"How are you feeling today, Choi Junhong?" the familiar nurse comes in my room and ask me as she placed the medicine tray on my nightstand.

"Like I’m dying? Which is... technically true" I faked a chuckle and the nurse facial change. I know that expression lingered on her face, it’s the same expression I've seen for the previous years. Pity.

"Life and death, let's leave it in the hand of God shall we? Who knows there will be a miracle for you?" she smile and pat my hairless head. At time like this, I really missed my peroxide blonde or bleach pink or even my original dark brown hair. Those times where I can style my hair and have hyung it with his slender fingers. He used to love my hair the most, especially when I ramyeon-curled them.

"If you said it 8 years ago, maybe I will believe in miracle, or God" I throw my sight outside the opened window, the sun is starting to rise, shining every dark corner in this world. For once, I beamed sincerely and the nurse saw me,

"You smiled. A penny of your thought?" I think I like this nurse, I wonder why I never talk to her before, I mean, she’s been attending me ever since I’m admitted in this hospital two years ago. Maybe it’s just today I noticed her, since all this while I constantly occupied with my own thoughts.

She's very beautiful, probably in the middle of her 20’s, friendly and bringing a light air with her, even though she's currently loading out dozens of those hateful pills that I’ve consumed for the last 8 years.

"The sunshine. Pretty isn't it?" I tried to create a conversation with her and she gladly reply,

"What makes you think like that Junhong-sshi?"

"The light seems different today, don't you think?" I asked the nurse, she's not wearing her nametag so I don't know what her name is. But maybe I'll ask her later, there's no wrong in adding another name to my 'in memory' list, right?

The nurse glance outside before turning back to look at me. There's confusion in her eyes.

"Really? I think it look like any other day"

"Maybe because you'll see it again tomorrow but I'm not. so it feels different to me"

I stare at the nurse right into her brown orbs, she seems to be shocked with my answer and loses her words. The sudden silence wrapped us feels so deafening. I laugh slowly.

"I... uhmm" she scratched the back of her hand awkwardly, somehow managed to catch a glimpse at her wristwatch and gasp dramatically

"owh! look at the time. I need to check on other patient. Here's your pill Junhong-sshi" she placed the dreadful pills into my palm and holds a glass of water, wanting to help to me to swallow the pills one by one.

"Can I not eat them today? Not that it will change anything" I shoved back the pills to the nurse, refusing to eat them today. There's no point anyway. The time was already fixed.

"Junhong-sshi..."

"What time is it nurse?" I blurt out of the blue, she's hesitant at first but answer me eventually

"it’s 10:30 a.m. now. Why?"

"6 hours to go" I muttered slowly. I guess the nurse understand what I’m trying to imply on, as she steps closer to me, putting the glass down and grasp my right hand with both of hers.

"This" she points at the pills on my left palm,

"maybe won't change anything Junhong-sshi, but it may give what we all hoped for... time"

There's truth behind her words. Right now, I didn't need any miracle. All I need is time.

"Nurse, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"What's your name?" I brave myself to question her,

"Im Yoona. Why?"

"Nothing. I just wanna say thank you, Nurse Yoona"

"You're welcomed, Junhong-sshi"

"Zelo"

"Sorry?"

"Call me Zelo. That's what everyone closed to me call me"

"Then you're welcome, Zelo"

 

 

　

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Later she makes sure of me consuming my last loads of medicine, she walks out, only after enveloping me into a comforting hugs and whispering me sweet nothings.

I officially like her.

One of the reasons why I hate the pills, they always, without fail making me feels sleepy. I don't want to sleep. I want to see every hour passed, I want to see birds fly passed my window. I want to see hyung.

However, the need is stronger than my already weak body and so I sleep. With uncertainty if I would ever wake up.

 

 

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What feels like years later, I opened my closed eyelids and meet a view of hyung sitting next to my hospital bed, holding my hands and seemed to be torn between holding onto my hand tighter so I couldn't just float away and loosening his grip so he wouldn't break me.

I can't bear to leave this man.

"Hyung?" I called him slowly, voice croaked due to my previous slumber

"Baby? You've wake up? How are you feeling" He stands up and caresses my forehead before leaving a light kiss.

I will miss that.

" ?" I retort playfully, feeling the burden in my stomach lifted out as I heard the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard in my life. His laugh.

"You'll feel better" He sat back and continues clasping my hand. I don't know if this is only my feeling, but I do sense his hand... trembling.

"I'm now. What time is it hyung?"

He removes his eyes off me and went to his watch. I smile. I know that piece. I bought it for him three years ago, for our sixth anniversary.

His face darkened but he quickly brushed it off and smile towards me

"Its 4 p.m. now baby" he said it as if it was nothing but we both know, it's almost here.

"I'm sorry" I stare at his hand, grateful to have it holding me through all agonizing moment.

"What for baby?"

"For all those year you have wasted on me. For all those hopes I gave you, even we both know, none of them will become a reality. You won't have to go through all this pain, if it’s not me from the very beginning. I'm sorry"

Warm liquids escaped my eyes and trailing down my cheek. I've been holding them for years now, and today is the day for me to let them go.

