The room is still, the aircon is humming softly as the night gets deeper. A tall young man turns to his side in his sleep but jerks his eyes lazily when the person that should be sleeping next to him is gone. He turns softly and sniffs the faint smell of paint coming from outside the bedroom. He checks the bedside digital clock and it says 2:30 AM. He barely had 3 hours of sleep and he's been woken up already - not that it's intentional, nor that he actually minds.

 

Though still a bit sleepy, he gets up from the bed and puts on his slippers to walk across the small room where various kinds of artworks hang on the wall, on some ropes in the ceiling and the bigger canvases are leaning against the corners of the room, unfinished sketches are even scattered on the floor and in the middle of the room is a busy painting on a canvas perched on an easel.

 

"Hey, Minho." The painter calls out without turning to him.

 

"Hey babe. You were already sleeping next to me earlier." Minho walks up to the brunet and gives his bare shoulder a kiss.

 

"I know. Sorry, I woke you up again, didn't I?"

 

"You know I don't mind. It just worries me sometimes." Minho sits on the floor next to his boyfriend,back facing the canvas, picking up pieces of paper obviously sketched earlier before Jonghyun moved to a bigger piece.

 

"I just needed to get this off my mind before I forget."

 

"What's that?" Minho turns his head and looks at the work in progress. It's a landscape of some sort. It's the ocean, with the full moon hanging above, the sea glistening with the moonlight and the stars' reflection. It's still unfinished but Jonghyun's already sketching 2 persons' silhouettes sitting by the shore and looking at the beauty of the place.

 

"I saw us here. In my dream."

 

"Let's find this place soon, okay?"

 

"I'd love that." Jonghyun leans down and gives Minho a kiss. "Go to sleep, Minho."

 

"Alright." Minho stands and Jonghyun continues with his work. Moments later the taller comes back and sets up a mattress and pillows next to Jonghyun, "Sleep when you're done, okay?"

 

"Yes, love."

 

And Minho lies on the mattress, leaving a space for Jonghyun to crash onto when he's done painting.

 

When Jonghyun hears Minho's light snores in the room, he criessilently. His hand gripping on the brush hard as he tries to muffle his sobs.

 

"I'm scared... If I don't paint, if I don't do this... I won't have enough time..."

 

----

 

"Jjong... Wake up."

 

"Go away..."

 

"Wake up, babe."

 

Jonghyun opens his eyes, blinks a thousand times, rubs his eyes then blinks repeatedly again.

 

"Jonghyun, is something wrong?" Minho asks worriedly.

 

"I'm fine, just getting used to the light." Jonghyun smiles, eyes still blinking and adjusting until he stops. "See? I'm fine now."

 

"Well, I'm leaving now. I'll call you after work. Should we go out for dinner?"

 

Jonghyun touches the tip of Minho's nose, "How about you come home earlier and let's buy groceries and I'll cook for you?"

 

"My, aren't you a sweetheart lately?"

 

"What say you?"

 

"I'd love that." Minho kisses him, "I'm sorry I woke you up knowing you slept late..." The taller looks at the nearly finished painting graciously standing next to the mattress, "But I know you hate it whenever I leave without telling you."

 

"It's okay. Go now, or you'll be late."

 

"You can call me when you wake up later." Minho kisses him again then leaves their shared apartment.

 

Jonghyun closes his eyes, "Rewind, rewind. Pause. Play. Rewind..." He tells himself as he lies on the mattress again, "I don't have enough time..."

 

-----

 

They're shopping for ingredients when Minho notices Jonghyun having a hard time looking at labels, at price stickers.

 

"Jonghyun, is something wrong?"

 

"I'm fine!" Jonghyun frantically returns the can of tomato sauce on the shelf.

 

"You're not. Tell me what's bothering you..."

 

"Don't be like that. Nothing's wrong."

 

"Is it your eyes?"

 

Jonghyun doesn't say anything, instead he hugs Minho, "You worry too much!"

 

The taller gives his boyfriend's forehead a kiss. He's been with Jonghyun for 3 years now and he can already tell in his voice that the older is lying. But he'll let it slide tonight.

 

They enjoy a wonderful dinner prepared by Jonghyun that night, and even if they are already full, they end up snuggling on the couch and eating ice cream while they watch some DVDs.

 

"I wanna go to Busan, Minho."

 

"Why?"

 

"See the cherry blossoms. Watch the sea."

 

"I'll get a vacation leave. How about this weekend?"

 

"I'd love that." Jonghyun snuggles closer and buries his head on Minho's chest. It's a Wednesday and he can't wait for Friday to come.

 

-----

 

The next morning is a blur. Literally a blur.

 

Jonghyun wakes up earlier than Minho in hopes of preparing a hearty breakfast for his boyfriend but his eyes just won't cooperate.

 

"Oh, god..." He whimpers, and his sobs that can't be contained in silence anymore awakens his boyfriend.

 

"Jonghyun! What's wrong!? Did you have a bad dream?!"

 

"I'm going blind... I'm going blind..." The older cries and buries his head on his hands.

 

"Is this what you're trying to hide from me all this time?!"

 

"I'm sorry. I was scared... I didn't want you to worry..." Jonghyun keeps crying, Minho hugs him in return.

 

"Of course, I'll worry! You can't be carrying the weight of this problem alone... When are you planning to tell me?"

 

"I dunno. When I'm completely blind, maybe..."

 

"You idiot..." Minho kisses the top of Jonghyun's head and continues, "I love you. I won't ever leave you... This is 2012. Whatever happens, you will not lose your eyesight. I won't let it be taken away from you."

 

Jonghyun doesn't say anything, instead he continues to sob, he feels his tall boyfriend reach for something and hears him call someone on his cellphone.

