Considering that U-KISS had come out with two full albums and three mini albums in the last year, the company decided they deserved a break and granted them some rare vacation time. Five whole days to spend however they wanted, wherever they wanted, under the condition that they remained under the radar. They were each given a budget, of course, so most of them didn't venture too far. Soohyun, Hoon, and AJ decided to drive out to the Korean countryside for some peace and quiet, while Kiseop and Dongho headed for the bustle of Tokyo.

 

Eli and Kevin were torn between vacation spots at first. Eli liked the idea of going back to Japan for a while and he wanted to spend some more time with Dongho, but AJ and Soohyun had begged Kevin to come with them. In the end they decided to take full advantage of the “wherever they wanted” perk by flying back to the States. The two of them had been saving up for a while, and therefore had extra funds to spend. The one mistake Eli made was letting Kevin plan the trip. He hadn't meant to, but it was hard to resist Kevin when he put on his best sad face, the same one he used to get the manager to let him out of rehearsals early. It was strong enough to break anyone's willpower.

 

That was why they were sitting on a plane to Las Vegas. “Remind me again why we're going to Vegas, of all places,” Eli said. He was a little suspicious of Kevin's motives, considering they could have visited their hometowns or something. And Vegas was notorious for shotgun weddings, which he really hoped wasn't Kevin's plan.

 

“Because, Eli, they have the prettiest hotels, and the shopping is great,” Kevin said dreamily, bouncing in excitement. “I heard there are tons of vendors that just sit on the sidewalk and sell things, and their mall is huge. I can get new clothes and jewelry and so many shoes!”

 

That made sense for Kevin, but not so much for Eli. “What am I supposed to do while you're shopping your way into poverty?”

 

“You can hold my bags.”

 

Eli had, in fact, held all the bags when they walked through the airport. “Is that all I'm good for?” he griped.

 

Kevin paused, furrowing his brows in mock concentration. “Of course not. You're also going to introduce a new species to their environment.”

 

“What do you mean, a new species?”

 

“Well, I don't think they have pigeons in the desert,” Kevin laughed. Eli was deeply affronted and ignored Kevin for the rest of the flight. But when Kevin fell asleep snuggled against his shoulder, Eli didn't push him off or complain. He just smiled and watched the in-flight movie.

 

—

 

Leave it to Kevin to pick one of the most expensive hotels on the Strip, just because it was shiny. But Eli couldn't really complain; their suite was really nice. There was a flat-screen TV in every room, even their bathroom. He noticed, to his delight, that there was also a wet bar and a massage room. He could have some fun with those.

 

He was glad to see Kevin had gotten two beds. Not that he hadn't shared a bed with Kevin before, but they'd always shared a room with at least one or two other band members. This time, they'd be completely alone. The skinship between him and Kevin, among other things, had been teetering on the edge of weird lately, and without the others around to keep their behavior in check, things could go too far.

 

“Eli, let's go do touristy things!”

 

Eli dropped the suitcases with a grunt (somehow, he'd ended up carrying all of them again). “Kevin-ah, we just got off the plane, and you already want to go running around?” He flopped onto one of the beds and tried to persuade Kevin with the same expression Kevin had once used on him. “Can't we sleep first?”

 

Eli's version had no effect on Kevin whatsoever. “You should've slept on the plane, Eli.” He jumped onto the bed and landed on Eli, eyes gleaming. “We don't have a lot of time to be here, so we have to do as much as we can now!”

 

Eli pushed Kevin off with a chuckle. There would be no arguing with him, Eli knew; Kevin was just too full of energy. Maybe it was better this way. Better to be out around other people than alone in the bedroom with Kevin.

 

Yes. Definitely a good idea. “Alright, let's go,” Eli agreed. “But you have to buy me lunch.”

 

—

 

Eli knew exactly how Kevin felt about him. He'd known for a long time. What he didn't know, or at least wasn't entirely sure about, was how he felt about Kevin. He liked Kevin, of course. He liked spending time with him, playing with him, and teasing him. He even liked holding his hand, hugging him, and sleeping next to him.

