Abuse

Abuse

Abuse

That's not exactly what would happen to a person like me. At least that's what i thought.

​My marriage to my abuser/husband happen 3 years ago. His name is Hakuei. You may know him from the band Penicillin.

This marriage however was not my decision, it was my fathers. I was very much against it at first but decided to make my dad happy and stopped complaining about it.

The abuse started about 3 months into the marriage. At first he was actually a decent person, nice, kind, and never even touch me in an inappropriate way but like i said 3 months after that everything changed...

*Flashback*

I greeted him as i usually would, the usual "Welcome home" and a kiss to follow. At that time that was the only intimate thing we did.

I was cooking ramen when all of a sudden he came in and asked where had i been that day. I replied that i was at my friend Ruki's house. 

"Are you cheating on me?", said Hakuei.

I replied with a simple no and that's when he called me a liar.

*Flashback*

So to make the story short that argument ended with a strong slap and a bruise on my face.

The abuse didn't end.

I was 

beaten 

and

for 3 years.

Now i sit here in our bedroom thinking about all this crap i went through for 3 years, I wanted to tell someone but I was too scared to.

I have the gun to my head ready to end it all, he's not here, only me.

I want out of this life my father put me in.

I can hear the news now talking about my death.

I don't care.

I say my goodbyes to all the people i love.

I pull the trigger.

My soul now looking at the dead body which was me. It was not the Marie i used to know. It was the disgusting, old, used, Marie.

But now that didn't matter anymore

I was gone

I am free