Je t'aime
Goodbye
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Anne's P.O.V
Hello, everyone.
The next story I'll tell you is about my first true love. It happened last year, when I was first year in university. I suffered but now I always smile when I think back. No, I didn't form a family with him, neither I'm still with him.
Back then, it was beautiful, the kind of pure and innocent love. We had each other and it was enough. People say that strong feelings result from long relationship — I completely disagree. A couple can have in a few months a stronger love than one in three years. It doesn't matter how long the relationship is, it matters how many feelings are in put in it.
I remember how we used to play in rain, we didn't even care about anything else, even though the problems and troubles were coming in our way. We were finding hope in a sunrise, and if life hit us, we were hitting harder. Fights and reconciliations were lame stuff, because we were madly loving each other, stepping on our prides. When I was sick, his passionate love was hugging, when I was cold, his warm voice was my shelter.
Yeah, we were both young and maybe inexperienced but we had fun. Now, let's go and and start my love story.
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September 9, 2011.
The rain poured heavily that day, the drops hitting the window roughly. I took a few glances around my room — quiet. Maybe too quiet. I hated rainy days... why? I don't know, it gave me an uneasy and uncomfortable feeling. I really don't understand how can someone like days like this.. the sadness was in the air.. well, at least for me.
It was a Sunday morning. Yes, it was the end of the summer and it was raining. the weather and the hot guy who said it will be sunny. Without thinking too much, I got dressed and walked out of my apartment, ready to go for shopping, thinking that it would make me feel better.
I jumped in my car and drove towards the mall, hoping some cute dresses and accessories, and maybe a smoothie will light this moody day. I parked in the underground parking lot and got in the big and sophisticated mall. It wasn't the first time I came here, damn, I'm a shopping and fashion victim, but still every time I came here, I had a feeling I can't describe. Maybe this mall was making me feel special..
Weird, isn't it? But it did.
I spent time walking around shops, buying different stuffs and just getting bored. I was sipping a smoothie when my eyes spotted an old friend, Charlotte. She was a friend of mine since middle school, now that I was already in my first year of university, we lost contact when the second year of high school started.
She observed me and waved, running towards me. “Anne, I'm so happy seeing you now, after all this time.” we shared a heartfelt hug. I nodded, “It's been years since we've last saw each other.”
Now, that I'm thinking about, how did I recognized her? She didn't change a lot, she is still the pretty girl from back then. Well, that's not question it bothered me. How did SHE recognized ME? I have to admit, when I was in middle school, I wasn't the really popular girl. Nerd — the best word to describe me back then. The trick glasses, jeans and my hair always in a low tail were the must for me.
However, when I started high school I became a fashion and make-up addict. You can say what you want, but personally I think a woman can seek the help of some make-up when she's not confident in herself. I wasn't..
Before I could ask the question that was bothering me, it seems like she already answered, “Your blue eyes. They haven't changed at all.”
She checked me from head to toes, “You're one hot girl, Anne. High school changed you?” I let out a laugh, “Only the package, Charlotte. The essence is still the same.” — and it was true. Even though my appearance changed dramatically, I was still the same person. I guess make up is just the icing on the cake, it doesn't make you or your personality.
“Shopping?” I asked as we both sat on one of the benches the mall had inside. She showed me her bags and nodded, “Yeah, I think about going in a vacation somewhere far. The problems got me, I guess.”
Charlotte's parents were divorced and always fighting. Being the only child, it was very hard for her. I pitied her, at least I live far away from the parents, who are in the same situation as hers.. I guessed the phrase ‘I understand her’ really fit.
“Where are you planning on going?” I asked, looking around the mall. She shrugged, “To a country where, for at least one month, I can forget everything. Somewhere where nobody knows me.”
It was a comfortable silence between us, before she abruptly turned at me, “Want to come?” I nearly choked on my strawberry smoothie, “Charlotte.. I..” I was lost for words. One part of me wanted to go, I was getting bored of Paris, I wanted to try something new, but still, I didn't want to bother her.
“Come on, Anne. We need to catch up. We haven't talked for what, like three years?” she pouted and I chuckled. Just like we were back in middle school — she could always make me agree with her. I thought a little .. one month and something won't be long and I needed something refreshing in my life.
I let out a sigh — I lost again. Charlotte didn't even wait for me to say I'm going and just clapped her hands, she already knew I couldn't say no. “I will book the tickets, the destinations is a surprise.” she winked and sat up, “Do you still have the same number?”