 

"Hey, Jinki-hyung... I won't be able to come to work today until this Sunday. Something important came up... I'll email you a formal letter for my leave of absence later."

 

"Your boss is so lenient on you." Jonghyun whispers after Minho hangs up the call, the younger chuckles. "Jjong, Jinki-hyung is my bestfriend and business partner, remember?"

 

"I do remember, you idiot. I'm going blind, not amnesiac."

 

-----

 

Minho ends up preparing their breakfast and it's while waiting for the pancakes to be done when Jonghyun exclaims, "It's back! It's back!" And flips Minho around from the stove counter and kisses him over and over until the 1st batch of their food burns.

 

"How long have you known?" Minho asks straightforwardly, Jonghyun looks at him after taking a sip of coffee.

 

"About 5 years ago."

 

"We haven't met yet then."

 

"Yeah."

 

Minho takes a bite off his pancake and continues, "How did it happen?"

 

"Ever noticed why I hate driving?"

 

"You got into an accident?!"

 

Jonghyun nods as if the accident was as normal as breathing.

 

Minho grits his teeth in anger, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

 

"You never asked."

 

"How was I supposed to know?!"

 

"Maybe I didn't want to tell you!"

 

The taller bangs his fist on the table making some of the utensils fly off the plates and their cups of coffee to spill, "Why are you so unbelievably unfair?! Why do you have to do this alone?!"

 

"This isn't how I want my day to start, Choi Minho! Just go back to your goddamn work and leave me alone! This is why I didn't want you to know!" Jonghyun doesn't finish his breakfast and walks out of the dining area.

 

Minho sighs in disbelief, he doesn't want to anger his boyfriend either but the rush of all these information just stresses him out. He's worried, really, really worried for Jonghyun and he's scared. He's scared not for himself, but for his boyfriend. If there's anything that Jonghyun lives for - it's painting.

 

Minho prepares two tall glasses of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and choco bits then goes to their shared bedroom. "Babe?" He calls out and he sees the figure on the bed turn still. Minho knows Jonghyun's crying and he hates it. "Babe... I'm so sorry." Minho tells him as he soothes his lover's back. "I prepared your favorite drink, let's talk this out..." He puts the  tray on the bedside table and waits for any movement from his boyfriend.

 

Jonghyun turns and sits up, "I hate you, and seducing me with my favorite drink makes me hate you more and more." The older cries again and hugs Minho tight, "I'm so sorry about my reaction, Jjong..." He wipes the tears on Jonghyun's cheeks and kisses his temple. "Can you tell me what happened now?"

 

Jonghyun pulls himself away and looks him in the eyes, "I was 19. I was super excited to drive around since I just got my driver's license and I couldn't wait to see the world, to paint everything. Even at the break of dawn, I'd hop on my car and speed away to wherever my guts will lead me."

 

Minho nods and hands Jonghyun his drink. "Please, go on."

 

"It was a really rainy and dark night, I couldn't see a thing, couldn't even hear anything but the rain falling harshly. And then my car slipped, and I crashed on a tree, glass shards entered my eyes and my doctors told me, a nerve on my cornea was gashed and it's getting thinner and thinner and it will break soon, it was so thin that it's risky for an operation... I will go blind eventually unless I get a cornea donor."

 

Minho stares at Jonghyun, he bites his lip and his lover slaps his face lightly, "I know that look on your face Minho and no. YOU WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS."

 

"I want to help you."

 

"You do crazy and stupid things whenever you want to help me."

 

"I don't want you to go blind."

 

Jonghyun kisses Minho, "As long as you're here with me, I know you will show me the world. You will be my eyes and I'll be okay."

 

-----

 

Jonghyun is busy painting in his small studio that he doesn't hear Minho step inside, "Take a shower, Jjong."

 

"You could just say I smell like paint and I'd be less offended." Jonghyun snickers a little without turning to face his boyfriend.

 

"You know I'd still love you all the same even if you smell like paint everyday." Minho kisses Jonghyun's cheek, "We're going to Busan."

 

Jonghyun looks up, eyes sparkling, "Really!? Yey!" The older jumps off the chair and runs out the room, then runs back to plant a kiss on Minho's lips, "I love you. I really do."

 

An hour later, they're on the road, with Minho driving and Jonghyun on the passenger's seat singing along to the song playing on the radio. Occasionally, the artist would take out his camera and take pictures of sceneries as they make their way to the beach. "I'd frame them up, or paint them. That way I'll remember I've passed through here, that I'd been here and that it won't be forgotten."

 

Minho holds his lover's hand as he keeps on driving, he looks at him from time to time and he notices how Jonghyun keeps yawning but fights back the urge to sleep. "Why don't you take a rest?"

 

"I don't want to sleep."

 

"Why not? You seem tired."

 

"I'm afraid my eyes will give out if I close them for so long. I wanna see the ocean until then."

 

"Babe?"

 

"Hmn?"

 

"Where else do you wanna go?"

 

Jonghyun sighs and looks at the calm horizon, "I don't know. I never really thought about it until now. I mean, I just thought I'd go blind and we'll move on with our lives, I even thought about you leaving me when it happens."

 

"Don't be stupid. Why would I leave you?"

 

"Who'd want to stay with a disabled person like me?"

 

"Me. When I asked you to move in with me 2 years ago, it was meant to be forever."

 

Jonghyun turns quiet and Minho keeps on driving, the younger hears his lover's muffled sobs, "Jjong... Don't cry."

 

"Why do you love me this much?"

 

Minho stops the car by the roadside and hugs his lover, "I just do. I don't know how to explain it but it's just how I feel, it's just what I wanna do."

 

"Couldn't you have said sappy things when we're already on the beach? Now I wouldn't wanna let go of you!" Jonghyun punches Minho's chest lightly before nuzzling his nose against it.

