You have no idea how terrified I am as I try to post this.

I must warn you though: this is my first fic. So there are bound to be mistakes and imperfections somewhere, somehow. But I hope I won’t be disappointing you lovely subscribers and random readers too much. Oh, and constructive criticisms are very much welcome. I’m new and still learning. Please (gently) take care of me...

Hmm... This chapter contains flashbacks. I don’t really know where I’m going with this but I hope you enjoy it.

Now, are you ready to read my debut fic? Let’s go go go! *running around throwing confetti*

~0~

One month ago...

“Hyung... Have you ever thought of...being able to see again?”

Junsu’s smile faded slightly at the unexpected question. He hesitated for a second before answering the younger man. His empty gaze met Changmin’s concerned one.

“Of course I have. What kind of question is that?” He laughed, but it sounded half-hearted even to his ears. He was taken aback by the whole sudden seriousness in Changmin’s voice. “But I think I’ll be fine with the way things are now. And besides, who would want to give up their vision? That’s stupid...isn’t it?”

A few seconds ago they were bickering about god-knows-what, there’s always something about each other that they had to complaint about: Changmin’s never-ending need to eat every one hour, Junsu’s obnoxious(according to Changmin) laugh, Changmin’s current favourite ‘Let’s imitate Junsu-hyung’s funny way of talking’, and the list goes on. But now, all traces of the light, playful atmosphere that they both created were gone by that one question.

Changmin bit his lower lip, looking away, even though he knew Junsu wouldn’t be able to see his troubled expression. After a long moment, he turned to look at Junsu again, who was now staring blankly ahead. The younger man opened his mouth to speak.

“Keureonde (But), hyung... they would if they’re terminally ill. I mean, you know before they...die, these patients can sign an agreement of some sort saying that they would willingly donate their organs to those who are in desperate need of them.”

Junsu snorted lightly. “I’m not desperate.”

“But-“

“I’m fine, Changmin.”

“But-“

“Shim Changmin!” Junsu interrupted again, slight anger wrapping his tone now. Glancing at the boy beside him, he continued to stare unblinkingly at the spot ahead which he believed was Changmin’s face, red with irritation. He hated to be mad at anyone even more if they were important to him so he gathered himself together and said the two words as serene as he could be. “Keumanhae. (Stop it.)”

Changmin didn’t realise he was on his feet now.

“But Hyung! Don’t you get it? You deserve it, Hyung!! Don’t you want to live normally??”

 He stared at Junsu’s indifferent countenance long and hard, not comprehending why Junsu would not want to gain his sight again. Especially when there’s someone who was willing to give their ‘eyes’ to him. This was the topic the two boys often tried to avoid talking about as much as possible. But Changmin knew they would need to talk this out one way or another.

Junsu heard the wooden bench creaked, a sure sign that the taller boy had return to sit next to him again. Silence enveloping the two men once again for a long moment, and then Changmin shifted in his seat before clearing his throat to speak.

 “U-uh... Hyung, mianhae (I’m sorry)... I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

Junsu shook his head lightly. Changmin knew Junsu wasn’t at all mad at him for raising his voice but he couldn’t help but feel guilty, he wanted to help him but Junsu’s refusal just frustrated him.

There was a pause, but it was punctuated by a heavy sigh from the older man. Changmin quietly watched Junsu as he slowly shut his eyes and opened them again, those uniquely shaped eyes showed nothing but emptiness.

“I don’t know, Changmin. I don’t want to think about it too much. I don’t want to hold on to such possibilities. What if things won’t work out the way we want them to?” Junsu dropped his head to the bricked walkway, rubbing his left arm as he spoke. “If one day I come to realise that...this is how I have to live for the rest of my life, if it is destined that I’ll be blind for as long as I live...it’s okay, I can take it. As long as... you’re here. You’re the only family that I have now. You know, ever since that accident. My parents and my- ”

Junsu’s sentence was cut off at the feeling of the slightly calloused hand wrapping his own. “I know, hyung. I know...”

Indeed, Changmin knew all too well about the accident; the accident that had taken away the lives of a pair of middle-aged parents and a young girl. He knew, because he was there. He witnessed the accident with his own two eyes. And he couldn’t stop the guilt that still haunt him until this day; he felt that he should’ve helped that family, although he knew too well that it was futile to do anything. So all he could do was just watched as three lifeless bodies were being dragged in stretchers and into the ambulances.

Changmin wasn’t aware of the tears he had been holding back until they assaulted his cheeks. He watched until the three ambulances flew past him, sirens blaring painfully loud in his ears. As the noise faded, the sound of someone weeping caught his attention.  On another stretcher there was a young man who was whimpering in pain, his hands covering his eyes, muttering non-stop between his sobs the words that sounded like Eomma... Appa... Jimin-ah... Andwae...

Him... Where have I seen him before?

“Chamshimanyo (Wait)... Can I come along?” he didn’t even register that he had approached the ambulance. The two paramedics looked at each other then at him.

“Who are you?” one of them asked.

“I’m...” What am I doing? “I’m his friend.”

The man looked at him warily but later nodded his head. “Very well, you can come with us. He really needs someone right now.”

It was the day Changmin met Junsu.

It was the day he met Junsu, who had lost the vision of his eyes, his life and even more, his family.

And Changmin knew all too well not to let Junsu reminisce about his past, especially that particular part of his past. Because then Junsu would start crying and nothing could be helped then.

“I know what you’re trying to do. I won’t cry...at least not as hard as before.” A small smile adorned the older man’s features and the hold on his hand grew tighter.

