[A/N]: I don't know what I'm even doing. I wrote this one-shot a while ago after I'd first watched Super Junior Show (and cried my eyes out at the end of Ep 8). I had JongKey writer's block I guess, so I decided to re-write the ending of this one and... welp, here we are! (*^^*) Sorry for any major typos or gramatical errors. The premice of this story makes me sad so I don't like to read it too carefully >_>

~

It was just past four in the morning, and everyone else had finally gone to sleep. Everyone, that is, aside from the man I could hear aimlessly shuffling around the dorm. I cracked my door open just in time to see him turn the corner at the end of the hall. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face.

Something was bothering him, that much was obvious now.

I felt foolish, ashamed, for not noticing earlier. Hyung was so attentive, caring. The perfect leader. He was always smiling, telling us how proud he is of us and how he’s glad we all follow him. And we do so willingly—we’re his loving dongsaengs.

But there’s the problem.

If we’re all dongsaengs, who will take care of Leeteuk? Who can he lean on when he’s overcome with exhaustion from constant rehearsals and programs? Who does he look to for guidance? None of us really help to shoulder the burdens and stress he must feel. Heechul always offers to help, and our stubborn leader always refuses. He thinks he can do this all by himself. Why can’t he see that we’re all here for him, though?

Why can’t he see that I’m here for him?

I stepped out the doorway, closing the door behind me with a quiet click. I padded down the hall after him.

I found him standing in the kitchen, alone, in the dark. He had one arm rested on the open door of the refrigerator as he peered into it with tired eyes.

“Hyung?” I whispered, tip-toeing closer.

He said nothing.

“Teuk Teuk Teukie...” I stood behind him now. I blew a stream of cold air on the back of his neck.

He jumped. “What was that?!” He demanded on an inhale. His voice was strained.

“Hyung, it’s me.” I crossed my arms over my chest before going to turn on the light.

“No, don’t turn it on,” he said softly, turning to face me. I caught a glimpse of his face in the sour glow of the refrigerator before he pushed it closed.

He has looked so sad.

I felt my throat constrict. My heart gave several heavy, painful beats. I felt them pound at my throat.

“What’s wrong, Kangin?” He asked me, moving to sit down at the table.

He was asking me what was wrong?

“You never stop, do you?” I murmured, sitting across from him.

“What?”

“Hyung...” I started, only to trail off unsurely.

“Ne?” His voice was thick with sleep.

“...Why aren’t you sleeping?”

He didn’t answer me. He just shrugged.

“Are you feeling sick?”

He shook his head.

“C’mon, hyung, what’s wrong?” I asked, worried.

He shook head quicker this time, and a strangled noise fell from his lips.

I reached out towards him. “Hyu—”

He was still and silent for only a moment. Then he let out a shuddering gasp before bringing his hands up to put bury his face in his palms. I watched, troubled and hesitant, while my leader broke down in front of me.

He shoulders wracked with his sobs, relatively quiet in the sleeping dorm. I watched him for a minute, until I finally moved to sit next to him. I took his wrist and pulled it away from his face. I was grateful for the darkness, because I don’t know what I would do if I had to see his beautiful face drenched in tears.

I placed his hand on the center of my chest and pulled him towards me. I let my arms go around him, anchoring him, while he took large, gasping, shaking breaths. I held him tighter, only to feel the warmth of his tears seep through my pajama shirt.

He noticed it, too.

“O-oh. Mia-mianh-he—”

“It’s okay,” I murmured. “It’ll all be okay.”

He seemed so small and vulnerable in my arms. So unlike the loud, intrusive, outgoing hyung he showed everyone else. I looked down, making out his figure through the blanket of darkness that covered us. I couldn’t help but wonder at how perfect he fit here, in my arms.

He was saying something then, his voice partially muffled by the collar of my shirt.

“What was that?”

“How do you know?” He asked, his voice tightening.

“How do I know what?” I responded as soothingly as possible.

“How do you know that it will all be okay?” He sounded doubtful.

