Opportunity

Slave Heart

 

MIN HYO'S P.V.

 

"Okay lets see what contest to enter today"

I go to my Favorite Website (www.meetidols.com-----LOGIN: OU MIN HYO...enter) I have been doing these contest for so long. It didn't matter what Idol group I met, i just needed a chance to get to Korea!)

SCREEN-> Welcome: Ou Min Hyo

You have a chance to enter and win a contest to meet SHINee for 6 months!

CHOSE
Skip
Continue

In total excitement i click the "Continue" button. This is a chance of a life time!

SCREEN-> You have chosen to continue with this challenge. Here are the rules:

1) You have 1 MONTH to learn SHINee's Lucifer dance. The best and most unique entry will win.

2) You are not allowed to hire any help at all to assist you.

3) You cannot change the choreography.

4) You can only learn 1 members part

5)Everyday you must enter 23 seconds of what you have learned (in order) onto this website.

6) When you are finished learning the dance you will have a week to practice the dance to perfection.

7) The last week you must record the whole dance at full speed and in costume onto this site.

IN A MONTH you will be notified of your result. HWAIITTTIINNNGGGG!!!!

 

OOOHHH MMYYY GOOOSSSSHHHH this is so perfect! I am so doing this! OKAY OKAY FIRST 23 SEC. GO!

 

AUTHORS P.V.

Minhyo begins the challenge...everyday working hard. But she doesn't get any support from her family and friends

Minhyo's Mom: "What are you doing? Every time i see you, you are throwing your body around to this nonsense music!"

Minhyo:" I am competing in a contest. Who ever dance is the best gets to meet the artist of this song for 6 months."

Minhyo's Mom: "HA! Do you think you will win?! They don't accept BLACK people! why cant you just get that through your head!"

Minhyo pretends that she doesn't hear and continues with her dancing. She doesn't understand why people are like that. So narrow minded and biased. She didn't care if they didn't like her, she liked them, and it wasn't going to stop her.

 

 

 

 

 

This is my VERY FIRST STORY!!!! Please give me good feedback!!! MOST OF THIS IS FICTION!!!