 

Minho laughs and kisses the top of Jonghyun's head, "it's getting dark and not many cars are here. I'm up for a quickie."

 

"No." Jonghyun kisses him, "Now drive and let's get a ing room."

 

-----

 

Their breaths hitch as they lay side by side on the bed, their luggage forgotten in the car and their clothes discarded on the floor - the beach's sunset can wait until tomorrow.

 

"Minho?" Jonghyun calls out with his voice sleepy and tired.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Pretend I'm already blind..."

 

"Don't want to."

 

"Do it!"

 

Minho pulls Jonghyun closer to a hug and nuzzles his nose on the older's bare shoulder, "Okay, pretending now..."

 

"How would you describe the sunrise tomorrow?"

 

"I wouldn't know."

 

"WHY NOT!?"

 

"Because we overslept and didn't care that we did..." Minho kisses Jonghyun's cheek and whispers, "Go to sleep, you're tired."

 

"Keep me awake... Please."

 

"Tomorrow when you wake up, you'll still see the beach. I'll make sure you do."

 

-----

 

Jonghyun wakes up to the smell of coffee and a blurry vision, expected.

 

"Min..."

 

No answer, so he screams his name, "MINHOOOOO!!!"

 

And of course, his lover runs to their room, "What's wrong!?"

 

"Nothing. Blurry vision, but kinda expecting it. Did we miss the sunrise?"

 

"Totally did." Minho crawls on the bed and kisses Jonghyun, "G'morning, babe."

 

"I'm hungry."

 

"Let's have brunch and let's take a walk. It's an awesome day."

 

"Lead the way."

 

"I have a better idea." Before Jonghyun can reply, he is lifted up from the bed and Minho carries him bridal style to the dining table.

 

"I'll get used to this."

 

"You have to."

 

After their breakfast Minho leads Jonghyun outside and the older takes baby steps as he tries to walk on the sand.

 

"Okay there?"

 

Jonghyun nods, "Yeah."

 

Minho holds his hand tighter, "Just tell me if you can't walk any further."

 

"Babe, if I don't start trying to walk like a blind man when will I do?"

 

"Point taken." Minho kisses Jonghyun's temple and they continue to walk.

 

"Tell me what you see. It's your training as well."

 

"The sea is blue and there are white birds by the shore."

 

Jonghyun scrunches his brows for a moment, "What kind of birds?"

 

"Not sure. The usual white birds on the beach."

 

"Oh. Okay. What else do you see?"

 

"There's a young couple sunbathing and a family of three swimming."

 

"Uh-huh. How high is the sun?"

 

"Not too high. It's a nice day."

 

"Can we take a rest?"

 

"Sure."

 

They're sitting by the shore for at least ten minutes when Jonghyun's vision starts getting back to normal, and he sees what Minho told him. Jonghyun sighs, he sees them not as Minho did.

 

The beach isn't just plain blue, its water is twinkling due to the sun's rays while the sky and sea's colors are blending making the horizon infinite. The birds are storks, and Minho forgot to mention the old woman feeding them as she stands in the middle of the flock, as if mystery clouds her very soul. The couple sunbathing looks like they just fought and lying under the sun in silence is the only solution they have at the moment and the family of three swimming isn't happy.  The mother looks at her son painfully as the father fakes a smile, in Jonghyun's eyes, the family is crumbling slowly to the ground. Jonghyun sighs deeply, he loves Minho so much but he can't describe the things he sees to the older. The world becomes flat and dull, and Jonghyun is scared that all of the things he'd seen and will see until he goes blind will fade away overtime.

 

"Something wrong?"

 

Jonghyun shakes his head, "But you kinda in describing stuff. Saying that the sea is blue is an understatement. It's beautiful."

 

"I'm sorry." Minho smiles then cups his lover's face between his hands, "I wish that I could see the world through your eyes."

 

Jonghyun kisses him for the lack of response, 'you can't. I'm sorry, but you can't.' "I love you nonetheless." The older smiles.

 

It's later after lunch that Jonghyun perches up his easel on the balcony of their bedroomand Minho leaves him there with his paints and thoughts. The younger steps out of the room and calls Jinki.

 

"Explain this to me, Minho."

 

"I just told you on my email, Jonghyun's going blind."

 

"He can't be blind. He's an artist, and a genius at that."

 

"That's why I need your help."

 

"How?"

 

"Your boyfriend's a doctor, right?"

 

"Key's a plastic surgeon, but maybe he can find someone to operate on him. We'll need a donor though."

 

"... I want it to be me."

 

"Don't be stupid, Minho. Only dead people can donate their cornea."

 

"... I know."

 

"Minho, as your bestfriend and business partner, I reprimand you from doing the impossible. This isn't the movies, you're gonna hurt him more even if you give him your eyesight."

 

"But Jinki..."

 

"No. There are a lot of cornea donors out there, shut it. Not another word about you donating your cornea to him."

 

-----

 

Two days and 3 paintings after they are on their way back to Seoul with Jonghyun sound asleep on the passenger's seat. Jinki told Minho to come straight to his and Key's apartment so that his boyfriend can call his doctor friend that can check up on Jonghyun.

 

They're almost in Jinki's block when Jonghyun wakes up, "This isn't the way to our apartment."

 

"Glad you can see that it isn't."

 

"Jinki's?"

 

Minho nods and Jonghyun panics, "You told him?!"

 

"He's got Key for a boyfriend and he's a doctor. He has some connections and someone's there to check on you."

 

"How dare you do this without telling me?!"

 

Minho stops the car on the sidewalk, "You won't go blind! What do you want me to do? Just watch as you lose the one thing that means everything to you?!"

 

"I don't want another person's eyes! These are mine and if I'm losing them, then I will! They can't see things the way I do!"

 

"I'll give you mine if I have to!"