“Because you have me, hyung. You have all of us, and we’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”

Then we were sitting on the couch. It was almost five in the morning now. I could feel my eyes sting with the desire to curl over the man who had his head in my lap and just sleep.

I looked down and brushed hair off of his forehead.

“What happens when we’re not together anymore?” He asked suddenly. His voice was small and tense. He hadn’t spoken since we had been in the kitchen.

“Even when we split up and go out separate ways, we’ll always be Super Junior. We’ll be family for the rest of our lives.” I rested my hand on his, where it rested on his stomach.

“It’s just... I’ve been thinking lately. In a few years, we’re going to drift apart. I can see it happening. I dream about it—that’s why hate sleeping.” His voice was slow and measured, but I could see wetness leak from his eyes and drip down his temples. “The first word I think of when I envision us splitting up is NO.” He caught my eyes and I could see the pain so clearly written in his. “No, Kangin. No. I don’t wan’t this, I don’t. It’s too hard.” His breath hitched and he bit down softly on his lower lip.

I took his wrists in my hands and pulled him up so he was sitting on the couch, facing me. “Hyung, listen to me.” He looked down, and tiny teardrops clung to his quivering lashes. “Hyung,” I said again, tilting his chin up. “Deciding to be in Super Junior with you is something I will never regret. I will never regret meeting you, admiring you, laughing with you... loving you.” I gave him a small smile. “We will be together in the future, even if Super Junior is only to exist in our hearts. I can promise you this.” My eyes were burning, and I couldn’t tell if it was because I was so tired, or because I was crying, or because I loved him so damn much.

“But... But when—” He was crying again. I hurt me to watch him like this.

“Hyung...”

“I don-don’t w-want us t-to—”

“Leeteuk-hyung.”

“I wan-want to b-be together forever—”

“Leeteuk-hyung...” I was worried, watching him nearly choke on his tears. His chest fell up and down rapidly. I took his face between my hands.

“I’m so grateful to ha-have you. I-I just wish this wasn’t s-so hard—”

“Jungsu-hyung,” I said, trying to capture his attention again.

“I should be a b-better le-leader. We’ll l-last long-longer if-if... if—”

“Jungsu! Listen to me!” I paused, and my voice softened. “No one is leaving, hyung. No one is leaving. We love you, I love you. We all love each other, even if we fight sometimes. We’re brothers. I know having members branch off to do international promotions scares you. And I know you miss them. But, hyung, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Siwon, Ryeowook, Hankyung... they’ll be back in a few days. Hankyung called you and Heechul yesterday, right? They all miss you, too. They don’t want to be so far away.” My voice cracked, and I said to him, “there will always be 13 of us. And the 13 of us will always be family, do you understand?”

“We can be proud and stand on stages when we’re 70 years old and be Super Juni-eo-e-yo still if that’s what you want.”

He giggled, sniffling.

I sighed. “It’ll be okay, hyung. You’ll see.”

He looked up at me with trusting, watery eyes. “Kangin.” He leaned into me and wrapped his arms around my torso, his head was under my chin. I shifted and closed my arms around him as well.

I could tell he wanted to say something else, and I knew what it would be.

He wanted to ask me if I was sure. If I could promise that the 13 of us would always be together. I closed my eyes. I could promise him that I would always be there for him and that the other members would try their best. But that’s all I could do.

I decided not to say anything.

Who knew what the future would bring.

But there were a few things I was absolutely sure about at this moment: Super Junior is together. We are one, and I would do my best to make sure we stayed a family. And, because I loved him, I couldn’t let Leeteuk face everything alone.

The leader had fallen asleep in my lap and pushed me awkwardly into the corner of the sofa. I tightened my arms around him, hearing his gentle snores, but didn’t move. I felt cocooned, pinned beneath his comforting weight. Even in sleep, this man managed to make me feel protected, valued... a warmth that I haven’t found in anyone else.

We both barely fit, positioned as we were, on the narrow cushions. But, curving my larger body around his I realized that, even though a couch seems like a poor replacement for a bed, I wouldn't have had it any other way.