Chapter 8
KangMin - Manly Man
I spent the rest of the time between sleeping and thinking about what he had said before he had fallen asleep. I knew he loved me. I knew that, and yet, all I could do was to be there for him. To try and make him happy. Happier than he had ever been. I couldn’t… I couldn’t love him. And it made me sad that I couldn’t do anything about that.
“Aren’t you happy?” he said when we were finally in Old Montreal and separated from my parents.
“Huh?” was all I could reply.
“You seemed sad, in the car.”
“Weren’t you sleeping?”
“So you were sad?”
“What are you saying?”
“If you’re sad because of me, then don’t be. Being in love is wonderful, even when you know the person you love can’t love you back. Just being by that person’s side makes a life happier.”
“How did you…”
“I may not speak to people, but I can listen to their heart. Most of the time, people aren’t very difficult to read. Especially you.”
“How do you read people’s heart?” I asked, not caring about what he had said at the end.
“I usually look into their eyes. When I can’t, like earlier, if I’m touching them, I feel their heartbeat. It tells me a lot more than you can think it does. When it’s slow and regular, it means they’re serein. When it’s too quick, they’re nervous. But it isn’t just like that. Maybe you could call that instinct, I can feel the difference between a lot of emotions. And then I guess what they were thinking about at that time.”
“I don’t think it really is possible to do such a thing, honestly. It sounds more like a superpower than just a natural ability, and I don’t believe in superpowers.”
“Don’t believe it, then, but tell me why you’re still sad over that.”
“That?”
He sighed softly and grabbed my arm, his long lashes covering his eyes. “That.”
I looked away. “Oh. That.”
“Yeah, that.”
“Well, I… I just don’t know what to tell you… I mean, you always say that you love me… and you know I’m straight…”
“Yeah. So what?”
“Well, it must be tough…”
“You always say that I’m strong. I’m strong for that too. Having you as my best friend is good enough for me.”
I bit my lower lip. “Still… can’t I do something about it?”
“You could. But you probably won’t accept it.”
“What is it?”
“Could you act as my boyfriend for a day? Just a day. Just today, while we’re here, together, far from school…”
He had started stuttering a bit in the end. When I looked at him, I saw his face had taken a bright red color. He looked away. “There, I said it. I probably almost died from being too nervous, but I said it. So…”
“I’ll do it.”
“Ehhh???”
“You said I could do that. I’ll do it. I’ll act as your boyfriend for today. But, erm… I can’t kiss you, okay?”
“That’s okay. I didn’t plan on making you kiss me anyway. It’s just a dream that will never be fulfilled.”
“I can kiss you on the cheek. But just that, okay?”
“It’s even better than I thought,” he chuckled. “If you’re really willing to do this, then, thanks. It means a lot.”
“Idiot.”
“What?”
“I said, idiot! Don’t be so happy over an act…”
“Why not? I’ll be able to remember this day, after that. So even if you can never love me, I’ll still treasure those memories. Say…”
“Yeah?”
He squeezed my arm a little tighter. “Could you… pull me closer?”
I smiled and freed my arm to slide it on his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I kissed his forehead delicately, blushing in the process. It was so weird… “Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
We actually ended up getting lost in Old Montreal and managed to go to Chinatown without even knowing how we did that. I was extremely happy that Montreal was a very open city. Relations between men were not frowned upon and I even caught a few people whispering that we looked absolutely cute together. I took a look at Sungmin, who just smiled at me happily. I patted his head. Well, he was cute indeed. I wasn’t, and I didn’t mind.
“Sungmin, look over there. They sell meat buns. Want to try one?”
“Really? That would be cool, but I don’t have enough money to spend it on trying new stuff…”
“Well, I’m your boyfriend for today, am I not? I’ll pay for you.”
“Eeeh?? You’d do that?”
“Of course. C’mon, let’s go.”
I got him a meat bun and watched as he was happily eating it while we were sitting at a nearby patio. He had a bit of meat on the side of his mouth and I reached out a finger to wipe it. “Eat correctly, kid.”
He blushed. “Sorry…”
“It’s okay, just be careful. Is the meat bun good?”
“Of course! Want to try it?”
“I’m not sure I’m hungry enough to buy one…”
“Try mine then!”
I looked at him for a second before remembering I was his boyfriend for a day. Oh well, that would be weird, but… I took a small bite of the meat bun he was offering me. He was right, it was pretty good. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s good.”
“Isn’t it?”
He looked so happy. I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Well then, what should we try next? I’ll pay for you.”
“Well, I, um…”
“You can say it. If it’s too expensive, it’ll just be a no and we can try something else to compensate for it.”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to have a bunny hat for the winter…”
I smiled. “Finish your meat bun then. We’ll go get that right after.”
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