Author's note:  I can't live without curse words.  So be warned. But I really don't think this is "mature".

FIRST PUBLISHED AFF FIC, yeahhhh.  edited to add that the brief mention of the SS4 Tokyo scene was inspired in part by the glorious fanart of thedirtypeanut. I needed a way to work that in and what she drew was pretty perfect.

Donghae yanked Hyukjae through the streets of Los Angeles, his laughter weaving with Hyukjae’s skin just the way their fingers intertwined.  “Come on, Hyuk! We’re always the last wherever we go -- Teukie hyung, wait up!”  Hyukjae smiled absently at his friend, mind still stuck on Donghae’s “surprise” by the fountain earlier.

“Hyuk, you know I’ve been trying to get into more R&B.  I miss writing something that flows so smooth.  Disco is fun and all, but that’s not it for us.”  
“Us?” Hyukjae laughed.  “I thought you were getting these tickets because you liked Frank Ocean.  What does this have to do with me, other than the fact that you don’t want to go alone?”
Donghae stopped tossing stray pennies and and lingering 5-won coins from the lining of his pockets to the dancing surface of the water.  “Because...because of our stages!  Just because you’re a selfish bastard and want your solo stage to yourself doesn’t mean I’ll stop sharing!  Besides, I think that style lets us show off our dancing a little more. Not that you need help with that.”  With that, he stuck his tongue out at Hyukjae and flipped another piece of metal into the air.
“Donghae,” Hyukjae sighed. “That was your house key.”
“!”

He’d never quite thanked Donghae for this random present, he mused,  only vaguely irritated by Donghae’s assumption that he’d be willing to give up one of his precious nights in America for a concert he liked.  Typical.  But he felt a stirring in his stomach.  He didn’t ask anyone else.  He didn’t threaten to take Siwon or Sungmin or Teuk, joking or not. This...is for us.

They caught up to the rest of the members just in time to hear Leeteuk pointing at a graffitied sign.  “ ‘City. of. Angels!’ “ he pronounced happily.  “See, LA is my home, you guys.  Apparently this is heaven.”  Most of the members just groaned.  
“So what you’re saying is we should leave you here?”  asked Kyuhyun, a sly smile playing on his lips.  “That could be arranged.” Hyukjae registered the laughter and the quarreling that ensued, but his thoughts were a million miles away, or at least six thousand, basking in the sunshine that bathed Mokpo on their last visit to the seaside town.

Donghae tugged excitedly on his elbow, breaking his reverie.  “Hyuk!  They have pajeon!  Let’s check out that one.”  Unsurprisingly, the group had felt a need to explore America’s idea of “Koreatown”, and while the smells and sounds transported them back to home for a second, what was the point of being home?  Regardless, Hyukjae’s one request was Korean food.  “What is LA even known for?” he had teased Leeteuk.  “Donghae and I are gonna find some japchae and you’re going to be jealous,with your burgers or whatever.”

Hyukjae was pretty sure he could guess part of the motive behind Donghae’s sudden attention to R&B, even if the younger singer wasn’t quite sure himself.  After Hyukjae’s solo at the concert in Tokyo, he had swaggered backstage shirtless on a high he couldn’t describe, only to be pinned so tightly against the nearest wall that he thought his skull would meld to the concrete.  Donghae had quickly found the Tokyo Dome’s most private bathroom and relinquished all control once they got inside, and Hyukjae found himself appreciating Sorry Sorry Answer more than ever before.  Though Donghae ing his mouth to a mental soundtrack of Ryeowook’s voice was a little...strange.
As he slipped back into memories of that night, he felt a sharp poke to the chest.  “Yah! Why are you being so weird, Hyuk?  Could you at least pretend like we’re on vacation?”  Donghae exclaimed.  “Damn, I should have left you alone with your Korean food after all. A burger sounds so good right now.”

Hyukjae rolled his eyes, mock exasperation playing across his features as Donghae pouted like a ing child.  “Whatever, .  Not like you’re paying anyways.”  And with that, Donghae lit up like a firework and then he went off with a bang, mouth running at a hundred miles an hour.  Hyukjae willed himself to listen to at least half of what his friend was babbling about, but his eyes were drawn to those quick pink lips every time his mind drifted.