 

But he couldn't bring himself to admit having feelings for Kevin. Every time he thought about it, his stomach did some kind of weird twisting thing and he felt sick. Even though the others always said they acted like an old married couple, the thought of actually being a couple terrified him. He'd never looked at another guy that way before. Ever. And he didn't want to start now, but when he looked at Kevin, all the lines he'd ever drawn for himself became blurry. And that was a very bad thing, because if anything ever happened and anyone ever found out...

 

America wasn't overly fond of the idea of homouality, but Korea simply did not accept it at all. Some people pretended it didn't exist; some didn't even know it existed. If it got out that two members of a popular boy band were gay, it could ruin both their careers, not to mention ruin everything for the rest of U-KISS. They'd worked so hard to improve and get to where they were today. Eli couldn't risk all of that for what could just be a phase, a product of pent-up ual frustration. He refused to even consider it.

 

—

 

They spent that first day touring every single hotel/casino on the Strip. Every. Single. One. They started around ten o'clock in the morning and didn't finish until almost midnight. By the time they got back to their suite, they were both exhausted and every ounce of Kevin's bouncy energy had been sapped. Eli had to pick him up and carry him to bed.

 

“Can you undress yourself at least, Kevin-ah?” he asked as he gently pulled off Kevin's shoes.

 

“No need, Eli,” Kevin responded. “I'll just stay in this. Unless, of course, you want to undress me.” He said the last part mischievously, and Eli suspected that Kevin wasn't as exhausted as he was acting.

 

“I think you're just lazy,” Eli accused.

 

“I'm not lazy,” Kevin disagreed. “I really am tired.” He yawned to prove his point. “Sleep with me, okay, Eli?”

 

Eli shifted uncomfortably. Did Kevin realize how that question sounded? Eli thought about refusing, but Kevin was giving him puppy eyes, the same kind he used on the stylists when he wanted sparkly lip gloss instead of plain. In spite of his awkwardness, Eli couldn't help but lean over and kiss Kevin's cheek. “Okay, but keep your hands to yourself.”

 

Kevin hid his accomplished grin as Eli climbed into the bed. “If that's what you want.”

 

Truthfully, it wasn't what Eli wanted, but he stuck to his own side of the bed anyway.

 

—

 

Morning found the pair entangled in each other's arms. Eli's shirt had mysteriously vanished during the night, but he was half-asleep and didn't think to wonder why. Kevin took advantage of Eli's slow wakefulness to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good morning, Eli,” he cooed.

 

Eli stretched and rubbed his eyes. “Go away. It can't be morning yet. I'm too tired,” he grumbled. He his side and hid his head under the blankets. “Leave me alone and let me sleep.”

 

“But you're in my bed,” Kevin said. He ducked under the covers after Eli and started planting kisses all over his . “No no no, my pretty pigeon,” he said between smooches. “We're going to the mall today, so you have to get up.”

 

How was Eli supposed to get up with Kevin's lips on his skin? They were soft and warm and only made him feel more comfortable. He shivered slightly as Kevin's mouth traveled higher and higher, to his shoulders, to his neck.

 

“Of course, we can just stay here, if you really want to,” Kevin murmured in Eli's ear. He felt Kevin's mouth on his neck again, felt his tongue graze his skin.

 

It was a slight touch, but it sent a pleasurable shock down Eli's spine and woke him up in more ways than one. That was the trigger that got him up. He rolled away from Kevin and right off the bed, hitting the floor with an audible thunk. “Ow. Okay okay, I'm up already,” he said. That was too close. Way too close.

 

Kevin peered over the bed, looking a little disappointed. “Are you okay?”

 

Totally, and I'm definitely not or anything, why do you ask? Eli thought but didn't say. He nodded and pulled down a blanket. Wrapping it around himself, he stood up and cleared his throat. “Would you order breakfast, please?” he asked. And please don't ask why I need the blanket.

 

Kevin raised an eyebrow, but was nice enough not to comment. “Sure.”

 

“I'm gonna hop in the shower—” and it was going to be a very, very cold one “—and then we can eat and go to the mall,” Eli promised.

 

—

 

It was another long day for the pair. The mall had three floors and was a block long, so there were plenty of stores explore and an endless supply of bright, shiny new things to look at. Kevin's eyes kept lighting up, but Eli refused to let him buy anything.