 

"You can't see it either! You see dull and boring things, I'd rather not see them at all!"

 

Then silence. Jonghyun is horrified by what he said, Minho starts the car and heads for Jinki's apartment. The older tries to reach out to Minho by tugging on his cardigan's sleeve but the younger shrugs him off, "Minho... I'm so sorry."

 

"Just... Don't speak to me right now."

 

"Please... I'm so sorry..."

 

Minho doesn't say a thing until 10 minutes later when they park outside the apartment of his bestfriend. "Dull and boring things?"

 

Jonghyun curls up his leg and mumbles, "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it... It just came out. I was just... I... I'm so sorry."

 

"You don't know how much I wanted to see what you see everytime you look at something, I'm sorry if all I could ever show you when your world gets dark is dull and boring. This is why I don't want you to go blind. I wouldn't be able to show you the world you want to see." Then Minho steps out of the car, leans on the trunk then takes a cigarette between his lips and waits for Jonghyun to compose himself as he becomes a crying mess inside the vehicle.

 

Minho fishes out his cellphone and texts Jinki, 'Hey, uh, we're outside but can you give us a little more time? We kind of fought on the way here.'

 

'Take all you need. Key's still preparing a banquet for 5.' Was Jinki's reply, Minho wonders how Key still has that time to cook when he's one of the most in-demand surgeons out there.

 

Minho kills his cigarette with his shoe and then lights up another. He had given up the habit but all the stress makes him reach out and take a nicotine stick between his lips again. He always had a pack on him just in case.

 

Minho hears the car door open and close, then arms wrap around his side, "I'm really sorry..." Jonghyun's still sobbing, "I know you want what's best for me... It's just... I'm so sorry."

 

The younger turns then hugs Jonghyun, "I know my incapacity to tell you what you want to see, but don't shut off any possibilities. It's not your eyes that see them, Jonghyun. It's your heart."

 

"... I'm so sorry." Jonghyun hugs him tighter, Minho cups his face and wipes the tears off his cheek, "Let's go, okay?" Jonghyun nods, trying to stop himself from crying.

 

Minho wipes Jonghyun's cheeks again when they reach room 406. "You're such a mess." But before Jonghyun can respond, Minho kisses him, "Don't say sorry again. I've heard too much of it for the day."

 

Minho knocks on the door and not before long, it's opened by Jinki with a huge smile on his face, "Hey, Jonghyun. Hey, you."

 

"Hey you, too!"

 

"Yaaah! Jjongie! Haven't seen you in a while!" Key chirps in, running towards the shorter and dragging him inside. For some reason, Key has taken quite a huge liking for Jonghyun ever since Jinki introduced his boyfriend to them 2 years ago. Key has taken up the role as Jonghyun's mother knowing that Minho's boyfriend has been orphaned since he's 17.

 

"Nice to see you too, Key!" Minho calls after him, the two figures disappearing into the kitchen.

 

"What happened? Jonghyun looked so distraught."

 

"Just a little misunderstanding. Let's not get into it."

 

"I see, I understand. So, let's just wait until Dr. Lee comes."

 

Minho is ushered into the kitchen where he finds Jonghyun helping Key transfer some of the dishes to some plates, "Don't just stand there, both of you. Help us bring these to the table!" Key tells them, Jinki and Minho obliges.

 

A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door, Jinki opens it and leads their guest to the dining area. Key stands up from his seat and takes the guest's arm, "So, this is Dr. Lee Taemin. He's one of, if not the youngest, optic surgeons here. We attended some classes together."

 

"Hi!" The surgeon greets them, Minho smiles and Jonghyun nods his head reluctantly.

 

"Well, I see dinner's served. Let's eat?" Taemin asks, and Key lets him sit on the chair across Jonghyun.

 

The dinner goes well, Key and Taemin talking about the time they were still in the University, Jonghyun notes how Key used to baby the young surgeon as well, but he keeps his silence. He's still not comfortable with the idea that he's being forced into this evenifit's for the best - he's selfish just like that.

 

"Jonghyun?"

 

A voice unknown but has become familiar speaks, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do some tests here, nor am I gonna do a check up. I'm here to talk to you, tell me what happened and we'll go from there."

 

Jonghyun looks up to a smiling Taemin, "I know. I'm sorry I'm giving off a bad vibe." The older smiles and Taemin nods, "Don't worry. You're gonna be just fine, Jonghyun."

 

After the dinner is finished, Taemin and Jonghyun are left in their privacy inside the couple's library-slash-Jinki's office while the other three stays at the living room for some desserts.

 

"Don't worry, Minho-yah. Jjongie will be fine." Key assures him, "There are thousands of cornea donors out there, he'll get them if he needs them."

 

"He says he doesn't want another person's eyes. Even mine. We can't see the things that he can."

 

"He's just being selfish. And a little baby, he's been used to livingalone for at least 4 years before he met you." Key tells him, flipping through some magazine, "He's trying to be independent."

 

"But I'm here now, Key."

 

"Look, I see your devotion and love and all that jazz, but Minho, this is Jonghyun. You should actually know him better than me but, you know that at the back of his mind, he's thinking that you might leave him too one day."

 

"God, Key. I won't."

 

"I tell Key that all the time but he just says that we never will know what the future holds. You might not leave him as in break up with him, but well, it's unpredictable."

 

They're still discussing about whether or not Minho will leave Jonghyun - the tallest insists that if he dies, he will leave a part of him on Jonghyun, or if he's a ghost he'll follow him everywhere. Key calls him an obssessed lover and a potential stalker, Minho laughs it off and then the door of Jinki's office opens with Jonghyun running to Minho crying.