----

The concert hall was smoky and rich, nothing like the clean lines of the Honda Center that they’d rehearsed at.  Hyukjae had heard a wealth of stereotypes when it came to America, but looking at the crowd around him, he wasn’t sure if you could apply a stereotype when no two people seemed quite the same.  Fascinated by the people around him, he almost lost his grip on Donghae’s hand as they pushed their way through the living, breathing mass surrounding them.  Vaguely wondering how Hae knew his way around a club in California, they ascended a steep staircase, Hyukjae parting from Donghae to fit into the narrow passage.  They found themselves at a velvety bar, overlooking the main stage.  Settling into the plush seats, Donghae smiled softly at Hyukjae, his giddy excitement  smoothing into contentment.  “Cool, right?”  
“It’s great,” Hyukjae agreed, glancing up at the mod chandeliers, clashing neon and crystal catching his eye.  “Los Angeles has a lot of different stuff going on, don’t you think?”
Donghae nodded as the pretty young bartender came over, a glint of silver shining in her lip.  Hyukjae liked that. Donghae brightened and dug through his pockets for a scrap of paper, reading haltingly to the waiting girl.  “Pine-ah...Colada?”  She giggled at him and looked expectantly at Hyukjae, who just shook his head, biting back a laugh.  Donghae mentioned something in English to the bartender, something about “odd futures” and she gave another tinkling laugh and agreed, stoking the jealousy in Hyukjae’s chest just a little.  He wrapped his fingers around Donghae’s thighs and squeezed lightly, but she was already walking away.  Donghae looked at him and caught the smile on Hyukae’s lips.  “What?  I saw it on the Internet...Heechul-hyung mentioned it once.”  His grin grew devilish.  “Besides, not all of us like to get ed up on soju when we’re abroad.”  Hyukjae groaned.  Paris would never, ever be forgotten, would it?  Well, not after he dragged Donghae to Kyuhyun’s room (thinking it was the next one over) and let him the older boy into the floor, only to pull out laughing hysterically the third time Hyukjae slurred “Neorago...only for youuu, Donghae!”  Dropping his forehead to the cool marble of the bar, Hyukjae let the sound of Donghae’s laugh wash over him.  The bartender returned, smiling at Donghae’s fingers on Hyukjae’s exposed neck.


When the concert started, Hyukjae felt a little lost.  But the music was smooth and creamy, just a little rough around the edges, and most of the time it was y as hell.  Donghae had tangled a leg in between Hyukjae’s, resting heavily on the top of his thigh.  Nobody gave them a second glance.  This is what it could be like, he wondered.  This could be us.  His fingers traced a pattern down Donghae’s neck as the brunette’s head bobbed in time with the beat.  Cheers and whistles split the air, and Hyukjae recognized the opening strains of a song Donghae had put on a few times.  Snatches of memories in Seoul floated back to Hyukjae.  Nothing big.  Just Donghae flipping on the stereo when it was their turn to clean up after dinner.  Donghae humming these notes in the shower, floating out from the clouds of steam over to the sink where Hyukjae stood shaving.  Donghae turning up the volume on his laptop when they were scrunched into Hyukjae’s bed, trying vainly not to be heard.
His English had improved enough to pick up on much of the song this time around, he noticed.  Watching Donghae mouth the lyrics along with the singer, Hyukjae couldn’t stop listening if he tried.  

Do you not think so far ahead?

‘Cause I’ve been thinking ‘bout forever...