 

“What's the point of coming to the mall if I can't buy anything?” Kevin whimpered.

 

“Let's ignore the fact we can barely afford our hotel. If I let you loose on this place, we'll be begging on the streets for dinner tonight,” Eli said, holding Kevin back as he caught sight of another store full of pretty things.

 

They perused shop after shop before finally calling it a night. They'd had ice cream while they were out, but not a full meal, so they decided to go cheap and order pizza. When he finished doing that, Eli sat on his bed and the TV, but Kevin grabbed the remote, switched the TV back off, and tossed the remote out of Eli's reach.

 

“Hey! What was that for?” Eli whined.

 

Kevin cocked his head to one side, and Eli swallowed. The look in Kevin's eyes was uncharacteristically intense, and kind of y.

 

“Eli, we have this huge room all to ourselves. We can do better than sit around and watch TV.”

 

Eli was interested to know what Kevin's idea of better was, so he gave in. “What do you want to do?”

 

Kevin smirked. “I want to dance.”

 

Eli rejected the idea. “No thanks.” Dancing together in a hotel room? That was cheesy. So much for intensity.

 

“Oh, come on. Dance with me,” Kevin wheedled.

 

“Dance by yourself,” Eli said. “I'll watch and laugh if you trip or something.” He scooted to the foot of his bed and swung his legs over the edge, waggling his eyebrows.

 

“That's not very nice, Eli,” Kevin pouted.

 

Eli leaned back onto his elbows. “Then you better not trip.”

 

Kevin sniffed and turned prissily on his heel. “I won't, then.” He sauntered over to the iPod dock and turned it on, searching through the track list for a song. He found one he liked and positioned himself so that Eli would get a clear view. Then the music started and Kevin was moving, dance flowing through him as naturally as breathing.

 

Eli knew Kevin was putting on a show, and he appreciated it. He loved watching Kevin dance (the boy moved his hips in ways that made Eli want to tackle him to the floor), but he didn't get to see it firsthand very often. Usually he was dancing next to Kevin for performances or video shoots, and the only other time he really saw Kevin dance was when they were reviewing video footage. They just never had the time.

 

Eli knew he shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did. He really should have been watching girls dance. Actually, he should have been on vacation with a girl, been in this hotel with a girl. He should have been downstairs at the bar, buying a group of them drinks and telling them how famous he was back home. He was young, he was male, he was in Sin City. Most people in his situation would be doing things differently.

 

The problem was that Kevin danced better than any girl. And no girl gave Eli that warm tingly feeling way down in his stomach, the one he felt whenever he looked at Kevin for too long... the one he felt right now. It was a good feeling, but also scary and predatory. It made Eli want to do more than just sit still.

 

Suddenly Eli sat straight up. Kevin had been free-styling up to this point, but Eli recognized the dance he was doing now. It was Eli's favorite part of DoraDora: when Kevin was in front, popping his chest and running his hands up his body. It was so... hot. The warmth in his stomach sank a little lower, and he bit his lip. He could tell Kevin noticed the way Eli's eyes were roving all over him, but Eli couldn't tear his eyes away.

 

As the song drew to a close, Eli balled his hands into fists, his thoughts a tangled mess. I want you, I want your body, I want you on top of me, stop ing teasing me. As if he'd heard, Kevin shimmied up to Eli, swung a leg over him, and slowly pulled himself into Eli's lap. Eli in a sharp breath as Kevin caressed his neck and massaged the back of his head. “Kevin...”

 

“Yes, Eli?” Kevin murmured, leaning forward until his lips were a hair's breadth away from Eli's.

 

“I...I don't think we should...we can't do this,” Eli whispered. Even as the words left his mouth he wondered why he was saying that. His entire body screamed for Kevin. There were so many things he wanted to do—for a start, to pin Kevin to the mattress, to pull his head back and sink his tongue into that pretty mouth of his... But a nagging little voice in his head kept hissing, No. No. No.

 

Kevin pulled back, an unreadable expression on his face. “Why not?” he asked. His tone, too, was unreadable.

