touching. The finality in Jongin's voice rings through Kyungsoo as a promise.

"– 26, 25, 24, 23 –"

"We can get that apartment together finally. Maybe a dog, too."

"– 17, 16, 15, 14 –"

"Anything is fine."

"– 11, 10, 9, 8 –"

"So long as we're together."

"– 7, 6, 5, 4 –"

"Promise?"

"– 3, 2, 1, 0!"

Jongin leans in and presses his lips to Kyungsoo's softly, a warm and innocent first kiss surrounded by cheers and screams of, "Happy new year!"

Kyungsoo can hear his friends laughing in the background, voices slurred with alchohol and happiness. He smiles into the kiss, and feels Jongin smile back.

They pull back, and Jongin presses their foreheads together. "Promise," he whispers, and Kyungsoo smiles.

Happy new year, indeed.