 

"Babe... What's wrong?" Minho asks but Jonghyun keeps sobbing and buries his face deeper on Minho's chest. The taller just runs his hand up and down his boyfriend's back trying to soothe him. Jinki hands him a glass of water and he offers it to Jonghyun who drinks it in one go and proceeds on sobbing again. Key gets a blanket from the room, leaves it on the coffee table and he ushers his boyfriend and Taemin to the dining area to leave the lovers for a while.

 

Minho shifts to a more comfortable position on the couch to accomodate Jonghyun more. "Babe, come on... Rest a little."

 

"I love you..." Jonghyun murmurs then lays his head on Minho's lap, facing his lover's stomach. The taller his boyfriend's hair in silence. They stay like that for awhile until he hears Jonghyun's soft snoring and even breathing. Minho fishes his phone from his pocket and texts Jinki that they can come back to the living room now.

 

"What happened?" Minho asks Taemin after the settles on the chair across him. The surgeon fixes his glasses and smiles, "We just talked. And I told him that with the symptoms he's having, and after I called the doctor who treated him before... He only has days, lucky if his eyesight lasts for a week, and then he'll go totally blind. His condition was really sensitive and his previous doctor's decision to not operate on him and just wait for him to go blind before doing anything is probably better than operating on him immediately. More complications would have occured if he did otherwise."

 

Key returns with a tray of cups of coffee and sits next to Jinki, "So, did you two talk about a possible operation?"

 

Taemin takes a cup and sips his coffee before speaking again, "Yeah, we did. Honestly, there are a lot of people who needs cornea donations, and it's not that I'm saying that Jonghyun won't be a priority but it would take a while before he gets any operation after he goes blind."

 

"I see... If I look at the black..."

 

"NO!" Key intercepts, "Minho, are you crazy!? You are not gonna get Jonghyun's cornea from the black market."

 

"I was just..."

 

"Anyway, here's my card and please, do keep in touch." Taemin hands Minho his business card and gets up to leave. Key walks him out and Jinki sets up a mattress on the living room floor, "I'm sorry Minho, you both have to sleep here, I don't have a guest room yet."

 

"You should move already." Minho chuckles, Jinki glares at him, "Don't you dare say that, Key goes ballistic at the thought. If he hears you he's gonna start talking about his dream house."

 

"Okay. Shutting up."

 

Jinki leaves them and goes back to the bedroom, Key returns then settles himself on the mattress first, "Minho..."

 

"Hmn?"

 

"You know that I treat your boyfriend like my own son and best friend right?"

 

"Yeah... Why?"

 

"I just wonder... How far are you really willing to go to prove your love to him?"

 

"I'm just willing to do everything."

 

"Everything?"

 

"Pretty much."

 

"Taemin told me something..."

 

"What is it?"

 

Before Key can answer, Jinki returns with some pillows and Key gestures to Minho that they can discuss it later on, after making sure that their guests are settled, the hosts bid them goodnight and head to their room. "And Minho?" Key calls out, peeking from their door, "You can just lock the door if ever you wake and both of us have left already. Good night."

 

"Good night." Minho smiles and he hears Key close the bedroom's door,"Jonghyun... Babe...?"

 

Jonghyun stirs, but continues to sleep, Minho shakes him alittle to wake him up, "Whaat...?"

 

"Let's just move to the mattress so we can both sleep better."

 

"Okay..." Jonghyun lazily sits up and transfers to the mattress, Minho lies next to him and wraps his arm on Jonghyun's waist.

 

-----

 

The next morning Minho wakes up to find Jonghyun missing, he hurriedly stands up to look for him, and the apartment is practically empty (Key and Jinki has left for work). Minho notices a note on the dining table next to their breakfast, "Find me at the rooftop - Jonghyun". He sighs in relief and he closes the door behind him and rushes upstairs. He finds him sitting in the middle of the cement floor, his back hunched and concentrated on something. 

 

"Jonghyun?"

 

Jonghyun turns and smiles at him, he motions him to come over and Minho sits next to him. "Key gave me his prescription pad this morning over breakfast, I asked for a sketchpad but he doesn't have one so this will do."

 

"What are you drawing?"

 

"Random stuff. I might be blind the next time we come here so I sketched most of what I remember about this place."

 

"What time were you awake?"

 

"Around 3 am maybe?"

 

"It's a little over 11 already... Glad you didn't lose it this morning."

 

"I got to see around 8... So for the past 5 hours I was just... I dunno. I couldn't see a thing so I pretended to be asleep but I am fully awake."

 

Minho intertwines their fingers together, "Let's go home?"

 

Jonghyun nods.

 

-----

 

They spend the coming days at home, with Minho doing work there too. In the morning Jonghyun would wait til he can see, then he'd paint in his small studio. At night they'll have dinner outside and take a walk until both of them feels tired and ready to call it a day. For 3 days they do the routine, shying away from the conversation about his operation.

 

Today isn't that kind of day.

 

It's already past 4 in the afternoon and Jonghyun's still staring blankly outside the window. "Minho, what do you see?"

 

Minho looks up from his laptop and stares outside too, "There's a couple of punks smoking by the alley, but the girl is cuddling to him. I can barely see it but I think she's smiling. He gives her a kiss on the forehead and hugs her closer. Must be cold out."

 

Jonghyun smiles, "I see. I see them too."

 

"Your eyesight's back?"

 

"No... But I can see them. Thank you."

 

"Babe..?"

 

"Yeah?" Jonghyun turns to him, "What is it?"

 

"I looked online, there's a special school for the blind a couple of blocks away from here. I think, you should enroll."

 

Jonghyun nods a little apprehensively, "Y-yeah. I always wondered how to read in Braille... Now's the time to learn I guess."

 

Minho closes his laptop and leans over the table to cup Jonghyun's face, the older smiles when he feels his lover's breath ghosting over his face, then a soft peck on the lips, "I don't see you, but I feel you more than ever. It feels so good to know you're here."

