Poke. "Just do it."
Poke. "It's not like he's going to--"
Poke. "I didn't even fini--"
Jonghyun sighs, stopping with his poking and leaning back on the bed again. "You have your chance, as clear as daylight," He begins, eyes slightly narrowed with annoyance. "And you're just letting it slide."
I stay silent as he continues. "You don't hang out with Kai anymore, he isn't with Yuri and basically, there's no more ing. The plan, that thing we did, it's finished. We've done it, Minho's in love with you and yet, yet--" He sighs heavily. "You want to drag it out longer? What's there to wait for? You should tell him you love him before something steps in and things get worse."
"I know, okay." I mutter quietly, avoiding eye-contact with him. I knew his advice was correct, but something was holding me back. "It's just.. it's not that easy and--"
I've known Jonghyun for a long time now. I know what he's like when he's silly, when he's sad or upset, when he's plain happy or even quite pissed off. I know him so well I can expect his reactions for whatever we do, his thoughts and stupidity. But I didn't expect him to suddenly stand up, yank all of the blankets on him off and stare at me with raging eyes.
I swallow thickly, moving back a little.
"'It's not that easy?' Really, Taemin? Really?"
"I--It's nothing to get angry with.." I mumble, trying not to get jumbled up with my words at the sight of him being so angry.
"You tell me that and you expect me to not get angry?" A bitter laugh comes out. "Taemin, we've done this stupid plan. We all thought it would be a good idea, even with the ty bumps and twists-- it somehow worked, okay? And Minho's in love with you, he's ing broken up with his girlfriend for you, and you're saying that it's not that easy? Not that easy to what? Confess?"
I feel my throat drying up and I mentally slap myself because I know i'm about to cry. I'm not upset over the fact that he's correct, but at how he's yelling at me with that enraged voice.
"Well you know what?" He spits. "Maybe you should stop being so selfish. You have a chance."
"You don't," I pause, inhaling because I didn't want to break down and start crying uncontrollably. "D-don't know what it's like, to, have a broken heart, o-okay?"
"I'm pretty sure i've had it worse than you."
My eyes immediately fly up and look at his wary one's. "You think it's easy for me, huh? You have a chance with Minho and all you have to do is make up and tell him how you feel. Every ing day, Key just wants nothing to do with me and it's because of some mistake I wish I had never done and we'll probably never be on good-terms because of me."
I hold my breath.
"And you," He continues, voice quiet. "You say it's not easy for you."
I close my eyes and I can hear his foosteps fading away.
After a lot of thinking and maybe a little bit of frustrated groaning and crying, I made my decision. Jonghyun was, surprisingly and quite creepily right. It was the first time I had seen him be so awfully mature and actually good with advice, but either way, I was going to do what he told me to and maybe get this whole mess over with.
I was going to confess.
Like Jonghyun said, it was pointless to keep dragging it out longer and longer, and why not confess while I still have the chance?
I also began to pity him. I always thought it was tough for me, but Jonghyun's always been having it worse, but unlike me, he didn't rant out his problems. I also realized that he had never talked to anybody about it. While we were always comforting and pitying Key, we never really thought about Jonghyun, how he felt to the whole thing and whatnot. It just made me feel like . Jonghyun was really a good guy, and I just wanted to bow down and say sorry to him a million times for being so selfish all the time.
Even though i'm prepared, my walk to Minho, just sitting alone by the beach is beginning to bring up my nerves. I know all I have to say is a simple three words and wait for the reply, but it's what makes it really overwhelming. Finally coming out of the dark, even though he probably knows, it's confirming it to him that makes it scary.
I sigh in relief. He didn't look like he was in a bad mood. With slow footsteps, I walk over and just stand besides him. I want to try to concentrate on the waves, maybe to calm me down, but just having him next to me like that is making my heart race, and making my hands quite clammy too. "Uhm," I clear my throat. "I have--have something to tell you.."
He stays silent.
This is it. I squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds, before taking a few deep breathes.
This is where it either begins or ends.
I place my warm hand on his shoulder and give it a light squeeze. "I--"
My hand is immediately slapped away.
I flinch, taking a few steps back when Minho's eyes meet mine, and I swallow thickly because no, he's not in a bad mood, but apparently in a really ty mood judging from the bags under his cold eyes. "What, Taemin?" He snaps, standing up and walking over towards me. I take a few steps back, heart beating, feeling hurt. "What else do you have to tell me? What else are you ing hiding from me now?"
"I-- what," I take in a shaky breath. "--are you talking about?"
He stays silent, and my heart shatters when I see tears pooling in his eyes. "All this time? You've ing done a plan on me? A plan? Seriously? You've kept it behind my back this entire time! You've made me lose so many things I could've been happy with and y-you just act like it's nothing!" He yells, voice shaking. "Well, it's not nothing okay!? It's not to me!"
"I never knew you were so selfish," He continues, eyes wary and hurt. "Because if I knew maybe I wouldn't of fallen in love with you then."
When he walks away, I make no move to stop him. Even with the 'love' he feels for me, there's bound to be indescribable hate in there.
Even with the tears in my ears and the pain i'm feeling, my only goal now is to find out whoever ing told him.
And only one name pops up into my head.
oo is going DOWN YO
/dodges the bullets and swords you throw at me
Omg yes I know I haven't updated in seven years, BUT I do have quite a few excuses to throw. 1) SCHOOL. 2) A SERIOUS ILLNESS CALLED PROCRASINATION. 3) SCHOOL. But yeah, I am quite sorry for being a douchebag and pushing this story away. Because now that things are finally interesting, I might have the strength to write faster again. I promise it wont be over two months again. ;_;
and if it does take over two months you can kill me then.
Does anyone even read this anymore or have you abandoned it like I expect you to? It's okay if you have, it is my fault for being le ty author. 3 I still love you guys though.