Frank Ocean crooned over the chanting of the audience, a stranger to Hyukjae that had just voiced out all his thoughts in a measure or two.  Hyukjae stared at him.  Hyukjae stared at Donghae.  Why now, he thought bitterly. Why now, when I can’t keep my together already?  God, I should just get a diary and write in it like a schoolgirl.  But Hyukjae knew it was more than that.  He had heard Leeteuk gasping in the bathroom on the flight over, emerging with red eyes and a blindingly white smile.  He knew how the leader felt about leaving them after this tour, and maybe he should have said something, but right then all he could think about was himself leaving Donghae.  For the army.  For Korea?  For his parents?  And what, exactly, was he leaving?  
As the final chords played, Hyukjae felt Donghae slip a kiss to his jawline, almost imperceptible in the hazy room.  Applause rang out around them, nearly deafening Hyukjae.  He plucked the pineapple chunk from the edge of Donghae’s glass and popped it into his mouth.  “Donghae.”
The other man looked at him, eyes wide and b with questions.  

“I’m really glad we came.”

Donghae leaned in and paused an inch from Hyukjae’s face, lips quirking up when the redhead took in a shaking breath.  Then he pressed his burning fingers against the heating skin of Hyukjae’s neck and pulled him in to taste the sweetness of his mouth, letting the alcohol on his own breath mix with the sugar on Hyukjae’s.  For a second Hyukjae let himself pretend it was enough to infuse his blood, to get him drunk enough that he couldn’t be held responsible for anything he said tonight.

----

Hyukjae hummed in his throat as he moved around the bed, sweeping the heavy comforters back.  They had turned down the air conditioner and opened the windows of the hotel room, letting the L.A. night press in on them, grazing their skin with cool fingers.  He wasn’t comfortable enough with the foreign words to bother trying, but the melody played on in his mind.

“You really liked that one, huh?” Donghae smiled up at Hyukjae from the middle of his bed, the second mattress in the room covered in Hyukjae’s ridiculously expensive luggage set and all the clothes Donghae had rifled through just to find his ticket stub.  “‘Thinking About You’?  I noticed.”

Hyukjae threw himself down, limbs aching, at Donghae’s side.  “Yeah. Could you..could you sing that part for me? I can’t remember all your weird foreign music.”

Wisps of Hae’s warm breath prickled the back of Hyukjae’s neck as the younger chuckled, hands skimming the redhead’s bare sides as he sat up.  “Sure, Hyuk.”

“It won’t ever get old, not in my soul,
not in my spirit, keep it alive --
we’ll go down this road ‘til it turns from color to black and white”

Donghae’s sweet, accented English was pulling at something painfully inside Hyukjae, so he got up and made his way towards the bathroom to brush his teeth.  What, exactly, are we doing? he asked his reflection, blinking under the harsh light.  

When Hyukjae slipped back into bed, Donghae’s eyes were drooping, a faint frown marring his features.  He carefully placed one hand on Donghae’s shoulder.  Not too intimate, he thought, but not too distant.  Donghae snuggled into his warmth, ruining all of Hyukjae’s careful planning.  He sighed. It would always be like this with Donghae -- you couldn’t plan for .

“Hae.  Donghae.  Wake up for a second.”

“Mmm.”  Donghae’s eyes had closed completely, but he was almost coherent. It would have to do.

“Are we ever...going to talk about this? Us? Put a label on this?  Can we just think ahead for a second?”  Hyukjae didn’t want to plead, but a thread of fear had crept its way into his voice unbidden.  .  

“What do you mean?” Donghae’s voice was quiet and sleepy.  “You’re my best friend, Hyukjae. You’re always going to be my best friend.”  

Before Hyukjae’s heart could drop, he noticed something.  In the edge of his gaze, he saw Donghae’s eyes flicker open, something indescribable but clear etched in the way he was looking at Hyukjae.  When he shifted an inch to look back at him, Hyukjae saw the way Donghae’s eyes fell shut too quickly.  

And suddenly, Hyukjae realized something.  Donghae was worried too.  Donghae wasn’t dancing around the subject but running away from it altogether.  And maybe it was  cowardice and maybe it was carelessness, but somehow Hyukjae knew it was because he didn’t want to dislodge a single brick in this fragile, teetering tower of dreams that they’d built together.

Donghae is worried too.
.
The thought comforted Hyukjae like a cup of hot tea, flooding his body with a glowing warmth.  He smiled down at the tousled head of hair, letting his fingers play with the chocolate strands.  Maybe he could think about forever tomorrow, knowing that Donghae would too.