(Kinda short. Written a year ago and since it's almost Christmas again, decided to post it here. Set in 2011.)

Carol singers are uncommon in Korea, at least at midnight on thursdays in quiet residential areas of Seoul. Meaning that the person currently garbling through what is meant to be Jingle Bells is someone Seunghyun knows.

He is aware of who it is before he even opens the door but despite that the sight of Jiyong wearing a santa hat and clutching a bottle of whiskey with a red ribbon round the neck is surprising. He hasn't had a late-night call like this in months - not since that day in October when the hit the proverbial fan and Jiyong became more closed-off than a dead end. Seunghyun can't pretend that the silence alarmed him; he was and still is worried that Hyun-Suk will ship Jiyong off on 'holiday' to Europe again, although this time he hopes like hell for Jiyong's sake that its somewhere more pleasant than London. The airport there has scarred him for life and he's in no hurry to go back - a sentiment they all feel.

Seunghyun lets Jiyong in, more to stop him annoying his privacy-loving neighbors than because he actually wants a drunken Jiyong in his house. He's not mentally prepared for the inevitable maudlin crying that will follow, or the attempts to undress him or kiss him or get them into bed. He doesn't want any of that because it is all tied up with the word 'drama' too ing closely, a reminder of the mess they'd once had.

Jiyong is blissfully unaware of the turmoil floundering through Seunghyun's mind and parks himself on the couch in a bundle of skinny limbs, the prized whiskey clutched between hands red with cold. He offers it to Seunghyun with a lop-sided grin that is the result of too many shots, not actual happiness. Seunghyun doesn't even respond, just sits down next to him with a barely suppressed sigh.

"Don't I get something for the carols?" Jiyong asks in a remarkably steady voice.

Seunghyun snorts, mouth quirking despite himself. "You're lucky I even let you in." In truth, Seunghyun could no more leave Jiyong outside in his state than he could ignore an abandoned kitten, but Jiyong does not need to know.

"I'll sing you another, if you like. A special one, just for you." Jiyong scoots closer until he's curled against Seunghyun's side and his chin is a sharp boney jab on his shoulder. Another festive songs starts, annoying and slurred, but in the husky, low voice Jiyong reserves for the bedroom and maybe the couch if no one else is home. Seunghyun's reaction is automatic and unwanted - desire, twinned with delicious memories of happier times in Jiyong's bed, floods his head and makes his mouth dry and his soul ache. A hand slides onto his wrist and traces meaningless patterns as the words continue to flow straight to-

"Jiyong why are you here?"

It's enough to jerk Jiyong out of his singing. His gaze is blurry and uncomprehending until his alcohol-ridden mind catches up. "Why not?" is Jiyong's reply, said with the crystalline certainty of the truly drunk. Seunghyun doesn't really have anything to say so the awkward silence descends, broken only by the sound of his own pulse thundering in his ears.

"It's our anniversary," Jiyong murmurs some time later, breath warm against Seunghyun's neck. The weight of his body is annoyingly comforting, like a bad habit. Seunghyun's mental calendar kicks in and he realizes Jiyong is right - well, give or take a couple of days - and that its been a year since their middle-school dreams had come true. In his heart of hearts their album is still Seunghyun's proudest moment, and not even their disaster of a relationship can change that.

So he nods, not knowing how else to respond. He wishes they could rewind twelve months and start over but knows deep down that it would have ended in the exact same way, with angry words and slammed doors and only luck had kept the china intact. True, at least they were on speaking terms and Seunghyun would even go as far as to say they were still friends, but of the regular kind, not the ones with benefits. He doesn't know if he wants them to go back to that - he doesn't know what he wants - but at stupid o'clock in the morning with a drunk ex-whatever on his couch, on his lap, comfort sounds far too appealing.

Jiyong appears to pick up on this and looks up at him with glassy eyes and a far-away smile. All the reasons why they would work crowd Seunghyun's mind and its all he can do not to lean down and mess things up even more. He feels like a child, wanting a toy he can't have, except he's the one who said he couldn't have it and it would be so easy to give in and take what he craves with his whole being. The expectant silence stretches out until the spell is broken and Jiyong turns away again, settling further against Seunghyun with a disappointed sigh, fingers idly tracing the bottle on his knee.

They stay that way until Jiyong mutters something about taxis and home. Seunghyun glances at the clock above the TV and realizes its gone 1. Jiyong struggles to sit up, looking dishevelled and tired and - if Seunghyun is not mistaken - miserable. Its enough to kick Seunghyun's brain into action.

"Stay here." The quizzical look makes him stutter more. "I mean...it's late, and taxis...." How awkward could it be? "Just....stay?" It comes out like a request. Needy.

It isn't until he's in bed - how can a double feel so small? - that the full force of what he's done hits him. Too late to take it back now though. He's so tired and the consequences of letting Jiyong in can wait until the morning.