 

"Let's go to your studio. I haven't been there since we came back from Busan."

 

"Lead the way."

 

Minho finds various landscape of the beach, of the sunrise, of a dog playing alone by the shore at sunset. There's a scene of a coffee shop by the side of the highway where they had breakfast on their way back to Seoul. There's Jinki's apartment, and the birds hovering above them when they were on Jinki's roofdeck. On the easel sits an unfinished portrait.

 

The lines are still rough, but the long hair, lips, and the eyelashes that touch the cheek of the sleeping man on the portrait is undeniably him.

 

"You drew me? You don't do portraits..."

 

"These past days I've been watching you sleep... Whenever I wake up without seeing anything I wait and while I do, it's your peaceful face sleeping I seefirst. For the years we've been together, I never watched you sleep, I was always busy painting. I guess losing my eyesight made me want to see the things that really matter."

 

"Jonghyun..."

 

"Remember what I told you before? How special a portrait is to me?"

 

Minho nods first, which he realizes is a stupid idea so mumbles a soft 'yes.' And Jonghyun continues, "I'll never do a portrait unless it's someone I'd spend the rest of my life with. Minho... Please?"

 

"I'll stay with you."

 

Jonghyun's eyesight doesn't return that day.

 

It doesn't return the next day either, or the next, and it's already been four months.

 

Minho lies on his bed after arriving from work. He went back to the office a month after Jonghyun succumbed to blindness and his lover has gotten used to his new surrounding: darkness.

 

"Minho, is that you?"

 

"Yeah..." Minho weakly answers him, Jonghyun walks to their bedroom, his cane tapping the tiled floor as he does. "Have you eaten?" The older asks, looking at the bed, "You sound so tired, something wrong?"

 

"Just some office . How's school?"

 

Jonghyun did enroll himself to the special school where Minho drops him off in the morning and a neighbor whose daughter attends the same school as the older takes him home with them.

 

"It's alright. Just finished Braille-reading A Little Prince..." Jonghyun walks slowly then sits on the bed, "The fox said that what is essential is invisible to the eyes..." The older feels for Minho's face, "Kinda funny though. Since we're all blind in that class anyway. What is essential or not will always be invisible to us anyway..."

 

"Babe..."

 

"Hmn?"

 

"Do you miss it?"

 

"Miss what...?" Jonghyun's voice is breaking, and Minho's an for asking the question but he still asks anyway, "Do you miss painting?"

 

"Dr. Lee says I might be able to get a donor soon, right? So... I try to be more positive now."

 

"But..."

 

Jonghyun sighs, "Yeah... Of course. I took a lot of the things I saw for granted but, I'm just hoping for the good news soon, and I'll be back on my feet to paint again."

 

It stretches to a year without knowing when Jonghyun will see the colors of the earth once more.

 

Even though Jonghyun tries his hardest to hide the pain from Minho through his smiles and positive disposition, the cries every night when the older thinks that Minho is asleep doesn't escape the younger.

 

-----

 

It's their 4th year anniversary and they just had their dinner. They're walking along the park near the restaurant hand in hand in silence, until Minho breaks it.

 

"You might be able to see soon."

 

Jonghyun smiles, "Dr. Lee tells me that monthly that I just shrug it off now. Not that I'm losing hope, but less expectations mean less pain. I actually don't have a heart to tell him I'm sick and tired of all the tests then hear that my donor doesn't match me, that I'd reject it. Even my eyes are more selfish than me."

 

Minho stops walking, "You will see again. I promised you." Before Jonghyun can respond, his lips are captured by Minho's, "I love you, okay?"

 

Jonghyun nods, "I love you too."

 

"Let's go home. It's starting to rain."

 

They barely make it to Minho's car when huge raindrops start falling, the sudden downpour scares Jonghyun a little, "Why don't you just wait for the weather to calm a little? I hate this."

 

"We're only an hour away from the apartment, what could happen?"

 

Jonghyun doesn't say anything but just curls up into a ball on the passenger's seat. His sense of hearing has been more sensitive now and he can hear that the rain outside is turning into a violent storm, as if they're in the middle of the ocean crashing with the waves. The older thinks that the sound reminds him of Busan and their last trip together when he can still see and that it is beautiful until Jonghyun hears loud honks and car tires burning into the pavement followed by a loud crash and total darkness.

 

-----

 

Jonghyun grunts and pain starts shooting up all over his body, he's been asleep - that he knows, but for how long, he'd have to ask someone - and opens his eyes, blinking a hundred times per second because he can see the white ceiling, he turns his head and finds some machines connected to him and on the couch, someone's sleeping.

 

"Key?"

 

Key wakes up immediately and walks up to him, "Thank god, you're awake!" Before Jonghyun can ask further questions, Key is out the door looking for some nurse and for Dr. Lee Taemin.

 

"They'll be here to check up on you in a bit."

 

"How long was I asleep?"

 

"About three weeks."

 

"I can see again. How? Was there a donor? Where's Minho?"

 

"Glad you slept through the recovery and the operation's obviously a success."

 

"Where's Minho?"

 

Key doesn't waver and instead changes the subject, "You do feel comfortable with your eyes, right?"

 

"Kim Kibum! Where the is Minho?! We got into the accident together, right?! Where is he?! Tell me!" Jonghyun rarely yells out Key's real name unless needed.

 

"Jonghyun, calm down." Taemin walks inside and tells Key that he'll take it from here. Key squeezes Jonghyun's hand and utters the words 'I'm sorry' before leaving the room.

 

"Please, please, please... These eyes... They're Minho's. Tell me I'm wrong, Dr. Lee. Please..."

 

"You're not wrong. They are indeed Minho's eyes."

 

Jonghyun cries, for all he knows and has been told, only dead people can donate their corneas.