 

“It's not a good idea.” Kevin's features usually betrayed his feelings, but at the moment he wasn't so much as blinking. His lack of expression worried Eli. “Are you mad?” he asked, wondering what Kevin was thinking.

 

Before Kevin could answer, the doorbell rang. He pushed himself up. “I'll get it. It's probably the pizza,” he said as he left the room.

 

Eli took a deep breath and blew it out. Perfect timing. He fled into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

 

Just then he heard Kevin calling for him. “Eli? Where'd you go? It was the pizza.”

 

“I decided I'm not very hungry,” Eli said through the door. “I'm gonna take a shower instead, okay?”

 

Kevin didn't answer, and Eli wondered if he'd heard him. “Kevin? Is that okay?”

 

No reply. Eli shrugged and undressed. Kevin was probably too busy eating the pizza without him to answer. He turned the shower on, with the temperature all the way down, and stepped in. Just what he needed to cool his head. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about what had just happened.

 

When he finally finished, Eli returned to the bedroom to find Kevin already in bed and the pizza untouched. He went to wake Kevin up, thought better of it, and crawled into his own bed, regretting how the night had played out.

 

—

 

The next morning, Eli was reminded that waking up was a lot colder without Kevin next to him. He rolled over to look at Kevin's bed. It was empty and already made. Eli sat up, alarmed. “Kevin?” he exclaimed.

 

The boy poked his head in and smiled. “Oh, you're up.” He walked in, fully dressed and carrying a tray of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and fruit. “I ordered room service.”

 

“I was worried when I woke up and saw you weren't there,” Eli said, slightly miffed.

 

Kevin set the tray at the foot of Eli's bed. “You're so sweet to worry about me,” he said, leaning over to kiss Eli's cheek.

 

Eli dodged the kiss and reached for the tray. “Thanks for breakfast,” he said quickly. He raised a strip of bacon to his mouth, but dropped it when Kevin grabbed him by the head and planted a big, wet kiss on his cheek.

 

“Ack!” Eli squawked, rubbing his cheek. “Gross!”

 

“Serves you right, dodging my affection like that,” Kevin huffed.

 

“What are you talking about, dodging your affection?” Eli blurted. “What's with you so early in the morning?”

 

“What's with you?” Kevin demanded. “You've been acting weird since we got here.”

 

Eli threw off his blankets and clambered out of bed. “What, just because I don't want you kissing me and climbing all over me like a freaking monkey, I'm acting weird?” he spat.

 

Kevin stepped away from Eli, looking like he'd been slapped. “So that's how you feel. I didn't realize. I'll just leave you alone, then.” He turned to leave, but Eli grabbed his wrist.

 

“Wait, Kevin, I didn't mean it like that,” he said, regretting his harsh words. He wasn't trying to hurt Kevin's feelings.

 

“Well, how did you mean it, Eli?” Kevin asked. He pulled his wrist out of Eli's grip and crossed his arms. “You've been acting so awkward, like we don't touch each other back home.”

 

“It's not that,” Eli sighed. “It's just too much sometimes. When you get on top of me, or try to kiss me, it's too much. We're not a couple. I don't...” He trailed off weakly.

 

“You don't what?” Kevin prompted.

 

“I don't know what you want from me, Kevin.”

 

Kevin shook his head bitterly. “I just want you to be honest for once. If not with me, then at least with yourself.” He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

 

Eli winced a little. Kevin never slammed doors, so he must have been really upset. Eli groaned and fell back onto the bed, upsetting the breakfast tray in the process. “!” This day was not going well, and it hadn't even begun yet.

 

—

 

Eli paced the suite anxiously. It was almost dinnertime, and Kevin still hadn't returned. Eli wanted to kick himself. He was such an ! What if Kevin was so upset he wasn't coming back? What if something bad had happened to him? What if he'd been mugged or kidnapped? Eli's mind sped with ever-worsening possibilities.

 

He pulled at his hair and banged his head against the wall. He had to look for Kevin! He had to find him and make sure he was okay. He had to apologize...

 

There was just one flaw in that plan: Kevin could be anywhere. He could be in a casino, the mall, some restaurant. The Strip housed any number of places to amuse yourself, or to hide from someone you didn't want to see. Even if the two of them crossed paths, Eli might not see him. He banged his head on the wall again, frustrated and angry with himself.