I raised one eyebrow and I could say she mentally slapped herself, “Sorry, I forgot you change your number every year.” she handed me her phone and I punched in the number. I called myself and handed her the phone, before saving her number into mine's. “I'll call you, Anne.”
I nodded and we hugged before she walked away, turning to wave at me. I waved back with a smile on my face. I realized that friends are God's way of saying sorry for your family. Yeah, that must be.
Getting bored, I walked back home, it was already 7 p.m. when I arrived. My dog greeted me as I went in the apartment. At that moment, my dog, Ethos, was my family and my friend.
A few days passed by when Charlotte called me. She said we should met and we did, at a café in my neighborhood. Unlike the last time we met, that day was sunny and warm.
“Here.” she handed me the ticket and my eyes widened, “Seoul, South Korea? Why would you wanna go there?” I was quite shocked, I never heard her talking about that country. She shrugged and sipped her black coffee — her favorite, “I don't know. I told you I wanna go in a place where I wanna feel tranquil. And I heard Korea is a beautiful and calm country.”
I nodded after a few seconds. Yeah, I knew. My 12 years old cousin, Abigail, was obsessed with Korean pop music. She knew all the bands. I chuckled to myself — she said that when she gets older, she will marry a Korean star.
“What's so funny?” Charlotte asked, seeing the small smile on my face. I shook my head, “Nothing. So when are we leaving?”
“Tonight.” she answered nonchalantly. I gasped, “Tonight?! But Charlotte, I didn't have my clothes packed.”
She glanced at her phone's clock, “Well, you still have four hours. Our plane departs at exactly 6 p.m. and we will arrive in Incheon at 5:40 a.m.” Lucky me, I was good with geography and economics back in high school, and I knew Incheon was home of the main airports of South Korea and helped led the economic development of Korea.
I gulped the last sip of my short coffee and sat up, grabbing my plane ticket and phone from the table, “I have to go and pack. We'll meet at the airport at 5:15 p.m, okay?” I asked Charlotte and she nodded, “Well, I'll go and sleep a little, I already packed. See you there, Anne.”
I gave her a warm smile and rushed out, quickly going at my apartment. It didn't took me long to pack and at the hour we settled, I was already there. I spotted Charlotte coming towards me with her luggage. She came beside me and took a seat on the dark blue chair, “You made it. Back in time, you were never a punctual girl.”
“People change, Charlotte.” I winked at her.
In plane, we talked about the good times and laughed when one of us told something funny which happened in the past. Now, we were both grown-up women and if when we were in middle school, we would often cry about stupid things, now it was all about laughter. Our feet touched the solid ground of South Korea in the morning, ten minutes later than Charlotte said we would arrive.
We took our luggage and walked out, taking a taxi. I was fluent in Korean.. why? because of my little cousin. She would always put me to translate the English subtitles from the Korean shows. I guess in life, things you thought would be unuseful, will help you sometime in life. I told the driver the address and the ride was quite long, since there is a distance between Seoul and Incheon.
He brought us to a five-star hotel, Intercontinental COEX Hotel, located in the World Trade Center, 350 meters from COEX Complex. It was beautiful, Charlotte thought well and said we should get two separate room. I agreed with her.
I remember that day we did nothing extraordinary. Both of us were tired from the flight and sleep until very late. When I woke up, at 5 pm, she sent me a message, saying we should meet in the lobby. I changed and we both walked around Gangnam, laughing and enjoying some time together.
As we were walking amazed like little kids looking at candies, she stopped and said she always wanted to eat Sando, the oldest confectionery snacks in Korea. I agreed with her, and while she waited for me outside, on a bench, I walked inside a market and directly went to the snacks' section. However, I was a bit clumsy — nothing new, and I bumped into a guy. He had a cap and sunglasses. You barely could make out his face.
He bowed at me without looking and walked away. “Rude..” I muttered under my breath and went to pay for the pack of snacks. There was a line at the cashier and I sighed. In front of me, the ‘masked’ guy. I ignored him and patiently waited. He suddenly turned around and looked at me. Well, that time I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or not because of the shades.
I realized after he said sorry for bumping into me in a rough English. I smiled and answered in Korean, “Don't worry, it's okay.”
“Oh, you talk Korean..” he gasped and I nodded. “Well then, I'm sorry for earlier.” I shook my head, “No need.”
His next question took me by surprise, “What's your name?” I pointed at myself, “My name?” I made a flipping motion with my hand, “My name is irrelevant.” He mouthed an ‘oh’ and turned around. I sighed — I was being rude. I tapped his shoulder and he looked at me. “Anne, nice to meet you.”