 

"He talked to me about it, he said he's willing to be your donor if within a year that you still cannot see."

 

"He's so unfair! I told him a million times, I need him with me... I'd rather go blind forever than not have him with me! He's so stupid! Dr. Lee, please... I can't have his eyes. I need him, his whole being..."

 

"Jonghyun, calm down a little, you're still healing..."

 

"He's dead... How can I calm down?!"

 

"Don't kill him off yet, Jonghyun."

 

For a moment there his world stops spinning and all he could see despite the blur caused by his tears is Taemin's assuring smile, "Minho's fine, because I'm awesome."

 

"What do you mean...?"

 

"I performed both your eye surgeries."

 

"Both?"

 

"I got you a cornea donor from a living and willing person. He wanted to do it immediately after knowing that I can do such operations but I told him to wait for the right time and your accident was what we needed, not wanted, of course. Minho's waiver states that in case of an accident, whether he's killed or not, his cornea goes to you if you're still blind. It's a really sensitive operation and I needed to talk to Jinki-hyung and Key-hyung about what he wanted to do as well before we all agreed that I'll do it on you when the right time comes."

 

"Where's he?" Jonghyun's calmed a whole lot now, but still uncomfortable with what he's just heard.

 

"He's resting."

 

"Can I see him...?"

 

Taemin smiles and squeezes his hand, "Not today. We need to focus on you first. But you'll see him."

 

"Dr. Lee...?"

 

"Yes, Jonghyun?"

 

"He's blind now, right?"

 

Taemin nods, "For now."

 

"All the more for me to see him, please...?"

 

"No. Later, maybe." Taemin then flips the pages on his clipboard as he dismisses Jonghyun's request, "So... The only operation we did was your eyes, though we had to remove some blood clots on your brain due to hemorrhage..."

 

Jonghyun nods, not actually hearing his doctor's words, he doesn't care much anymore since he's more worried about Minho. "Do you feel any pain?" Taemin inquires, the older shakes his head.

 

"Are you sure? I mean, aside from injecting your medicines while you were in a coma, we need to make sure that you're recovering well. Your eyes, how about them? Do you feel comfortable?"

 

Jonghyun sighs, "They're Minho's... I've always felt more at home with Minho by my side. He's literally my home, my life. If anything, he's really my perfect donor. He's always been a part of me, and now... Literally."

 

"Glad to hear that. Well, let's start with your physical check up, okay?"

 

Dr. Lee Taemin does the necessary check up on Jonghyun with no protests, surprisingly. He tells his patient that he's really surprised on how fast Jonghyun is acting normally after an operation and a three-week coma. "You are stable, fortunately. But some of your stitches are healing, and your eyes, we'll still monitor them so you'd have to stay at least a few days, we need to know if you'll reject them now that you're awake. A nurse will assist you when you need something, just press the emergency button. I'll see you tomorrow."

 

"Dr. Lee?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"What's his room number?"

 

"... Just the one across yours." Taemin replies with a sigh, "I just can't stop you, can I?"

 

Jonghyun grins, "You can never will."

 

Taemin nods and leaves the room, a nurse comes in with a smile, "Hi, I'm Yoona. I'm here to give you your meds."

 

"Can you remove these?" Jonghyun pertains to the tubes still connected on him, Yoona smiles, "Well, lemme see Dr. Lee's report first." That's when Jonghyun notices Taemin's clipboard already on Yoona's hand. He thinks she's beautiful, and her innocence is overwhelming. The way she bites on the tip of her pen as she examines his results is quite cute too. He'd take her picture and etch her on film and he would still be in awe.

 

So Minho's right. It's not the eyes that see, it's the heart.

 

"Yoona?"

 

"Yes?" She smiles, "By the way, your dextrose are good to go."

 

"That's great. And uh, can you tell me what happened about the accident?"

 

Yoona smiles reluctantly, "Didn't Dr. Lee tell you already? Are you sure you want to hear it from me?"

 

Jonghyun shrugs, "Seeing that my guardian Key already left me, I guess you're all I have."

 

Yoona smiles as she prepares the medicines Jonghyun is to take, "Well, according to the report, an incoming car lost control and collided with yours, Choi Minho did try to take control of the wheel, so there was less impact on the collision but as he tried to avoid the incoming car, he didn't see the wall and crashed into it. Glad you both have seatbelts on or it would have been fatal for the both of you."

 

"But I was in coma, for three weeks at that."

 

"Aside that you weren't really physically injured fatally, you had a  hemorrhage and that's caused the coma. When the doctors were able to clean you up, they did the eye operation."

 

"And with Minho? What happened to him?"

 

"He's resting."

 

"If he's alive, why won't anybody tell me what's wrong with him?! Did he lose his eyeballs? Will I be looking at a hollow face?!"

 

Yoona shakes his head, "No, he's gonna look normal. But, that's what I was told. Just tell you he's resting when you ask about him."

 

"You do know I'm gonna run to his room when you leave."

 

"I know. So drink these, and I'll leave in a few."

 

Jonghyun smiles and takes all the medicine he needs, Yoona starts to leave but gives Jonghyun an assuring smile, "Run, devil. Run." Her patient grins as she leaves the door open for him.

 

Jonghyun wastes no time to jump off his bed and slides his feet on the slippers Yoona left at the foot of his bed. He leaves the room and opens the one across his without so much of a knock, "Minho?"

 

No one answers him, but he sees Minho sleeping. A door opens and Jinki emerges from the restroom, "Oh. Hey. I heard from Key and Taemin. How are you?"

 

"I guess I'm fine. How's he?"

 

"Should you even be here? You need more rest."

 

"Jinki-hyung, I've been asleep 3 weeks."

 

"How are the eyes?"

 

"Perfect."

 

"Again, how's he?"