 

A pop song sounded, and Eli glanced up to see his cell phone light up on the coffee table. He lunged for it, praying it was Kevin. He flipped it open and read the text that popped up.

 

Meet me at the mall, I need your help.

 

Eli closed his phone. Relief flooded him. Kevin was alive, at least. But he needed Eli's help. I have to get to him! Eli thought, stuffing his phone into his pocket. He frantically searched for his jacket, tripping over the couch, the table, and his own feet in the process. Jacket, jacket, where was that damn thing?

 

Hello. It was summer and he was in Las Vegas. What did he need one for? He cursed his stupidity and raced out of the hotel.

 

When he got to the mall, Eli came to a horrible realization: he didn't know where in the mall Kevin was. He could be in any of the hundreds of shops, on any of the three floors. Eli smacked his forehead and groaned. He sent Kevin a quick text: Where in the mall?

 

Third floor, came the reply. Eli texted him again, wanting more specifics, but Kevin didn't answer. Eli hoped he wasn't in serious trouble, because this was going to take a while.

 

It took him almost an hour to find Kevin in a shoe store, surrounded by piles of shopping bags. Eli gaped at him. “Kevin-ah, what is all this?” he asked. “And how did you afford it?”

 

Kevin glanced up and flashed him a smile, ignoring his questions. “Eli! You finally found me!”

 

“You said you need help,” Eli said cautiously.

 

“And I do,” Kevin said. “I need you to help carry my bags.”

 

Eli stared at him incredulously. “I've been freaking out all day, wondering where you were, thinking something could have happened to you, and you call me down here to carry your bags?”

 

“Well I can't carry them all by myself, can I?” Kevin turned to the cashier and handed her a credit card. “I think that's all. Thanks for all your help! Let's go, Eli.”

 

“That really is all I'm good for, isn't it?” Eli said, shaking his head and picking up as many bags as he could carry.

 

Kevin laughed and patted Eli on the arm. “Of course not. You're good company too.” He picked up the remaining bags and traipsed out of the store. Eli trailed after him, weighed down by all the bags he was carrying.

 

Kevin was all smiles as they walked back to the hotel, and it seemed like he was willing to forget their earlier argument. At first, Eli thought it was a good thing that they were acting like nothing had happened. But he knew Kevin too well to believe that for long. Kevin was smiling like he was happy, but he wasn't saying a word, which said a lot. He was still upset.

 

“Kevin-ah, talk to me,” Eli said once they made it back to the suite. “You're still mad at me, aren't you?”

 

“I'm not mad, Eli,” Kevin said, wading through the sea of shopping bags to get to the bedroom. “I'm just tired.”

 

“Tired of what?” Eli asked as he struggled to follow.

 

Kevin ignored him, but Eli grabbed his hand. “Please, Kevin,” he begged. “I want to fix this. I want things to be good between us.”

 

Kevin might as well have clamped an iron fist around Eli's heart, with the look on his face. “I'm tired of all of this, Eli,” Kevin said, voice wavering. “You know how I feel about you, I know you do. I care about you more than anything, and I thought you cared about me too, but I don't know anymore.”

 

Eli reached out, not knowing what to say but desperately needing comfort Kevin. Kevin rushed forward and hugged him. “Eli, I love you. I love you, but you won't tell me the same. Am I really so troublesome? Did I misunderstand everything?”

 

“No, Kevin, no,” Eli whispered. “I care about you too.” He squeezed Kevin tightly, hoping that Kevin wouldn't notice that his careful use of the word “care” instead of the “l” word.

 

“Then why, Eli?” Kevin demanded, pulling back a little and clutching at Eli's shirt. “Why you always keep me at arm's length? Why can't we just be together?”

 

These were dangerous waters, and Eli was drowning. He wasn't ready to swim in this area yet. “You know how it is over there,” he said, deflecting Kevin's questions. “We can't risk U-KISS because we want to fool around.”