Changmin always thought Junsu looked best when he smiled, the smile that showed the upper row of his ultra-white teeth, that smile that was always so sincere, so utterly beautiful. But the smile he gave this time only showed hints of pains from the past. He felt a strange ache in his chest, so strange he couldn’t quite place what it was.

Junsu will gain his happiness again.

Changmin just knew it and would make sure of it.

Silence filled the atmosphere of the now almost visitor-free park. It was suffocating but neither man tried anything to break the stillness.

Junsu turned his head in Changmin’s direction when he heard him sigh and mutter something like two more weeks.

“What was that? What two more weeks?”

Junsu’s question broke his reverie. Changmin’s eyes rolled back and forth from the right to left a few times, a habit when he was trying to find an excuse to get out of a situation. Such as this. But he inwardly felt relieved that Junsu couldn’t see the change in his expression. He learned that Junsu was a good reader, he knew something was up by listening to the change in one’s voice, imagine if he could see his terrified face now. He gulped, and tried to get out the words from his mouth carefully and as convincing as he could muster.

“Nothing. I said I have to go back in 2 weeks.”

Changmin thought he saw a touch of sadness in Junsu’s eyes but immediately reasoned that maybe he was only imagining it. Changmin would return to Seoul soon. Junsu wasn’t amused by the idea at all. A fast punch landed on Changmin’s left biceps and the man whined in pain.

“Ah! Hyung igeo mwoya~(What is this~)” he whinged as he rubbed his arm.

 “You little punk! Are you that eager to leave me? You’re so mean, Changmin-ah...”

Junsu waited for one of Changmin’s infamous blunt counters but much to his surprise all he got was silence.

“What? No witty comebacks?”

“...”

Junsu laughed lightly. “Aigoo... You’re so weird nowadays, Changmin... Neo wae Keurae (What’s wrong with you)? Something bothering you?”

Oh, no. The rolling eyes habit made their return as Changmin tried to reason himself.

“The only thing that’s bothering me is your annoying loud eu kyang kyang.”

Junsu merely snorted and ruffled the younger one’s soft black hair. “My laugh is music, Voldemin. Face it.”

Changmin stared in disbelief at Junsu’s self-flattery comment but at least he managed to save himself again.

Good one, Shim Changmin, good one. But...

“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??”

Junsu’s head fell back slightly as he laughed his usual loud laughter. The tints of light had returned to his eyes. Changmin would’ve appreciated the view but he was too overwhelmed by anger to notice.

“I called you ‘Voldemin’, Voldemin. Want me to spell it for you?”

Teeth clenching, Changmin stood up, preparing to leave. “Hyung is so bad. I don’t wanna be hyung’s friend anymore. I’m leaving.”

“Omo na... Yah! Kajima (Don’t go), Yah! Wait for me!” Junsu scrambled to get up and was on his feet instantly and moved his white cane about the floor in front of him, listening intently as he tried to follow the sounds of Changmin’s tracks but it was to no avail. He could faintly hear Changmin’s evil snicker whenever he stopped and sighed in frustration.

Changmin’s footsteps melted away as he walked further and eventually gone. Junsu began to panic. Is this brat leaving me for real now?

“Yah, Shim Changmin! Neo eoddisseo (Where are you)?”

The taller man was actually standing by a huge tree just right beside the bench they had been sitting on. He was actually walking in circles and ended up stopping near said tree. He wanted to see Junsu’s panicked face when he thought that he was really leaving him. His back was rested on the bark of the big tree, crossing his arms across his broad chest, snickering quietly as he watched Junsu frowning deeply and waving his free hand frantically to find his ‘hiding place’. It was almost...cute.

“I’m right here, Junsu-yah...”

Junsu turned sharply in that voice’s direction.

“Yah! Keumanhae (Stop it!) Didn’t you know it’s horrid to make fun of one’s weakness? C’mere you! I’m gonna knock some manners into your big swollen head with my walking cane!”

There was that amused snigger again. “Hyung, I’m so scared. My legs are longer than that ‘walking cane’ of yours. You can’t even reach my shoulders even with that.”

Junsu bit his lower lip in annoyance, hands balled into tight fists. “This person is really!! Keumanharanikka! (I said to stop it!)”

Nothing annoyed Junsu more than listening to that heartily laugh at this moment. Junsu heard Changmin’s familiar footsteps approaching him. He stayed motionless on the ground where he stood as he listened to the familiar thumps as Changmin walked closer and closer. But what happened next startled him.

Changmin tucked his cane off from his hand and pulled him gently into his arms, resting his head on his shoulder.  “Did you actually think that I would leave you? Even though I might be gone one day but you have to know that I’ll always be with you, hyung. I’ll watch over you no matter what happens.”

Now, that really didn’t sound like the Shim Changmin that he knew. “Changmin-ah?”

“Hm?”

“Cut off the mushy crap.”

Changmin merely laughed at the remark. Junsu put his hands on Changmin’s chest and pushed, struggling to get out of the strong arms that held him tighter but he stopped when Changmin said, “I’m gonna miss you, hyung.”

Junsu frowned. There was no hint of the usual playfulness in Changmin’s voice and it... kind of scared him.

“Yah... What are you saying?”

“Exactly what I said.”

MinSu quote:

"He's the reason I lost my cute image." - Changmin

"When I fight with Yoochun, it’s because I’m looking for trouble. When I fight with Changmin, it’s because he’s looking for trouble." - Junsu