 

Jinki motions him to sit first, which he does. He sits on the chair next to Minho's bed, "Was he in a coma too?"

 

Jinki shakes his head, Jonghyun sighs in relief. "He woke up 2 days later. Just like you, he had a hemorrhage but the doctors here were able to stop the bleeding. Good thing he was able to at least take control of the car a little or you'd both be dead right now."

 

"So... He was awake when he decided to give his cornea to me?"

 

Jinki nods, "But he's been so determined to give them to you for so long."

 

"He's so stupid."

 

"Jonghyun?"

 

"Yes, hyung?"

 

"Let's transfer to your room, he really needs to rest."

 

"Okay..." Jonghyun stands up and kisses Minho's cheek, "I love you, even if you're so stupid sometimes."

 

Jinki and Jonghyun ends up in the shorter male's room, "Why does he need to rest so much? And why's he still here? I mean, if he woke up earlier than me... Shouldn't he be the one guarding me?"

 

"He's having an operation later."

 

"But he just gave me his cornea! If there was a donor why did he give me his?!"

 

"There was no donor. The optical surgeons already want you to have the synthetic corneal transplant, but Minho won't have it. He says it's so unfair for you to have it. You need something real so he gave his own. And besides, when they checked your compatibility, there's very little percent of rejection."

 

Jonghyun starts panicking again, "But, he hasn't healed completely after his donation and now a transplant?! He's gonna push his eyes to the limit! I won't have it!"

 

Jinki walks up to Jonghyun and gives him an assuring hug, "Taemin and the rest of the team says it's possible. It doesn't take too long for the cornea to heal anyway. He'll be fine."

 

"He's so stupid..." Jonghyun sobs, "He's gonna hurt himself more and more. He should have just let me get the synthetic cornea."

 

"Well, what's done is done and what's about to happen shouldn't be stopped. Just get some rest, sleep. Watch TV, relax. Just... Minho doesn't know you're already awake, and he... He actually doesn't want you to know about this operation. He's already got an alibi for you, that those aren't his eyes on you, but as Taemin told us earlier, you knew. You just immediately knew that you have his eyes."

 

"Such a stupid frog." Jonghyun lies on his bed, "It feels sad though."

 

"Why?"

 

"I just realized that all I have is him. Key is yours and his. You're his too. He's all I have."

 

"And all you'll ever need." Jinki smiles, "Oh, by the way, Key said he'll be back later. He's really sorry he didn't give you as much as a greeting or a welcome earlier, he was sure he's gonna breakdown. He was so worried about the both of you. He wanted to stay but he's got an operation today."

 

"Tell him it's okay. I appreciate the fact that he stayed with me."

 

There's a knock on the door, and the door opens to a male nurse, "Ni hao ma. I'm Zi Tao, I will be giving your sponge bath now."

 

Jinki excuses himself and Jonghyun is left alone in the hands of the young Chinese nurse.

 

-----

 

Jonghyun doesn't know how he fell asleep - he remembers Jinki dropping by, and Key bringing him dinner that isn't hospital food. Later that night, after the couple left for home, Taemin dropped by to tell him that Minho's operation went well, they talked a little then he left again. Another nurse gave him dinner, a girl named Seohyun and then he watched TV then maybe eventually fell asleep.

 

He wakes up a bit early, around 5 in the morning and he isn't used to this. He slides off his bed, wrapped with a blanket, puts on his slippers and walks out of his room. The hallway is empty, he walks slowly and enters Minho's room. He hates how he's been awake, can see but can't even see his boyfriend smiling at him, taking care of him. He makes light steps then crawls under the blanket, never mind the small space of the bed.

 

Minho grunts, for the years he's been with Minho, he already knows that Minho is hard to wake up just by yelling at him, but he wakes up immediately when Jonghyun cuddles with him, or when he feels the older's presence away from him in the middle of the night, or when he cries.  

 

"You're stupid. You know that, right?" Jonghyun whispers against Minho's chest, a short grumble and a tighter hug is the reply he gets.

 

"But I love you, even if you're like that." Jonghyun presses himself closer if it's any more possible, "I love you so much."

 

"I love you too."

 

Jonghyun basks in the silence, his year's worth of blindness made him more sensitive to touch and it didn't go away even now that he's seeing his lover again. "... What did Taemin say about your eyes?"

 

"I'm okay. My eyes are okay, it hurts a little but it's healing. I asked us to be transferred in one room, he says I can leave tomorrow but I will wait until we can get out of here at the same time."

 

"Babe..."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You can see now, right? Even with that synthetic ones?"

 

"Yeah. It hurts a little but it's okay."

 

"Let's go upstairs. Let's watch the sunrise."

 

"As you wish."

 

It doesn't take too long to wait for the first rays of the sun to peak into the sky, but they don't realize they're waiting for it as they cuddle together bundled on a blanket in their hospital gowns, their hearts beating in sync in their chests.

 

"It feels like it's our first morning together again, huh?" Jonghyun asks, he feels the arms around his shoulders tighten and his back pressing firmer on Minho's chest, "Yeah, and to the many more we'll see together. Or overslept to, whatever. We're both so bad in waking up early this morning." Minho jokes as he rests his chin on Jonghyun's shoulder.

 

"Thank you, Minho. I now know that I won't have to be scared and whisper my fears to the wind. You'll be there for me, I know you will be."

 

"I will."

 

-----

 

Taemin shakes his head when he finds the couple sleeping together in Jonghyun's room, cuddling and trying to fit together on one single-sized bed.

 

"How can they even sleep in there?" Yoona asks the doctor as she eyes the couple sleeping.

 

Taemin smiles without tearing his eyes off the two, "When you're in love, you learn how to work things out."

 

Yoona is about to wake them up but Taemin stops her, saying there's still an hour anyway for their meds then they both leave the room leaving the lovers in their slumber.