It has been a long time since I last saw you, talked to you and teased you. Yes, I still think about teasing you all the time, even in the army. I miss the fun we always used to have, playing around, making stuff up. I miss all those samll things a lot. I also miss your mom's food, god as soon as I come out I'm going to come over uninvited for dinner and eat your whole kitchen down. I just miss so many things so much! The work in the army is really tough but you gotta do what you gotta do. Before you come down here and scream at me, I miss you too.

I miss you a lot. Maybe I miss you more than you ever did or will.

 

I'm a good actor right? I really did hide a lot behind that big toothy smile of mine all the time. You were fooled too weren't you? Ah, no worries, I wouldn't want to come behind you everytime, you have your own life to live as well, I'm just a small part in it. How's everything with Kikwang going? I hope he's treating you well, if not, I'm going to rip him apart and burn his pieces. No, just kidding, I would do something.....weird.

 

I have so many memories so vivid and vibrant in my mind that it feels like you're just here with me, right next to me. It always feels the same way.

But you never felt the same, you probably never will also. I don't blame you. I just never told you soon enough. I'm sorry I told you so late and if it scared you I'm sorry I told it to you now, after so long. I couldn't hold it anymore, to be honest I'm scared I might not make it back home someday. I'm scared that I'll never ever get to see you again. I was scared before that you might never love me and my fears came true. I'm scared now that I'd never make it home, never meet you again, never make fun of you again.

 

I just want to get this burden off my chest. I don't know how long I'll live or how I'll survive over here in the midst of all this ongoing war. I just wanted to say that I love you, I've loved you before and I'll love you for ever more. It doesn't matter if you don't love me back, its fine. I would have liked it, my dreams would have come true but maybe its destiny, maybe its never meant to be. Maybe it has to end this way? Maybe my life will end, I'm not sure but my love for you never can and never will. Just wanted to say this much to you. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself okay? Don't eat too much ice cream you'll catch a cold. Don't ever try making kimchi-chigae again, someone might die. Sleep on time, listen to your mom and find someone good okay?

 

Love you forever,

Dongwoon

---

 

 

Eunji was cleaning up the attic and was surrounded by storms of dust. Things so old, memories so distant, all came rushing in as she pondered over a box that lay in front of her. She had never seen it before, it was filled with old crumply, wrinkly, yellowing papers and envelopes.

Old letters! From the looks of it, many had not yet been opened also. She wondered what was hidden in them, it had been so long since she last came to her old house again. She missed the trees around it, the smell of the grass and the open fields. She missed all the friends she had when she was young. The war had changed everything, many died never to be heard of or seen again. One of them was her best friend, Dongwoon.

 

 

 

It was not fair, he always helped those around him, maybe that's why he met with such a fate, he cared too much, about everyone except himself. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair. But these were things of the past, things that they were taught from childhood to forget instead of remember. People and their weird customs, how can you forget the past when it has made you what you are today. She never wanted to forget anything that happened, her life had changed a lot since but she thought about Dongwoon quite a few times. She wanted to say goodbye, at least once. She wanted to tell him to hold on, whatever came his way he'll be able to do it.

 

She saw an old unopened envelope for her. A letter for me? She thought.

From Dongwoon, it said. She had never seen the letter before nor had she known about it. She quickly settled down with the settling dust in the light from the dusty blackened window. She opened it and read it.

 

 

 

Never did she anticipate such a thing to ever happen. Her feelings rose up in the form of a crescendo, piling up against her and asking her why hadn't she seen it before. Why hadn't she realized earlier? Dongwoon must have thought about her even when he was dying, he would have wanted to live again, to tell her before itself, he would have wanted his dream to come true. She started to cry, not knowing what else to do. She shed the tears she should have shed long ago, she realized a fact she should have known long ago.

 

Now she was left in the dust with her tears and her thoughts. She was left alone in the old room thinking about him, about how wrong and ungrateful she had been. She sat alone that day, taking a trip down memory lane, thinking that if for once she had tried to see, what feelings were hidden underneath, her life would have been different. He wouldn't have died longing for something he would never have. He would have died deserving all the happiness he deserved, deserving all the love he needed.

 

---

 

 

Urmm...very weird and I don't know how it went. Just felt like writing since most of the important exams are over. During exams it was just ideas bursting around and flitting by like free electrons and now its just emptiness in my mind, can't even think properly.

BIG THANK YOU to Vasudha who helped me.

Please read and Thanks for reading :)

PS- Tell me how I can improve, criticism is always allowed.