“Jiho.” he took out his hand with a smile and I gladly shook it, returning the smile. That smile of him sent shivers down my spine, and his touch was like electricity. I guess I blushed because I pulled my hand from his grasp.
It was his time and he paid for the things he bought, waiting for me. We both walked out, “So, you live here?” I shook my head, “In a vacation with my friend. We wanted to relax.” he nodded and opened a chocolate bar he just bought, taking a bit, “You're from U.S.A?”
“No, France.” I answered, looking around. He suddenly stopped and I turned to look at him, “Is there something wrong?” He looked at me and started walking again. With a grin, he answered, “So you're a French girl. I heard they are very passionate and fiery.”
I laughed at his statement, “Guess you can say that.” I looked at the bench where Charlotte was standing before and she wasn't there anymore. I searched around for her. “Are you looking for your friend?”
I nodded, “Yeah, she was sitting here.” He followed by searching moves and suddenly grabbed my hand, “How about I help you search for her?” I gave him a sign of approbation and we started walking, hand in hand, looking for Charlotte.
That's how our story started. Since then, I felt a very strong feeling for him, and he was feeling the same. After a few days, I found out he was an idol, leader of a group called Block B. Abigail was obsessed with them, especially with P.O, who was the youngest. We spent memorable time together and before we knew it, the one month and two weeks ended and I had to go back home.
“I'll miss you, love.” he hugged me close to him at the airport. He was dressed in a manner he wouldn't grab people attention. Charlotte smiled, “You are so cute together. Anne you need to teach me your ways of getting such a kind man to be your boyfriend.”
Jiho laughed at her. They got along well for the very first time they met, when we found Charlotte in a magazine, looking at handmade bracelets, that first night. I playfully glared at her, “I can't Charlotte. My secrets.”
We all three started laughing and talked a little more, before our plane was announced. “I'll come and visit you, Anne, I promise.” we kissed and hugged for the nth time. Tears tolled down my face and he gently wiped away. Jiho turned at Charlotte, “Take care of her when I'm not there, okay?”
“I promise, Zico.” she answered, using his stage name. She replied in a broken Korean since she learnt a few words. She liked using his stage name more because as she said, ‘only loved ones are allowed to use his real name’.
A couple of months have passed and it was already Christmas. I remember in November, I had a fight with Jiho over the phone because he said he can't come in Paris on holiday. I was upset because he promised me. Anyway, the night of Christmas, when everyone was with their families, I was with Charlotte and some other friends at her place. I was startled when my phone rang, showing Jiho's name and number.
I calmly answered, walking away from the chatty and loud group. “Why don't you come and fetch me?” My eyes widened, he came. He was right in Paris. I hang up and ran out the door, grabbing my keys in process.
That night I also found out Charlotte already knew Jiho was coming but kept it as a surprise. The two weeks passed quickly and he had to leave back in Korea. In early 2012, he had a controversy involving his name and group, called by media the ‘Thailand Incident’. He started acting rude towards me and would always get angry. We had a lot of fights over the phone that time.
I guess that even if some people tell distance doesn't affect love, it does. At the end of March, we ended our relationship, because it was the best that way. We both agreed to it. It was hard but we had to do it. He needed to concentrate on his career while my studies were slowly becoming more and more important.
Now, when I'm writing this, it's already December 2012. I guess I moved on easily than I expected, now I have a new boyfriend and I'm happy.
Our memories flashed in my mind once again a few days ago, after I saw Abigail watching a show where Block B appeared. I was quite shocked to see he still wears the brown handmade bracelet we bought when I went to Korea, as couple accessory. I was even more surprised when Abigail told me he released a song called ‘I'll do better next time’, dedicated to his ex-lover whom he still didn't forget.
Curiosity took over me and I listened to the song together with Abigail. Tears were forming in eyes, everything he said.. it was like a heartbreaking song, our heartbreaking song. However, I in all the pain and smiled.
After all, it was a nice love story between us.
Without drugs because love was enough for us, without too many questions because we had kisses as answers, without alcohol because we were already drunk from so much love, we were only doing simple things that were filling our hearts with happiness and joy.
Now, I'm looking out the window as the show falls on the hard ground and smile. Because they're still beautiful memories in which I find myself, because I know what's pure and beautiful lasts a little and I regret nothing.
I still have love and respect for you, Jiho.
Je t'aime.
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I suggest you guys should listen to ZICO's I'll do better next time. It's a great song ! ♥
- LoveInColors
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