It’s been 7 years since the last time I cried. I still remember the news I heard a year earlier. The news that almost snatch the happiness away from hyung and me.

I vividly recall how hyung vent out his anger, his sadness and his agony in the doctor office. How he cursed and forced the doctor to do a re-test on me. How he, devastatingly dropped on the floor, after the doctor told him that they had do everything they needed. Surprisingly, I took the news very calmly, sitting on the seat with composure while hyung being physical about it.

I AM sad. Terrified with the fact that I will leave this man alone. Afraid with the changes he'll see when this disease slowly eats me. We have been very happy for the two years we've been together. We started out with a forbidden love. hyung was my teacher and I'm his student. He's 25 and I'm only 15. He's a grown up man, and I'm a boy with raging hormones.

We didn't only threatened by the law, we also faced the disapproving society.

So we keep our love in the dark, didn't want to put any chance at risk.

The day I graduated from higshcool was the best the day of my life. I'm finally legal and most importantly, no longer hyung's student. We celebrated that day with cartons soju and canned beer, letting us intoxicated by the liquor and s the self-control. That night, I had my first and it was the best, absolutely perfect. The delight, the sparks we felt in our every single cell was beyond imagining. We're wrapped in our own blanket of love and happiness.

Then two years later, we got this huge hit slapped to our face.

We can't afford to accept this shock.

It took several months of denial from hyung before he finally accepts the fact that I'm cancerous with no hope to recover.

I never cried because I want to show him I was strong. I want to walk the next days with him with smile, and happiness. I want to give him wonderful memories to replace that horrible truth of me. I want to make the last days of my life as the happiest days of his.

I always told him, he don't have to stay with me till the end, that he still able to create a new life with someone new. That he could find another relationship, with a happy ending as the closure. But he stayed. After all those tormenting torture, it stills me at the end.

And now, here we are, holding hands, savoring each other presence for the last time.

"Why are you crying baby?" He wiped off my tears and kissed the tears away, and continue,

"There is not a second I wasted during all these time and I have all my hope comes true. And this pain... is nothing compared to the bliss you gave me. You have cherished my life Zelo, and for that..." he paused, letting go my hands and slipped his right hand into his pants pocket to fish out a small black box

"You're not..."

"Yes baby, I love you so much to let you go, so please"

"You can’t," I’m sobbing like a child right now. Hyung couldn't mean it right? He can't. He shouldn't do this.

"Say yes Zelo" I look at the door and saw Nurse Yoona walking in with a male, a Father.

"Choi Junhong, I know things have spiraled out of proportions since the news invades our life, but that what makes our love stronger day by day. You showed me what I thought didn't exist, and making me craved for things I never knew I wanted. You gave me your love that worth more than anything I could ask for and right now, doubt is another luxury we cannot afford anymore. So Choi Junhong, will you marry me?"

　

I’ll regret this…

　

"Yes Bang Yongguk. I will"

　

 

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My eyes felt really heavy, as I struggle more not to closed it. I'm not ready. I want to see hyung's face. My husband. My 60-second husband.

"It’s okay Zelo, you can let go now"

"But I haven't... This... You" I almost burst into tears again, I feel so weak. I can't even finish my sentence. Hyung smile softly and fold my hand in his, giving me the last strength,

"Remember what you told me before? Your life is complete when I’m happy right? I'm happy now Zelo. Look" Hyung display his left hand to my face, and taking my left arm, placing it next to his.

"You have made me the happiest man alive when you said 'I do' 60 seconds ago. I know you're sleepy. Close your eyes baby, you're complete now"

I look at Hyung face for the last time, his eyes are red and he's holding his tears but he tried so hard to keep his smile. He wanted to look as best as he can when he's sending me off.

I scanned his features to carve every curve of the pained but blissful face in the back of my mind as Bang Yongguk, the man I love, the man who make the last 60 seconds in my life perfect.

"I love you Bang Yongguk"

"And I will always love you, Bang Junhong"

　

I take back what I said minutes before. I'm not regretting my decision saying yes to this man. How can I regret the best deal in my life?

I die, not as a Choi Junhong but as Bang Junhong by law. A proud husband to a great man named Bang Yongguk.

"Wait for me there, my Jello" Hyung closed the distance between us and tenderly attached his lips on mine. Pure Heaven.

With the last kiss we shared, I slowly surrender to the exhaustion, closing my eyes with a beam of happiness as I heard a faint chain of chants of 'I love you's' and the deafening beeping sounds starting to get slower and slower then... stopped.

 

　

Patient name : Choi Bang Junhong

Time of Death : 4:51 p.m.

　

　

　

 

 

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Yay! my veryyyyyyyyyy first oneshot is complete!

a celebration for my 100th subscribers!!!!

Funny thing is, i always want it to be Jongkey fic, but in the end it was Bangzelo.

So,,, how was it???? Is it sad????

am sorry if its boring...

please comment please????