 

Kevin made a disgusted sound and smacked his hands against Eli's chest. The unusual violence on Kevin's part shocked Eli. “How can you say that?” Kevin cried. His voice steadily grew in volume. “Fool around? Is that really all you see me as, a potential ual conquest?” He shoved Eli away. “I can't believe you're trying to blame your insecurity on others. Do you really think anyone who matters will care?”

 

Insecurity? Eli was tough and manly and attractive, what did he have to be insecure about? It's not like he was gay or anything. Not that it was a problem that Kevin was, but Eli wasn't. Not even a little.

 

“Our bandmates will care,” Eli said halfheartedly. He didn't really buy that, and he didn't think Kevin would either.

 

He was right. “Oh, come on, just look at Soohyun and Hoon!” Kevin snapped. “Do you really think nothing's going on there? Those two have been all over each other since Hoon joined U-KISS, and he hasn't even been with us that long! But you and I have known each other for years and you won't admit we're anything more than friends. Oh, sorry, friends that want to ‘fool around.’ Are you that insecure? Are you that afraid of feeling something for a guy?”

 

Every sentence that shot from Kevin's mouth was like a punch to the gut for Eli. Kevin never got mad at anyone, and he was never so bold about his feelings. Eli flinched at all the newfound anger directed at him. His stomach had managed to twist itself into a knot so tight he thought he would throw up. He couldn't argue with Kevin, because everything he was saying was true. But Eli couldn't answer him either; he couldn't give Kevin the answer he was looking for. He couldn't handle this situation. It was too much.

 

He barely felt his feet carrying him away from Kevin and out of the suite. He didn't even register Kevin calling after him, begging him to come back. All of his senses were working overtime to keep his denial intact.

 

—

 

Eli walked blindly. He vaguely remembered to stick to the Strip, so he wouldn't get lost in Las Vegas, but besides that he didn't pay attention to where he was going. He wandered around in a panicked daze, his head pounding, blood roaring in his ears. He bumped into people more than once and kept tripping all over the place. But nothing could stop him; he was like a madman, trying to run away.

 

As long as he kept walking, he didn't think at all. He didn't think about Kevin's words, and he definitely didn't think about his own feelings. If he did, his head would probably explode.

 

After a while, he wandered into a bar and sat at the counter. He didn't order anything, just sat and sort of stared at the bottles of booze. Sitting turned out to be a bad idea: his whirling thoughts began to settle and take form. He clamped a hand over his mouth, praying he wouldn't puke all over the bartender, who was eying him warily. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm down.

 

Breathing. That was the key. Wasn't that what the yoga buffs always said? He just had to breathe, and he'd be okay. He took one shaky breath, then another, eventually forcing his breathing into a steady rhythm. He swallowed and looked up at the bartender, who set a glass of water down in front of him.

 

“Thanks,” Eli muttered, grabbing the glass and gulping the water down gratefully.

 

“If you're not feeling well, you should leave,” the bartender advised before turning to other customers.

 

Eli nodded numbly. He should really get back to the hotel. The sun would be rising soon, and his feet ached and his thighs burned from all the walking. But going back meant facing Kevin.

 

The water cleared Eli's head considerably, and he groaned. He couldn't believe he'd just left. This whole situation had both of them acting totally out of character. Kevin was getting angry and Eli was running away.

 

What am I running from? Eli asked himself. Was it really the fear of becoming an outcast in Korea, or—Kevin's question came back to him—was he really that afraid of feeling something for a guy?

 

He sorted his reasons against admitting he had feelings for Kevin in his head. Potentially, all of South Korea would turn against them. They could be kicked out of U-KISS as well as NH Media, and their careers would be dead. All good reasons for not coming out publicly. So why not just follow Soohyun and Hoon's example and carry on a relationship in private?

 

Because I'm not gay, Eli's mind supplied.

 

Right. Definitely not. I am not into guys. So then why am I attracted to Kevin?

 

Because he kind of looks like a girl?

 

That's a ty thing to say. I'm not even sure that has anything to do with it. Besides, it's not just that I'm attracted to him. I think I might have feelings for him too.

 

Do I?

 

He's a really good friend. I care about him. I don't want to see him get hurt, or be sad. When he's happy, I'm happy; when he smiles, I'm happy; whenever I see him, I'm happy. I don't want to see him with anyone else...

