Darkness is all I could see now.

I don’t know where I am now. I feel nothing.  I could hear some mumblings but I couldn’t catch the meaning. I tried to strain my ear but still failed. I know I am lying down as I could feel my body is touching something soft which I assume it is bed.  I tried my best to move my fingers but I can’t, every part of my body seem to be so heavy to me. Where I am? I still remember I was going out date with junhyung. Where is he now? Fears starts creeping into my heart, for not being hear and see, making it worse. I prayed I wanted everything to end. I want to go back where I and junhyung were still hugging each other tightly.

I think god answer me.

“One-quarter of his face is damage due to the glass cutting his skin too deep. I am sorry but it will leave scars.”

What scars?

“Thanks you doctor.” That the voice I had been longing for so long, I suddenly feel his touch on my hairs.

“Hyunseung ah, please wake up…you have been sleeping so long.” Junhyung, don’t cry. I am totally awake. Why nobody sees I am awake?

I tried again, this time I made sure I do move my finger.

“Hyung! Hyung! I think he is awake. Call doctor! His…his finger…is…moving…” thanks yoseob.

I don’t know how long had gone but I could feel warmth around me.

I slowly opened my eyes and I think I saw some familiar faces.

I wanted to smile but I couldn’t move my mouth at all. I feel that my face was been wrapped tightly by bandage.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

I nodded as I couldn’t talk. I turned around, hopping that I could find junhyung.

He just right beside me but he don’t look happy at all. Doesn’t he happy that I am awake? Why does he have this worried expression on his face? I don’t get it at all.

“Okay, everyone I think it is the time we had to go. Don’t forget we still have schedule tomorrow.” Being always on his leader mood, Doojoon starting to chase members to get their feet up but why junhyung also have to go. I don’t want him to leave me. I grabbed his hand tightly, not willing to let go.

“Seungie, be a good boy. I will come over immediately after I end my schedule. I love you.”

Hearing the door was being opened, I immediately snapped open my eyes, thinking that it is Junhyung.

“Good Morning, Mr Jang. How do you feel today?”

My heart fell once knowing that the person was just my doctor.

I nodded my head, showing that I am okay and I started pointing my face.

“Oh ya, you are able to take off the bandage by today. You have few deep scars forming at your side of the forehead. I had tried my best to not leaving scars but your wound is too deep.”

Scars…I don’t know how to describe my feelings. It just doesn’t feel right. Does that mean I am going to be ugly? I am not going to be the prettiest in the group…

The nurses slowly remove my bandage. I am scared, scared of looking once my pretty face. They hand me one of the mirrors, my eyes just went wide when I saw my face.

My fingers traced down my scars carefully. They are ugly. I want to get rid of them.

Would…Junhyung still want me? This is what I scared the most.

I don’t want to be alone in the room, I just ran out to the park. Staring at the flowers, I feel jealous. How could they be prettier than me?

Without I knowing, tears starts forming at my eyes. I don’t want to blink as I know the tears would immediately flow down once I blink. I am not weak.  Everyone was staring at me. Why? Is it because of the scars? I try to cover them with my hairs but people seem can’t keep their curiosity.

“Mummy, that oppa is ugly…with the scars…he look like one of the cartoon monster.”

That it, I ran away. I don’t want people look at me. I don’t want to be ugly. Why is this happening to me? Why the world is being unfair to me? Why is the driver had to be drunk? Why I am the one who being knocked down? Why?

Junhyung ah, where are you? Where are you when I need you the most? I practically sobbing out loud, I know I will grab some unwanted attention but I just can’t control anymore. I hid behind some bushes, waiting for the time to go.

I know it is already night time and my hand phone had been ringing for the past 3 hours.

25 missed calls and 25 messages from Junhyung. I still not ready to see him. What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he can’t accept me anymore? Thinking that there must be some chances for him to leave me caused my heart shattered. I hate my face so much, why don’t just let me die instead. Without able staying with Junhyung was as same as dying.

“Yah! What are you doing there?”  I quickly buried my head into my knee once I heard his voice.

His steps are coming nearer and nearer and I am able to feel he was shaking at me.

“Look at me.” he said sternly which I quite scared of.

I shook my head violently, I can’t. Now not only my ugly scar, I still have my swollen puffy eyes and red nose. That definitely made up a monster.

“I know what you are thinking. Look at me.” his voice suddenly become soft making me melt again.

He suddenly cupped his hand on my cheek and gently titled it up. I avoided the eye contact with him. I thought he would go to talk again but I guess I was wrong. He pulled me closer towards him and kissed on my scars gently.

He hugged me tighter and whispered,

“I had lost you once, I not going to lose you again because of your stupid thinking. No matter how you look, you still will be my forever prettiest angel in this world. Never think that you can get away from me because you are mine. Forever…”

With that, I cried again. But this time round, I cried out of happiness.