That Early Saturday Morning
That Early Saturday Morning
This one shot is dedicated to my eonni because she loves hamstergyu almost as much as she loves me. Almost.
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On a slow pace, embracing the sun’s warmth and the beauty of its first rays reflecting upon the clear water of the pond, you wander through the blooming park.
The sweet scent of a brand new, fresh day breaking through the cracks of dawn and the fragrances of nature always lure you back to this place in the early morning. You wouldn’t exactly call yourself an early bird, but the past couple of days have had you out of bed and in the shower even before the mockingbird that visits you every morning on your balcony started its first melody of the day. So maybe there’s a more important reason for your presence than just nature’s call..
You watch a family ducks start their day with a swim across the pond, six fuzzy balls wiggling behind their mother, hopping into the water one by one, the last one clumsily tripping over a small branch, flapping its still non-existent wings in the process. It brings a smile to your face as the duckling reminds you of yourself, clumsy and clueless, while your sister is the definition of elegance and grace. And silently, you can’t help but wonder who would ever choose you, above the perfection of so many other girls.
Sighing, you scan your surroundings and your heart flutters when you find what you hope to be the answer to your question, casually sitting on the exact bench you have been sharing for the past couple of weeks. He came, you reassure yourself, he really came.
Not long after you spotted him, he looks up and meets his gaze with yours before smiling sweetly at you. That smile that reaches all the way to his eyes and causes them to disappear, the one that makes your heart skip a fair amount of beats.
You break eye contact and look away in attempt to hide the blush that’s spreading on your cheeks rapidly. With every step you take, your heart grows more anxious as you are suddenly reminded of the meaning behind his presence. Still avoiding his stare, you sit down beside him, an uncomfortable aura starting to surround you. You bite your lip. “Annyeong.”
From the corner of your eyes, you can see him reach for what seem to be two cups. He places one in your lap, his smile never leaving his handsome face. “Thought you would like some coffee in the early hour. Chocolate macchiato, right?”
You nod, wrapping both your hands around the warm cup whilst taking small sips. “Gomawo, Sunggyu.”
He leans back comfortably, sipping his own cup, -Cappuccino, you guess- and you both enjoy the hot drinks in silence, admiring the scenery before you. For a moment, your heart is in peace, pushing thoughts of the unavoidable conversation you’ll both have later on to the back of your mind.
Subtly, you peek a look at him. His light brown hair falls messily over his forehead, with underneath his small eyes under closed eyelids, but you can easily recall the colour of his orbs. A warm, mesmerizing shade of chocolate brown that is able to unleash dozens of butterflies in your stomach. You admire his cute, perfectly sculpted nose and the shape of his soft-pink, divine lips. His incredible sense of style and the comfortable aura he never fails to radiate. There is nothing about this boy that isn’t beautiful, nothing that isn’t perfect. You think this boy, no, this man is none other than God’s masterpiece. And you believe there can be no greater feeling in the world than his strong, safe embrace and the warmth of his chest against your cheek as he lovingly caresses your back or brushes his fingers through your hair. There was a lot you’d give up just to experience that feeling.
You’ve known Sunggyu for exactly 6 weeks now. Here, on the old, scattered, wooden bench you’re sitting on right now, that’s where you met him. April 21, 6:30 in the morning. He was out for an early walk with his dog, whilst you came here to settle your thoughts as sleep wouldn’t hit you after a horrible nightmare. Later you learned Sunggyu’s purpose was the same, only using his dog as an agreeable excuse. Ever since that Saturday, you two came here nearly every morning, chatting away about the important and the irrelevant things in life. He soon became a friend, and not long after, you realized you started developing feelings towards him. Feelings you never dared to verbalize, until last Saturday. Until the stash of feelings that you've been piling up over the weeks broke down like a house of cards, causing it to flood right out of your mouth, whether you liked it or not. You didn't, but regret came too late. You told Kim Sunggyu you love him. And now you're here, waiting for his answer.
“You do know you’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes, right?” he suddenly states, eyes seemingly closed, but then you’re reminded that with Sunggyu, you never know whether he’s asleep or watching you through the tiniest slit. You turn away quickly, facing the other side, wanting to smack your head against a tree for making such a fool out of yourself. His melodic chuckle fills the air as you hear him sit up. “That’s okay, it’s cute.”