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whateveritis #1
Chapter 19: did you did that pic?
killthemall #2
Chapter 19: this is pretty good and i'm touch!
SweetMya #3
I'm in with this story it's so good. i hope you finish it. update soon PLEASE!
Rini6189 #4
The interaction between Taemin and Minhyo is cute. A man dressed up as a clown and practically screaming his head off as he chased after them is a hilarious scenario to witness. Minhyo's got a point about Taemin not understanding her situation since he had never fallen in love before. The pain that both Minho and Minhyo are experiencing is really depressing. It looks like they are really in need of emotional/moral support from the people around them. If only there's something that the rest of the SHINee members could do to help. Jonghyun's the only one oblivious to the reality of the situation--being happy-go-lucky without a care in the world. First, they'd have to reveal the truth to him. Minho does look like he's torn fron the inside-out here. Since Minho had been cold towards Minhyo since the beginning, it's hard for her to get over that and truly accept him with her heart. So, this is the price he pays for mistreating her. Still, her love for him won't go away. It did prevent her from letting him kill himself by heavily drinking. Hopefully, things would work out between the two of them with time. This is really depressing to read. It does hurt to see them suffering so much.
Rini6189 #5
Please don't take this the wrong way. I don't mean to bash your writing this way. It's just constructive criticism given to improve the quality of your writing. I don't have a problem with your writing style. Some of the mistakes did throw me off track. <br />
<br />
Ch. 18 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. Instead I put some meat in Minho's plate.<br />
Correction: Instead, I put some meat on Minho's plate.<br />
<br />
2. It's awkward to see the phrase "messagine my cheeks." The correct verb to use is "massaging." <br />
<br />
3. I looked at him distress.<br />
* The perposition "with" is missing" before "distress."<br />
<br />
4. Taemin skipped to the song TRICK by Girls Generation on the CD player and turned to me expectedly.<br />
Correction: expectantly<br />
<br />
5. Loosing my patients I got off her bed and pulled her out of the bathroom<br />
Correction: Losing my patience<br />
<br />
6. The pain and jealousy were thrashing in my veins each trying to take the dominate role<br />
Correction: dominant<br />
<br />
7. Taking a deep breathe I broke into a sprint.<br />
Correction: Taking a deep breath, I broke into a sprint.<br />
* "Breathe" is a verb.
Rini6189 #6
It has been a while since I last read this. Though, I haven't forgotten about the essence of this story.<br />
<br />
It's a matter of time till Jonghyun finds out the real truth behind Minho's recent behavior. He seems to be diagnosed with the condition of being lovesick. Hopefully, Minho and Minhyo would try to work things out together. It is the groups' concern when at least one of their fellow teammates isn't feeling well. They need all the support that they can get. Later, they would have a bigger problem to face: having Minho's secret revealed to the public. I wonder how their management company would handle this. It could be passed off as a rumor. There are people who stir things up through gossip to catch the interest of others.<br />
<br />
Chapter 17 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. His whole body tensed and you looked back at Onew with nervous eyes. <br />
* It seems like the attention is drawn towards the readers where the "you" is inserted. That should've been "he" instead since Key was referring to Minho.<br />
<br />
2. Then Onew stared at me with an un-readable expression....<br />
* Generally, a hyphen is not needed between the prefix and the actual word.<br />
<br />
3. "The only way I can do that is staying as far away from you as possible."<br />
* The preposition "by" should be added before "staying."<br />
Rini6189 #7
Since Lee's out of the picture, she no longer has to deal with him and his hurtful words. I'm aware that Taemin still feels bitter towards Minho for mistreating her. Taemin truly loves and cares for Minhyo that he'd do anything just for her to be happy. The feelings that he has for Minhyo are making him overwhelmed. It seems like a curse because of the way he's suffering from it. Getting drunk doesn't help the situation at all. The problem will only go away when the person confronts it and does something about it. That's when the weight will be lifted off the shoulders. Onew's the only one who knows the truth about Minho not really being himself...up till now. It looks like Key might be able to get some answers from him. Since he's so deep in sleep, it's unlikely that he'd be waken up from his nightmare. I hope it'd be a happy ending for all of them. <br />
<br />
The words in yellow aren't easy to see, especially on a bright monitor. It does put pressure on the eyes to have to squint in order to read it. It's best not to use colors that are look very too bright.
faithimnida #8
YAY UPDATES!!!!!!! even though this chapter was sad :( <br />
<br />
Taemin really cares about her!! It's really sweet! Both Minho and Taemin worry about Minhyo! Buuuuuttt<br />
<br />
GIVE US A HAPPY CHAPTER !! LOL much love!
your_coffee_bean #9
Update!Update!Update! I'm sooooo in love with this story. I hope you update soon :).
Rini6189 #10
Jonghyun seems to be the only one having the least involvement from what I remember reading in Chapters 1-12. It's good that we finally get to see things from his perspective. Another plus is that you've gained three new subscribers. ^^ Good for you! <br />
<br />
It's a relief that the vision that left us hanging in the previous chapter isn't real. Poor Minho is worried sick now...almost like he's awaiting for the apocalypse to occur. Onew's fitting into his position well as their leader. He seems like the kind of person that any of his teammates--Minho, in this case--can turn to whenever there's a problem that some well-thought advice is needed to help cope with the situation/circumstances. That shows his care for the well-bing of his fellow teammates. It looks like Taemin hasn't forgiven Minho after the way he treated Minhyo. So, it could take a lot for him to be convinced. The lie that Minho came up with won't last long once they (minus Onew) get to the bottom of it and figure out his actual problem. I wonder what Minhyo would tell them about Taemin.
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