 

So am I in love with the guy or aren't I? Am I gay or not?

 

He was having a conversation with himself like a crazy person and he wasn't any closer to an answer. Whatever the case, Eli cared about Kevin too much to just leave him like this—he knew that much, at least. He had to face him, and better sooner rather than later. He tossed a five on the counter for his water and left the bar.

 

The ache in his legs and feet was more pronounced than ever when Eli finally trudged back into his hotel. He had never appreciated elevators more than he did right now. He hit the button for the thirty-fifth floor and leaned his tired body against the elevator wall.

 

When the elevator reached its destination, Eli dragged himself down the hall to the suite he shared with Kevin. He let himself in quietly, not sure if Kevin would still be up at such a late hour. Or early hour, depending on how you looked at it. The shopping bags were stacked in a neat pile out of the way, so Eli tiptoed to the bedroom and peeked in. “Kevin? Are you up?” he asked softly.

 

Kevin appeared to be asleep. Eli walked over to him and knelt beside the bed. Normally Kevin had a small smile on his face when he slept, which was super cute, but right now his delicate features were pulled into a pained expression, and the area around his eyes was red and puffy. Eli's chest tightened with guilt as he realized that Kevin had fallen asleep crying.

 

Eli noticed that Kevin's iPod was in his hand and one of his earphones was dangling off the pillow. Eli gently pulled the electronics away, wondering what Kevin had been listening to. He got an answer when he put an earphone up to his ear.

 

“I'm begging you now.”

 

The line struck a chord deep inside Eli. Kevin was begging him, he realized, begging him to say something that was simple and real and clearly all Kevin needed to hear.

 

Eli wondered for the umpteenth time that night what he was so afraid of. Was it that scary to admit that he was kind of gay? Was it that scary to admit that he was in—that he—Kevin...

 

everything. uality and feelings and right and wrong and what everyone else thought. All he wanted right now was to hold Kevin, to hug him tight and not let go. So he climbed into Kevin's bed and did just that. He pulled the younger man close and clung to him like he was going to disappear.

 

Eli felt calm for the first time since he'd woken up the morning before. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Kevin's hair. Was this wrong, this happiness he felt when he held Kevin in his arms? If so, then maybe it was better to be wrong.

 

—

 

Kevin woke up hours before Eli did. He lay quietly, relishing the feel of Eli's arms around him. Now why couldn't life be this nice all the time?

 

He wanted to stay mad at Eli for being such a jerk, but Kevin was not an angry person by nature and he couldn't hold a grudge to save his life. He was still hurt—it that the person he was in love with wouldn't even admit to being interested in his gender, let alone him—but looking up at Eli only made him happy. Eli's embrace was one of Kevin's favorite places to be, so he decided to put his hurt aside and just enjoy the moment.

 

At least until Eli woke up.

 

Which he didn't do for a long time, thanks to his late-night breakdown. Kevin was grateful. He didn't want to argue with Eli anymore. He didn't want to hear Eli's weak excuses, or watch him tell himself all the reasons being with Kevin was wrong. This was better. This was warm and cozy and comfortable. This felt right, when the past couple days had felt indescribably wrong.

 

It was afternoon when Eli finally began to stir. Kevin snapped his eyes shut and pretended to sleep, still not quite ready to confront Eli.

 

Eli's brain felt like it was full of cobwebs, and he was having trouble shaking them out. He was glad Kevin hadn't gotten up and left him. If he had, Eli probably would have cried like a girl all day.

 

“Kevin-ah,” he sighed, leaning his cheek against the boy's head. “I'm so sorry. I've been such a ing .” He was also a coward for confessing while Kevin was asleep, but he had to get this off his chest now, even if Kevin couldn't hear him.

 

“You were right, I think, Kevin-ah. I am insecure. I'm afraid. Wondering if I was gay... it was scary, it was something I didn't know how to deal with. And the truth is, I don't think I am, at least not completely. But with you, it's different. It would take me forever to explain why, so I won't try right now. But I think I know...” He hovered over Kevin's ear, determined to say the words he'd been burying. “I'm in love with you, Kevin Woo.”