Still in a state of humiliation, you don’t dare facing him, until you hear his voice again, signing the start of a dreadful moment you wish you could delay a few more moments. But no luck. “Do you remember what you told me last week?”
Closing your eyes, attempting to suppress the anxious feeling inside your heart, you inhale deeply to calm your nerves, before turning to him and giving a short nod. “Of course, it’s all I’ve been thinking about the past seven days.”
“Yeah”, he sighs, “me too.”
For the first time since your arrival, you dare looking him in the eyes. “Listen, Sunggyu, I don’t know what came over me when I told you, and I don’t expect anything from you, at all. Frankly, I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Don’t answer me. Not now. Meet me here next Saturday, usual time, and then I’ll hear your answer. That’s what you said, right? Well, that’s why I’m here.” Hearing your own words rolling off of his tongue nearly makes you cringe at how silly they sound. Only middle-schoolers talk nonsense like that.
"You could've not showed up today, I made no sense, you know it."
"Well, I have no reason not to be here. Besides, don't you want your answer?"
That caught you off guard. He was right. Every man with a bit of decency in his body would at least come give the girl an answer. And Sunggyu has decency. He's probably the most decent person you've met so far in this crazy world.
He suddenly inches closer to you, taking both your small hands into his large ones, placing them in your lap. You glance down at your entwined fingers, before staring back up at him, only to be greeted by his loving gaze, the exact one you fell so head over heels for a couple of weeks ago. "Look. I know how scary it is to express your feelings towards someone. Especially a girl towards a guy. And I admire you for that. I'm not-- great with words either but.. I'm really glad I met you. Your support and friendship means a lot to me. Even my friends keep telling me how I'm happier and brighter. You made me a better person. All these hours we spent together on this bench, it made me realise how lucky I am to have met a person like you."
At this point, you felt your heart grow heavy and sink to the pit of your stomach like a brick. Is he subtly trying to tell you he'd prefer being just friends? Because to you, that's what it's starting to sound like, and you mentally prepare yourself for the final blow that will tear your heart into tiny little pieces as if someone cut it up with scissors like an old, outworn piece of fabric.
"To be honest, I wasn't sure of my feelings towards you when you confessed to me. So I'm grateful you gave me time to think, even though it cost us both sleepless nights. But right now, seeing you here, I realised how much I missed seeing your face over the past week. And now I know, that I should do what my heart says, not my head."
You can barely choke out the sentence as you're trying to make sense out of his words that confuse you endlessly, and make your heart pound at the speed of light all the while. It's hard to focus, with those puzzling feelings all over the place and his orbs still boring into yours. "What.. what does your heart say?"
Your heart nearly stops as he tightens his grip on your trembling and sweating hands, leaning his face closer to yours until your foreheads gently connect. You had only been this close to Sunggyu once, when you decided to go on a daytrip to Hongdae, and ended up on a bus packed with tourists, squished like pickles in a jar. He had to wrap an arm around you to protect you from falling, as you were squeezed in between his chest and an old ahjumma carrying not less than six shopping bags. But this is different. His angelic face is so close to yours, the sunlight reflecting into his eyes, creating beautiful, glistering green specks melding with the rich brown and his cool breath prickling your dry lips. And you don't even realise you're holding your breath in anxiety, awaiting his reply.
Actions come before words though. Time seems to have stopped ticking, the second he presses his silky-soft lips against yours in a romantic kiss that would've knocked you off of your feet were you not sitting down right now. Surroundings, sounds, scents, everything disappears. It's only you and him, his lips against yours blending into friction that seems to shoot you off to space as your head grows light-headed, entering a sweet world of bliss, accessable only through his kisses. He pulls away too soon for your liking, leaving an empty, tingling feeling behind on your now reddened lips.
And just when you think skipping any more beats might be the end of you, he says those particular words you've been longing to hear. Those your ears and heart hope to enjoy for many moments to come.
"It tells me to love you."
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Annyeong!
Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think in a comment and if most of you like it, I might start posting more stuff!
Saranghamnida ~
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