Letting You Go.

The sky was spotted with clouds of various shapes and sizes, all of them hovering aimlessly over a small park in a quiet neighborhood. A young woman slowly made her way towards this familiar park with her nostalgic feelings in tow.  The park was relatively small, with a small playground and several benches surrounding it. It was a very tranquil sight. A cool breeze blew across the desolate park just as the young woman decided to venture through the playground rather than walking around it, just for old time’s sake.

She made her way across the playground leisurely taking in all the recognizable features in great detail.  She glanced at a worn green bench off to the far side of the playground under a tall pine tree. To others, it may simply be a tattered old bench in dire need of a paint job, but to her it was a place where she spent a considerable amount of time laughing, joking around, and spending quality time with him. It is…or was a very symbolic part of this park, for her anyways. This was where they would always go after dates to chat, or just because they wanted to see each other even if it was for just a small amount of time. It was her favorite bench, their favorite bench.

That bench will always hold a very special place in her memories, but she continues her journey walking through the playground letting the sand sculpt its way around her feet leaving a distinguishable trail of footprints as temporary evidence of her nostalgic journey. Her calm face slowly starts to distort itself. She quickly covered her face and took a deep breath.

“I can do this. I, Kim Taeyeon can do this…” She tried to hold back her tears. Everything was just so painful, but she knows deep down that this is something she will have to face eventually. She remembers the day she first met him. How his amazing laugh intrigued her, and how brilliant his smile was. At the time she never realized that he would become such a vital part of her life, everything was simpler then. As they grew up together their lives have become intertwined. So closely intertwined to the point where they couldn’t picture how their lives would have been if they haven’t met each other, but as they got older they began to grow into different people with very different interests. The common ground that they stood on for the longest time had began to vanish slowly.

Her feet led her across the vast field of green grass to a little antiquated bridge atop a dried up creek. The bridge itself no longer serves its purpose, but the thought of having it torn down could possibly devastate her. She gradually began to walk on the bridge, allowing her hand to feel the coarse wood. All these memories came flooding back to her. Their long phone calls, dates, and even their first kiss. Tears trickled down her cheeks. Everything she loved about him came flooding back.  At first when their differences started to surface she was in denial, insisting that it is the differences make them individuals and that is was vital for a healthy relationship.

In the end she came to realized that no matter how hard she tried her relationship was dying. The man she fell in love with was on longer there, and she was no longer the type of girl he was looking for. Throughout the years they began to grow and evolve into the people they were going to be for the rest of their lives. Their thoughts, ideals, and even their perspective on life, changed. It was inevitable really, but it doesn’t mean that it hurt any less. Because deep down she knew she still loved him and letting go is hard, but if she didn’t it would just be more painful for him and her in the end.

Taeyeon steadied herself and looked up at the patchy sky. The sun was starting to break through the thinking layers of gray clouds. This separation, in her own way was a last gesture of affection. She loved him dearly, and this is why it is better for him to be free.  Her first love will never be forgotten, and she is grateful for those wonderful years they spent together. This isn’t the end, but a new beginning for both of them. She just wished it ended better.

“Be happy. For you and for me, Junsu.”