 

The cobwebs were quite powerful, so at first Eli thought what happened next was a dream. After all, typically-shy Kevin would never kiss Eli on the mouth of his own accord.

 

Eli threw all his reservations to the wind (what was the point of holding back in a dream?) and slipped his tongue into Kevin's mouth, causing him to blush fervently. A coil of electricity s its way up Eli's spine, spurring him to give Kevin's bottom lip a gentle squeeze with his teeth.

 

A small but ecstatic moan escaped Kevin's throat and Eli shivered in pleasure. Wearing tight jeans to bed was a really bad idea. He was starting to wake up in more ways than one and it was starting to hurt. Which was weird because dreams usually weren't painful...

 

With a jolt he realized he wasn't dreaming and rolled away from Kevin, right off the bed. Again.

 

This time, when Kevin peered over the edge at him, he didn't look disappointed. He just raised an eyebrow at him. “You know, Eli, if you're going to fall off the bed every single time you get aroused, we're going to have a serious problem,” he laughed, propping his chin up on one hand.

 

“How long have you been awake?” Eli demanded.

 

“Long enough to hear your apology,” Kevin admitted, smiling, “and your confession.” He joined Eli on the floor and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you too, Eli Kim.”

 

Something burst inside Eli at those words and a grin crept onto his face. He cupped Kevin's face in one hand and placed the other on Kevin's thigh. “You've been so forward lately, Kevin-ah,” he said teasingly.

 

“I had to be. You weren't being yourself, and besides, I...” Kevin blushed again, his usual shyness returning in full force.

 

“You what?” Eli prodded, tucking his arm under Kevin's legs and pulling him into his lap.

 

“I—I didn't want to be without you anymore,” Kevin murmured. He looked up at Eli from under his eyelashes, a move that was so adorable Eli couldn't but help kiss him again.

 

Kevin giggled and lightly scraped his fingernails up the back of Eli's scalp, sending pleasurable tremors through the Eli's body. He kissed Eli sweetly on his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, then pulled back, a serious expression on his face.

 

“You know, I'm still upset with you,” Kevin informed him gravely. “You've been a real jerk to me the past few days. You're gonna have to make it up to me somehow.” He tapped Eli on the nose and nodded in the direction of the shopping bags. “You can start by returning everything I bought yesterday.”

 

Eli sighed. “And I was hoping I could just sit here and find out if your tongue dances as well as you do.”

 

“Eli!” Kevin screeched, scandalized.

 

Ignoring Kevin's protests, Eli scooped him up and tossed him onto the bed. “Or maybe find out if the walls are really as sound-proof as they claim...”

 

“Eli!”

 

Epilogue

Kiseop and Dongho weren't back from Japan yet, so only Soohyun, Hoon, and AJ were waiting when Kevin and Eli got off the plane. The two decided to keep things low-key in front of them and wait until they were home to announce what happened. They were pretty sure no one would have a problem with it, but it was still new and they didn't really know how to behave in front of people.

 

They received all the usual greetings and got the suitcases into the van with little incident, but just as they were about to climb in themselves, Soohyun let out a shriek. “Eli! What happened to your neck?”

 

Hoon and AJ inspected Eli's neck. Hoon's eyes grew as wide as saucers. “Soohyun-ah, those look like...” One by one, everyone's heads snapped in Kevin's direction.

 

Kevin flushed a brilliant crimson color. “What? Why are you looking at me?” he squeaked, scrambling into the van.

 

Eli tried to follow, but was pulled into a headlock. “Eli and Kevin made Las Vegas their little love nest!” AJ crowed in English. “Eli and Kevin, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S—”

 

“I wish I'd never taught you that rhyme, AJ,” Kevin said morosely from inside the van.

 

“Eli, is he right? Are you and Kevin a couple now?” Soohyun demanded.

 

“Um...” Eli mumbled, grasping for a distraction. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?”

 

Soohyun, Hoon, and AJ exchanged glances, and Eli thought he was in the clear, certain the English expression had confused them enough to make them give up.

 

“Nice try, Eli. We've been waiting for the two of you to get together for years and you aren't getting away without telling us everything!”

 

“Everything?” Eli yelped as he was unceremoniously dragged into the van by his friends.